LACONIA BIKE WEEK 2016

CLICK ON THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE, TRUST ME


OH YEAH FOLKS, THIS SHIT IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG.... as the kids use to say back in the day or as us old fuckers still say today!  I've not been this excited to host an event in a very long time!  As many of you know, I have a pretty damn good life and I get to travel and do what I love most and that is quite simply to make people smile.  My mission at every single event I host is to give our guests the most memorable time of their lives!  My mission is that God forbid someone gets sick or someone has an accident and the last, greatest memories of thier lives were made with us!  I do not deviate from this mission at any time ever!  This will be the very first time I've ever hosted the Laconia Roadhouse and as a matter of fact, it will be the first time anyone has ever hosted it because this will be the first year it goes by this name.  Many of you will have heard its previous name from all of the internet posts and ALL OF YOU if you have ever attended the rally will know its old name, THE LOBSTER POUND!  Two years ago I hosted the Chop Shop Pub located at the Drive In behind the Lobster Pound and the noise coming out of there was insane.  I was able to pop in there once to see everyone's friend, the one and only Ms. Jasmine Cain perform in the rain and the vibe in the joint was fantastic.  This year I hope to bring that shit up to straight on ELECTRIC!  I've got some pretty big shoes to fill up there and I believe in my heart that I will do just that!

If you are heading to Laconia I best damn well see you grace us with your visit and if you know someone who is going make sure to tell them to stop in and party with us!  I promise you, as always, I WILL NOT DISAPPOINT ANYONE!  I love to work in a place that just lets me be me and from the first phone call with the owners I was totally at ease and confident that I found an incredible group to bring the SHIT SHOW to!  Many of you will remember hearing your parents say that when they walked in the house and found that you had 75 of your closest friends over and can remember the look on their faces when they screamed "who is responsible for this SHIT SHOW"?  In this case no one will have to ask, I'll be the one responsible!

Till we see each other again,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back and
The Man Off Your ASS!

Your pal,
Jack Schit

PRESS RELEASE FOR EVENT

The Saga of the Pickle Sickle

I try to remember that a lot of you have joined me here long after others and I try to keep that in mind when I write or tell a story to help you keep up to date and understand what in the hell I'm actually speaking of.  In this particular case here, I'm speaking of a bike that I bought a few years ago from a friend's ex husband.  The bike was a low mileage amazing deal and for what was possibly the first time in my life, I was in the right place at the right time and actually had a pocket full of money and just as a good friend had once predicted, "one day you will all own an FXR" came true, I was now the owner of an HD FXRS Lowrider Convertible.  It was a 92' and was done as so many bikes were back then, battered, dipped and deep fried in all things billet, shiny and pretty much everything that I am against at my core, but, it was a low mileage FXR and I had to have it.  The work done was all top notch, just not at all my taste.  Let me see if I can find a pic of it the day I brought it home so that you have a point of reference to see how much I ugly'd up this bike!

Looking back at this pic now I have to think to myself "what the hell did you do?"  I wanted a touring bike though that could travel with all the gear that I needed to head on down the road but still be able to carve up the canyons and make mince meat out of the super slab freeways and I knew that underneath all this crazy ass green paint was that very bike dying to get out.  As the months passed me with what seemed to be no more than a nod, I would grab up all the FXR parts that I needed to make this vision come to life.  The only problem was that I was not going to pay someone to do this and I sure as hell wasn't going to pay the over inflated prices that people were asking for these parts that for a great many years were pulled off of bikes and thrown in the corners of garages around the world, I was going to wait it out and make every part I got as much of a score as the bike itself.  It sure was a great plan for the first year and a half or so, but those deals are few and far between and with what now seems like the entire bike community got turned onto the amazing machine that so many hated with passion when it first came out, is making it more and more difficult to find either the parts or the deals, but I waited and waited.

The first thing that I did was score some sweet COP saddle bags and the rail system for mounting them.  With the first score comes the first problem, to fit these bags, I had to change both the struts and the shocks.... oh yeah, don't let me forget the rear fender and the tail light as well.  With those modifications made it was time to test out my asphalt eating theory so I did what anyone with virtually no common sense would do, I packed it up to the gills and rode it 1400 miles to Sturgis and back and you know what, it rode like a dream!  Here is a pic of the very first mods.

Luggage rack, seat and sissy bar added, handle bars and risers changed and saddle bags all ready to rock and roll for the trip to Sturgis and in the end, the final report, she rode like a dream but could have gone a bit faster for my taste but then again that is a bit questionable because I had no speedometer.  You see, the guy who did the work on the bike prior to my getting it mounted the tires on the rims in the wrong direction and knowing that I would certainly face rain on the trip, I had to pull the axle and flip the front rim backwards just to play it safe and good thing I did because the first 8 or 900 miles was in rain like I've never seen!  Oh yeah, we also added a foot of pipe to the rear exhaust to make them equal length and we installed baffles for back pressure, EVO's love their back pressure.  Also at this time I took a fender that fit a wide glide front end from my knuckle, I knew KOKO would never mind, she hates front fenders anyway, grabbed up some Krylon rattle can paint and painted both the front and rear fenders black.....  2/3's of the Green now gone!

Those of you who have become friends with me or began following my writing either here, facebook or in Cycle Source Magazine in the last year or so may not know about how this lovely Billet Barge got her name, "THE PICKLE SICKLE".......  I'm just wondering if I should tell that story again or find an old post on here and just add the link..... I'll get back to you on this when I figure it out.... in the mean time, I'm still working on accumulating parts and I've got everyone I know keeping their eyes peeled for me.

In the meantime, as I ponder on my decision of what to do about the aforementioned dilemma that I currently face, check out the all FXR issue of Cycle Source, people really seemed to love it and if you or a friend doesn't have one laying around, reach out to the mag itself and ask about how you get back issues, it's pretty easy.  If you haven't caught the FXR bug yet, this issue just may "infect you."

It was right about now that I was going to share all of the rest of the modifications I've made to the Pickle Sickle since my trip to Sturgis and as I began to type but had to stop...... it was right then, right now.... that I came to the realization that I'VE DONE NOTHING ELSE TO THIS BIKE!  My big plans to make this my road gobbling machine somehow got sidetracked.  Perhaps it was picking up the Road Glide at a pretty fair price or some divine intervention, either way, I really have no idea.  Not only did I stop at continuing my grand plan but I stopped totally.  When I got the bike the very first thing and I mean THE VERY FIRST THING that had to be done was tires!  Not only were they fairly worn down but they were dry rotted as hell.  Out here in AZ, if you leave something, anything out in the sun and don't move it or protect it, it will rot!  So as I sit here typing this now having come home only a few hours ago from actually replacing the tires I could not help but laugh and wonder how the hell I did not kill myself riding around on those damn things.  Notice that I didn't say from getting new tires there, I said "replacing" the tires?  That is because I wanted to get rid of those damn "cheese grater" wheels and throw on some FXR or Sportster wheels, hell, they are the same frigging thing either way......  I got those about a year or so ago and still didn't get new tires.  Lazy, YES I AM!

Part of the master plan was to get the wheels cleaned up and powder coated black, then I'd put the fresh rubber on and I'd be set to travel the world......  I still have not had the wheels powder coated and the bike is leaving for Las Vegas on Wednesday of next week.... yeup, waited till the last minute and sure as the devil shits fire, I've cut it way too close.  I called up my buddies down at Independent Motorcycles in Chandler and said "can you help an idiot out please, I'm in a jam" and without a moments thought the answer was yes.  Now not only were they willing to help me out but I was told to bring the bike down on Monday..... the funny thing is, the SHOP IS CLOSED ON MONDAYS!  I rode it on over and there they were waiting for me, what an amazing gesture!  As I got off the bike, Diane pulled up in the Flex and opened up the back door to a pile of parts that just left Bob speechless.  He looked at me and said "you want to do this, TODAY?"  Of course, is there a problem?  He promptly replied, "nope!"  I guess on all our parts we were thinking a wee bit too positive.....  We dove into the bike and started tearing it apart when Diane came in and said "we have to be at that appointment at 1pm.  It was now noon and I not only have to leave, but I'm leaving these guys to work on my bike, on their day off and I had to LEAVE, what a douche'bag!  I raced to Phoenix and right back and that was when we began to cross "to do" things off the list.  They didn't get crossed off because they were done, they were crossed off because they couldn't be done.

Can't get the powder coating done......  Okay..... Bob says "take my wire wheels and when we get your wheels back, we'll put tires on and swap them out"..... Okay....  another amazing gesture... in the time being, we'll pull off the wide glide front end, put on the FXR narrow glide and run a 19" instead of the 21"....  Okay....  Then I hear, "Jack, where is the headlight for this front end?" Uhm, I don't know, I don't have one."  Now it was their turn to say "OKAY"....  then we realized that my wide glide wasn't stock HD, it was a custom build so the dual disc brakes would not line up with either the 10 or 11.5 inch rotors.  So now I have no powder coated FXR wheels, I can't change the front end because I'd now have to cut all the wires and didn't have the time to dick with it, I had one laced wheel in the back and the cheese grater wheel on the front with what can only be described as a throw away tire on it which for the record is far better than the tire we took off.  I wanted to paint and swap out the gas tank and front fender but because the front end is a wide glide and is lowered, I can't put the cop fender on the front, but I now have one on the back......  I never measured the cable lengths so I can't change the risers or bars and I can't pull it apart because I have to ride this bitch home in a short time.  I didn't change the seat to two up either.  Oh hell, I should have been out of there a few hours before already and we were still dicking with this thing.  So let me show you some photos of WHAT this thing ended up looking like tonight.....  notice that I did not say HOW this thing looked because to use the word how, one would have to use words to describe it and at this point, that would be difficult.

I think what was formerly known as the Legendary Pickle Sickle should now just be called either the Rainbow Bright bike or simply Skittles but to do that, I have to put something orange or more red on. I may fix it all, or actually ride this bitch proudly into Sin City!  Only time will decide.....  Did I mention that I have not even painted the gas tank that I was about to put on, no, well I haven't....

You may have noticed that not one of the parts is painted to match yet....  This photo was taken for the all FXR issue of Cycle Source months ago and you know how much I got finished and painted?  NONE!  Here is another fun little fact about your pal Jack Shit;  I didn't let it stop me from putting any of it on!

So as you see here above, the saddle bags are off, the new fender and light are installed and there is now a wire wheel in the rear instead of a mag, neither the original cheese grater nor FXR mag.

Saddle bag back in place, rails on, Joey Chop's long ago borrowed luggage rack temporarily installed and the front wheel pulled off the bike.  I think about now any photo from any angle will show many different sizes of wheels, styles of wheels and tires all over the place with the exception of on the bike!

Now after a great many hours of work by guys who were on their day off, we decided that we had no choice but to put the original wheel back on, pull a tire out of the garbage pile more or less and install that, leave the front end, the headlight, the brakes, the seat, the tank, the exhaust alone for now just to get this damn Pickle off the lift so that tomorrow they can get back to customer's bikes who need their bikes to get back on the road.  I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of the plethora of colors now on this bike and I remembered that I have the original FXRT Samsonite tour pack back at the house and it is Maroon and Orange of all things and I actually found myself laughing out loud as I pulled off the freeway racing home to dig out the tour pack just so I could see what it looks like added to what has now become a "modern art piece"......  I walked in the door, right past Diane and she said "where the hell are you going in such a rush?"  I'm going to dig out my tour pack to put on the bike!  "Oh my God, is it done" she asked with enthusiasm and all I could do was smile and say "it is for now".....  Well luck would have it and I found the tour pack, wait till you see this!  It is the candle on the fucked up cake, it is the pi est de resistance, the final kick in the nuts.... and so much more..... check it out!

C'mon now, seriously, after seeing this, don't you want to have an exact replica for yourself?  Don't lie... you know you do!  Heads up Vegas, the circus is coming to town!  I think I am going to pull off the side covers and rattle can paint them terracotta, I think that will be the perfect final touch! It is no wonder that Orange County Choppers has not been calling me to join the design team!  I pulled off this one of a kind bike for about 100,000 bucks less than their average bike!  Now on the serious side, I really wanted to black this ol' girl out all the way.  The engine, the wheels, the front end, nearly everything with a few subtle shiny touches but honestly now that I see it with the cop paint on it, I really have to admit that for someone who absolutely hates cops now, I really like the look of it!  So the work will stop until I figure it out...............  nah, only kidding, I've got a 7 dollar credit at the hardware store so tomorrow I'll go buy a can of spray paint and do something.... what exactly I'm not sure, but I'll do something!  I'll keep you posted!  Okay, I know you are dying to see one more pic of the bike from the "show side".... ha ha ha ha ha.... that makes me laugh even typing it, but here you go.

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back and
The MAN OFF YOUR ASS!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit

A long time coming

Yeah, yeah, yeah.... so I did it once again, I dropped off the face of the earth with regard to this blog and pretty much most social media for a while now.  The social media wasn't really my fault, FB in it's "big brother" capacity changed a setting on my page that everything I posted could only seen by me... that makes a whole hell of a lot of sense doesn't it?  This happened all the way back in the beginning of June and I only found out about it two weeks or so ago.  Now, with regard to the blog there is no excuse that I can make, I just flat out stopped writing.  I had a complete and total loss of inspiration, motivation and quite frankly, copulation!  If it weren't for the "where the fuck are you" and "is everything okay" messages I would have forgotten about the blog entirely.  I thank you all for caring enough to actually miss me.

So you must be thinking "but you are on here now, your are posting this", so what gives?  Today I found inspiration again and I found it under the worst possible circumstances.  I found it today in the Healing Fields of Tempe, Arizona.  The Healing Fields are located at Tempe Town Lake and it is a beautiful and serene setting just a hop, skip and jump from Arizona State University at the end of a long strip of bars and restaurants exactly like most college towns have.  Only for a few days a year, this property turns into a massive and I do mean massive memorial so that we never forget the events of 9/11 and those who lost their lives that day and the friends and families that they left behind, the survivors of the attack on our nation, on our way of life....  Today was the second time that I attended this event as I only found out about it last year for the first time.

I think what opened up my mind and my heart more than ever this year was that I was exhausted and I never went to sleep last night.  I had the alarm set for four am so that I could get the bike up and ready and waiting on the driveway so that I could hop on and ride away when my friends arrived.  At twenty minutes to four I rolled over and turned the alarm clock off, sleeping was not an option on this night.  My friends arrived promptly and we took off for the meet.  To say that I was disappointed with the turn out would be an understatement for sure.  As we pulled out to ride to the Healing Fields, we had only 50 bikes or so.  Here is a shot of the now legendary Pickle Sickle at 5 am waiting to take off on the ride.  When we finally did take off it was a mad dash right from the get go.  Blocking traffic, running lights and all the other mayhem that happens when you put a bunch of bikers together with a destination to get to.  We only made it to the second or third traffic light and had already pissed off the police!  When they put on their lights and sirens to stop us and no one stopped, they just gave in and gave us an escort to the lake!

and here is a shot of the Pickle at dawn, a short time before the sun came up.  There is something so beautiful about dawn in the desert that you could just sit in the saddle and stare up at the sky.  There is a combination of beautiful blue light but yet you can still make out the stars.  If you ever have the chance to experience this, I highly recommend that you do.

As mother nature was making a show of things and the night was becoming day I turned to make out a rather large group of people on the grassy knoll 200 feet away.  With each passing second the light was getting brighter and the group becoming more visible and as I finally made out just who the group was, I knew that I was in the right place at the right time!  Here is a shot of the fine folks on that grassy knoll this morning, 9/11.

 As I said, with each passing moment, night was leaving and the anniversary of the attacks on America was rapidly approaching and with it came the light.  As I made the walk towards the group I shot photo after photo and by the time I finally made it to them, dawn had let all of Az know that it had arrived and what a sight it was.

 Much to my bloodshot eyes pleasant surprise was a shit ton of America's finest men and women standing proudly on that knoll!  On the other side of the tree to the left was the mirror image of what you see here!  God bless The American Soldier!

We all slowly and at our own pace made our way towards the stage where the ceremony was to take place.  Oddly enough, it seems as if there is an unwritten rule that you "don't walk in the field between the flags until after the ceremony ends" and no one did!  When you first see the flags placed perfectly in laser straight lines the exact distance from each other in every direction it hits you straight in the heart.  The time, effort and caring that went in to making this dead on balls accurate was quite visible in an instant.  The sorrow that you feel begins to give way to pride again and it feels good. Below is the very first sight you see as you walk into the park and because of the natural light, you can't see the end in any direction, nothing but OLD GLORY.  What was particularly solemn this morning was that not one single flag moved, as if they too were waiting for the ceremony to begin and the healing to once again commence.  The place is now mostly attended by bikers, cops, firemen, volunteers and every television and radio station in the valley but what was missing was the regular folks..... where the hell were they?  The average mom and pop were not to be seen and this left me with an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I get it that it is a week day and people have to work or that the kids have to go to school but come on folks, make some arrangements this one time a year, plan ahead..... we have to make a sacrifice however small or large to keep these victims and these events fresh in our hearts and minds or like so many other things, they will slowly disappear and become distant memories of some awful thing that happened a long, long time ago...... when we arrived the crowd attendance was horrible.  Last year, in the pouring rain it was difficult to even find a chair to sit on, these year with incredible weather, you could have taken eight chairs for yourself and laid down across them and there would still be plenty of chairs.

As I was getting a good look at the old restored Plymouth Fury, Scottsdale Police car and the incredible Van Pelt Fire Engine behind the stage I could hear the bag pipes begin to play and let me tell you, as a proud Irishman and cops kid, I've heard these far too many times in my life.

Shortly after the bagpipers ended a friend said "hey Jack, I want to introduce you to someone" and I turned around and started laughing....  Nice to meet you I said and the reply was "it sure is Jack".... What a pleasant surprise, standing in front of me was a man I had the great honor to meet up in Laconia a few rallies back and who I now call my friend, the one and only Saluting Marine of viral internet fame, Staff Sgt. Tim Chambers.  Tim always seems to appear at exactly the right places with impeccable timing and I thought this was the case today as well but I was wrong.  As it turns out, this memorial would not be the only event of the day.  At seven pm on this solemn day a candle light vigil would take place and Tim would be the guest of honor and the man to address the crowd and I knew that they brought in the right man for the job.  A few minutes later as we paused in silence for the exact moment that the plane hit the tower I captured two photos taken only moments apart from each other and they are my hands down favorite photos of the entire day and night and I'd like to share them with you now.

Today I rode a roller coaster of feelings and emotions and I welcomed them all.  I was reminded of the pain, the epic sadness, the horror, the loss, the devastation and the overwhelming fear that I felt on this day 12 years prior but I was also reminded of how this nation pulled together, how we put aside our differences and we were one people, how neighbor helped neighbor, how stranger helped stranger.  I was reminded of honor and the selflessness that wave after wave of our first responder's exhibited as they gave their own lives to try and save others.  I was reminded of the patriotism this tragedy had pulled back out of our beat down post Viet Nam souls and as I looked at the total and utter respect that these young men and women pictured above showed on this day for people that most never knew of other than for a name on a list or attached to a flag in a field and I knew that we as a people still had hope for our future.  That we as a nation could rise above the attacks of 9/11 and more than a decade of war that has followed.  We are a tired people but on this day we were uplifted because of the compassion shown and shared and it was a beautiful thing to witness.

When the ceremony was over and the people had nearly all gone, I stayed on for an hour or so and just walked the field.  I learned that not only was each flag marked with a number and a name, but what the age of that person was and what they were doing on that day and the biggest surprise of all was that on each tag was a little blurb about each person and it gave some humanity to the strangers whose names appeared on each of these 2,996 flags in the Healing Fields on this day and it touched me deeply.  During the ceremony I once again had the honor and privilege to read the names of some of the victims and I will forever hold that memory close to my heart.  The property was now mostly volunteers, a few friends, all the tv stations doing live shots and one lone fireman!  That lone fireman stood watch over this field on this day as if to say "WE STILL GOT YOUR BACKS" and I just couldn't help but watch him from behind for a bit as he stood there keeping an eye on the fields much like our friend Tim Chambers does as he salutes all who ride on Rolling Thunder, the similarity did not escape me.

 Today helped restore some much needed faith in me and seeing the thousands who attended the candle light vigil tonight took away some of my anger over the morning attendance.  I witnessed people once again come together out of nothing but good and compassion and a passion was once again reignited in me.  So in as much as I went to this memorial today to support those who have lost and to hold true to "NEVER FORGIVE, NEVER FORGET" as my tattoo reads, it was this memorial that in-fact helped me and I didn't even know I needed it!

Until we see each other on the road again;

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back and
The man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Never know what you'll find on the memory card on your phone

So I got a new phone a short while back and I've really yet to figure out how the damn thing works.  I shot some video over the last few days that I wanted to share but could not even figure out how to get it off of the damn phone.  So after an hour of going back and forth from the phone to the laptop to the phone I had to open up each single thumbnail and there are like a thousand of them.  There were no previews to show what each file was, this was a huge undertaking and a massive pain in the ass!  So I would copy, then paste and then open before I even had an hint at what it was going to be.  I was pretty happy when I found this one.  Hell I didn't even know I still had this and for that matter I didn't even remember I shot this.

The quick back story is this;  I was working out in the back yard with the radio on and I heard the local station run an ad saying what was going on that night.  An old friend that I grew up with was coming to town and I had not seen him in what felt like forever.  I checked my phone and still had his number but it was his home phone (the same number since we were kids).  I sent him a message online and sure as hell he answered.  My old friend is Italian and had been on the road for some time so I asked when was the last time he had some good, home cooked, real Italian food and his answer was "fucking forever ago", so I threw on a pot of water, grabbed up some pasta, opened up some cans of tomato and began cooking.  The plan was to meet him at the buses behind the venue, catch up, eat some dinner and see the show.  I had no idea that we'd be seeing the show sitting on road cases on the wing of the stage!  When we were just kids this guy was one of the best bass players that I had ever seen and I knew without question that if he kept his shit straight he would be huge and sure as hell he is!  I've been around music, bands and live performances my whole life but I've never really seen such joy in playing as I witnessed on this night of my old friend playing the bass!  As it turns out it had to be maybe 15 years since we'd seen each other, maybe even longer.  I don't know how that happens but it was like no time was lost.  He was exactly the same guy he's always been, he's just got a much better beard now!  So here you go, check out this hidden little gem from my old memory card!

Click on this fucker right here and check it out!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I'M LIKE THE FRIGGIN HORSE WHISPERER

ROBERT REDFORD LOOK OUT MAN, JACK SHIT IS COMING FOR YOUR TITLE!  Or your name or whatever the hell that role was that you played in the movie was I'm not sure but apparently it looks like I got me some mad skills when it comes to communicating with the horses!  In this particular case I was saying no so kind things about this lovely rescued horse named Chica!  When my friend Chopper Doll found this horse she was starving and 3/4's on her way to certain death!  Well I should have said our friend Chopper Doll because I'm sure she is probably your friend too!  Anyway, to make a long story short, it had been a long time since we were out her way in Cali and I had yet to see the ranch where she keeps both of her RESCUED horses!  The other horse, Memo, was in even worse shape and to add insult to the starvation issue, this horse had been beaten and abused as well.  When I first saw the photos of these horses I could not wrap my head around how anyone could do this to such amazing creatures.  Well after starving and literally having to fight for food, these two are fattened up and living like rock stars but old habits are hard to break and this beautiful blonde here, Chica, has not forgotten about having to fight for food and she still wants to eat anything that is put in front of her..... and anything that is put in front of any other horse or goat or chicken or..... well you get my drift!  The work our dear friend has put into this property is incredible and I give her kudos and two thumbs up for the near unbelievable job she did in saving these two horses from their horrible lives or really, what was left of them.

While there I was so amazed at how beautiful the property was coming along and even more amazed at how great the horses looked, I took out my phone and began to record video and of course, I was commenting on it.  Those of you who don't know me allow me to fill you in on this tidbit of info;  I'm known for my ridiculous commentary when the camera is on, it's as if I forget that I'm holding the damn thing and no one, including myself ever knows what is going to come out of my mouth so for years any time something needed to be recorded, everyone just handed me the camera hoping for another moment of me putting my foot in my mouth or my head up my ass!  Today, the only one to take exception to my commentary was Chica the horse.  She was not at all impressed with me or the thoughts that I was conveying!  So take a look at the video, it really is pretty damn funny and I would bet my ass on the fact that if I had every horse treat known to man, I could not have gotten this horse to do this with such impeccable timing!  It's short, only about a minute and a half so I hope you enjoy it.  I'll drop the link in below so all you have to do is click on it.

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Jack Shit the horse pisser off!

Keeping this a secret has been killing me!

Well folks, I mentioned a few weeks ago that we had some huge announcements to make this year for the Sturgis Rally at the Legendary Broken Spoke Saloon but I had to keep them under wraps for a bit.  That bit seemed to stretch on a "bit" longer than I thought and it's been eating me alive that I've not been able to share it with you all!  First we announced for our legion of country fans that the one and only Gary Allan to rave reviews, then we dropped the bomb on you fine folks that the one and only Black Crowes were heading back out on the road and dropping this shit down a gear and opening up their throttle with us at the Broken Spoke but that left two huge concert nights left open and I've been getting hammered with questions about who it was going to be.....  well I can't share everything with you right now, but I will share this....  ya ready?  The one and only QUEENS OF THE STONEAGE will be taking the main stage at the The Spoke and I'd say that they will be blowing the roof off the joint but I can't and the only reason for that is that they will be playing under the incredible star filled South Dakota sky!  If you haven't booked your camping you still have a shot, just go to the Broken Spoke Saloon website  CLICK RIGHT HERE DAMNIT.  Every single show is free for campers and we've kept the ticket prices for those of you who are not camping with us at a price that anyone can afford.  So spread the word, it's on like Donkey Kong for the 2013 Sturgis Rally and I give you my word that we are going to break our backs to show you the greatest time you've ever had and help you make some memories to last a lifetime!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

It Makes It All Worth It!

THIS POST HAS BEEN CHANGED FROM ITS ORIGINAL FORMAT:  Changes or additions to the original post will appear in red.  


Yeah, I've been gone again!  I just noticed that it is more than a month since I've posted up on the  blog and I'm sorry, I didn't keep my promise to not disappear on you guys again.  I can't really explain why, sometimes I just drop off the face of the earth.  It's not like I haven't been up to anything, as a matter of fact, in the last month I've done some super cool shit.  Now is not the time to go into all that I've been up to but I will share a highlight of this time period that happened last night.  As a matter of fact, when this happens to me and it's happened quite a few times, each its own story, I can't begin to tell you the level of joy that this brings me....  so here is how it goes and went!

Last night, we went over the to Celebrity Theatre in Phoenix to see Bret Michaels do his show and his charity auction.  I've gotten to know the band fairly well over the last 9 months or so and I can say this for certain, the Bret Michaels Band is chock full of kick ass guys!  I've grown even closer to the main man who runs the console, Rudy T. Reily and John King Stensland super guitar tech to the god's!  So on Saturday night while having dinner with these guys, they asked if Diane and I wanted to go to the show. Well hell yeah we want to go to the damn show!  I never really get to take Diane to do cool shit much these days as the cool shit that I do is all over the country and she is always so busy and it's hard to get away.  I managed to shoot some video with the phone and that actually came out looking and sounding great but the photos are less than great but I'll share a few with you guys anyway.  It was hard not to get a good shot as we watched the show from the orchestra pit and practically sat on the damn stage.

 This is our buddy Rudy T.

 Guitar God himself John

 Dirty Ray rocking his new leather covered bass

 Pistol Pete just could not wipe the smile off his face last night

 So this is how the night went.  Rudy had John call us and tell us that they got tickets for us and we could pick them up at the will call office.  We walked in the basement door to the Celebrity Club or some shit like that, all I know was as soon as you made it past the security, there was a great big bar and what the hell, we were at a concert after all, so we grabbed a couple of Jack n Cokes and headed for the arena.   In this same area was a shit ton of memorabilia and signed schwag from Bret that was being auctioned off for several charities.  The ones I can remember are Wounded Warrior, American Diabetes, Phoenix Children's Hospital and maybe one or two more, but it was a great night of giving was ahead of us all.  We got up inside the venue and the opening act was on stage.  The opening act was just a re-mix of the Bret Michaels Band without Bret.  It was sort of like shuffling the deck with an extra guitar here and there.  We walked down towards our seats which were phenomenal, thank you guys and jumped down into the orchestra pit just to say hello and ended up virtually never leaving that very spot.    Well of course with the exception to smoking, drinking and pissing, none of those were allowed in the pit.... well, okay, the drinking was, it is in the end, rock n roll right?  So here is where the night got special..... All throughout the show, Bret pulled different people from the crowd on to the stage to sing, play guitar or just dance and then would stop everything and auction some shit off.  The first thing he did was take the cowboy hat off of his head and got 4 grand from someone in the crowd.  Then he offered a deal to the highest bidder;  the deal was, whoever gave the biggest donation would be invited to his home with a few of their own guests, party up, ride quads, rock out and he was going to bbq and cook for everyone.  What ended up happening was quite amazing in-fact.  Rather than one high bid, he ended up with 3 bids of 20 grand and one for 15 grand, so being a smart guy and thinking of the organizations that the money was being raised for, he took all the bids, they all won and in one single shot, made 75 thousand dollars!  That night, the band arrived having made 100 grand while on the road for charity.  In one night here in Phoenix, they more than doubled all the money they had raised and it was incredible to be part of it!  I have no idea how much was raised downstairs and what the final total was, but it had to be HUGE!!!

We ran up top to smoke and while I went outside and did that, Diane got on line for the bar.  I walked back in and saw a few faces that I knew and then I saw this woman's face just light up.  "Your that guy" she shouted as she pointed at me!  So I shouted right back "yes, yes I am"!  I had no idea what guy I was supposed to be and then in a flash thought, what if she meant, that's the guy who robbed me, that's the guy who raped me, that's the guy who screwed that giraffe in my back yard..... but it was too late, I'd admitted it was me!  She told me that she was a friend of mine on facebook and that we had never met in person.  For the life of me, I can't remember what her name was, but if I had to take a stab in the dark, I'm going to go with Gabby!  Sure hope I got that right!  So I told her how nice it was to meet her and I meant it, I love to meet people that otherwise I'd only know from online.  She told me that she wanted to thank me.  Thank me?  Thank me for what?  As she began to explain why, I noticed that she had a fairly large scar on her throat and she must have noticed me, noticing it.  She said "that is what I want to thank you for".  "Really, I don't understand" I said.  She then proceeded to tell me the fight she had recently gone through with cancer and then told me something that will warm my heart forever.  She said that it was my writing, my stupid jokes and videos and the way that I was pissing people off during the election process to try and get them to delete me so that I could add new friends that helped get her through it all!  Can you imagine?  I've been blessed a few times to have been told that something I've done, said or written has affected people's lives in an incredible way and it brings me the most incredibly warm feelings down deep in my soul!  To think that something I've done has the ability to help someone else is hard to fathom especially with the level of people that I seem to have the magical ability to piss off!

Lately, I have not had the urge, the ability nor the attention span to actually sit down and write ANYTHING!  Not even short lil updates of what's been going on in our lives could I muster.  I've gotten so many messages asking if we were okay and where I'd gone off to now and why I stopped posting on here?  It took this wonderful women's comments last night to me to make me smile and actually sit down and write again.  Gabby, if I got that right, you've now inspired me again, so I must thank you!  I'll never forget the kind words that you shared with me last night just as I will never for as long as I live forget the day at The Broken Spoke when for the first time ever, someone quoted something that I had written, verbatim, right back to me.  I know that life can be brutal and unforgiving at times and I believe as I've said in the past, that I was put on this earth to help people and to bring smiles to people, no matter how far apart on a map we may be at the time.

I hope life has not been too hard on you guys, my friends.  The holidays are coming and I know for a great many of us, this is the most difficult time of the year.  I pray that for those who suffer most, those who are away from their families, especially our armed forces and all those who are just feeling down that we all get through this shit.  Hell, if all goes well, we will only have to make it until the 21st of this month anyway, then the whole world ends.....  so if you are really feeling awful, we have that to look forward to....

Until we see each other again on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

You are only as good as your word!

They say that a man is only as good as his word and I guess that would be the same for a business or for that matter your favorite bar!  I mean hell, to find someone that lives up to their word these days is like going in to the woods to look for Big Foot, you are pretty sure that it is out there but will you ever find it, doubtfully.  I'm a firm believer in "if you say you are going to do something, then damn well do it"!

Last year, right about this same time, I made a big announcement and everyone was totally pumped about it!  I can't even begin to tell you about the amount of emails, facebook comments and messages that I got asking me about the announcement.  It was the most excited I had seen people over one simple announcement.  It seemed that within 24 -36 hours, I can't remember, I was too pissed off to be accurate any more, I had to rescind the announcement and tell everyone that it was not going to happen.  Then I got more messages and some of them included everything from "well that sucks", "well you suck", "were you just pulling our chains", "anything to boost hits to your page" and shit like that.  At least the "well that sucks" part was accurate.  You see we worked so hard to track down, put in a bid, make an offer, get a verbal YES and that made us feel confident enough to make the announcement.  Shortly after, we got kicked in the nuts, the show wasn't going to happen.  We tried to pull off something that we weren't sure we could even do.  You see, immediately after playing with us, for you guys, the band was to leave to head over to the Middle East and entertain the troops and as it turns out, there was just no way to squeeze the gig in.  To say we were upset would not even begin to come close to how we felt.  We had to make the announcement that the show was cancelled and luckily, since we do nearly every major concert for free at The Spoke, we didn't have to return any ticket money. 

So here we are, those announcements were as good as "GIVING OUR WORD" and then we broke it............   OR DID WE?  Well it has taken us a year to keep our word but this has been the first and only chance that we have been able to pull this off!  When I came to work at The Spoke I told you all that if we screw it up, we will own up and we will try to fix it.  If there is something you don't like, let us know and we will try to make it better and above all else, WE ARE GOING TO DO, WHAT WE SAY WE ARE GOING TO DO!  So in the spirit of being as good as our word, here ya go.

This is going to be one hell of a night at The Legendary Broken Spoke Saloon during Biketoberfest so make plans to get there early, party your asses off with us and get a good spot for the show!  If the reaction to last year's post is any hint of how good this night is going to be then we are all in for making some serious memories! 

We've got so much planned for you all for this rally but I'm not ready to spill the beans on all of it yet but believe me, it is coming soon!  So spread the word, share this post, let your friends know that on October 18th, there will only be one place to be during Biketoberfest and you guys know where that is!

I've just crossed that mystical line.  That line when you know you have an event coming up and you are in a laid back, chill pattern of working and getting things done because you seem to have all the time in the world, then you cross that "30 day line" and it suddenly becomes HOLY SHIT, we've got a party to throw in less than a month!

For all of you who have supported The Spoke for so many years and for those of you who have only come to know The Spoke in recent years, thank you and remember, we do this all for you! 

SO GET YOUR ASS TO DAYTONA AND GET YOUR ASS TO THE BROKEN SPOKE SALOON!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

It's a Good Life

The look on our faces tell the tale of our recent post Sturgis Rally trip to California.  Nothing on earth makes me more happy than to see my beloved Mrs. Shit smile like this!  I also have to admit that I am stunned that this friggin blog allowed me to actually post a photo.  Then again, I've yet to try and publish it, so I guess we are going to have to wait until I hit the button to find out what happens.  As many of you who follow this blog and those who just click on the links I post to it have realized, your pal Jack Shit has not posted shit in a long ass time.  I was debating in my mind the thought of killing this blog and starting another or paying up the extortion money that google wants for me to keep it going.  Now don't get me wrong, it is not the amount of money, as I found out from a friend yesterday, it is not a lot of money but it is the principal of the whole thing that I've had to wrap my mind around.  It is like the old drug dealer saying, They Get Ya On The Comeback!  Once you are hooked, that free taste, that first toke or bump if you will is gone and now they've got you!  Now I'm chasing google around, calling it at 4 am and I'm about to go withdraw some funds from the ATM in the middle of the night to get my fix!  Looks like I will be paying up as I am getting tired of the "HEY ASSHOLE, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WRITE SOMETHING AGAIN" messages that I've been receiving.  Your point has been well taken!  I do have an awful lot to tell ya too!

Before I get in to any of the shit that has been going on in our lives, I wanted to share something amazing with you.  I'm sorry that I've been out of the loop and could not tell you about this sooner but here ya go.  Click on this link, http://brokenspoke.com/campground/ well, that should have been a link, if it is not, just copy and paste it in to your browser.  The first thing you will see is the ad for $69 camping for Sturgis 2013.  That is just an insane deal.  $69 for two weeks of camping in Sturgis at the cleanest, most beautiful campground in all of Sturgis is unheard of.  The response has been so overwhelming that it was held over from August 31st until midnight Thursday, then the prices go up and the deal is gone.  You don't want to miss it.  As a friend of mine said tonight, "for that price, even if you are not sure if you are going, it is worth taking the chance and if you don't make it, you've lost shit but if you do, you saved at least $100!  I agree with him!

I'm very happy to announce that for the last month or so, Diane's shots have gone incredibly well and there was even one post shot day that she had so little reaction that when she awoke the next day, her first thoughts when she realized how good she felt was " Oh my God, I forgot to do my shot"!  This has been such a blessing I can't even describe how happy this makes me.

Two weeks ago, we took our post Sturgis ride out to California and we had an ear to ear smile causing good time.  We rode out at 6 am along with our friend Chicago Mike who rode 413 miles out with us, ate lunch, said goodbye and rode the same distance back to Phoenix across the Mohave Desert.  I'm sure there are a few of you saying, well hell, 826 miles in one day, I've done that, what is the big deal?  Well until you have tried pulling off a feat like this in August, you will never know how big a deal it really is.  We rode back across the Mohave for the first time during the day on our trip home and it was pure evil!  On our way back I realized that neither Diane nor myself had ever been to Palm Springs and since we had the time and we were in-fact together, what better time to go.  WHAT AN ASSHOLE MOVE THIS WAS!  The temp on the freeway was just around 100 or so.  Once you pull off the freeway the universe knows it has you and throws the furnace on high.  Almost immediately it was 109 and almost as quickly, under the blazing sun, we found ourselves sitting in traffic as they laid fresh, hot asphalt down on the road!  After having lunch, Diane was coaxed in to a store by a guy standing on the sidewalk saying "much cooler inside".  It was a good move because the place had great clothes and I was more or less penalized for my decision to take this "sidetrip" and I coughed up the cash and let her just buy whatever she wanted.  Luckily for me, she took it easy!  I'd like to think she did it out of love and compassion but I also realize that there was no room left in the saddle bags so she could not empty the joint!  I't believe that so far so good and this thing is actually letting me post pics so I will try to add another now.

Damn, it allowed me to add another, perhaps my luck has turned!  This is what it looks like about halfway across the Mohave at 110 degrees!  No Diane is not throwing up, she swore that the air inside her bag was cooler than the outside air and was trying to take some of it in!  Even as broke down and beat up as she was, when she lifted her head up after I captured this photo, she had an ear to ear smile!  Right before we left and I do mean moments before we rode out of the driveway, something in my neck popped and I felt it shoot all the way down to the middle of my back along my shoulder blade.  By the time we got to our gracious host's home, the one and only Chopper Doll, I had a baseball sized lump in my back.  Diane was kind enough to rub our new roll on icy hot all over my back.  It felt so good that I had her keep going and going and I quickly fell off to sleep from the relief.  Chopper Doll thought she would give me the ultimate hook up and fired up the hot tub.  Here is a life lesson for ya, DON'T GO IN THE HOT TUB WHEN YOU ARE COVERED IN ICY HOT!  I now know what Creme' Brulee feels like.  Well at least the top part that they finish off with the blow torch!   I'm not sure if I'm going to run the story about the trip in Cycle Source Magazine yet so I'll have to leave it at this point until I know more.  Also, along the lines of the mag, look forward to my story on the 72nd annual Sturgis Rally in the next issue of the mag.  So for now, I'll hold off on sharing the details of that trip as well.

It's been nice to have a few weeks off after Sturgis as I was exhausted and have never worked so hard at a rally before in my life.  I can say this though, for all of you who came to the Broken Spoke and camped or for those of you who just came out to party with us, I want to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you!  Although I've never worked harder, I've never had such an amazing time at work!

The only regret I have from Sturgis was simply that I could not spend the time that I would have liked to with the friends who showed up to party and support me.  It seemed that everyone understood that I was working my ass off, but I would like to formally apologize for that now!  I am going to have to learn to find some happy medium and figure out a way to divide my time up a bit better!  This seems to be the story for each rally now, I will get this figured out one day!

As far as the summer goes in AZ, well it seems that we've had a lot more dust storms than I remember from the previous years.  Of course, if you follow the videos that I post, these storms only hit right after I clean up the back yard or vacuum the pool!  I use to think that Mother Nature had a great sense of humor and I'm now drawing the conclusion that she is just plain mean! 

I could go on and on with what's been going on in our lives and what is coming up for us, but for now, I just wanted to post up, let you know that we are well, thank you for all the messages and keeping Diane in your prayers, it means the world to us.  So for now, I'll just leave it at this!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

What have I done to deserve this?

There are days that I just can't get over how fortunate Diane and I are to be surrounded by such incredible people.  People who at a moments notice would drop everything to lend a hand when you are in need.  People who will listen to you complain even when they have their own troubles in life to deal with.  People who would give you the shirt off of their backs or the very bikes they ride from under their ass!  They say what you put out in to the world comes back.  For the longest time, we had wondered if this was true and if it was, we were patiently waiting for this to happen.  Over the last few years it has happened with gestures as small as stopping by out of the blue with my favorite desert to gestures as grand as friends giving me their motorcycles to ride when my bike was down!  Some of you may know that my trailer was stolen a few months back now and it really sucks.  I was telling a friend this story when he told me that our mutual friend, Brother Mario, yes, Dirty Sanchez, that Mario had just had his trailer stolen from the one and only Shed in Milwaukee!  I couldn't help but think to myself, why do such bad things happen to such good people?  Well Mario was here this past week for a short trip to AZ before he has to head back to Amsterdam and it was incredible to get to hang out with both him and his lovely wife Pat.  We all went out and had drinks and an unbelievable meal with another set of friends.  We laughed until we damn near cried.  Once again, as we sat there, I could not help but to think how blessed we are.

A few days later, we are on the phone and he tells me "you'll never fucking believe this, but guess what?"  What?  He gets a call from a mutual friend, the one and only Kevin "Teach" Baas.  Teach had received an email from out of the blue telling him that if he did not remove his trailer from where it was parked, that the guy would have no choice but to have it towed.  Teach said, "I don't have a trailer in Wisconsin"!  Can you describe the trailer or send me a pic so I know what you are talking about he asked the guy.  Sure enough, the guy emails him pics and it is Brother Mario's trailer, dumped on some back country road in Wisconsin.  Now why would someone go through the trouble to steal a trailer and then just leave it somewhere?  Because the trailer had this massive BAAS METALCRAFT STICKER on it and no matter how hard they tried, they could not get it off!  Painting over it would not have worked and with all the stickers it was too recognizable so they just dumped it.  That very sticker had Teach's website on it.  So the moral of the story is, BAAS METALCRAFT stickers are good luck!  So I was speaking with Teach about this the very next day and we were laughing.  He told me that I was having trouble with my knuck because it didn't have a sticker on it!  I told him that I was out of Baas stickers and not only that, but I was having a hell of a time trying to find the "CHANGE YOUR LUCK, RIDE A KNUCK" stickers.  He said he would look to see if he had one and if he did, he would send me one when he got a chance.  Today, Diane says, "are you waiting on a package from Teach?"  It took me a second and then it dawned on me.... why yes, yes I am....  I was so excited!  I tore in to that package like a kid at Christmas and boy oh boy was I surprised!  Not only did he hook me up with new Baas stickers but.......... oh hell, I'll show ya!

Now if only this package had gotten here two days ago, maybe I would not have to pull the motor out of my 65 year old Knucklehead.....  damn U.S. Postal service!!!!  So not only did he send me the "Change your luck" sticker but also a Knuckleheads Forever Sticker, an old school, Evel style HD sticker, a few Baas MC stickers but he also included a Knuck Motor Patch!  Something so silly as this envelope filled with a few trinkets if you will brought me so much joy and once again hammered home to me just how lucky I have it!  No matter how shitty things get, no matter how broke we are at times, we will always be wealthy because we have people like the ones that I mentioned in this post in our lives!  So look around you, take an inventory of your life and see what you are surrounded with.  If you are surrounded by those who just take and take and take and never give from the heart, no matter what the gesture, it may be time to reevaluate, take stock and clean house!  I do believe in karma, I do believe that what you put out comes back ten fold and I do believe in always doing the right thing at any cost!  So cherish the ones you love, give till it hurts and always trust your gut, it's usually right!

In the next week, I'll be leaving for the one and only Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and while there, I'll be blessed with getting to spend time with people that I love from all around the world and that is the biggest part of my compensation for working the event!  So if you are heading to Sturgis, make sure you come up and see me at the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon and make my day!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

LIKE A TUMOR ON THE BALLS OF THE WORLD

JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT'S GONE, IT COMES BACK!  You did the right thing, you did the treatments, you rubbed the creams on your sack, you let them blast you with radiation that sent your lil swimmers running for their lives and dying in the furthest reaches of your hairy boys anyway...  and still, that Tumor on your nut sack still re-appears, you just can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try!

 Well in this particular metaphor that I'm spewing out my twisted mind, The World's Nut Sack just happens to be the one and only Dirty Dogg Saloon in Scottsdale, Arizona and

I AM THAT VERY TUMOR!  

The deal is done, the contract signed and my return is set in stone!  Lock up your daughters and lock up your wives, ride them murdersickles over to the Dirty Dogg for the TIME OF YOUR LIVES!  I am back!  I will be hosting AZ Bike Week once again and bringing my own form of insanity back to the Dogg for AZ Bike Week!  Last year was completely insane and I'm looking to not only top that shit this rally but I plan to crush that shit in to submission and make last year look like we spent 8 days at church!  For those of you who are worried about such sinful activity giving you an express ticket through the gates of hell, worry not, for I am an Ordained Minister and will absolve you of all your sins each night at closing time!

So spread the word, JACK SHIT IS BACK at the one and only Dogg!  Make your plans to spend your time losing your mind with us!  I will keep you posted as to what we have in store for you as it gets nailed down.  What I've seen that is already a done deal ROCKS!  Live entertainment each and every day and once again, we will host our Annual Spring Fling on the last Saturday of the Rally!  Last year, the party was mind blowing!  It was the first time in my career that over an hour after we closed down the event, people were still lined up outside along the fence just to say hello, take a picture and thank me for showing them such an incredible time!  I was just stunned by that.

There is nothing on earth that makes me feel better than making people smile, NOTHING!  I plan to bring an ever loving fuck ton of smiles to you fine fuckers this rally!  So I will see you there, tell your friends and come hang out with me at the WORLD FAMOUS, DIRTY DOGG SALOON!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit 

When did it all change?

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE BUT IT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR.... That is what is painted on that fairing in case you can't read it.  I was never really sure what it was that these guys did, these Patriot Guard Riders.  When I first saw two of them rolling down the road I assumed that it was just another start up riding club, not a MC, but a riding club.  When I found out what it is these guys do, I was blown away.  While walking around this silly ass bullshit bike event the other night, my wife saw this bike and asked if I knew what it was and what they did?  I said I know a little bit.  I explained to her that these guys took time from their lives to escort the remains of soldiers killed in action and they attend the funerals and unfurl big ass flags to block protesters like those PIECES OF SHIT, THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH who attend military funerals, disrupt the funeral and then sue any one who interferes.....  As I was explaining how they park their bikes a certain distance apart and pull the flags out and make a big RED, WHITE AND BLUE, STARS AND STRIPES WALL to block these scumbags from the family, I actually got chills and caught a tear in my eye.  PATRIOT does not begin to describe what these guys are! 

HERE IS THE PROBLEM AS I SEE IT.  Someone, please, please, please, tell me why these guys even need to exist?  Have we as a country grown so full of hate for each other and for each other's beliefs that someone would go and disrespect the final services of some one who gave up everything to go and defend freedom around the world and who gave the ultimate sacrifice and gave their life!  GOD HATES FAGS is the battle cry of these inbred sheep fuckers!  Because the military let gays in, they now disrupt any funeral that they can.  Worse yet, they sued a family of one fallen Marine I believe because they were stopped from protesting and WON?  The father of this fallen hero had to pay all their legal expenses after his victory against them was over turned by another judge!  When did it all change?  When did we reward people for being low life mother fuckers?  As a writer and a full blown mental case whose words would be censored nearly any place but here, I believe more than the average person in the right to free speech, free expression and freedom to practice any religion you want.  But where do you draw the line between your freedom and disrupting an other's freedoms?  When did it all change?  When did we become so politically correct that rather than offend people who would terrorize, yes, that's what I said, a family in mourning, our government chose to offend the very  family in mourning?  When did the fact that you chose to serve this country make you a target by our own government?  Each and every single time that I see these fucks on television, all I can think of is WHY?  Why would they give these people air time?  Forgive me for this rant on Easter Sunday of all days but I saw a news story yet again about these low life assholes and it just lit my fucking fuse!  Enough is enough once again.  WE THE PEOPLE, elect judges, congress, senators and presidents and it is about time that we stand up and have these self serving, power hungry fucks learn that WE ARE THEIR BOSSES and not the other way around!  When did it all change that common sense was no longer applicable?

Once again, the very reason that I began this post got totally away from me.  What I meant to write about and the title still holds true was, when did it all change, with the bikes we ride?  The parties we attend?  The lifestyle in general?  I went down to Mesa Riverview the other night for bike night.  It's an event that they now host each and every Friday and I thought how cool!  I figured it would be lined with choppers, cool stockers and maybe some hot rods too.  You would think that it was like a 1000 mile ride for all who attended.  There had to be no bullshit, 400 or more bikes there and I counted 17, yes, 17 that did not have a full fairing or windshield.  It was like the grand touring road show.  I understand baggers and I understand the need for them.  I just wondered when did it all change that you could hardly find a bike without one?  What really got me blown away was that as we are in the midst of the worst economy since the great depression, I found it difficult to even find an Evolution engine there.  Virtually every bike was new, can you imagine?  I remember years ago, I was mocked for riding an EVO!  The new guy, with the new fangle bike!  Now Evo's are damn near what the Shovelhead was!  Well without any of the class, sex appeal or coolness that is!

So now I began a quest if you will to find something other than a brand new bagger to take a pic of...  The event is set around a traffic circle with four streets going off in each direction.  In the circle was a band that I could not tell you if they were any good or not.  What I can tell you is that it was probably the worst PA that I ever heard.  I think that these guys watched Spinal Tap one too many times and took that whole "11" on the volume nob way too serious.  Before I start getting the "drop dead Jack Shit, I ride a bagger" mail, don't bother!  I had a street glide too at one point and I would probably still have it had it not been for two things; first it was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever ridden and second, had it not been repossessed!  I could have stopped it from going, I got the call that they wanted the money but Diane's illness had already wiped out my credit, the value of it was lower than what I owed and I just asked the woman on the phone, "you want me to drop if off or do you want to come and get it"?  She was dumbfounded for the record.  "Really" was her response.  "Well sir, we can work with you"!  Nah, no thanks, I'll leave it outside in case I'm not home.... I don't think this has ever happened to them!  I hadn't told Diane about the call and this guy rang the door bell, full tatt'd up head, big beard all sleeved and she opened the door.  The guy said I'm here about the bike and she said okay and the guys mouth dropped open.... "really"?  Yes sir, it's all yours!  We could have easily paid for it but decided the money was better spent on paying the 4 thousand dollars a month for her insurance and meds so we just said "take it man".  She called me and I said I was right around the corner, I'll be right there, I have the key.  When I got there, I think the guy thought I was going to jump out with a gun or something, I simply asked, "hey man, you need help loading it up"?  "Uhm, uh, no, no thanks man, I got it, but thanks again"!

Side tracked again.....  For the record I don't hate stock bikes, I just prefer the Choppers and Bobbers.  I am blown away by the level of talent that goes in to the design, the build and the little details that sets each and every single one apart from the others.  These folks have ten times the talent that I would ever have and I have mad respect for them.  What I could not understand is that with all of these bikes in this mini mockery of an old down town, there were not even "billet barge choppers" on the property.... We walked in all four directions, up and down and on the last leg of our journey, I finally found something cool!  Now I am even less of a fan of Hondas than I am of what people call Geezer Glides.  But and it's a big but, give me a Honda that some one spent countless hours, chopping and grinding and welding away on and they have earned my respect!  What can I say, I'm an old bike guy and as Teach would say, I have a Vintage Bike Addiction!  Check out this BAD ASS HONDA!

Can you see the attention to the little details that just sets this bike apart from something you would buy?

Even if it were something you would buy from a bike builder, it is just not the same.  Hand built

by the owner, out of nothing but pure passion and a vision!  I DIG IT!

I had just run in to a few friends and we were bullshitting for a few minutes when I heard the bike fire up, which by the way was unmistakable from anything parked there.  I said to Diane, I sure hope he rides this way.  He did and I stopped him right in the middle of the circle, introduced myself and told him how much I appreciated the bike and asked if I could snap a few shots, "sure man" he said with a smile.  I don't care how "anti social" you are, it's always nice to have your work appreciated and I did!

There is a restaurant there that we were told was great and a few other friends were going to shoot on over and meet us.  We hung out on the street for a bit and I just could not get over the fact that since this guy had left, there was not a bike on the property older than 5 years!  Has anyone told these folks that we are in a recession?  I walked in to the restaurant and was really kind of bummed out.  We sat at the bar for a few and my goggles were really pissing me off resting on my head!  I took a walk out to hang them on the bike and as I walked out, much to my surprise, a Sprung Pan Chop was backing in to a spot.  I was damn near giddy!

My excitement was taken down a notch when I saw that it was and was not a panhead at the same time!  It was a very well done, knock off!  But I didn't care, it was a chopper baby!  We spoke for a few minutes and he showed me how he put a fake generator cover over the oil filter on the motor and even hooked up the wires to make it look real... whatever it was, it was still cool!  I hung up my goggles and walked across the street still talking with the owner.  He asked, "what ya riding man"?  I said that Knuck over there and with that he said "oh hell man, I know you, you're Jack Shit"..... I said, "yes sir, I surely am".  The guy standing next to him said "fuck man, I love your blog"!  What can I say, my penis just got an added inch to it! 

While we were talking, another guy and a chick were standing in the back just listening.  When the first cat walked away, this guy started asking me questions, and they were good questions, this guy not only knew what he was talking about, but I think he was even testing me a bit to make sure I was the real deal..... well now it's on like donkey kong!  I told him other than a Honda that had left, my knuck and this "pan", there were only two other bikes there even worth looking at and they had only pulled up a few moments ago.  "Oh really, where are they", he asked?  I pointed, right over there man and he promptly replied, "right there"?  Yeah man, right there, well those are ours he said!  Okay, now we are rolling!  Check out these bad bitches!

Now the hard core amongst us reading this will remember that above I used the phrase cool stockers.  They would ask the question, how can it be stock and still be cool?  This is how a bike can be 100% bone stock and be the coolest damn thing in a sea of what was now probably at least 5 or 600 bikes!

That is a 100% bone stock, 1947 big inch flat head!  It was original right on down to the paint!  I spent so much time talking and looking at this bike that I actually got a call from my wife inside the restaurant, pissed, wondering where the hell I went?  I told her and she immediately understood.  THIS BIKE WAS PHENOMENAL!  Now as amazing as this was, wait till you see the scoot his old lady rode in on!  You guys have heard me say that rigid sporty chops are where it's at now!  Here is the perfect example of what a bad ass sporty chop is!  This thing is bad ass right on down to the old ammo can used for a saddle bag!  Check it!  It's got a Wassel Tank, ribbed fender, sprung front end and is just plain bad ass! 

So as it turns out, it wasn't that there weren't people there who rode awesomely cool chops and vintage iron, it's just that they don't get there early!  Thank God folks!  This saved my entire night!  As I kick started my old knuck and rode away, I heard the worst sound that I have ever heard come out of my engine and my night immediately went to shit again!  So again, I ask, when did it all change?  When did my bike go from a perfectly running 64 year old knuck to a knuck with a horrid sound!  When do we catch a FUCKING BREAK I ask?

In closing, all I can say is that the event wasn't that awful.  Even though it was not wall to wall bikes that I dig, what it was, was wall to wall people who I really dug who went out of their way to make me feel really welcome!  I think with each week that passes, this event will grow, more people will learn of it and although I am sure they will show up late, more and more kick ass old chops will roll on in! 

To me, it don't matter what you ride, just get out and fucking ride folks.... but if you do live in one of the hottest places on the planet and you are riding 11 miles to bike night, TAKE THE DAMN WINDSHIELD OFF, believe me, you will need the air to cool off your body!  Till we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit