I've been going pretty hard since August and Sturgis and September was not much different. I have events, weddings and rallies booked for each and every single weekend and I am bouncing from town to town and state to state. Along with performing, writing and the other silly things I do with my life, I've also been, as you know, involved in the renovation work on yet another property. Of all the things that I've been up to, you would think being involved in the bike world would be the most dangerous part of it all right? Running helmetless at 100 mph would surely lead to disaster at worst or a few real good injuries at the least. Walking in to the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people and there is always the chance you may not be walking out! Hell, living in the city where I live now, there is the chance of getting hurt in a mugging or hit by a drunk driver. None of that has happened to me yet but I did get hurt pretty bad. I got hurt how most hardcore rigid chopper riders get hurt real bad............ moving boxes of tile! I twisted the wrong way as I was picking up a box of 18" tile and literally heard my back pop like bubble wrap! I was frozen in place, still bent over, still holding the box of tile and I could not move! I had hoped that within a day or two it would ease up and I could make the ride down to Tombstone or as I call it, Doombstone! Well that didn't happen and I only got worse and worse as the days led up to the wedding. This was nearly the very first wedding that I ever cancelled out on but I could not, I gave my word! I could not only NOT ride a bike, I could not sit on a toilet, I was a mess! I was screwed and then our hero entered the picture, GTP and his PIMP BLIMP saved the day!
After a quick stop at Wendy's for lunch and the hardware store for dog food, yes, that is what I said, don't ask, it is just how it works down there I guess, we rolled on in to Doombstone! I guess in the town that is too tough to die, somethings just never change. I had not been there since Jan. 1st of this year and as we pulled in to the Circle K store, I am pretty sure that the very same people were waiting on line. Not that they were the same customers, I mean they were still waiting on the very same line as they were 10 months ago. Service at the Circle K is well, FUCKING SLOW to say the very least! As we turned in to the Porn compound, we could see all of the folding chairs nicely lined up along the property for wedding guests to sit and relax on. Of course as we drove in, George promptly crashed in to and drove over them at high speed. It was really funny to everyone but me because he had to slam on the brakes to keep from crashing in to the building and the pain that it caused me was indescribable! For the record though, it was funny as shit!
As you can see in the video, the home on the Porn Compound is bad ass to say the least. Well that is if you are in to history! I believe the home was built in the 1880's and the home that shares the property is even older. We arrived just shy of two hours prior to ceremony start time. I had been so busted up in the days leading up to it that I had not written any ceremony for them at all. I had taken the time to put down some bullet points as they popped in to my head while working on other projects. I had my usb storage device plugged in at the time and didn't realize that when I hit save to each of the projects that I was working on saved to that device. Of course that storage device was sitting on my desk at home, 200 miles away. So now it's a little more than an hour before scheduled start time and we have no wedding ceremony. I hopped to it, wrote from the heart and managed to put together what I believed to be beautiful. All we had to do was print it out and head over to the wedding. NOT SO EASY! The printer would not work with my computer. The only way to make it work was to print wireless. The problem with that was that we had to steal the ac adapter from the wireless router to power up the printer. No wireless printing now either. We are now 22 minutes from start time. We burned it to disc and put it in Ilise's lap top, opened it up and files "unreadable". 18 minutes to go, no ceremony! By the grace of God, we got it to print and saved the day. I ran outside, took another pain killer, sucked down half a jack and coke and we raced over to the OK Corral! Needless to say, the bride to be was running a bit late. By now I was on my feet for a while and just plain thought I would drop, walking with a cane and all. Brother Porn and I waited and waited and then!
Finally, I heard the crowd on the bleachers moving and then a collective, AHHHHH! With that, the bridal party began to enter this sacred property! The one and only GTP gave our bride away along with lil Brayden and they all looked great!
Bouquets and garters were tossed and caught, drinks continued to flow and finally, the wedding cake was cut and was served in the traditional fashion of course.
All I can say is that it was a beautiful day that many won't soon forget! I am grateful for having been invited to take part in it. I want to thank Annie Cooper and Juliana Salvante's Photo Pizzazz for allowing me to use their photos here to share this day with my friends around the world!
So next stop for me is now Daytona at the Broken Spoke Saloon, I'll see you there!
Until we see each other on the road,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the Man off your ass!