Another Spectacular Day

Since I began this blog I've been blessed by growing a vast audience of incredible people all over the globe. Jack Shit's World is now viewed in more than 90 countries around the world. It's viewed regularly in places with a great big Chopper Culture and places where Freedom is the worst 4 letter word that can be spoken out loud.

Right from the get go, I gave you all my word that I would never lie to you and no matter what, I'd be straight with you no matter how painful or personal the subject. I guess that it struck a chord with quite a few people who are just sick and tired of being fucking lied to all the time by the very people whom we've put our trust in. In my heart, I believe that has been the secret to the success of this blog. I try to answer every message that I get as fast as I can and publish every comment. Well scratch that! I've published every single comment ever posted to the blog with the exception of one. There was no way on earth that I was giving that guy an open forum to spew more bullshit! So in the spirit of answering those questions, the most frequent question that I receive is about two things and they are usually in the same sentence. Is the weather in Arizona really as beautiful as you make it sound and how is the riding out there? So today, I mounted up the new Go Pro Hero 2 Hd Camera that Diane bought me for Christmas and fired up the bagger! So far, I haven't found anything that I haven't been able to mount this crazy ass camera to. I've slapped that shit on my tachometer, my gas fill lid, the mirrors, the saddlebags and even the inspection cover on my primary! I am stunned with the quality of the footage that it shoots.

So for all of you folks who take the time to read the blog and share it, I say thank you so very much for taking time out of your life, to hear about mine. So I made this video today to show you just how beautiful it truly is here in the Valley Of The Sun! It was a quick 75 miles or so and it was absolutely gorgeous out. The sun was blazing away and it had to be nearly 75 degrees and it's FUCKING JANUARY! Filming the ride ended with yet another mesmerizing Arizona sunset. So I hope this video answers your questions. For those of you who have been on the fence about coming out to AZ. for Bike Week, I hope this changes your mind and you come visit us. When you do, make sure you come see me at the Dirty Dogg Saloon and have a drink with me! Enjoy! Keep this in mind before you watch the video, I am not a videographer nor am I a film producer/editor, I'm just figuring this thing out!




Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Drool Motherf**ckers Part 2

It took me a little bit while watching this before I realized that I had forgotten to breathe! I couldn't wait for the camera to turn the next corner! I've NEVER seen anything like this! If you are an old bike guy, you have got to watch this. If you are a chopper guy, this is truly heaven! Thank you Joey Chop for pointing these videos out to me! Okay, I can take a deep breath now! Sweet Baby Jesus, what I wouldn't give to have a pocket full of cash and a day to spend in this place!



Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

The Mythical Pink Unicorn Revealed!

You guys have always heard the stories of the PARTS PALACE.  It's the similar story to the guy who knows a guy who is friends with a guy whose sister dated a guy whose brother's Uncle's Grandfather had the Knucklehead in his garage, it has 400 miles on it and they only want 750 bucks for it.  The problem is, no one can ever produce the The Knuckle much less so much as a name.  This is the same story you hear about the guy who has an entire barn and chicken coops full of every bike part known to man.  Or you hear a story about the high rise building that is filled from the basement to the roof with nothing but old Harley shit!  Even when you find out that it is true, the chance that anyone would ever allow you in to see it is less than slim to none!  I don't know where this place is and I'm not even going to ask because I'm afraid that I'll get the answer!  I have never in my life seen anything like this!  My friend Joey Chop from here in Az. posted this video earlier on Facebook and it blew my mind.  As I watched it, I found myself saying "oh my God" and "holy shit" every few seconds! 

Well here it is folks, the mystical Pink Unicorn that up until now has only existed in fantasy, urban legend or drunken camp fire story!  The part that struck me deep in the gut was around halfway through when I hear the guy say, and there are five more floors of this!  This was truly like peering in through the gates of heaven and being able to see paradise, but not being allowed to enter!  As the video begins, a few words come on the screen and they could not be more accurate!  Thank you guys for proving to us that the Unicorn does exist!

LIKE A TUMOR ON THE BALLS OF THE WORLD

JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT'S GONE, IT COMES BACK!  You did the right thing, you did the treatments, you rubbed the creams on your sack, you let them blast you with radiation that sent your lil swimmers running for their lives and dying in the furthest reaches of your hairy boys anyway...  and still, that Tumor on your nut sack still re-appears, you just can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try!

 Well in this particular metaphor that I'm spewing out my twisted mind, The World's Nut Sack just happens to be the one and only Dirty Dogg Saloon in Scottsdale, Arizona and

I AM THAT VERY TUMOR!  

The deal is done, the contract signed and my return is set in stone!  Lock up your daughters and lock up your wives, ride them murdersickles over to the Dirty Dogg for the TIME OF YOUR LIVES!  I am back!  I will be hosting AZ Bike Week once again and bringing my own form of insanity back to the Dogg for AZ Bike Week!  Last year was completely insane and I'm looking to not only top that shit this rally but I plan to crush that shit in to submission and make last year look like we spent 8 days at church!  For those of you who are worried about such sinful activity giving you an express ticket through the gates of hell, worry not, for I am an Ordained Minister and will absolve you of all your sins each night at closing time!

So spread the word, JACK SHIT IS BACK at the one and only Dogg!  Make your plans to spend your time losing your mind with us!  I will keep you posted as to what we have in store for you as it gets nailed down.  What I've seen that is already a done deal ROCKS!  Live entertainment each and every day and once again, we will host our Annual Spring Fling on the last Saturday of the Rally!  Last year, the party was mind blowing!  It was the first time in my career that over an hour after we closed down the event, people were still lined up outside along the fence just to say hello, take a picture and thank me for showing them such an incredible time!  I was just stunned by that.

There is nothing on earth that makes me feel better than making people smile, NOTHING!  I plan to bring an ever loving fuck ton of smiles to you fine fuckers this rally!  So I will see you there, tell your friends and come hang out with me at the WORLD FAMOUS, DIRTY DOGG SALOON!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit 

Okla. Woman Shoots, Kills Intruder: 911 Operators Say It's OK to Shoot - ABC News

Once again, you tell me what would have happened to this woman and her child? There was no way on earth that the police would have ever arrived in time to save them. Her husband had died on Christmas and these scumbags tried to take advantage of knowing this woman was home alone. If this had been another state, she would either be dead or on her way to prison! Thank God that this woman had the strength and the courage to protect that child! 18 years old and she stayed calm enough to make it count. There is nothing on earth more dangerous then a mamma protecting her baby! For 20 minutes they tried to break down her door and still no police! What would you do when someone is coming at you with a 12 inch knife, oh that's right, you are supposed to wait for the police to arrive so they can take pics of your dead body and notify your relatives.


Okla. Woman Shoots, Kills Intruder: 911 Operators Say It's OK to Shoot - ABC News

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

OFF AND RUNNING ! ! !

Over the years, I've come to grips with certain factors in our life.  For example, one step forward and two steps back.  I've come to grips with the fact that in my life, no Good Deed goes unpunished.  I hear people say that the bad things in life are a test from God or the Universe or whatever that particular person who was saying it to me at the time believed in themselves.  I was just getting in to some really heavy, possible life changing thoughts, the thoughts I was working on and cultivating this very moment may very well change the world.  But holy shit, Hangover 2 just started so, I'm going to have to put those thoughts on hold!

Okay, well I'm back and although that movie was funny as hell, I've completely lost those world altering thoughts that I had earlier.  I tried to keep them fresh in my mind and I did, right up until the end of the movie when they showed the photo of the monkey who caught the ping pong ball that was shot out of the Bangkok hookers twat with his mouth!  From that moment on, all thoughts were washed from my mind and replaced with hysterical laughter!  So we will now forgo any of that magical wisdom and Jack Shitlosophy that seeps from the depths of my mind and we will get on to better things like going out and bringing in the New Year with a bang!

We in the Shit family are not much in the way of tradition.  Although Diane and I have been together now for nearly 26 years, we just roll with the punches, go with the flow or let the proverbial tide take us wherever it will.  There is one thing however that we have held pretty sacred in our lives.  That sacred thing that we cherish so very much, our one family tradition, what is it you ask?  IT'S OUR NEW YEARS EVE PARTY!  We began the tradition with just a few friend way back when we began dating.  We were more or less kids back then so it was a great way to be able to drink and party and not get in to any real trouble, not to mention that Diane's big, beautiful house was completely empty because her parents were in Italy for damn near a month!  From that day on, it became our night!  Since that first party, we've hosted New Years Eve nearly every single year since with the rare exception.  Over the years, these parties have become both famous and infamous I'm both proud and ashamed to say!  A combination of hard work and good fortune has allowed us to always have a home large enough to accommodate anyone and everyone who wanted to stay.  We've always thought that this particular night was amateur night.  I never wanted myself or anyone that I cared for to be hit head on while driving home by some pencil pusher who had a few too many wine spritzers at his mistresses house and was trying to race back home to his wife and family.  So we more or less insisted that everyone stay.  Over the years, it just became common knowledge.  Guests not only came with their favorite pillows but began to show up with motor homes, pull behind campers and some maniacs would even have the balls to sleep outside in a tent.  There were years that the overnight temps reached 0 and these lunatics would be asleep in a tent in my back yard!

My days of hosting massive house parties for this occasion are over for now.  This past year and the last few before it have been a motherfucker for us and so many.  I really have not had the excitement or enthusiasm to host the party.  Little did I know that carrying on our tradition was exactly what I needed to re-ignite that enthusiasm.  As you ladies have heard this phrase before, I decided to not go full pump, but to just "put the tip in"!  We kept the party small and had a total of 20 people or so.  Although there were some great friends who could not be there, the people who were are the closest people we have on earth.  About 3 hours before the party, instead of being wiped out from cleaning up the patio and the house, I felt more and more excited.  As you guys know, I shoot lots of photos.  I always have some type of camera on me.  This party was so damn good that I didn't shoot one single photo.  I had so much fun that it never even dawned on me to grab the camera.  Luckily for us, our friend Jill had hers and shot some great shots of the night.  Many magical moments were captured this night but hands down, my favorite shot was this one.

They have now made certain types of fireworks legal here in Arizona.  Unfortunately for us, the types the folks around us decided to blow off were not the legal ones.  My dogs were freaking out, especially the one with the green glowing eyes on the left.  That poor dog was so horrified that he would not even step outside.  Anywhere you stepped, he was behind you, next to you or jamming his head between your legs.  We had to dose him with xanex just to keep him from having a canine heart attack.  We didn't know what else to do.  As you can see here, it had long since hit and he was just totally chilled!

Look at the night time temps that we were blessed with for the party!  I know that it seems warm, yet it really did not feel that way.   That is why we had to drink so much, solely to keep warm of course.

 Discussing the art of the chopper,

I like to simply call this shot, THE NEW SPICE GIRLS!  We've had both of these dogs for a long time now.  Over all these years, neither one has ever sat still for a posed photo.  Guess the xanex helps!

Here we have Long Jon schooling me in the ways of the game of pool.  I lost and learned nothing!

 This is our friend, our neighbor and our extraordinary photographer for the evening, Ms. Jilly!

Poor Pinky Pancake, she waited and waited for that damn elevator to take her down to the basement!

Two words, Weenie Tots!  Who doesn't love Weenie Tots?  These were home made by my girl!

What struck me this year as mind blowing and different than most other parties that we have thrown was the incredible generosity of our guests.   Everyone showed up with something to take the burden off of us and some showed up with gifts that were amazing!  How do you ever go wrong with a bottle of Jack?  You can't!  Thanks Brother Adam, you rule.  Our photographer Ms. Jilly, came with gift in hand and it was like nothing I've ever seen.  If you are like me and you like to beat your meat, then you too will truly appreciate the gift that she was kind enough to bring us.  Here, I'll show ya.

Right after Sturgis, I had asked Pinky about doing a microphone tattoo on my dead arm.  All I told her was that I wanted an old mic.  I could not come across with the idea that I had in my mind.  I mean not at all.  There was no way for me to describe it.  With no input, she showed up with this piece of art, framed and it blew my mind!  This photo does it absolutely no justice!  BAD ASS!

 While hanging out in the garage with some of these fine party attendees, the one and only GTP comes strolling in and says, I got something for ya man.  He hands me a garbage bag!  I love garbage bags.  I thought he was just adding to my bike luggage collection.  Well that was until I opened it!  I am now the proud owner of a George The Painter Original piece of artwork.  Again, believe me when I tell you, these photos in no way shape or form do either of these pieces of art any justice at all!

Looking in to the eyes of this chick will send chills down your spine.  Just staring at this painting made me want to run down to the projects and score some dope!  Luckily, I don't drive on NY eve!

The party could not have gone any better than it did!  There was no drama, no bullshit, nothing but great times, hard partying and non stop laughter!  I can't put in to words how lucky I feel to have all of these amazing people in my life, in our lives!  If we truly are judged by those that we spend our time with, then I MUST BE AMAZING!

The only other tradition we have is our New Years Day bike ride.  We had planned on joining the group and riding to Cave Creek.  THAT DID NOT HAPPEN!  When it came time to leave for the ride, our house guests were just beginning to get their asses up and moving.  I didn't mind because it just gave us more time to hang out and enjoy each others company.  Later in the day, once everyone had gone home, I rolled the Road Glide out of the garage and we took off for the mountains.  It had been a good long while since the lil woman and I just took a ride.  A ride with no real destination or arrival time set in stone, just a ride to nowhere and it was great.  We use to live on Superstition Mountain and it is the only thing I miss about our last home.  That is where I pointed the bike and that is where we ended up.  The Goldfield Ghost Town was a perfect spot to walk and talk and sit down and have a beer, not to mention that the riding and the view is just plain spectacular!

We took a whole bunch of pics that day.  Every single shot came out perfect but one.  Oddly enough, only a portion of one photo was screwed up.  I guess they don't call this area a Ghost Town for no good reason.  I don't really believe in all that shit because I know of no proof positive that any of this exists.  I do recognize things that are very difficult to explain.  We were sitting at the table and I had the camera on a mini tripod.  I held it out in front of us and shot the pic.  I just couldn't get the angle right.  I thought I would put it on the table, set the timer and shoot a better photo.  I set the timer for 10 seconds and stood next to Diane.  All of a sudden, I got this crazy chill.  Now mind you, it was nearly 80 degrees in the heat of the day.  At the same time, I got a bit sick to my stomach.  I didn't think much of it, after all, I partied the night before like it was my last day on earth.  In as fast as the feelings came, they left.  I remember the very moment that it happened because it was just as I set the timer.  Look closely at the photo and look at my head and face.  Look at the ORB floating in front of my face. Not one other photo had this.  None before and none after!

Did you notice that it is not in front of my shirt, that it is not in front of Diane's face or that it is not anywhere else?  Pretty damn strange if you ask me!

The sun would soon fall out of the sky and beautiful day or not, the temps would drop quickly.  Even though our total ride that day was only around 70 miles or so, I wanted to ride out in to the desert before the sun set and get one great shot of the day, of our ride and capture for eternity, just how happy I was this first day of 2012.  I wanted to capture it for those days ahead that I won't be so happy on.  On those days, I will be able to look back at it, remember that feeling and hopefully re-capture it.  We hopped on the bike and rode off towards the setting sun.  I took a 20 mile detour hoping for the perfect hill, the perfect back drop and all at the perfect light!  Just as our luck would have it this first day of our last year, we nailed it.

So I go through the trouble and run the risk of not getting the shot before the sun set.  I ride out in to the desert to find the perfect Saguaro Cactus to shoot in front of on the perfect stretch of road.  The road has very little traffic on it and that is why I chose it.  I can stand in the middle of the road and shoot or I can put the mini tripod down on the road and know that it won't be crushed by a passing lunatic!  So we hit everything just right.  We stop and I line the bike up directly with the setting sun.  I play the shadows and light.  I've got the perfect shot lined up, it has all paid off!  WE DID IT!  With that, in all this massive open desert, on this long, lonely stretch of road where there are hundreds of thousands if not millions of these Saguaro Cactus, this guy comes pulling up and quite literally parks right in the frame of the shot I've set up.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  He gets out of his truck, sees us shooting pics and walks right up and through the shots.  "Are you taking photos"?  UHM, NO, I'M ABOUT TO JAM THIS CAMERA AND TRIPOD UP MY ASS, YOU FUCKING MORON!    He then says, wow, I bet it will be a good one.  Hope I'm not in the way.  Well, you walked through, your shadow is in the photo now and YOUR FUCKING TRUCK IS NOW PARKED NEXT TO THE GOD DAMNED BIKE!  I will admit that it truly was a bad ass truck!  It was so damn strange.  We were just stunned.  He took a few pics of his truck, of us and then the cactus, got in his truck and drove away!  I looked at Diane, she at me and at the same time we said to each other "what the fuck was that"?  Then we just laughed and tried to beat the darkness home.

You believe that shit?  As you can see, I had the shot lined up, the shadow spreading its way across the ground and actually climbing up that cactus.  Now it is parked under his fucking truck!  We get back on the bike, laugh, shake our heads and ride away.  We don't make it a mile away and there is the guy parked on the side of the road, right next to another cactus!  Did he stop just to fuck up our photos?  Guess we will never know!

I had an amazing last day and first day of the year.  I am grateful for all the good that I have in my life because it makes me humble to know that I've been blessed and I've learned to be grateful for all the bad in my life because it builds character.  I am not going to lie to you, I told you that I never, ever would.  I would like to have more good than bad this year, I think it would be a nice change of pace once and for all!

I wish you each and every single one of you who have chosen to take this journey with me here on the blog and follow my antics and support us when times are bad, only the very best that life can offer.  I wish you each, love, health, happiness and joy in this upcoming year!  Live each and every day like it is your last and remember once again that there is never a wrong time to do the right thing!  HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE and from the bottom of my heart, I honored to have you along for the ride!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit