It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Thursday, November 10, 2011


I don't know about you, but I had never even heard about this. After all of these years that have passed since the attacks of 9/11, I only found out about this today for the very first time! Being a Jersey boy and having lived there when this happened, I don't know how I never knew of this!

Inside each of us is a hero, it just needs the opportunity to come out! Everyday I'm proud to be an American, some days though, much more than others! This is just incredible. Watch this, enjoy this, share this and remember, there is a hero inside of you as well. Never look back on your life and say "if only I had done ________"!

Until we see each other on the road, remember, there is never a wrong time, to do the right thing!
With Veterans Day tomorrow, never forget the ultimate sacrifice that others made so that we may live in Freedom!

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I guess the rule of 3X's is true!

You guys know how it goes right?  You ask a girl how many men she has slept with and she says "uhm I think maybe 8"?  Well right there you know for sure that it is at least 24!  The rule of three!  I learned this from one of the American Pie movies, so it has to be accurate and true!

Well I guessed I should have factored this in on renovating this last home.  We started this damn thing mid August and although it has come so far since we've gotten it, it is still no where near being done yet and it is making me NUTS!  My contractor explained how close we were just a few days ago to being finished!  I have to admit, I was pretty frickin excited.  Once we wrap up the construction, I hit it hard with landscape and walk backwards off the property as I pound the for sale sign in to the ground.  I've gotten a lot of messages from quite a few of you asking about progress of the house and have asked once again to see some updated pics.  So here you go.  I'll try to line em up, so you can see before and after shots.  Oh well, really before and STILL GOING ON shots, we haven't hit the AFTER part yet!

As you can see by the pics, the face of the house has changed drastically.  We got ride of the horrible rotting wood siding and blasted a hole in the front and put in a big double window.  We did stucco and and painted the face and did all the exterior trim in Chocolate Brown.  We pulled down that awful railing and had planned on replacing it with an oak rail, but decided not to put anything in its place.

We knocked the ever loving shit out of the existing kitchen.  We took out the pantry and and what I can only imagine was a split laundry room or I should say closet.  The water lines were there, but I could never figure out how you could put a washer or dryer in to it?  I guess that is why I found matching hot and cold water lines on the outside of the house on the other side of the wall.  We pulled up the god awful linoleum and ran 20" ceramic tile throughout the kitchen, hallway and great room.  The bathrooms were so nasty, I'm not sure I would shit in them if I was sick.  When we first looked at the house, I said the master bath reminded me of an Iraqi Truck Stop! 

We pulled out the shitter, the shower and the vanity.  We ran the same 20" tile on the bathroom floors and did 12" inch on the walls and ran glass tile through it!  I got to tell you, the glass tile, although expensive as hell, it really is worth it and shows that you took the time to go the extra mile on the renovation.  We just have to swap out the horrible mirrors and put the shower head and knobs back on.

The main bath was just as nasty.  I swore they were making bath tub crank in it.  Or it was one of the worst tub rings I've ever seen!  We did the same in this bath.  We ran the same flooring and tiled the the tub surround, replaced the vanity and shitter.

We still have to yank out the mirror in this bathroom as well.  Yes I know, it should have come off while doing the demo, don't ask me why it didn't.  Why are the tops of the toilet tanks off you ask?  Because there is no water turned on to the house.  So each time one of the guys has to shit, he gets a five gallon pail of water from the pool, pours it in the tank and flushes away!  We are nearly there with this room as well.  Same shit, different day or I should say same shit and still another fuckin day or week or month!  Hell we've crossed in to yet another SEASON!

For the most part, with the exception of touch up paint and such, the bedrooms are done.  Thank God something is close to being done.

That's the master bedroom and although it's not a huge master, it really came out pretty nice.  The 2nd and 3rd bedrooms came out just as well.

We wiped out the massive storage closet from the second family room and pulled the wood stove out.  We closed up one doorway and punched through another and now the room has a walk way in to the pantry / laundry room that we built, inside the house I may add.  We decided that the home will more than likely be purchased by a young family with kids, so we carpeted this huge room so that kids could play on the floor.

As you can see, the home has come a long, long way since we picked it up.  Like any job, it always takes longer than you expect, but this one is just killing me!  We are so very close to getting this one on the market that I can taste it.  So if you know anyone looking for a totally renovated 3 br home with every major part of it brand new!  Oh yeah and it has a built in pool with 180 degree mountain views!  If you know anyone, hit us up, this is a win win for everyone!  Next, I'll hit you with the landscape that gets done. 

So there you have it my friends, there is the latest update on the Phoenix property.  Thank you so much for your interest and your curiosity.  Someone asked me if it irritated me that they hit me up with real estate and renovation questions, of course I don't, not even in the least.

So until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Nothing on earth like Mike Lichter pics! The man is the master!

Last year I had the incredible opportunity to come to Sturgis and host the World Famous Original Broken Spoke Saloon, down town!  I would work all day and then the one and only Jay Allen would roll over the mountain from the Campground, come on in, talk to the people who love him and who he loves so much, the bikers that take their rally time to spend with us.  He would host a contest, then jump on his bike and race back over the mountain.  At night, he would do the very same thing.  He would race over the mountain and come down and host the Miss (enter beer brand here) contest and then boogie right back out and over the mountain.  On Thursday, during the 70th, I was notified that Jay could not make it down tonight and that I would have to host the contest myself.  I was asked if I was up for it?  Are you shitting me?  Of course I'm up for it, this is what you pay me to do!  Only problem was it was not a Miss anything, it was a Mr. Corona contest!  I didn't get the short end of the stick, I ended up getting both ends of a whole bunch of different size and length sticks.  It was also my birthday!

Well to say that I knocked the contest out of the fucking park would be an understatement.   As a matter of fact, it would be the understatement of all understatements.  When the contest was over, I was walking around the dance floor and as I went to leave, I WAS STOPPED!  My microphone was taken away from me and all I could think was "JACK YOU WENT TOO FAR THIS TIME"!  Next thing I know, a bar stool is being pushed under me from behind!  An announcement was made that it was my birthday and the entire packed Broken Spoke sang happy birthday to me, it's something I'll never forget.  Then all the girls from the beer distributor came out and surrounded me and they were carrying a pie.  A birthday pie for lil ol' me!  All the while this is going on, the one and only Mike Lichter was just shooting away. 

It seems that only a short time before, Sasha Mullins, my boss downtown had gone out or had sent someone to the store.  I think she had gone herself with Radical Randy's girl and got me this pie.  Here lies problem one.  The pie was frozen.  As I blew out my candles, the beer girls discussed who was going to push the pie in to my face.  No one wanted to be the one.  They each thought that I would be mad at them.  Here is a photo that Mike just sent to me last week, you can see me posing with my happy birthday clown hat on and the girls in the back with the pie.
I'm a giver, not a taker.  It is so much easier for me to do nice things for others but it is really hard for me to receive gifts or compliments.  That is why I'm always so humbled to get them.  I wish I had a clearer shot of the girl with the pie in her hands because I'd sure like to get some pay back.... lol...  You can even see the look on my face, eyes closed and looking down.  Any body language person will tell you that I'm uncomfortable here and touched!  Here lies problem two, the pie was still mostly frozen and the girl was so afraid to let me see her coming that she tried to reach around and hit me in the face with it.  So what I got was a pie in about 15% of my face, the rest was in my ear and the frozen, jagged pieces went straight in to my eye!

As you can see in the above photo, the missed nearly all of my face but the left side eye and ear were just jammed packed with it.  It was a great night and I couldn't be more thankful that anyone even took the time to do this for me!  As I warned Sasha, I'll get your ass back for this.... I'll find out when it is your birthday and I'll get ya... She told me that I would never in my lifetime know when it was.  Well needless to say, I found out when it was, had a pie delivered to her front door step with a note that looked like a Ransom note.  I wish I knew where that pic was.  You guys would have really loved it, one day I'll find it and I'll share it with you.  It had to screw with her head because I live in Az. and she lives in Tenn., so for me to not only find out the date but have my minions do this was amazing!  The long reach of Mr. Shit!

As so many of you know, when I work, I never stop.  I also nearly never, ever leave the property where I am working.  There are far too many things that can go wrong and I will never take that chance.  At the 70th Sturgis Rally, part of my duties for the Spoke was to attend the Cycle Source Magazine Ride out of the Spoke Campground.  It was truly an incredible ride with an amazing turnout of some of the finest people our lifestyle has and some of the sickest machines to ever hit the pavement!  If you ever get a chance to do this ride, don't miss out on it! 

So on that day, the one and only Mike Lichter did what he does better than anyone that I know.  He got his crazy ass on the back of a bagger, backwards of course and shot the ride.  A few nights ago, he was kind enough to not only share the photos from my birthday celebration but he was also kind enough to share with me a few shots he captured of me riding KOKO, my Knuck through the Black Hills on the way back from the ride.  This man is the master of what he does and it truly is an honor to have him capture you for all eternity, doing what it is you love the most!  So check it out.  I always wondered what the hell my bike looked like from this side while in motion and now I know.

There are a few things that happen in your life and your career that you never forget.  Hosting downtown at the 70th Sturgis rally at the Broken Spoke will be one of them and these photos that Mike Lichter captured above will also be right up there in that list of memories.

Mike, thank you so much for sharing these with me, you are one class act!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

The group photo above was sent to me after the 70th rally.  It was shot by Geno Stull and it's a hell of a shot from an amazing day!