Been A Long Time Coming

Since I have not posted shit in forever, I thought since I broke out of my massive inspirational coma today, I'd share some cool shit that's gone on over the last little while since I dropped off the face of the earth!  I believe my last post before today was just prior to Daytona Bike Week down at the Broken Spoke letting you all know what we had going on down there.  As it turns out, the event was a huge success and the feedback that I've gotten from those who came to work and party with us has been stellar.  It is very rare indeed that I ever leave the property when I'm working a bike rally but I could not resist taking off on the Chop In Block / Cycle Source ride around what I believe is called the Wildlife Loop out in Ormond.  A friend was kind enough to loan me another friend's bike and I jumped in to the pack and we took off.  The ride was amazing, the people along for it could not have been better and for about an hour and a half, we all got to forget that we were there to work.  Here is a shot that our friend Uli captured while on the ride.  I'm not sure what it is, but there is something that just strikes me about this shot.  I'm not sure if it is the way the sun shines off that amazing paint job or the blur of the trees making it look like we are rolling 100 mph or what but I just love the hell out of it so I thought I'd share it with you lunatics.

Once again I had the great honor of hosting some of the finer happenings at Arizona Bike Week this year and there were quite a few moments that really stood out and a few memories that will stay with me for as long as I live.  I got to once again do a gig with the incredible folks over at HD of Scottsdale and they clean, clear knocked it out of the park again.  It was the kick off party for AZ Bike Week and the crowd was pumped up.  In true Jack Shit fashion we hooked them up with all kinds of Free Shit and the crowd was so massive that we had to use a cannon to reach from 1/3 of the crowd back.  The concert  portion of the event was held at their new training facility which by the way is totally state of the art and enormous.  I've yet to think of anything that could not be pulled off with this amazing facility that they have there.  The shot below was taken from the lighting console which was about halfway back in the crowd from the stage.  I love seeing the crowd here but what I really love is the shot of that flag on the stage.  There is a great story here to go along with that flag as well.

Another great shot that was captured that day was of me screwing around when I didn't know anyone was looking.  Shortly before the shot was taken, I had introduced and watched the performance of one of the best bike stunt teams that I had ever seen.  It was a warm day and I had a shit ton of property to work that day and from the jump I decided that I would ride my bike around the property rather than walk back and forth endlessly.  On one of my trips back to the main stage I was informed that there was a delay in getting Steppenwolf off the stage from their sound check and our rehearsal would have to wait.  I was riding around the training facility when I realized that I had never surfed the bagger since I got it and what better time and place to do just that, after all, it is a "training facility", so I couldn't pass it up.  As I came around the lighting / sound tower I had just began going up on the bike when out of the corner of my eye I saw someone standing there.  He never got a shot of me all the way up but he did catch me getting there.  Who knew that you could surf a road glide?  Getting that loose neck fixed after 2 years sure paid off!  Thanks Bob from Independent for the hook up!

What makes working for this group of people so great is just that, "the group of people" and the head of that group is the one and only Dr. Bob Parsons and this man is nothing but class!  He spent top dollar to throw this party and here is the kicker, if you have a mc endorsement on your drivers lic., then entry to the event is totally free!  How classy of a move is that shit?  Dr. Bob went way out of his way to fill the entertainment roster that day.  When you bring in a big national act, it's easy to just hire a local band or two to open up for them and save yourself a fortune but he sure as hell didn't do that.  He took the expense to bring in a band from Nashville that was really great but the point of this is the band that he brought in all the way from NYC.  The band is called Madison Rising and they were extremely talented.  More than talented, they are truly patriots and it really shows in their performance.  Just like Dr. Bob, the lead singer is a Marine and as you see there I didn't say former Marine because as I've learned, there is no such thing!  The band played a set earlier and was just incredible but it was the job that they did later that evening that flat out blew everyone's minds.  The original video the band made is stellar but I thought that here, now, I would share the video from that evening.  So check it out right click me now.  As much as the performance live was incredible what moved me the most was when a moment of silence was asked for by the lead singer and in a split second, nearly six thousand guests fell instantly silent, it was incredibly powerful!  This is a band that because of the fact that they are patriotic, find it very difficult to find a welcoming audience because as you know, you are damn near shunned now for being proud to be an American!  If you see these guys anywhere, make sure you go and support them.  The original video made by the band on youtube has nearly 4 million hits and that's pretty damn impressive to me!  

Dr. Bob is the founder of Go Daddy and although he is a MASSIVE success, he takes care of his people and his customers at a level I've yet to see any place else.  About 20 minutes before we brought Bob up on stage we were hanging out backstage, we had gone over what was going to happen when he came on and we were talking with the band and that is when I saw and heard something that I'd never imagined was possible in the entertainment industry.  Dr. Bob was speaking with these guys and asked how they are supported and how it is going for them.  The reply was the same that nearly every band gives, "we do it all on our own" until we make it big enough to get some support but as I mentioned above, in this nation, is these times, being a patriot is perhaps the ultimate curse in the entertainment industry.  Dr. Bob turned to one of his top guys and said "bonus these guys $ _______, write them a check right now" and the look on the faces of the band had to match the look on mine.  That look was shock, awe and total surprise!  I won't mention the amount of the bonus that was given because that really isn't my right to do, but I can say this, HOLY SHIT!  Dr. Bob, you my friend are nothing but class!  I'm proud to be part of your team!  As I mentioned earlier, there was a story behind that flag that we used on the stage.  A soldier's dad carries that flag around with him and is such a massive fan of Madison Rising that he attends many of their shows.  We knew that we needed a flag on stage for this special moment and we asked if we could use his and he was humbled and honored.  I never had a chance to hear the entire story behind the flag but I can say that it was very moving to say the least!  Here is one of my favorite shots captured that evening!

 Below is a shot captured that night right before we all went on stage.  Dr. and Mrs. Parsons, Madison Rising and your pal Jack Shit!  This was a night that I will never forget.  The only thing that could have made this better would have been if the owner of the flag could have been in there with us.

I could go on and on in this post but I won't because it seems to be getting long and since I've not really posted in five months, I don't want to kidnap you and hold you for ransom on this page.  Next time I get back on here, I'll share some of the other great shit, sad shit and cool shit that has been going on in our lives over this past half year!

I do have to say that it feels good to write about what's going on again and let you fuckers back into our lives.  It's not always easy to just spill out for the whole world everything that is going on and I feel that if I can't lay it all out on the line then why share anything.... ya know what I mean?

So then, until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

IT SURE LOOKS TO BE WET AND WILD!

Even though we have been at it since last Saturday, today, AZ Bike Week officially started.  If the crowds that we have seen here at the Dirty Dogg are any sign of what tonight is going to be like, god help us all.  Normally we don't have someone at the door with a counter until late and he's already been out there 40 minutes already.  Last night's Tattoo Tuesday was pretty bad ass.  I know of no other place that will let you enter a tattoo contest for free and then give out 1200 bucks in cash for prizes.  I think my favorite part of last night was not the girl who got in the contest and didn't have one visible tattoo, notice that I said visible there, but rather the fact that as I introduced man after man, virtually every single one was or is a soldier.  The ink that has come from these last wars is impressive.  8 out of the 10 or 11 contestants were soldiers.  What blew me away the most was as they pulled up, or pulled off their shirts were the massive scars from being shot and blown up.  Until you see it, it is difficult describe.

Now tonight, many will find out for the first time why it's known as the World Famous, Dirty Dogg Saloon!  Because it is wet and wild Wednesday and it is going to be just plain debauchery.  If you have never been here for this, don't panic, there is still time to get down because we won't even get that shit started till after 11pm.  For those of my readers that can't make it to az for bike week, don't worry, pics will surely follow.  If you want an idea, search this blog for these very words, wet and wild wednesday and you will get an idea of what I have planned for tonight.  

So many amazing people have come in to visit  me already and so many more are expected to visit.  We had some folks from that "lil band" I performed with on Sunday here last night as well.  I look forward to seeing you fuckers.  There are many that I wish were here with me this year that are not and I just want you to know that you are missed sorely.

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,

tits in your back

and the man off your ASS!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

How do you find yourself always involved in this shit?

Funny you ask and you are not alone, a lot of people ask me this question and the answer is simple, I've earned it I guess!  Whether it be being involved in really good shit or really bad shit, I guess I am there because of something that I've done....  what can I say, the strangest shit happens in my life.  In this particular case the question was how I found myself involved in the Grand Opening of the new HD Dealership in Scottsdale.  Jack, you are a guy who spouts off about supporting your local bike shop and here you are on stage at a dealership, what gives with that?

I've never made my position on this clear or why I had taken that position so allow me to do it for you now.  I've watched thru the early 90's when Harley exploded and the super dealers were built right up until today and I've seen the customer service go straight to hell.  I've witnessed an attitude of "go ahead and leave our store, we don't care, we will sell to the guy standing behind you"!  It really bothered me.  It truly seemed that money was coming in hand over fist and these dealers could not give a single solitary shit about the loyal people who kept Harley alive through the "lean" times.  It really bothered me to say the least.  That is when I began the push to support "the little guy".  Add in the fact that the stellar work and craftsmanship that was coming from these shops was blowing the factory out of the water.  I give anyone a chance to prove me wrong and recently, at least one dealership has done just that.  There is a new Sheriff in town and his name is Dr. Bob Parsons.  This name may ring a bell to you as the man who invented and built Go Daddy.com.  This man is a genius and he loves bikes!  He purchased the old Hacienda Harley and came in with sweeping changes to everything from staff to attitude.  This past Sunday was the grand opening and I got the call last month to see if I wanted to be part of it.  When I heard what I just mentioned to you and so much more, the only answer could be yes.  The kicker was that he was going to throw this party and charge anyone who entered the gates nothing for it!  Talk about a first class move!  The head line act for the night, Bret Michaels!

 For the first time in what seems like years now, Diane felt well enough to come and join me at a show.  Now that I think about it, it is actually damn near a year to the day since she has been at a show of mine!  Many of you know how sick she has been the last few weeks and two days before this show, she suddenly felt amazing.  Look at her face in the pic above, you can see the light back in her eyes and the damn near total lack of pain on her face.  I can't put in to words how happy this has made me.  She ran the camera for a while, hung out back stage for hours and did it all with an ear to ear smile.  Normally, she needs to sit after a short while, but she stood for hours on end without a single complaint!

I hate to admit that I ever make pre conceived judgements on people but I guess we all do.  When you see people on TV, we come to think that we know them, who they are, what they are like and how they act, I guess this is the world we live in.  I was sure that Bret was going to be a dick and I was sure that he was going to be a total "rockstar" and treat people like shit.  I'm not sure why I was so positive about this, I just knew that he would be.  I had not seen Poison since they were mega huge and had never seen the Bret Michaels Band perform so I just didn't have high expectations.  I am proud to admit that I have never been more far off on anything.  The band was amazing, the show fantastic and as far as Bret goes, he COULD NOT HAVE BEEN ANY NICER!  I hate being proven wrong.  I am open to it, but it doesn't mean that I have to like it!

Just to give you an example of what I'm saying, is the photo above.  Diane was tired and sore and her hands were full with all kinds of shit when she tried to take this photo.  She snapped the pic, Bret said thank you to me?  Thank you to me?  Okay, wow, a gentleman too.  He had just finished playing his ass off and was walking back to the bus and was a good 10-15 feet away and Diane said "oh no, it's blurry".  I said "oh well, no big deal" and with that, Bret heard her over all the noise, turned around and said well let's do that again.  Diane said she was sorry and he said don't worry about it, take your time and get the shot!  To me, this was a stand up move on his part for damn certain.

The funny thing is that we ended up on stage together.  I've been joking about us singing a duet together, yes, I was joking.... we did not sing Celine Dion's, My Heart Will Go On.... anyone who thought I was serious should get their friggin heads examined!  I hate Celine Dion!  We really sang Baby Got Back!

So Bret goes off stage, I remain on stage and continue to rock the crowd and keep them fired up.  I look down off the stage to find Diane and she was not there.  She was in the same spot all damn day, where the hell was she?  I would imagine that over the years the question of where is my wife at a Bret Michaels show must have been asked thousands of times.  The obvious answer to the question is, if your wife is missing at one of his shows, she is probably with him!  So I walk off stage and who do I find?  You guessed it!

When I'm working, I like to go out in to the crowd when the head line band goes on, but it was nice to see this show from the wings.  What made it even nicer was that we watched the show with Bret's family.  His daughters, Rain and Georgia I believe were just beautiful.  At one point, Georgia was tired and all she wanted to do was sit down and I was right with her but she would have been crushed.  So I picked her up, carried her over to the speaker stack and placed her on top.  Then mom came over and gave her a juice box.  She thanked me and I asked for some of her juice box, she smiled, laughed and said, I don't think so!  This lil girl was gorgeous!  To me, she looks like a young Dakota Fanning.  Bret's "wife", I call her that because they have been together so long was truly a lovely lady.  She could not have been any nicer or social than she was.  We spoke of how she must be taking really great care of Bret because he looked so healthy.  I said you have to tell Diane what you are feeding him so that I can get a bit healthier myself.  She laughed and said "the reason he looks so good is because I'm NOT feeding him"!  "I DON'T COOK"!  The entire family were dynamite.

To give you an example of how sweet she really is, check this out.  Diane is tiny and I am by no means a big guy, well height wise that is and she is really tall.  She scrunched down while laughing so that the pic would look better and we would all seem like the same height!  It's the simple gestures that people make that show character.  We had a truly nice night!  The event was a massive success and afterwards, we all split down to the Dirty Dogg to party the night away!

So like I said in a previous post, GO AHEAD AND CHANGE MY MIND, I DARE YOU TO.  This is one time in my life that I am truly happy to have been proven wrong!

See you at the Dirty Dogg Saloon this week and we are going to continue to blow this Bike Week up!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Go ahead, change my mind, I dare you!

Well it's here!  Arizona Bike Week that is.  I've been here in Arizona right about 7 1/2 years now and if you add the 2 years or so of coming here every few months on vacation, it boils down to damn near a decade that I have witnessed this "Arizona Bike Week" thing.  I never really understood the concept of it.  The more that I spoke to the people who have been around or those involved in it, everyone seemed to sum it up as a "grab fest"!  Everyone just grabbed whatever they could out of it for themselves without a thought of the greater good of the entire event.  With the way it appears this year, perhaps those days are gone and those involved may actually be working together to make it a honest to God Bike Week.  I am an outsider looking in so this is of course, just my opinion.  One of the major problems that I've always seen is that there is no "main street" type of place where everyone could gather and just park their murder sickle and people watch.  You've got to admit that our lifestyle certainly draws some freaks from the wood work!  There is a place called West World, you probably have heard of it because of the Barrett Jackson Auto Auction that you see every year on the Speed Channel and that is where the bulk of the activities, concerts and chaps shopping are are held.  I've seen a show or two there and it's a good venue, hell, it is just a massive tent in a field, how can you go wrong with that?  The beauty of Arizona is just that, THE BEAUTY and the RIDING and after all, isn't that what this is supposed to be all about?  So get your asses on your bike, go out for a ride, it is going to be in the mid to high 80's all week long.  Ride that road that you've always heard of, meet some like minded folks and go out and make some memories..... and after you have done that, get your ass to the Dirty Dogg Saloon and come have a drink with me.  I'll be hosting all week long there and if you have never been there, all I can say is that you are in for one hell of a pleasant treat! 

So go ahead, change my mind, I dare you!  Show me that we can have a great event in AZ that people leave and go home and tell their friends about and make them want to join us next year! 

Until we see each other on the road again, or at the Dirty Dogg this week.

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I blame it on the WEED!

This blog has been changed from its original posting.  A photo was added as well as an additional paragraph in red.  Thanks!

Hey everyone! I trust all is well for you fine folks that take the time from your lives to share in what is going on in mine.  I've been busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!  I was going to say busier than a One Legged Blonde (my friend Cat) but she is by far much more busy than I, so it really would not have worked there!  I don't know where the time goes and wish that I could grab some of it back and change history, but sadly, I can't, none of us can.  I've gotten all of your messages asking where the hell I was and if Diane and I were okay and just to let you know, we are well and I thank you for them.  It truly does humble me that we have grown in to part of your lives.  Again, thank you.  There were several reasons behind my most recent hiatus from the world wide web and my most recent disappearing act.  The biggest obstacle that I ran in to was that I let my property go to hell!  Those of you who have followed me or this blog for any length of time know that I love to garden and landscape.  It helps take me away from drama or trouble and I clear the cob webs from my mind.  Well I guess the cob webs really got thick because for the longest time, I ignored the property all together.  Whenever I would go outside or see it through the window, I would say to myself, "you better get right on that tomorrow"!  The next day would come and I would have done nothing and this went on for some time!  Finally, I had no choice but to get at it.  The front of my home began to look like a foreclosure and the weeds in the back yard had managed to become chest high!  I've been at them now for a few hours a day for the last 8 or 9 days, maybe even longer, I can't even remember now.

I've also been getting ready, working on Daytona Bike Week and I've been blessed once again to be part of the team over at Jay Allen's, World Famous, Broken Spoke Saloon and I am pumped about it!  It's been far too long since I've seen a great many of you and I think that is what I look forward to most with each of these rallies that I am lucky enough to be part of.  For those of you who are heading to Daytona Bike Week, I can't wait to see you, so make sure you stop on in at the Spoke to say hello.  We've got a Shit Ton planned for you and yes, a Shit Ton, is an actual measurement!  Here is a quick run down of what we have going on, there is so much more and with each day that gets closer to rally time, I will keep you posted and up to date, so then, I'll see you at the Spoke!

Not only do we have great live music and performances, bike shows and builders, actually building live on property as well as hosting a ride to benefit the Wounded Warriors,  but we have something really special planned for you all.  The Spoke will be hosting the one and only, Miss G String International Contest.  This as I understand is something that you don't want to miss and it is going to be an amazing night!

As I was getting my shit together and getting my fat ass ready and in to rally mode, I got a phone call from the one and only Chris Callen of Cycle Source Magazine and was given an amazing opportunity.  I was tasked with writing the "story of" the mag for the 15th anniversary issue!  This was not only to me a great honor but the biggest piece I've ever written in my life.  The real kicker was that this opportunity had been given to me on Wednesday or Thursday, looking back I can't even recall now and the story had to be written, proofed and to ready to be laid out for print by Monday!  The story of writing the story, took on its own life and became its own story.  Watch for that in and of itself on the Cycle Source Magazine's World Report!  I worked until 4 or 5 am each and every day on that story and I believe it is one of my favorite tales I've ever told.  I'm really proud of it!  That issue, the very special 15th anniversary, the biggest issue ever put out by The Source has just now hit the news stands so go on out and grab one while you can!  I look forward to hearing your feedback on it!  That right there ate up days upon days of my life.

 I found out after I posted this original blog last night that the Mag is at its last stop before making it to the news stands.  Those of you who have subscriptions already have their hot little hands on it, for those of you who don't, why not subscribe and you won't have to worry about waiting for it!  Just a thought?

Right after I return from Florida and the Daytona Rally, I catch a few days to rest up and repeat the entire scenario all over again at a different venue!  As you guys know, my home at AZ Bike Week is the one and only Dirty Dogg Saloon up in Scottsdale and I'm honored that they have chosen to have me back!  Thanks to all at the Dogg who never hesitate to make me feel like I am part of the Dogg Family!  When I finally did break "radio silence" and turn my damn computer back on, one of the very first things I saw was this ad for AZ Bike Week and I laughed my ass off!  Each time I see this, I just can't help but smile!

We've had a dear friend in town from Milwaukee to close on what can only be described as "A DREAM HOME" and that was in Diane's exact words, "the hardest deal I've ever been involved in"!  It seems that no matter how well you are positioned, how great your credit or how much you are putting down, banks these days will do anything that they can to NOT GIVE LOANS!  Diane has been in Real Estate now for 15 years which means that I too have been in Real Estate for 15 years by association and I have never seen anything like this!  Too bad for the bank, every hoop that we were asked to jump through, whether they be on fire or tiny lil hoops, we jumped through them!  The deal on this home so amazing, you would almost begin to think that they hoped it would fall through so that someone on that end could grab it up for themselves!  No matter what though, in the end, the home closed, our friend's trip was not a waste and every single day that she has been here, we've all worked our asses off to make happen and know that when she leaves, everything will be either done or ready to be done and the next time they fly in, they will have a spectacular, finished home to chill out in!  At 11pm last night, I stood on the roof top patio of this home and witnessed the most incredible city light views I've ever seen!  We are so happy for them!  I wish you all many happy years and glorious memories in this home!

So the T' Shirt order has been placed and will be in hand by Wednesday for both rallies.  If you have shirts ordered that were not in stock, they will ship before I leave for Florida.  The last two weeks or so have been a non stop run of hard work and persistence and it is all beginning to pay off.  The house looks a lot less like a foreclosure, we can have guests back again without being afraid that they would be bitten by a snake in the back yard, we've done a few good deeds, spent some time with friends old and new, took one afternoon off and rode the hell out of the bike, got an incredible review of the story that I wrote by the very person that I wrote it for and now I get to do what I love more than anything in the world and that is to entertain people and bring some Smiles Across The Miles!  I know a whole bunch of you have sent messages and I am slowly but surely working my way through them.  As I said in a face book post yesterday, if you sent me something of importance or that is time sensitive, please send it again.  I'll try to get them all opened and answered before I leave for Florida.  So now if you still have questions as to why and where I disappeared to for a week, I BLAME IT ON THE WEEDS!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

LIKE A TUMOR ON THE BALLS OF THE WORLD

JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT'S GONE, IT COMES BACK!  You did the right thing, you did the treatments, you rubbed the creams on your sack, you let them blast you with radiation that sent your lil swimmers running for their lives and dying in the furthest reaches of your hairy boys anyway...  and still, that Tumor on your nut sack still re-appears, you just can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try!

 Well in this particular metaphor that I'm spewing out my twisted mind, The World's Nut Sack just happens to be the one and only Dirty Dogg Saloon in Scottsdale, Arizona and

I AM THAT VERY TUMOR!  

The deal is done, the contract signed and my return is set in stone!  Lock up your daughters and lock up your wives, ride them murdersickles over to the Dirty Dogg for the TIME OF YOUR LIVES!  I am back!  I will be hosting AZ Bike Week once again and bringing my own form of insanity back to the Dogg for AZ Bike Week!  Last year was completely insane and I'm looking to not only top that shit this rally but I plan to crush that shit in to submission and make last year look like we spent 8 days at church!  For those of you who are worried about such sinful activity giving you an express ticket through the gates of hell, worry not, for I am an Ordained Minister and will absolve you of all your sins each night at closing time!

So spread the word, JACK SHIT IS BACK at the one and only Dogg!  Make your plans to spend your time losing your mind with us!  I will keep you posted as to what we have in store for you as it gets nailed down.  What I've seen that is already a done deal ROCKS!  Live entertainment each and every day and once again, we will host our Annual Spring Fling on the last Saturday of the Rally!  Last year, the party was mind blowing!  It was the first time in my career that over an hour after we closed down the event, people were still lined up outside along the fence just to say hello, take a picture and thank me for showing them such an incredible time!  I was just stunned by that.

There is nothing on earth that makes me feel better than making people smile, NOTHING!  I plan to bring an ever loving fuck ton of smiles to you fine fuckers this rally!  So I will see you there, tell your friends and come hang out with me at the WORLD FAMOUS, DIRTY DOGG SALOON!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit