Absolute Proof That The World Is Being Poisoned

A GREAT MANY OF YOU HAVE ONLY JUST BEGUN TO FOLLOW THIS BLOG RECENTLY AND I WANTED TO PERSONALLY WELCOME YOU ALL!  I ALSO WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU!

To be quite frank with you, I am still humbled each time you guys send me a message or leave me a comment or post up on face book about how something that I have written has touched you, inspired you are my very favorite, made you stop and think!

As a Comedian, my original intention was to tell you a funny story each day about something that inevitably happens to me virtually every time I leave the house.  Worse case scenario is I could pull great stories from my past that I really never got to share with the masses and tell those to friends who weren't there to experience them.  We all know that this is not what this blog has become.  Each time I decide to write, I have an idea, a moment of inspiration and I turn on the old lap top and start to put my thoughts down.  Some how, some way, I never end up writing what it was that I set out to do.  This post is the perfect example of that!

For those of you who have a blog you may or may not know that there is a function called stats!  When you click on that you can't believe the information that is there.  Not only how many times your blog has been viewed, but how many times each post has been viewed and it's broken up from NOW, TODAY, WEEK, MONTH AND ALL TIME.  It also shows you how it was viewed by windows, mac, ipad, iphone and on and on.  Which browser was used to track you down and view the page and other amazing info.  I have to admit that my absolute favorite feature is called Audience.  You can view the details exactly the same way, but it tells you where your blog is being viewed.  Each day I watch it like a hawk and I get as excited as a pedophile at a Chuck E. Cheese!  Because of you guys viewing this blog, re posting it, sharing it with your friends or linking it to your other pages, MY BLOG IS NOW BEING VIEWED IN 56 COUNTRIES around the world!  I did have a reader briefly in Iran and I have never heard from her again.  She told me how very much she loved it, how she could not wait to see what I would write next and how she longed for the freedom that we have here in America with things as simple as sharing a thought!  THEN SHE WAS JUST GONE!  Iran was the 57th country!

I am honored and stunned that you fine folks have taken to my writing the way you have and I give you my word that I will keep it coming as honestly and completely uncensored as the day I began this whole blog "thing".  For those of you who are new, I'll make this short again.  When I began what is now about a little over 5 months ago, I made a deal with myself!  I would work hard and work honestly at making the blog a success!  The deal was that if in one year's time, I had 20 followers and 1000 page views, I would continue on with the blog.  During the third week of March, for 6 days, my page view counter froze and stopped working, by the time it was working again, I lost the page views that are forever lost in the world wide web and you know what?  IT MADE ME FUCKING NUTS!  I love to do this now!  Well just shy of 6 months in, I have exceeded the goal I had set for myself with followers by 5 times + and I have exceeded the goal that I had set for myself with page views by 20 times +!  20,000 page views +, 56 countries and 110 followers and we have only just begun and I owe it all to you guys, my friends.  I can't thank you enough for the inspiration that you guys have given to me!  

Not only do I thank you, but my wife thanks you as well!  Why you ask?  Because if it were not for me being worried about letting you guys down by not posting, I would be speaking all of this insanity in my wife's ear instead of poisoning the world with it!  So on behalf of my wife's hearing, patience and sanity, I thank you once again.  The funny part is that I have written all of this and have yet to scratch the surface of my life, my experiences or my mind!  The truly crazy part is that this is "my down time".  Idle hands are those of the devil!  I have so much life to live, so many great things planned for this upcoming spring and summer and I promise, I won't let you down!  So stick with me, share this with your friends and know that I will be eternally grateful to you for taking your precious time to read the insane ramblings of a certified lunatic!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Not at all what I expected!

As I sit here tonight on my leather couch, ass sweating and my nuts cooking from having the note book resting on my lap, I began to reflect on my recent past, I am blown away with the direction that my life has gone and the changes that have taken place.  Things are so very strange these days.  I met a guy a few years back and thought this prick is one of the most miserable bastards that I have ever met.  Now I talk to that prick constantly and he has become one of the dearest friends that I have ever had....  maybe you know the mean ass bastard that I am speaking of.  He is one of the most talented painters that I have ever met.  He is also the subject of one of my favorite shots that I captured last year while riding across the desert.  Do you know the guy in that picture above?  If you don't, perhaps you should..... if you can get past his wall!

It seems that just when you think that you have figured it all out and know exactly what you want, what you need and where you are heading, you end up with some thing completely different, don't need what you thought and find yourself standing in a place that you could never imagine.  I am standing in that very spot right this moment.  I was lucky enough to have some amazing people come in to my life and I guess with hindsight being 20/20, lucky enough to have some not so amazing people leave it.  The person in the above photo is some one that I thought I would never again give the time of day to and he is now my family and the flip side of that coin is that there are people that I considered to be family that turned out to have wiped us from their lives like you would wipe shit off of your shoe on the curb.  I will forever be confused with people's ability to just use people up and spit them out.  The thought of treating some one like that is just plain inconceivable to me.  I have learned to look at that as a blessing though because each time some one like that does that to us, it makes room for some one to fill that void and perhaps that some one holds a missing piece of life's puzzle.  Does that sound crazy to you guys?  Perhaps the universe whispers in the ear of that scumbag and says, "hey, why don't you fuck Jack and Diane over real good today" and they listen to the universe and do it.  Then the universe whispers in my ear, "Jack, why don't you give that grumpy bastard a chance and let him in" and I listen to the universe and I do it!  As only the universe would know, it was the right decision!  I have listened to the universe and I have given up on trying to figure out the "evil that men do" and just face each day knowing that I have never fucked any one over and never will!  Knowing that you never have to second guess yourself or look back and wonder if what you did was wrong is liberating and it allows you to open your heart. 

Once you have gotten past all that "wondering why someone would do what they did" you are free to just live your life and take it as it comes at you.  I won't lie to you and tell you that when some one hurts us that we don't feel it or that when some one cuts us, we don't bleed because we do.  It's just that I have learned to grin and bear the pain and I have learned how to quickly put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding!  Life can be a son of a bitch and if you allow yourself to dwell on the bad, you will never see the good coming your way and it will pass you while your back is turned.  All things for a reason is what Diane always tells me!  No matter what we face, no matter what happens, no matter how horrible, she just looks me in the eye and says "baby, all things for a reason"!  Over the last 25 years, I have come to know that she is almost always right.  I say almost because there is no damn way that I am going to say she is always right because you can bet your ass that she is not!  Now I don't want you to think that because I posted GTP's pics at the top of this post that the punch line is going to be that he screwed us over..... far from it!  The reason I posted his ugly ass up at the top of this blog is because it was a phone call from him yesterday that got me to thinking about all this shit and I give credit where credit is due!  Usually George just makes you think of different ways that you want to mess with him, or different ways that you know you can light his fuse but two days ago that miserable old prick got me to thinking about life and the people that I surround myself with.... who would have done thunk it?  GTP an inspiration to more than a Denny's waitress.... that is an inside joke that maybe one day if you know George, he will tell you about or maybe one day when he finishes that damn book he is writing you can read about and cringe as I did! 

I've come to grips with each day that passes that I have one less day to make a difference in the world!  With each day that I face I wonder if today is a day that I will?  This post began because I was looking at a shit ton of pics from the last 18 months or so.  I was going to do a quick post and fill it with pics of some of the sickest scoots and hot rods that I have seen over that time period and I have some great shots too, but as I sat down, picked up the notebook and once again began to broil my balls, the post took on a life of it's own.  I realized that I had hung up on my friend Adam and told him that I would call him right back because the girls were watching American Idol and I was annoying them on the phone.  Then I realized that I had forgotten to call him back and then I realized that I forgot to call George back last night.  I started writing what I thought would be a brief intro in to a photo filled post but couldn't shake the thought of George's last phone call and this is where I ended up.  I never have any idea of what I am going to write when I begin and nearly every time I finish, I realize that it has virtually nothing to do with what my original idea was.... and here is the perfect example. 

All that I can say to you is what my next tattoo across my chest is going to say, CARPE DIEM, SEIZE THE DAY!  Let life happen without having to worry if it is going as planned because as my amazing wife always says "all things for a reason".  We may not know what the reason is, but fuck it folks, just roll with it and see where it takes you.  It has taken me to amazing places, like right here, right now!  Well my balls are nearly done now, I have to take the notebook off and let them cool a bit before serving them so I will say goodbye for now!  Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

So I guess for at least some time he really was COOL!

I ALWAYS KNEW THAT THERE WAS A REASON THAT I KEPT MY FONZIE PILLOW CASE UNTIL I WAS 29 YEARS OLD!  AT ONE POINT THE FONZ REALLY WAS FUCKIN COOL!

A good friend sent me this last night.  He did all the research based on a bet he had with a friend.  I don't remember the first episodes of Happy Days, maybe I missed them, who knows?  I did always remember The Fonz riding a "small" bike, certainly not a bad ass big twin....  To be completely honest, I thought the Fonz rode an early Sporty, I was wrong on all accounts with the exception of the "small" bike.  As it turns out, The Fonz throughout most of the series rode a Triumph and not a Harley.  But, as proven last night by my friend Joey Chop Chamberlain, at the beginning, The Fonz rode this 47 Knuck!  Well, allow me to re phrase that.  The Fonz sat on a 47 Knuck.  Apparently it was too difficult for The Fonz to kick start and too big to ride and he was too scared and that is why they switched him to a Triumph.... Who knew that the one and only Arthur Fonzarelli was a chicken shit pansy?  Certainly not me.... at least up until I was 29 years old.  I can't tell you how many girls that got to see my Fonzie Pillow.  They all thought it was cute!  CUTE?  How dare you use such a term when speaking of THE FONZ!  Cute, no!  Cool, yes! 

I would like to say it was because of Fonzie that I ride the same 47 Knuck, but that would in fact be lying to you and you guys no damn well that I will never ever do that to ya!  I will say that in my time, I have tried to punch and pound a few juke boxes in to playing a song for me and all that ever did was get me a really sore hand and tossed out of a few bars! 

As a matter of fact, with all this Happy Days reminiscing, I may have the little woman dress up like Pinky Tuscadero tonight and we will have some Happy Days ourselves.  Then tomorrow I'll have her dress up like Leather, from Leather and the Suedes.... ah hell, I'll ask if she can have a friend join in and I can finally live out the fantasy of banging Joanie when she joined the Suedes and was going to leave to go on tour with the band.  I would wrap a bandanna around my thigh like Chachi but even then, as a child, I didn't think he was all that cool and seeing what an asshole he turned out to be in real life now, I know I made the right choice.

All I can say in closing is that although I never got to see nearly as many "chicks" as Fonzie did, both myself and my Fonzie Pillow Case sure did our very best to try and nail as many as we could.  Looking back, right now, I really wish I still had that pillow case.  Long live THE FONZ!

Finally, here is one last thought for you all.  How old were you when you realized that The Fonz wasn't just kissing all of those girls?  I think I was 29!

After the initial post of this blog, a friend sent me another photo and I just felt that I had to add to it!  Sorry for cheating and changing a blog from it's original post... but hey, this is different, it's THE FONZ!

Till we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I live in a Nursing Home Now

People always say that there is nothing in life that you can count on!  I completely and totally disagree with that statement.  Allow me to offer you an example; you can count on there being no justice in the justice system, you can count on lawyers being greedy, self serving bastards and you can absolutely count on the bank fucking you over when it comes to doing the right thing by you or the wrong thing that benefits them!  Just as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, I hold the above statements to be gospel truth.  Afford me a few minutes of your time to tell you how I ended up living in a nursing home!

They say that product knowledge is everything.  Well many of you know but some may not, my angel of a wife is a Realtor.  For a decade, back in New Jersey, she was a ten time agent of the year, top sales agent, top listing agent, top marketing agent and in her first year, rookie of the year.  In her office alone, there were 286 agents and she was number one, year after year after year and she made me very proud.  When we decided to move to AZ full time we were flush with cash, the market was booming and life was good with the exception of the pain I live with daily and her battle with MS.  We found the home that you see in the above photo and bought it right up.  To show you how good of a realtor my wife is, while sitting on our couch in New Jersey, we beat a guy who wanted to purchase the same home as we did in AZ and he lived across the street.  From 3 thousand miles away, she kicked the local realtor and neighbors ass!  That's my girl!  Not long after we moved in, the bubble burst and real estate imploded upon itself.  Who's to blame, who knows, who's not to blame, all these greedy sons o bitches had a part in it!  We had no idea that the market would get toe tagged and it was truly over, we like so many thought it would be a year or so, things would level off and everyone would be okay.  We all know that didn't happen.  Being so knowledgeable, when they started to offer home loan modifications we put in for one, why not right?  We weren't making the money we once were, we had huge medical expenses and we didn't want to lose our home, we wanted to keep it and just re vamp the loan.  No biggie right?  Hell the government gave our bank, Countrywide like 100 billion dollars to do just that!  So we filed our paper work and waited.  We were told that under no circumstances were we to make any payments until they decided if we would get the modification.  Really, how awesome!  Well after months and months of waiting, our file had just about got to the top of the pile and then Bank of America bought Countrywide (with the money they were supposed to use to help homeowners) and we went back to the bottom of the pile.  We called them and they said not to worry, just don't make any payments and we will let you know the status.  Really?  Okay! 

We called again, spoke to the woman in charge of our file and asked her, this has been going on a real long time, we don't want to come home and find out that while you are telling us not to make any payments that you go ahead and foreclose on us.  OH NO SIR, THAT CAN NEVER HAPPEN ALL IS GOOD!  Well thank God for that.  Within two months of that call, we get a package in the mail, it is our loan modification but there are some errors in the paperwork.  We tell them and they say no worries, we will re do the package and get it back to you, please continue to hold off on making any payments until we give you your new payment amount and it is processed.  Two more months go past and we are really getting nervous.  Now being in the business we know that when you are dealing with a bank, YOU WILL TAKE IT IN THE ASS, BONE DRY WITHOUT THE COURTESY OF EVEN GETTING A REACH AROUND!  We had family moving out to AZ so we began to look for houses that we could heaven forbid all live in just in case the bank stuck it to us.  We found a home in Mesa, AZ and bought it.  Worse case scenario, we would fix it up and flip it if need be.  We called and spoke to the same girl and asked her the same questions and she said sir, you have nothing to worry about.  First we set an auction date if a home is to be foreclosed on and I am looking at your file, there is no auction date.  Really?  Okay?  So each and every day, I went to the house in Mesa and began renovating it.  The home was an assisted living home, a nursing home!  It had 7 bedrooms, an apartment for staff and was nearly 4 thousand square feet of lingering old people stench.  I am sure the old folks living there were quite surprised when the bank tossed them out on the street too as we bought it as a foreclosure sale.  The following day, we get our new package from the bank, first payment do February 26th, I believe.  Well on February 9th I come home from working on the Mesa house and my garage door battery died.  I walked around to the front door to find a note stapled to the door.  Here is what the note said.
YOUR PROPERTY IS IN OUR HOME, REMOVE IT IMMEDIATELY.  WE PURCHASED THIS PROPERTY AT AUCTION IN DECEMBER, YOU MUST VACATE NOW!

We have an approved loan modification and the first payment is not even do yet.  The reason the girl could not find an auction date or any other notes about the property is because the property, our home, had long since been sold to an investment company at auction.  No notice, no warning, no nothing but letters telling us that our loan modification is being considered, please hold off on making any payments until the decision is made.  We call the phone number on the note and they tell us to vacate the property within 48 hours!  At this point Diane and I have been together for 23 years + and we have accumulated a lot of stuff.  Move out in 48 hours or the Sheriff will put us out.  PUT US OUT OF OUR FUCKING HOME?  I could not believe it.  We spoke to the guy, told him of our situation and of course he didn't give a shit, but he was kind enough to give us 7 days.  So now in the middle of renovating the other home, I am now moving everything I own in to it.  So we went from living in our dream home atop the mountain, to living in a nursing home!  We called the bank and they said, "wow, we are really sorry, we are not sure how this mix up occurred".  "There is nothing we can do about it, you have lost your home"!  HOLY SHIT, had we not had the foresight to know that Bank of America would absolutely screw anyone over at the drop of a hat if there was a penny in it for them we would literally be homeless right now! 

So now I live in a nursing home that is about 80% fixed up.  I managed to get the smell of the old or dead people out thank God.  Every now and again, while I am working around the house, someone puts their hand on my shoulder as if to say, nice job Jack and when I turn around, there is no one there!  This has happened 5 times now and when it happens these days, I no longer even bother to turn around and look because I know that no one will be there!  We took the 7 bedrooms, turned it in to 4 and kept the apartment.  To add insult to injury, while I was doing the work, moving out of the old house and trying to figure the whole thing out, my in laws moved in from Florida along with my wife's crazy ass lunatic uncle!  You know what happened now?  That's right, I bought a nursing home, turned it back in to a regular home and within one month of living there, it turned right back in to a FUCKING NURSING HOME AGAIN!  Some days I just want to go in the garage, start the car and leave the garage door closed but I can no longer afford the Gasoline to do it!

In case you are in any way, shape or form interested, I am going to drop in a few before and after pics, don't mind the orbs in some of them, some of the Nursing home residents still don't want to leave and hey, I'm not going to kick anyone out of their home!

There was a tiny little Galley Kitchen that serviced the entire house.  Blew that out!

The great room and kitchen were divided by these built in oak cabinets, blew them out.

This is where the cabinets and the kitchen were before.

I am now standing where those oak cabinets and shelves were previously

Two shitty aluminum sliding doors and paper thin single pane glass, blew that out!

We put in three sets of french doors so that on really nice days, we can do this.......

..... and that is all for now, I don't want to waste your time with a bunch of home renovation pics, I just want you to know that there is always room for you at the Shit Family Nursing and Rehab center.  So whether you are hurt or not, old or young, human or animal and hell, alive or dead, c'mon over and stay with us, there is always room.  The best part is that when I get old, I won't even have to leave my own house to get put in to a nursing home!  I guess you can say, I got it made!

I have finally figured out exactly how to win at the bike show!

THE BEST WAY TO WIN, IS TO NOT EVEN ENTER!  AT LEAST THAT IS HOW I DO IT!

It's been forever, or well at least it seems like forever since just me and my girl hopped on the bike and just took a ride.  I had told my buddy that I would get up early, yes, me, get up early.  I know it's like telling you that I saw a unicorn while riding a lightning bolt holding my 14 inch penis in my golden fist.... IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT IT'S TRUE!  I did it!  I went to bed at 2:30 am and got up at 8:30 am and hopped right up and out of bed, it's virtually unheard of for me!  I let the dogs out, got my shit together and did it all super quiet so not to wake up the lil woman.  I took the bike out of the garage and rolled it in to it's pre trip spot on the driveway.  I noticed that Bean're was already gone, that sneaky, sneaky bastard!  I began to gather all the things I normally need to go for a ride and realized I didn't need shit, it's already 86 degrees out and spectacular!  I need sunglasses and my wallet, man I love Arizona!

I'll never just hop on the bike without saying goodbye because, hey, you never know what can happen, riding these things can be pretty dangerous and it may be my last ride.  I want that last kiss good bye.... and ya never know, I may get lucky and wake her up in the middle of one of those "special dreams" and reap the rewards.... I woke her up with my traditional "HEY SUGAR TITS, YOU AWAKE"?  No, I'm sleeping.... You want to go to the swap meet with me?  NO!  You want to take a ride on the bike with me and go to the swap meet?  YES!  Well I'm supposed to be there at 10am, it's 10:07 now, how fast can you be ready?  10:30.... and sure as shit, the time came and she was ready to go.... Why is it that every other time it takes 3 times as long?  So we hopped on the bike and took a ride to Phoenix to the Shriner's swap meet.

We pulled in to the swap meet and broke each and every single rule that they had.  Guys in orange vests would wave left and we would go right.  They would point for us to park and we would keep on going.  I rode right up and in to the swap meet and parked under virtually the one and only tree!  PERFECT!  As we rode in and parked, I looked up to see Brother Adam, Keith Cole, Elvis and Bean're not 15 feet away from us!  I got off the bike, turned off the petcock and walked over.  As I walked over Keith Cole was on his phone and said here man, listen to this message, it's about you.  ABOUT ME?  Ut oh, who did I piss off now?  On the other end leaving a message was the one and only Milwaukee Mike and he was calling from the Woodstock Swap Meet oddly enough, but he was in Wisconsin!  He had found everything that I need to make the fxr in to a full blown mile melting machine and had it all for a sick price!  Wow, what a day already.  I got my girl on the back of the bike, my friends by my side, and motorcycle parts coming my way without even having to ask!  I give him back the phone and realize that I forgot my smokes in the saddle bag.  I looked across the lot, all 20 feet of it now and I see something hanging from my bike.  What the fuck is that?  Who would walk up and have the audacity to hang something on some one's bike?  Talk about just plain rude!  I am not on the property for 5 minutes and some jerkoff is hanging shit on my bike!  As I walked towards it I started to make it out.  Is that a ribbon?  NO, can't be.... it couldn't have been Bean're getting pay back for me putting the I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, NO STRINGS ATTACHED, NO QUESTIONS ASKED NOTE IN HIS SADDLE BAG, could it?  Nah, he was standing right next to me, he couldn't have gotten over there and back that fast!  I soon found out what it was.....

This Photo was not in the original post but a friend sent it to me.  This is what I found when I walked up to the bike.  I just laughed my ass off and shook my head and thought, SO THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!

I WON!  I WON!  I WON THE PARKING LOT AWARD!  I dont' know what it is or how it got on my bike.  While I walked over to my bike, so many people were standing around it that I thought it was on fire or something.  They were taking pics and pointing to shit, I had no idea what was going on.  I guess one of those fine folks named me parking lot winner!  First time ever.  So I guess the BEST WAY to win at the BIKE SHOW is to simply NOT ENTER IT!  I just walked over, shook my head, smiled for a few pics, grabbed my smokes and walked back over to my friends laughing.  They asked what was going on over there and I simply said, I think I won a parking lot but I'm not sure?  How can this day get any better?  I got my girl, my friends and now I won a parking lot!  I wonder what I will do with it.  It is close to the airport, maybe I'll use it as a park and fly, hell, maybe I'll open up a shuttle service too!  It can't get any better than this right?  Wrong....

Within just a few minutes of being at the swap, I ran in to some more friends.  The guys from Foundry Moto were there and they were offering up some of their fine Harley parts for sale.  We all shook hands and hugged and I said how good it was to see them and they said thank you for writing such a great piece about their party.  I said well thank you for throwing such a great party, I could not write any thing but great stuff about it because it was hands down the best party that I had been to in two years.  By the way, how much is that sporty fender right there?  Why, you don't have a sporty?  NO, but I have an FXRS now and I need that fender so that I can move the tail light back to where it belongs so I can put saddle bags on it to use it as my touring bike.  Well that fender is on special today for special customers, for you Jack, it's free!  Get out of here, really?  Wow!  I was blown away.  The only thing is, the tail light on that is busted.  Oh that's okay, thank you so much.  With that, I am handed a tail light to replace it.  Really?  FXR you say, you don't happen to need stock side covers do you?  Actually, yes I do!  What kind of mirrors do you have on it?  Well actually, I don't have any mirrors, I need mirrors too.  Foundry Moto, your one stop shop!  Okay, what do I owe you guys....?  Nothing!  Are you kidding me, really?  They were dead serious, they loaded me up with parts to get me on the road for no other reason than the fact that we were friends.  That is what it's all about folks, pay it forward.....

As I walked around I said to Diane, shit, my camera is on my bike, I want to take a few pics.  So I ran back to the bike and who do I see over by it?  Joey Chopper Chamberlain and what a surprise it was.  We too shook hands and checked on what each were up to and he said, "hey, you think you can get those saddle bags home on that"?  Sure can, why, you got em with ya?  Sure do, I'll be right back, I got to go grab em.  Well I'll be right back too, meet you right here at the bike.  I ran over to Diane, gave her the camera and said I'll be right back.  Joey had gotten a set of bags for me to help me get on the road faster than waiting for the bags that I need.  Sure as shit, I go back to the bike and sitting next to it are this kick ass set of leather bags.  He gives me the once over on how they work and shakes my hand.  We had made a deal for them.  He would give me the bags and we would go have coffee, only problem is, I don't drink coffee, so I said you come over and I'll make you and your lovely wife dinner.  I still haven't gotten him to commit to that one, I think he is afraid if he comes over, BEAN'RE will do the cooking.  I assured him that it would be me, but he was still not ready to sign up for this end of the bargain! 

There was no way that I could get my treasure trove of swap meet "gifts" back home on my bike, not without my girl trying to hold on to it all on the freeway at 80 so brother Adam said he would go get the truck and load it up for us.  Thank you my friend, I'll go with you.  Don't sweat it man, I'll go get the truck, why carry it all.  I'll meet you over at the Foundry guys in a few minutes.  Done deal!  So we went back over to our friends from Foundry and being the true gentlemen that they are, they promptly offered up the most kick ass folding chair that I have ever seen for Diane to sit and get out of the now BLAZING sun!

So Adam went and got the truck, I got to get my angel out of the sun before the ride home and got to hang with my boys from Foundry for a little while longer.  The last time that I got to see them was at the party and spending quality time that night was hardly possible, so it was cool to just hang for a bit and bullshit.

As far as the swap meet goes, well, it was small, there was some cool shit there but nothing truly great and the stuff that was worth having was of course way over priced.  There was a honda elsinore 125 from 1977 that looked as if it had never been ridden and that brought back a flood of childhood memories of running from the cops.  Oh to be a kid again!  In the end though, it was truly a great day.  I got to take a bad ass chopper for a great ride with a beautiful girl on the back.  I got to enjoy a spectacular Arizona day with great friends and we talked bikes and bike shit.  I left with arms full of parts that great friends all kicked up to the cause and once again proved that bikers are truly the most generous people on earth!  I came home, cleaned up the big ass king / queen seat that I picked up when I got Diane's xs650 yesterday and ate some left over PF Changs food from the night the car broke down!  I can't say it was the perfect day, but I can say it was damn near close to it.  Once again allow me to say, no rather SCREAM, that I am blessed to have not only the greatest friends any one person can ask for, but I got a smokin hot ol' lady to share it all with! 

Till I see you on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit