I'M LIKE THE FRIGGIN HORSE WHISPERER

ROBERT REDFORD LOOK OUT MAN, JACK SHIT IS COMING FOR YOUR TITLE!  Or your name or whatever the hell that role was that you played in the movie was I'm not sure but apparently it looks like I got me some mad skills when it comes to communicating with the horses!  In this particular case I was saying no so kind things about this lovely rescued horse named Chica!  When my friend Chopper Doll found this horse she was starving and 3/4's on her way to certain death!  Well I should have said our friend Chopper Doll because I'm sure she is probably your friend too!  Anyway, to make a long story short, it had been a long time since we were out her way in Cali and I had yet to see the ranch where she keeps both of her RESCUED horses!  The other horse, Memo, was in even worse shape and to add insult to the starvation issue, this horse had been beaten and abused as well.  When I first saw the photos of these horses I could not wrap my head around how anyone could do this to such amazing creatures.  Well after starving and literally having to fight for food, these two are fattened up and living like rock stars but old habits are hard to break and this beautiful blonde here, Chica, has not forgotten about having to fight for food and she still wants to eat anything that is put in front of her..... and anything that is put in front of any other horse or goat or chicken or..... well you get my drift!  The work our dear friend has put into this property is incredible and I give her kudos and two thumbs up for the near unbelievable job she did in saving these two horses from their horrible lives or really, what was left of them.

While there I was so amazed at how beautiful the property was coming along and even more amazed at how great the horses looked, I took out my phone and began to record video and of course, I was commenting on it.  Those of you who don't know me allow me to fill you in on this tidbit of info;  I'm known for my ridiculous commentary when the camera is on, it's as if I forget that I'm holding the damn thing and no one, including myself ever knows what is going to come out of my mouth so for years any time something needed to be recorded, everyone just handed me the camera hoping for another moment of me putting my foot in my mouth or my head up my ass!  Today, the only one to take exception to my commentary was Chica the horse.  She was not at all impressed with me or the thoughts that I was conveying!  So take a look at the video, it really is pretty damn funny and I would bet my ass on the fact that if I had every horse treat known to man, I could not have gotten this horse to do this with such impeccable timing!  It's short, only about a minute and a half so I hope you enjoy it.  I'll drop the link in below so all you have to do is click on it.

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Jack Shit the horse pisser off!

A DAY IN THE BEAR'S DEN

HERE IS YET ANOTHER POST THAT HAS BEEN CHANGED FROM ITS ORIGINAL FORMAT.  I ALWAYS SAY IF I MAKE A MISTAKE I'LL OWN UP TO IT AND IF I CAN, I'LL FIX IT.  A FRIEND BROUGHT A MISTAKE THAT I MADE TO MY ATTENTION SO I AM CORRECTING IT.  IT WILL BE IN BRIGHT RED BELOW.  

Every now and again, you hear a story about some hapless soul who wandered into a bear's den and ended up becoming bear shit because they were eaten by the bears.  Here is a tale of a similar event with a much different outcome.  In this particular case, the hapless souls were not eaten by the bear but rather, both the bear and its girl fed those crazy enough to walk into the den.  How is this possible you may be asking yourself right now?  If you think that shit sounds strange, imagine this....  THE BEAR SERVED VEGETARIAN CHILI!  Are you confused yet?  Well let me straighten this sorted tale out for you.

As we are quickly approaching the end of this monumental nightmare of a year for so many, myself included, I began to think back on the events of the year, the people that I was either blessed or cursed to have shared it with, what I've done right and what I've done oh so wrong and I was left wondering where this next year would lead me.  While reflecting on this years progression, aggression and some of my transgressions, I could not help but stew a little bit in the bad and marinate a little bit in the good.  It does however seem that with all the bad that we face in our lives, for the first year in a great many years, the good far outweighed the bad and for that I'll be eternally grateful.  I know, I know, what the fuck am I talking about?

One of the highlights of the year for me was once again hosting the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally at The World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon.  I love this gig for so many reasons and oddly enough the reasons that I don't enjoy the gig are often the same.  Let me give you an example of how this is even possible.  One of the things I love the most about hosting rallies is getting to see friends from all over the world when they come to visit and party and one of the things that saddens me the most is not getting to spend any real time with them.  A minute here, sharing a shot there or a few minutes at the end of the night before we make our plan for how to make our guests happy the next day.  So even though my face lights up when I get to see these friends, I can't help but to frown a bit as I watch them all ride away or head back to camp to party for I still have work to do.  I won't complain about it, I would not trade it for anything but no one says I have to be happy about it either.  Because my birthday always falls during the Sturgis rally, my wedding anniversary falls during the Laughlin River Run, Diane's birthday falls during Daytona Bike Week and so on, we are forced to celebrate these events on different dates and that's okay too.   One of the things we do as many of you may remember comes after Sturgis.  When I get home, I sleep for damn near a week and then Diane and I jump on the bike and we head off to California for some much needed rest and relaxation and we go and visit our friend Chopper Doll.

We had been posting on Facebook about our trip between us and a friend added onto the thread.  Asking when we were coming out etc.  As it turns out, this friend was not even a 30 minute ride from her house.  We called up, found out when he'd be around, made plans and headed off to visit.  I figured hey, it's right down the street and I didn't get to spend any time with him in Sturgis, why not go visit now for a few minutes.  Well minutes turned into hours and we went from just stopping by to receiving the royal treatment.  Not only were we welcomed with open arms and big hugs but we got to tour the entire place.  We even got to go into the "no cameras allowed" museum that boasts a treasure trove of chopper history and then sat down to watch a short film of him at the Harley Davidson Museum.  As the hours passed by, we thought for sure we were intruding but we were assured that we were not.  Not only were we not intruding, but the Mrs. was heading down to the shop to make dinner for everyone.  We just kind of all looked at each other wondering if this was really happening?  "Will you stay for dinner" we were asked and of course, our answer was absofuckinlootely!  I wandered around the shop looking at pieces of history, projects a plenty in different stages of completion and the sweet smell of Turkey chili cooking away on the stove.  I WAS INFORMED THAT TURKEY IS NOT A VEGETABLE AND THEREFORE CAN'T BE CONSIDERED VEGETARIAN CHILI!  Have you guys figured out who I'm talking about yet?  This day was a day that I won't soon forget and I had held off on sharing this story here or running it in Cycle Source and I thought what the hell, I'll share it with you guys.  We were treated so kindly by this legend of the bike world.  The stories that were shared with us were incredible and informative.  Things I thought that I knew were so very wrong and in-fact, I didn't know shit compared to the facts in a few cases.  We got to hop around on his bikes and in a split second, Diane was hooked and was sure that she now needed a 20 over front end on her next bike.  He just kept saying, go ahead, sit on it, feel the bars and turn the wheel in any direction and watch what happens and when we did we were amazed.  I wanted Diane to have the full "real deal feel of being in the wind" on the bike so as she sat on it, feet up on the pegs, I blew air into her face to blow her hair back.  Well here, see for yourself.

Diane didn't have the decency to do the same for me and I had to pretend that I was rolling down the road on one of these pieces of history and just imagine that it was just a day with very little wind.  Are you recognizing the shop yet?

As you can see in the pic, this is one happy girl and you can see the wheels in her head turning, thinking about how cool she is going to be running down the road with that front end poking a half mile out in front of her.

The truly observant will have figured out just whose shop we are in right now and if you look closely, you can just peek through the door of the "museum", but since you can't really see anything, I figured it was okay to share this photo.  Well I'm thinking that once I share the next photo you are going to know exactly where we were so here goes.

So now you have it!  The man who was so kind to open up his shop to us, stop working all together, deal with my stupid questions, give us the grand tour and take us all on a walk down memory lane for the TRUE history of the chopper and then after it all invite us to stay for dinner is the one and only Sugar Bear!  The reason you see the ladder standing behind us is because there was no way on earth that I was leaving there without a Sugar Bear shirt and neither was Diane or Chopper Doll so Bear pulled out the ladder and went digging for us.  Hell, if all he did to welcome us wasn't enough, we then made him pose for silly pics with us and he could not have been any more gracious than he was.  The man is a gentleman, an icon and a legend who has held true to what he believes in from the moment he began in this industry and has never wavered.  A true testament to standing behind what you make is by sticking to what you know and as far as I know, no one on earth makes a better, badder, cooler front end than my friend Sugar Bear!

 If it wasn't enough for us to make him pose for pics, it then became, okay, stay there Bear, we have to switch places and photographers and he just laughed and waited for us to get set and take the pics.

After meeting so many people at rallies, on the road or friends who run Sugar Bear front ends there is one thing I hear each and every single time and that is "I'd never want another front end as long as I live, there is nothing on earth like it"!!!  If you have not heard of Sugar Bear, where the hell have ya been?  If you want to see more of this legend, just google him or go on youtube and search "history of the chopper" and you too will learn some things you would have never even imagined!

I didn't get the chance to go to the Bear's Den at the Broken Spoke Campground in Sturgis for the BBQ during the rally but I did finally get to sit down and break bread or well in this case, tortilla chips with a legend and this was hands down one of the very best highlights of my year!  I am not sure how to spell his beautiful wife's name, I believe it is Fugi and it sounds like it would be spelled Fuji so I mean no disrespect if I've gotten it wrong.  Thank you so much for taking a few bikers into your home and making us feel so warm and welcome and like we had been friends for 30 years!  This is one class act and from the bottom of my heart, thank you again Bear! IT IS SPELLED FUJI!

So you all see it is possible to safely go into the Bear's Den and not be eaten but be fed instead!  Everyday we go out and we make memories, some good, some bad, but regardless, we have to go out and make them, they shape us into the people we become!  On days when I'm feeling down or laying around in brutal pain, I'll be able to look back on 2012's post Sturgis trip and remember just how great it all was, especially this day in the Den!  Thanks again Bear and FUJI!  Thanks for snapping the pics Chopper Doll and for putting up with your late sleeping house guests!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit

Sometimes you just need a damn break, no matter how short it is!

So I loaded up the Pickle Sickle and kept my promise!  I had told Diane that when I returned home from Sturgis, we would hop on the bike and I would take her to California.  She has been working so very hard for so very long and has not had a break in what seems like forever!  With the pressure of constantly working and worrying about how to bring in the next buck.  When you are in Real Estate these days, it doesn't matter how great at it you are, it is a crazy fickle market and buyers are not beating down your door, you have to hunt them down and she is the great Italian Hunter!  When you are use to traveling like we always have, not taking a vacation for a while really makes you miss getting away.  So the plan was on and I have to give her credit for sticking to it.  In order to beat the heat, you must leave the Valley of the Sun by 5am at the very latest to cross the desert or you will wish you were dead!  I knew after only a few hours of sleep, waking her was going to be the most difficult part of the entire trip.  I got up nearly an hour early and at 3 am I was double checking the pack and the bike.  I told her that she had to be up and at it by 4 am, not a minute later.  I feared having to wake her!  I came back to the bedroom at 4:01 to hear the shower running and see her bouncing around, man, she really did need to get away! 

We pulled out late of course but at least we were on the road just after 5 am.  We jammed across the desert for all the Pickle Sickle was worth and even as the temps rose, not a single complaint from my girl.  We were off to Southern California to see our friends Chopper Doll, Qian, Betsy and maybe even throw a Bart in there as well, do some riding and spend at least one day being totally lazy on the beach.  Within the first 50 miles of the ride, my sciatic nerve got tweaked and no matter what I did, I could not squeeze my legs together to keep them on the floorboards.  I did all that I could do to hang on the bike!  We were about a 125 miles outside of Seal Beach and we gave a shout to C.D. and told her what was up.  "I'll fire up the spa and it will be ready when you get here"!  Now that's what I'm talking about!  We arrived after stopping at Starbucks to get Diane a monster size drink and load her up with caffeine to keep her going.  We were welcomed at her house like we had been friends for 20 years.  Within 20 minutes, I was floating like a tea bag in her spa and it literally saved my ass!  We chilled for a bit, caught up on some gossip... okay, the girls caught up on some gossip, I just listened from the jacuzzi!  Then our friend took us to this kick ass joint right on the beach for lunch!  Day one of our mini vacation was off to a great start!  By this time though, Diane was about full on running out of gas!  I had just enough time to race back to the house, grab my Pickle Sickle and head off to the I RIDE movie premier.  I arrived there with nearly 3 minutes to spare, this weekend was going perfectly!

The movie is about the Fryed Brothers Band and their lives and most importantly, about their lives behind bars.  Handlebars that is!  It was a great movie and it had a pretty damn good turnout for the Long Beach premier.  I ran in to old friends, met some new ones and we are going to work on putting on a Phoenix Premier of the movie, so I'll keep you posted on that as it moves forward.  I think my favorite part of the movie was seeing brother Miles Squire up there on the screen, healthy, happy and full of life!  Squire truly loved the Fryed Brothers Band and when you see the movie, you will see how very much.  I got to see guys like Beatnik and Kim Peterson from Biker and In the Wind magazines and friends like Will and Richard who showed up with a hard backed poster of Squire and everyone signed it.  It was a nice moment.  It was the same one that we hung up on the wall at the Broken Spoke Saloon after Squire's memorial there!

When the movie ended I walked outside to grab a smoke from my saddle bag and get some fresh air as I kept falling asleep during the movie.  Don't get me wrong, the movie was great, it's just that I was so fuckin exhausted from getting up at 3 am and riding 400 miles, then eating a big, late lunch and the theater was so cold and nice.  I get to the street and the bikes next to me are parked so damn close to mine I had to lean over from the left side of the bike to reach the right side bag.  I'm thinkin, what kind of an ass would park his bike this close?  I know that a lot of bikes were parked out front and no one wants to park across the street or around the block but what was so damned important about getting in to this spot in front of the theater?  Then common sense took over and my eyes began to work and I thought, okay, I'll give them a break this one time.  First off, the two bikes that were jammed in next to me were both FXR's and you know my new love for them but it was the paint job on the tank mostly that caused me to give them a bit of leeway!

I guess that they were running a bit late for their own movie premier and had to slip on in to any space that was available, so they put two FXR's in one spot and with the Pickle Sickle there, that made three.  How often do you get to see FXR's lined up like that?  Well, if you are me, often but not for most people.  Wait, I'll show you from another angle, this shit was tight!

It looks like I am carrying his luggage!  His bag was literally laying over the top of my saddle bag lid!  No there was not that much space available when they pulled in, it was lined with bikes!  We walked around the side street, hung out after the movie was over and I watched as everyone had a "safety meeting".  We shot some video interviews for the Squire tribute movie and then we all headed over to the Gas Lamp on Pacific Coast Hwy for the after party.  I hung out for about 45 minutes, but since Diane was not with me and this trip was all about her, I had to get back to Chopper Doll's house!  I raced there as fast as I could and got there only to realize that I wasn't missed much at all, go figure!  So being the loyal, loving man that I am, I plopped down on the couch and sat quietly while the girls watched Millionaire Matchmaker and I didn't complain not even once.  I do believe I did shout WHORE at the screen a few times....... or more even.  I know I promised to take lots of pics from this trip but looking back now, I barely took any.  We ate some Chinese food, and I passed out on the couch.  Which in the end was a lot more comfortable than the concrete sidewalk next to her garage where I had planned on staying!

Sunday came and we had originally made plans to ride on up to Hollywood and attend a benefit with the entire cast of Sons Of Anarchy.  They were helping out with a benefit for soldiers and you guys know how passionate I am on that cause!  Later we planned on heading from there over to see our friends Qian and Betsy who was luckily in town at the same time we were!  Like they say, plans are meant to be broken and that is just what we did.  We slept in and moved like 90 year olds with our depends under garments filled with shit!  We never even fired up the bikes until after 1:30 that afternoon!  Looks like Hollywood was out!  Miss Chopper Doll had us covered and took us on a gorgeous ride through some canyons and through the Cleavland National Forest or some shit.  Why anyone in California would name a national forest after Cleavland I have no fuckin idea.  Let's name something beautiful after something ugly.  Then I thought maybe it's named after President Cleavland and the same thought prevailed, yeup, still fuckin ugly!  We rode our asses off and arrived at this bad ass lil bar in the middle of nowhere called Hells Kitchen.  The concrete walls were made in the form of human skulls and the walls were cut flames.  Well, here, check it out!

We arrived dying of thirst and starving.  We got off the bike, stood in the sun which only made us even more thirsty and shot some pics.  We walked in to the bar and it was dark as hell.  Awesome, I love dark lil hole in the wall bars but this one was REALLY dark.  Then I heard the girls voices "Jack, the power is out"!  Okay, so we drink and eat outside.  Well we can't get anything to drink from the fountain because that needs power and we can't get any condiments because with the power out, the coffin can't be opened and because....... wait, DID YOU SAY THE COFFIN CAN'T BE OPENED?  That matters to us why?  Does a vampire make drinks and cook the food?  "No, we store all the condiments in the casket" the bar maid said.... oh well, that makes complete sense, where else would anyone store condiments? 

Eventually the power came back on and I could not help but go open and close the casket!  Hey, a guy needs bbq sauce!  We sat there and watched as every few minutes a bike cop took off from his little hiding spot between two trees and chased people down to give them tickets.  FUCKIN CALIFORNIA trying to make up for their budget shortfalls on the backs of their citizens!  It's a disgrace.  Needless to say, when we pulled out, we rode with a little less aggression than we did on the way in.  Especially after receiving the warnings from others in the lot that cops were both up and down the hill and they had been there all day.  Shit, did we blow right past them on the way in?  We took off and then headed down the hill and through the canyons back down to Cook's Corner to see if we could still catch the Fryed Brothers on stage.  We didn't but we did manage to catch them in the parking lot, not as good but nice anyway.  We hung out and as Diane and Chopper Doll began to look on in disgust at the drunken parents who had brought their infant baby to the bar and were speaking of how great it was to be out of prison, especially after being violated so many times by parole officers, I decided to suck down my Jack and Coke and beat a hasty retreat before they ended up back in prison for choking me to death!

You can see the devious looks on their faces here.  I knew that they were going to be up to no good so I set up he camera on the timer just to capture this moment while was face was pretty much still reasonably attractive and didn't have boot prints on the side of it yet!  The ride out of there through the canyons and then down towards the ocean absolutely rocked!  We rode out in to a southern California sunset and it was truly gorgeous.  We made it to the freeway, cut across 5 lanes of traffic to the HOV lane and until we hit the exit never once had a single car in front of us!  It could not have been more perfect.  It had gotten late and now there was no way on earth to make it up to the valley to have dinner with Qian and Betsy so I sent a text saying sorry for missing them.  I decided that since it was Diane's vacation, she had the night off and I ran over on the bike to the supermarket, picked up some shit and then came back and destroyed Chopper Doll's kitchen!  I whipped up some of my famous Rigatoni w/ vodka sauce alla Jack Shit and we had a kick ass dinner together.  Okay, so Diane was not totally off duty, when we were done, being the amazing girl she is, jumped up and cleaned the kitchen and the mess I had made of the most beautiful Viking Stove, thank God, I would not have known where to even start cleaning that shit!  We followed it up by eating cookies on the couch and watching more reality tv.  Tonight's viewing, Real Housewives Of New Jersey..... shit, I'm married to one, why the fuck do I need to watch it on tv?  But being a good man, I sat and we all made fun of these Jersey Bitches!  I have not seen that much drama in Jersey since the first party that I attended at Diane's house when we started dating!  Our host had to get up early for work and finally told us that we no longer had to sleep outside the garage on the sidewalk and if we wanted to, we could move right on in to the garage, so that was really nice!  Hey, I told you she treated us really well didn't I?  She went off to bed and Diane and I both fell asleep!  That garage was really warm and comfy.  We slept so well that we didn't even wake up until near 11am.

To the beach to the beach to the beach we go!  We hopped on the bike and rode on down to Seal Beach which for the record, I still, in three trips now have yet to see one fucking seal!  So I think there may be some bullshit going on here!  I'll keep you posted as my investigation furthers!  If you have never been to Seal Beach, you should really get over and check it out.  You may remember it from my writing about Born Free Chopper Show and the after party at Chicago Will's place.  As it turns out, he lives only two blocks from the ocean.  Main St. there is filled with great little shops and restaurant bars.  Definitely worth checking out and your ladies will thank you for it, trust me!  The beach is like the beaches that I am use to back east.  Big and beautiful and a long walk to the water.  Great sand and lots of people having a great time made the afternoon perfect.  We planted our asses down and staked a claim!

All done with our 2 slice one drink lunch special and ready to hit the beach!

The Beach had a great view.  Funny thing is, the sun was so bright that I was shooting the pier and could not see the screen on the camera so I zoomed a bit and hit the button.  I laughed afterwards when I saw this!

Sorry, just a Baywatch moment!  No Pamela though.... or CJ I think was her name.  Hell, no Carmen Electra either, just these three wannabe rockers!

Self Beach Portrait.  I was bored, Diane was working!

Even on the beach, even on vacation and even 400 miles from home and she is still on the phone working but this time she is doing it with a smile on her face!  That makes me really happy!

By the time we left, this is what the beach looked like and nope, still no damn seals!

One last shot before loading up the bike to split the beach.

We had planned to head back to Chopper Doll's house where she said we could clean up.  She was even willing to hit us with the pressure washer in the garage or our guest room as it is now being called.  We were going to roll out just prior to sunset and hit the desert in the dark as temps were still supposed to be over 100 degrees.  By 7 pm we are out the door and rolling down the road, that was the plan!  I was really worried about the heat from the engine and the pipes along with the heat from the desert and how it would affect Diane so I was pretty intent on sticking to the plan!  I guess plans are made to be broken!  As we were just finishing dinner around 8:30 at the restaurant and I had yet to pack up our shit and clean the garage, I knew we were going to be very late getting home.  Yes, we cleaned up the garage, after all, we are good house guests.  You can't stay at some one's place and not leave it clean.  Too bad we didn't have any laundry to do because the washer and dryer were right there in the garage.  It was nice too because I like to leave a light on when I sleep and all I had to do was open up the door on the dryer and there it was, night light, perfect!

So now here we are, running late and having a big dinner!  We are staying with a friend and rather than give her a gift, she is giving them to us.  What a sweetheart!  If you guys remember a few months ago, we did the necklace and bracelet giveaway.  If you ordered some I know Jack Shit shirts you were entered to win.  Well Chopper Doll was the one who donated that jewelry for our cause and I won't forget that!  You guys should check her out at lolasboutique2u.com, the stuff is gorgeous!  The bracelet and the necklace that you guys always ask me about are pieces that she made, they are so fucking cool!  Well she gave Diane the baddest necklace and made me for my birthday, the sickest wallet chain you have ever seen!  Thank you so very much Chopper Doll, you rock! 

I got all dressed up for our last meal and rocked my new Wall of Death T'shirt!  Damn I'm sexy!  Oh yeah, the girls, they sort of looked okay too.

It was a really, really long ride to the restaurant so we had to shoot some pics on the way to keep us occupied.  I wish I could have driven so that I could at least say I was driving Miss Daisy.  Next time maybe.

A little pre dinner, pre gift shot!  What a really great weekend, it sucked that it was so short! 

Diane was so happy all weekend!

Diane rocking her new necklace!  Thank you Chopper Doll!

So we chowed down like animals and shot back to the house for our middle of the night blast home!  Packed up our shit, cleaned up our socks and underwear off the garage floor and said our goodbyes!  We took off down the road and we were just getting in to the ride when this maniac pulled up next to us.  I thought this crazy California lunatic was going to shoot out the window at us or something but luckily we made it out safely.  Each time I see a white BMW I will get chills and watch my back from now on, you never know when that maniac will be back!  Our 1am arrival at home turned in to a 4 am arrival and you know what?  It didn't matter even in the least!  We both have been working our asses off and we needed the break.  Our no work rule for the trip was almost followed.  Hey, we can't be expected to stop cold turkey ya know.  So I did some work at a movie premier and Diane negotiated contracts from the beach, no harm, no foul!  I will look back on this August and have fond memories.  I knocked it right the fuck out of the park at the Broken Spoke, kept my word to my girl and took her away, made some amazing contacts and I didn't even go and talk to any of those tv guys in LA.....  hell, tv will always be there, we needed a break!

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and The Man off your ass.

Your friend,

Jack Shit

DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS OR YOU WILL REGRET IT!

THIS IS IT FOLKS, THE FINAL DAY OF THE JEWELRY RAFFLE.  GET YOU LAST MINUTE ORDERS IN BY MIDNIGHT, ARIZONA TIME TO GET IN RAFFLE.  YOUR SHIRTS DON'T HAVE TO BE DELIVERED TO YOU TO WIN.  ALL TICKET NUMBERS RECORDED ON THIS END.  THIS IS YOUR VERY LAST CHANCE TO GET GREAT SHIRTS AND A CHANCE TO WIN SOME GORGEOUS BRACELETS!  GOOD LUCK TO ALL WHO HAVE ALREADY ENTERED AND THOSE YET TO ENTER, YOU BETTER HURRY!

UPDATED SINCE ORIGINAL POST - UPDATED SINCE ORIGINAL POST

I have to tell you that photos do not do this jewelry justice!  Ladies, do you want one of these?  Guys, do you want to get one of these for your girl?  Do you want one of these and not have to pay for it, yeup, for FREE?  Yeah, I thought that would grab your attention!

The above paragraph was how this blog post was originally posted but now, the ante has been upped.  That second photo is the men's Zack bracelet and let me tell you, it is bad ass.  I have the very same thing but rather than it be the bracelet, I have it as a necklace!  You are going to want to keep on reading this blog because now you can get both for FREE!
Here is the deal....  every single time we go out to a bike event, my beautiful wife gets asked two questions and they both start with OH MY GOD!  Oh my God, that shirt is unbelievable, where did you get it?  They are asking about the I know Jack Shit Shirts and the other question starts OH MY GOD, where did you get that bracelet?  That is the coolest thing I have ever seen!  It truly is beautiful, they both are!  The shirts, not so much beautiful, but cool as shit! 

The bracelets are made by a dear friend of ours, she is known everywhere as Chopper Doll, but her name is Daisy and she is truly a kind soul!  You must know Chopper Doll by now, but if you don't, maybe a highly detailed photo of her will help you remember her.  Well you tell me, do you know this woman? 

and as you can see, she is one of us!

Of course you do!  Okay, I'm just screwing with you but, really, I'm not!  A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from Daisy and she had an amazing idea.  I listened as she told it to me and I must tell you that I was speechless!  She owns a company called Lolasboutique2u.com and she makes these amazing bracelets and other kick ass jewelry.  As a matter of fact, if you guys saw those videos that I posted in the last few days, the necklace that I am wearing was made by her.  Everyone loves it and so many people have asked me where I got it and what it's made of, I just point them her way.

Many of you know but some may not, the proceeds from my shirt sales go to helping us pay for the massive cost of my angel of a wife's Multiple Sclerosis treatments, testing and meds.  At this point, obviously I don't sell enough shirts to come close to covering the cost but I have to say that thanks to your support and your love for these shirts, it sure helps us out!  So what was Chopper Doll's idea?  I'll say this, it is a great one.  Ms. Daisy offered me something that blew me away.  Her idea was this;  how about for a set period of time, each and every single person who purchases an I know Jack Shit shirt gets entered in to a drawing and at the end of that set period of time, a winner will be pulled from those entries and that winner will be the lucky winner of one of these stunning bracelets!  It takes a great deal to make this loud mouth speechless, but this surely did it!  These bracelets are not cheap to make and her offer hit me straight in the heart!  Thank you so very much Ms. Daisy, I am touched!  SO THAT IS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO!  I am going to set up a page, attached to this blog that will allow you folks to order shirts, right through pay pal and you will still be able to hit me up directly on FaceBook and order them as well, the same way we have always done! 

So give me a few days to get my act together and if you have any questions, any at all please don't hesitate to reach out to either of us!  Jewelry questions or t shirt questions or hey how the hell are you questions.  If you got questions, we got answers! 

So on behalf of myself and my amazing wife Diane, I want to thank the one and only Chopper Doll for being so kind and generous to us!  Now it is up to you!  Do you want to do a good thing and at the very least get a bad ass shirt and best case, get a bad ass shirt and an even more bad ass, one of a kind piece of jewelry? 

I plan to fill out an entry form for each and every person who purchases a shirt.  If you purchase more than one as so many of you do, then you will get an entry for each shirt you purchase.  If you purchase hoodies, then you will get two entries in the contest.  I will at the very least, video the pulling of the winning entry and if I can figure out how to do it, broadcast it live.  That I have yet to figure out but I have some pretty smart friends!  So all that is left now is to get a final count on the shirts that I have in stock and fill in the void of sizes that have been sold out.  So go to http://www.lolasboutique2u.com/ and check out the sick stuff that Chopper Doll makes and I will let you all know the date that we start the contest!  Now some of you will say, Jack Shit, I just ordered a shirt today, or yesterday, do I lose out on this?  NO, YOU DO NOT!  If you purchased a shirt this week, you will be entered in to the contest, GRANDFATHER CLAUSE'D IN, if you will!  So don't worry.  Keep the orders coming and I'll give you an official start date.  We should be up and ready for this by Monday. 

So again, it won't matter if you are man, woman or child, if you buy a ladies tank, a men's t or a hoodie, they all count!  Guys, if you order a shirt, you can just give me the person's name you would like to enter if you don't have a girl.  This may be your chance to blow that lady's mind that you have been trying to impress!

Remember, no matter what life throws your way, take it head on and keep up the good fight no matter what.  You will find that you are stronger for it and your strength will help to inspire others to fight or do good deeds, people will see the fire that you posses!  No matter what bad tricks the Universe plays with you and your loved ones lives, face it with your chin down and your knuckles up.  My wife Diane is an inspiration to so many because no matter what, no matter how bad she feels, she never shows it and she always puts others first and that is just incredible.  You guys have sent so much love our way and I will never forget it!  I think that the key, no matter what you are facing is to keep up your sense of humor!  Laugh at anything that you can, find humor in things that may make you want to cry and try your damnedest to bring a smile to some one's face!  Never ever, let them get you down.....  These poor bastards didn't even know she was fucking with them.....

SO NOW IN CLOSING, WIN OR LOSE THE RAFFLE, YOU WILL STILL WIN!  I HAVE SOLD A GREAT DEAL OF THESE SHIRTS ALL AROUND THE WORLD NOW AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS GOTTEN ONE HAS FLIPPED OVER THEM.  The shirts are top quality and a separate page to order them will be attached to the blog itself!  The page is being set up as we speak and you will be able to just pay with your pay pal acct. right there without any hassle at all.  You can still pay with check or money order, it just takes a bit longer to finish the entire process!  FOR MY PART, I ASK ONLY ONE THING AND I HAVE HAD THIS RULE SINCE I BEGAN MAKING THE SHIRTS, WHEN YOU GET THEM, YOU HAVE GOT TO TAKE A PHOTO IN IT AND SEND IT MY WAY FOR THE ALBUM!

IF YOU GO TO MY FACEBOOK PAGE  JACK SCHIT, (I ADDED THE "C" TO GET PAST THE AUTOMATED CENSORS) AND LOOK AT MY ALBUMS, there are two now that are titled FRIENDS WITH THEIR I KNOW JACK SHIT SHIRTS and you can check them out for yourself!  GOOD LUCK WITH THE RAFFLE!
Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit