It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

When did it all change?

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE BUT IT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR.... That is what is painted on that fairing in case you can't read it.  I was never really sure what it was that these guys did, these Patriot Guard Riders.  When I first saw two of them rolling down the road I assumed that it was just another start up riding club, not a MC, but a riding club.  When I found out what it is these guys do, I was blown away.  While walking around this silly ass bullshit bike event the other night, my wife saw this bike and asked if I knew what it was and what they did?  I said I know a little bit.  I explained to her that these guys took time from their lives to escort the remains of soldiers killed in action and they attend the funerals and unfurl big ass flags to block protesters like those PIECES OF SHIT, THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH who attend military funerals, disrupt the funeral and then sue any one who interferes.....  As I was explaining how they park their bikes a certain distance apart and pull the flags out and make a big RED, WHITE AND BLUE, STARS AND STRIPES WALL to block these scumbags from the family, I actually got chills and caught a tear in my eye.  PATRIOT does not begin to describe what these guys are! 

HERE IS THE PROBLEM AS I SEE IT.  Someone, please, please, please, tell me why these guys even need to exist?  Have we as a country grown so full of hate for each other and for each other's beliefs that someone would go and disrespect the final services of some one who gave up everything to go and defend freedom around the world and who gave the ultimate sacrifice and gave their life!  GOD HATES FAGS is the battle cry of these inbred sheep fuckers!  Because the military let gays in, they now disrupt any funeral that they can.  Worse yet, they sued a family of one fallen Marine I believe because they were stopped from protesting and WON?  The father of this fallen hero had to pay all their legal expenses after his victory against them was over turned by another judge!  When did it all change?  When did we reward people for being low life mother fuckers?  As a writer and a full blown mental case whose words would be censored nearly any place but here, I believe more than the average person in the right to free speech, free expression and freedom to practice any religion you want.  But where do you draw the line between your freedom and disrupting an other's freedoms?  When did it all change?  When did we become so politically correct that rather than offend people who would terrorize, yes, that's what I said, a family in mourning, our government chose to offend the very  family in mourning?  When did the fact that you chose to serve this country make you a target by our own government?  Each and every single time that I see these fucks on television, all I can think of is WHY?  Why would they give these people air time?  Forgive me for this rant on Easter Sunday of all days but I saw a news story yet again about these low life assholes and it just lit my fucking fuse!  Enough is enough once again.  WE THE PEOPLE, elect judges, congress, senators and presidents and it is about time that we stand up and have these self serving, power hungry fucks learn that WE ARE THEIR BOSSES and not the other way around!  When did it all change that common sense was no longer applicable?

Once again, the very reason that I began this post got totally away from me.  What I meant to write about and the title still holds true was, when did it all change, with the bikes we ride?  The parties we attend?  The lifestyle in general?  I went down to Mesa Riverview the other night for bike night.  It's an event that they now host each and every Friday and I thought how cool!  I figured it would be lined with choppers, cool stockers and maybe some hot rods too.  You would think that it was like a 1000 mile ride for all who attended.  There had to be no bullshit, 400 or more bikes there and I counted 17, yes, 17 that did not have a full fairing or windshield.  It was like the grand touring road show.  I understand baggers and I understand the need for them.  I just wondered when did it all change that you could hardly find a bike without one?  What really got me blown away was that as we are in the midst of the worst economy since the great depression, I found it difficult to even find an Evolution engine there.  Virtually every bike was new, can you imagine?  I remember years ago, I was mocked for riding an EVO!  The new guy, with the new fangle bike!  Now Evo's are damn near what the Shovelhead was!  Well without any of the class, sex appeal or coolness that is!

So now I began a quest if you will to find something other than a brand new bagger to take a pic of...  The event is set around a traffic circle with four streets going off in each direction.  In the circle was a band that I could not tell you if they were any good or not.  What I can tell you is that it was probably the worst PA that I ever heard.  I think that these guys watched Spinal Tap one too many times and took that whole "11" on the volume nob way too serious.  Before I start getting the "drop dead Jack Shit, I ride a bagger" mail, don't bother!  I had a street glide too at one point and I would probably still have it had it not been for two things; first it was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever ridden and second, had it not been repossessed!  I could have stopped it from going, I got the call that they wanted the money but Diane's illness had already wiped out my credit, the value of it was lower than what I owed and I just asked the woman on the phone, "you want me to drop if off or do you want to come and get it"?  She was dumbfounded for the record.  "Really" was her response.  "Well sir, we can work with you"!  Nah, no thanks, I'll leave it outside in case I'm not home.... I don't think this has ever happened to them!  I hadn't told Diane about the call and this guy rang the door bell, full tatt'd up head, big beard all sleeved and she opened the door.  The guy said I'm here about the bike and she said okay and the guys mouth dropped open.... "really"?  Yes sir, it's all yours!  We could have easily paid for it but decided the money was better spent on paying the 4 thousand dollars a month for her insurance and meds so we just said "take it man".  She called me and I said I was right around the corner, I'll be right there, I have the key.  When I got there, I think the guy thought I was going to jump out with a gun or something, I simply asked, "hey man, you need help loading it up"?  "Uhm, uh, no, no thanks man, I got it, but thanks again"!

Side tracked again.....  For the record I don't hate stock bikes, I just prefer the Choppers and Bobbers.  I am blown away by the level of talent that goes in to the design, the build and the little details that sets each and every single one apart from the others.  These folks have ten times the talent that I would ever have and I have mad respect for them.  What I could not understand is that with all of these bikes in this mini mockery of an old down town, there were not even "billet barge choppers" on the property.... We walked in all four directions, up and down and on the last leg of our journey, I finally found something cool!  Now I am even less of a fan of Hondas than I am of what people call Geezer Glides.  But and it's a big but, give me a Honda that some one spent countless hours, chopping and grinding and welding away on and they have earned my respect!  What can I say, I'm an old bike guy and as Teach would say, I have a Vintage Bike Addiction!  Check out this BAD ASS HONDA!

Can you see the attention to the little details that just sets this bike apart from something you would buy?
Even if it were something you would buy from a bike builder, it is just not the same.  Hand built
by the owner, out of nothing but pure passion and a vision!  I DIG IT!

I had just run in to a few friends and we were bullshitting for a few minutes when I heard the bike fire up, which by the way was unmistakable from anything parked there.  I said to Diane, I sure hope he rides this way.  He did and I stopped him right in the middle of the circle, introduced myself and told him how much I appreciated the bike and asked if I could snap a few shots, "sure man" he said with a smile.  I don't care how "anti social" you are, it's always nice to have your work appreciated and I did!

There is a restaurant there that we were told was great and a few other friends were going to shoot on over and meet us.  We hung out on the street for a bit and I just could not get over the fact that since this guy had left, there was not a bike on the property older than 5 years!  Has anyone told these folks that we are in a recession?  I walked in to the restaurant and was really kind of bummed out.  We sat at the bar for a few and my goggles were really pissing me off resting on my head!  I took a walk out to hang them on the bike and as I walked out, much to my surprise, a Sprung Pan Chop was backing in to a spot.  I was damn near giddy!

My excitement was taken down a notch when I saw that it was and was not a panhead at the same time!  It was a very well done, knock off!  But I didn't care, it was a chopper baby!  We spoke for a few minutes and he showed me how he put a fake generator cover over the oil filter on the motor and even hooked up the wires to make it look real... whatever it was, it was still cool!  I hung up my goggles and walked across the street still talking with the owner.  He asked, "what ya riding man"?  I said that Knuck over there and with that he said "oh hell man, I know you, you're Jack Shit"..... I said, "yes sir, I surely am".  The guy standing next to him said "fuck man, I love your blog"!  What can I say, my penis just got an added inch to it! 

While we were talking, another guy and a chick were standing in the back just listening.  When the first cat walked away, this guy started asking me questions, and they were good questions, this guy not only knew what he was talking about, but I think he was even testing me a bit to make sure I was the real deal..... well now it's on like donkey kong!  I told him other than a Honda that had left, my knuck and this "pan", there were only two other bikes there even worth looking at and they had only pulled up a few moments ago.  "Oh really, where are they", he asked?  I pointed, right over there man and he promptly replied, "right there"?  Yeah man, right there, well those are ours he said!  Okay, now we are rolling!  Check out these bad bitches!

Now the hard core amongst us reading this will remember that above I used the phrase cool stockers.  They would ask the question, how can it be stock and still be cool?  This is how a bike can be 100% bone stock and be the coolest damn thing in a sea of what was now probably at least 5 or 600 bikes!

That is a 100% bone stock, 1947 big inch flat head!  It was original right on down to the paint!  I spent so much time talking and looking at this bike that I actually got a call from my wife inside the restaurant, pissed, wondering where the hell I went?  I told her and she immediately understood.  THIS BIKE WAS PHENOMENAL!  Now as amazing as this was, wait till you see the scoot his old lady rode in on!  You guys have heard me say that rigid sporty chops are where it's at now!  Here is the perfect example of what a bad ass sporty chop is!  This thing is bad ass right on down to the old ammo can used for a saddle bag!  Check it!  It's got a Wassel Tank, ribbed fender, sprung front end and is just plain bad ass! 

So as it turns out, it wasn't that there weren't people there who rode awesomely cool chops and vintage iron, it's just that they don't get there early!  Thank God folks!  This saved my entire night!  As I kick started my old knuck and rode away, I heard the worst sound that I have ever heard come out of my engine and my night immediately went to shit again!  So again, I ask, when did it all change?  When did my bike go from a perfectly running 64 year old knuck to a knuck with a horrid sound!  When do we catch a FUCKING BREAK I ask?

In closing, all I can say is that the event wasn't that awful.  Even though it was not wall to wall bikes that I dig, what it was, was wall to wall people who I really dug who went out of their way to make me feel really welcome!  I think with each week that passes, this event will grow, more people will learn of it and although I am sure they will show up late, more and more kick ass old chops will roll on in! 

To me, it don't matter what you ride, just get out and fucking ride folks.... but if you do live in one of the hottest places on the planet and you are riding 11 miles to bike night, TAKE THE DAMN WINDSHIELD OFF, believe me, you will need the air to cool off your body!  Till we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit


  1. killer piece, Jack! loving the blog, bro!! Rock on!!

  2. I have been a member of the PGR for a few years now and have been to a few of the memorials. The PGR is "invited" by the families to help pay "respect" to their fallen hero and to those that served this great country.
    This so called "church" and its members are a bunch of lunatics, however, we are not to be forceable, or engage in any violence. Although, that is very hard at times... in particular since PGR is loaded with Vets that ride. We stand at attention and if we have too, some of us get on our bikes and ride up and down so that the grieving family cannot hear the outbursts of this group, or any group heckling our heros.
    Yes, it is lunacy to even have to do this, and I despise them. HOWEVER...
    We are America. When this went to court and the good guys lost, we actually won. Why is that? Its called FREEDOM OF SPEECH. It is one of this great country's greatest foundations. It is why you and I get to blog and rant and vent in any way shape and form and get away with it.
    People read our blogs from all over the world. They read it and take away with one of two thoughts: (1) Americans are now fighting each other... oh boy! Lets watch them really fuck up now! A civil war! or (2) I wish I had the FREEDOM to say what they are writing and talk about it pubically without my tongue getting cut off.
    Freedom.... as riders we all talk about it, only a few live it.
    As Americans we live free every day...ask other countries and they will tell you just that.
    As Americans a lot of us take it for granite.
    As for Our Fallen Heros, I take pride in the fact that they are the reason... and sole reason we are free to speak our minds and ride this country's roads.
    To show other countries that we can have Freedom Of Speech and fight it in other ways, in a civil like manner, is the best proof that these HEROS did not die in vain.
    I am a proud American. I do believe in the Court's and the system. They don't make everyone happy, but damnit they have worked to keep this country solid. With saying that, change is always good... that's why we get out and VOTE. A lot of countries reading this CAN'T VOTE!
    Being upset at these assholes and writing about it is one thing, doing something about it is hard work and most peeps don't want to do it. That's the cold truth.
    So who does the work? OUR HEROS OUR VETS YOUR VOTE.
    Sorry Jack to take up so much space on your blog...
    Great Post! Its inspiring!