Keeping this a secret has been killing me!

Well folks, I mentioned a few weeks ago that we had some huge announcements to make this year for the Sturgis Rally at the Legendary Broken Spoke Saloon but I had to keep them under wraps for a bit.  That bit seemed to stretch on a "bit" longer than I thought and it's been eating me alive that I've not been able to share it with you all!  First we announced for our legion of country fans that the one and only Gary Allan to rave reviews, then we dropped the bomb on you fine folks that the one and only Black Crowes were heading back out on the road and dropping this shit down a gear and opening up their throttle with us at the Broken Spoke but that left two huge concert nights left open and I've been getting hammered with questions about who it was going to be.....  well I can't share everything with you right now, but I will share this....  ya ready?  The one and only QUEENS OF THE STONEAGE will be taking the main stage at the The Spoke and I'd say that they will be blowing the roof off the joint but I can't and the only reason for that is that they will be playing under the incredible star filled South Dakota sky!  If you haven't booked your camping you still have a shot, just go to the Broken Spoke Saloon website  CLICK RIGHT HERE DAMNIT.  Every single show is free for campers and we've kept the ticket prices for those of you who are not camping with us at a price that anyone can afford.  So spread the word, it's on like Donkey Kong for the 2013 Sturgis Rally and I give you my word that we are going to break our backs to show you the greatest time you've ever had and help you make some memories to last a lifetime!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Don't miss out on this shit!

Well by the photo at the top of this post you probably already have an idea of what this is going to be about, or so you thought you did.  Read on and find out, it's not exactly what you would expect it to be.  Sure the Broken Spoke is going out of their way to once again do everything in their power to show you the greatest time you've ever had while at the rally but they got a little something else up their sleeves as well for fans, friends and followers or your dear pal Jack Shit!  I have to admit that since the very first time that I ever stepped foot on to the Spoke property, I've been treated like a gentleman and with total respect, well by the folks at the Spoke that is, there were a few drunks and "graffiti artists" that are no longer fans of mine, but who gives a flying monkey fuck about them anyway?  As you guys know, for the last few years, I've been selling the traditional I Know Jack Shit shirts at rallies and off of this very blog.  A great many of you already own them.  If you don't, there is a link on the bottom right side of this very page to order them. 

When the powers to be at the top of the Broken Spoke food chain found out that the proceeds went to help me cover the massive costs of Diane's medical bills from the MS they came up with a great idea.  They also know that I am notorious for throwing free shit out to the crowd at every single rally and they've learned of the crowd's chanting of Jack Shit - Free Shit, Jack Shit - Free Shit. 
They wanted to continue on in the spirit of giving away free shit and came up with this kick ass idea.  What if for one week, beginning tonight at midnight, for all my friends who book their camping at the WORLD FAMOUS BROKEN SPOKE SALOON right up until midnight of July 13th, everyone got a limited edition, one time only, one run print, I Know Jack Shit shirt that has never before been seen and will never again be reprinted.  I thought that was fucking awesome of them and then they stepped up the deal.  Anyone who books during that time period, a portion of their camping proceeds will also go towards helping Diane with the crazy costs of her meds.  I must say that I was stunned by this offer and humbled once again by the generosity of the Broken Spoke towards both myself and my family!  So do you guys want to see the rough run of the shirt?  Well check this shit out.  Since you guys know that I'm most notably known for my brutal honesty, I wanted the shirt to be as in your face as possible without the bosses telling me to drop dead!  George the Painter took this shot of me last year right in the Sturgis BROKEN SPOKE so it could not be more appropriate.  Well that's enough of that shit, here ya go, check out the shirt.

It is just the BROKEN SPOKE'S way of saying a very special thank you to the great many of you amazing folks who support me no matter where it is that I go and I am blown away by it!  So when you book your tent or rv space, in the notes section of the order, type in I KNOW JACK SHIT or anything JACK SHIT related and the shirts are yours!  If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.  I know some of you guys are going to flip the fuck out because you booked yesterday or two days ago or weeks ago....  just hit me up and let me see what I can do about that for ya.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your undying support, you guys never let me down and I am blessed to have you all as friends.  I've already been asked, I can't make it to Sturgis, but I want to buy that shirt..... I'M VERY SORRY BUT As of right this moment,YOU CAN'T!  This is only for the folks camping with us this rally and as I said above, it will never be reprinted again.  Any of you who know me, know that my onstage and well off stage antics for that matter could get me fired at damn near anytime so this would then fall in to the "collectors item" category!!!

If you have never been to the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon and wonder what it is like, allow me to offer you this example;

If there is anything that I can absolutely guarantee you, that is that you will have the time of your life and as Jay Allen always says, "we make memories at the Broken Spoke", some come and make some that will last a life time and get this I know Jack Shit limited edition shirt to boot!  Do me a favor if you would and share the link to this page and the link to the world famous BROKEN SPOKE SALOON

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know!  It's been some time since I've posted and I'm sorry for that.  I can't even begin to comprehend where the last few weeks have gone.  It truly seems like yesterday that anytime someone asked me, "hey man, when do you head to Daytona"?  The answer was always six weeks.  No matter how many times that I was asked that question, the answer was always six weeks.  Now in like 15 hours, I head for the airport and I'm off to Daytona Beach for Bike Week.  I went from having six weeks to get ready and doing nothing to panic mode as I try to get my ass in gear, packed up and on the plane!  For the next 10 days, I will be laying it all out on the line to try and bring a smile to the faces of you fine folks that show up at the Spoke to party, have a great time and build some memories.

I've gotten so many "I'll see ya there" messages that if only half of you show up, I'll be thrilled.  Although I am surrounded by people all day and I keep a break neck pace and NEVER even sit down while I'm working, I feel sometimes like a man on an island.  I feel all alone in a see of faces that I don't know and when I see someone I know come riding through those gates it makes me so happy.  I can't begin to express just how very happy I am when you maniacs show up to party with us!  On the flip side of the coin, I get really bummed when I watch you fuckers ride away too!  We have a massive week planned for you all in Daytona and it seems that even though the event is quite literally upon us, we are still adding to it!  So check out the Broken Spoke Saloon's face book by clicking right here,  Spoke's FACEBOOK PAGE, page for updates throughout the day and the week.  Also, don't forget to go to The Spoke's Web Site for an entire list of events, artists, builders and runs that we have planned for you!

For those of you who sent me messages about Jack Shit shirts, yes, I will have them in Daytona.  I'm bringing lots of men's and lady's t's and tanks but I can only bring a few Hoodies with me.  If you want a hoodie, you better get your ass down there early in the week!  If you have been waiting for shirts that were back ordered, they all went out today and I thank you for your patience.

As I said in the opening paragraph, I truly don't know where the last few weeks have gone and looking back, I can't figure out even what I did that ate up so much time.  My email in boxes are damn near maxed out and although I had big plans all week to try and play catch up, I am still way behind.  Here is a word of advice for you my friends;  If you upload Skype, make sure to check your setting on other accounts afterwards.  Not only does it now allow instant messaging that I've always had turned off, but I now receive an email anytime anyone that I know does anything on facebook.  I mean damn near anything.  I opened up my in box to over 9000 emails the other day and that was just on one account.  I would hit delete all but then I would miss the real emails that are lost in the sea of bullshit!  So I said it the other day and I'll say it again, if you sent me a message and I have not gotten back to you and it was important or time sensitive, please re send it to me so that it is on top of the list!

That's it for now folks, it's time to get my shit together and get my head ready for 9/ 15-16 hour days, all to bring a smile to your faces.  I'm going to throw a flyer on here below this so you have an idea of what is going on, but like I said, make sure you check the sites for up to the minute info!

 Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Nothing on earth like Mike Lichter pics! The man is the master!

Last year I had the incredible opportunity to come to Sturgis and host the World Famous Original Broken Spoke Saloon, down town!  I would work all day and then the one and only Jay Allen would roll over the mountain from the Campground, come on in, talk to the people who love him and who he loves so much, the bikers that take their rally time to spend with us.  He would host a contest, then jump on his bike and race back over the mountain.  At night, he would do the very same thing.  He would race over the mountain and come down and host the Miss (enter beer brand here) contest and then boogie right back out and over the mountain.  On Thursday, during the 70th, I was notified that Jay could not make it down tonight and that I would have to host the contest myself.  I was asked if I was up for it?  Are you shitting me?  Of course I'm up for it, this is what you pay me to do!  Only problem was it was not a Miss anything, it was a Mr. Corona contest!  I didn't get the short end of the stick, I ended up getting both ends of a whole bunch of different size and length sticks.  It was also my birthday!

Well to say that I knocked the contest out of the fucking park would be an understatement.   As a matter of fact, it would be the understatement of all understatements.  When the contest was over, I was walking around the dance floor and as I went to leave, I WAS STOPPED!  My microphone was taken away from me and all I could think was "JACK YOU WENT TOO FAR THIS TIME"!  Next thing I know, a bar stool is being pushed under me from behind!  An announcement was made that it was my birthday and the entire packed Broken Spoke sang happy birthday to me, it's something I'll never forget.  Then all the girls from the beer distributor came out and surrounded me and they were carrying a pie.  A birthday pie for lil ol' me!  All the while this is going on, the one and only Mike Lichter was just shooting away. 

It seems that only a short time before, Sasha Mullins, my boss downtown had gone out or had sent someone to the store.  I think she had gone herself with Radical Randy's girl and got me this pie.  Here lies problem one.  The pie was frozen.  As I blew out my candles, the beer girls discussed who was going to push the pie in to my face.  No one wanted to be the one.  They each thought that I would be mad at them.  Here is a photo that Mike just sent to me last week, you can see me posing with my happy birthday clown hat on and the girls in the back with the pie.

I'm a giver, not a taker.  It is so much easier for me to do nice things for others but it is really hard for me to receive gifts or compliments.  That is why I'm always so humbled to get them.  I wish I had a clearer shot of the girl with the pie in her hands because I'd sure like to get some pay back.... lol...  You can even see the look on my face, eyes closed and looking down.  Any body language person will tell you that I'm uncomfortable here and touched!  Here lies problem two, the pie was still mostly frozen and the girl was so afraid to let me see her coming that she tried to reach around and hit me in the face with it.  So what I got was a pie in about 15% of my face, the rest was in my ear and the frozen, jagged pieces went straight in to my eye!

As you can see in the above photo, the missed nearly all of my face but the left side eye and ear were just jammed packed with it.  It was a great night and I couldn't be more thankful that anyone even took the time to do this for me!  As I warned Sasha, I'll get your ass back for this.... I'll find out when it is your birthday and I'll get ya... She told me that I would never in my lifetime know when it was.  Well needless to say, I found out when it was, had a pie delivered to her front door step with a note that looked like a Ransom note.  I wish I knew where that pic was.  You guys would have really loved it, one day I'll find it and I'll share it with you.  It had to screw with her head because I live in Az. and she lives in Tenn., so for me to not only find out the date but have my minions do this was amazing!  The long reach of Mr. Shit!

As so many of you know, when I work, I never stop.  I also nearly never, ever leave the property where I am working.  There are far too many things that can go wrong and I will never take that chance.  At the 70th Sturgis Rally, part of my duties for the Spoke was to attend the Cycle Source Magazine Ride out of the Spoke Campground.  It was truly an incredible ride with an amazing turnout of some of the finest people our lifestyle has and some of the sickest machines to ever hit the pavement!  If you ever get a chance to do this ride, don't miss out on it! 

So on that day, the one and only Mike Lichter did what he does better than anyone that I know.  He got his crazy ass on the back of a bagger, backwards of course and shot the ride.  A few nights ago, he was kind enough to not only share the photos from my birthday celebration but he was also kind enough to share with me a few shots he captured of me riding KOKO, my Knuck through the Black Hills on the way back from the ride.  This man is the master of what he does and it truly is an honor to have him capture you for all eternity, doing what it is you love the most!  So check it out.  I always wondered what the hell my bike looked like from this side while in motion and now I know.

There are a few things that happen in your life and your career that you never forget.  Hosting downtown at the 70th Sturgis rally at the Broken Spoke will be one of them and these photos that Mike Lichter captured above will also be right up there in that list of memories.

Mike, thank you so much for sharing these with me, you are one class act!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

The group photo above was sent to me after the 70th rally.  It was shot by Geno Stull and it's a hell of a shot from an amazing day!

My Untold Sturgis Tale!

As I get my body and my mind ready for Daytona Beach Biketoberfest at the Broken Spoke, I couldn't help but think about this past Sturgis Rally at the Spoke.  Originally, I was going to write a small piece about it for Cycle Source Mag but Chris Callen gave me the opportunity to write about GTP's art show there and I chose that instead.  So here you go, Jack Shit's lost and untold Sturgis!  I hope you enjoy the ride.

I had gotten the go ahead email along with a signed contract, I was not going to be a spectator at the 71st annual Sturgis Rally but I was coming back to work once again for the Broken Spoke family and I was pumped.   The plan was to mix it up this year, the one and only Jay Allen would be hosting downtown at the Original Broken Spoke and I would be hosting up at the County Line Spoke!  With the exception of checking in with Jay and going on the Cycle Source Ride last year, I had never even stepped foot in the bar.  I did however ride my knucklehead right through it! How could I not?  You can't come to the Broken Spoke and not ride through the bar!

Before the gig was set in stone, the plan was to ride up in a pack with friends and pick up stragglers along the way and roll on in to Sturgis big!  Plans are meant to be broken!  Although there is nothing like runnin in a pack with your peeps, it is also a recipe for disaster when you have to be somewhere at a specific time.  I had to be at the Spoke and didn't want to leave anyone broken down on the side of the road, or God forbid in an accident.  The plan changed, I would ride up with just one guy.  I would ride up with one BIG, FUCKING HEAVILY ARMED GUY!  That should be the answer to any trouble along the way!  We decided the leave late in the afternoon, a day early for the "what if" factor and thank God we did! 

All the hours of work that went in to turning the PICKLE SICKLE  nearly in to a full on FXRT was worth it.  I say nearly because the last of the parts that I needed to do it were being delivered to me in Sturgis.  As you can see, I had everything on that bike wrapped in heavy duty contractor bags just in case we caught some rain on the way.  JUST IN CASE, what an understatement.  I took no shakedown ride on the bike after finishing the work, the shakedown ride to see if we had put everything together correctly would be 1400 miles for the PICKLE SICKLE!

Now here is something to make note of, a little Jack Shitlosophy if you will!  When you are someone who can't carry a weapon, a bullet or so much as a big stick, your next best bet is to travel with your very own Grizzly Bear, a very angry Grizzly Bear!  As far as I'm concerned, the only thing that we could have crossed paths with that may have been trouble for us was a MAMA GRIZZLY!  We shot some pics for posterity and we were about to pull out for Sturgis when a bit of common sense hit me.  HEY ASSHOLE, YOU DIDN'T EVEN BRING A JACKET!  You see, I was in a Phoenix frame of mind.  I hadn't needed a jacket since March and hell it was summer in Sturgis too right?   What's funny is, nearly every time I do any type of hard freeway running, I wear a leather "just in case".  The last thing you want to do is go down in Az. on a road filled with gravel everywhere and if you are lucky enough to make it off the road to the "soft" dirt, you are damn near guaranteed to smash your ass full on in to a cactus!  Come to think of it, I guess there is a chance we could hit some sprinkles on the way up as well and I do own a rain suit, I'll bring that too.  Now, one other problem, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY RAIN SUIT?  I live in AZ, we have 350 days of sunshine per year.  I have not seen my rain suit in 6 years!  After a short delay from running around like a penis without a head in the blistering August heat, I found all that I needed.  They say the trick to rain gear is to have it with you, this way you will never need it.  It is only when you don't have it that the universe will piss down on you.  For the record, WHOEVER SAYS THAT IS GOD DAMNED WRONG! 

We made it 42 miles from the house, up up up the mountain heading towards Payson, AZ and the Mogollon Rim and we already hit rain!  45 minutes ago, I was standing on my driveway in blazing sunshine without a care in the world or a cloud in the sky.  By the time we were 2 hours in to the ride, I had on my shirt, my hoodie, my leather and my rain gear.  I had to put the bubble shield on my helmet, put on a second pair of gloves and dump water out of my boots, WTF?  I figured we would cross the mountain in the cool night time temps, I sure was right about that, it was REALLY cool.  We didn't even make it 100 miles in to New Mexico and we had to call it quits for the night.  I was half crippled, exhausted, cold and had a knot in my low back that was feeling like I was being fisted by a T Rex and to top it off, my left side gas cap that really isn't a gas cap was leaking when the tank was full.  Day one came to a close with us grabbing a hotel with the plan of getting up super early the next day and blasting straight on through to Sturgis!  From the next morning on and having ridden through some of the most beautiful country on God's green earth, this is the last and only photo that I took the entire trip to Sturgis while standing on two feet!

My evil genius had paid off!  I decided to leave early for the what if and just in case factors and  experienced them both.  As you can see in the pic above, it was a spectacular day for riding!  Now we are going to make up some miles, burn up some freeway and be in Sturgis a few days early!  We rode a few hundred miles and were making great time.  We stopped about 150 miles outside of Albuquerque for lunch, hell, we were kicking ass and taking names, what could go wrong?  STUPID QUESTION!  I snapped this shot of the Grizzly Bear on the road after lunch and even managed to capture a few of me and my bubble. 

Those clouds, all puffy and nice turned jet black within the hour!  The temps dropped again and the sky just vomited on us!  Non stop, blinding sheets of rain and virtually one long hydroplane all the way to Colorado City!  So here I am, jammin as fast as the FXR will carry me and making my peace with God for all the wrong that I've ever done and asking him to just ride with me for a while!  It rained so hard that it was coming down between the front of the helmet and the bubble at 80 mph, how is that possible?  As we approached the bottom of a grade and the base of a bridge I couldn't even see the lane lines any longer and I was just thinking to myself, you should have taken the truck you stupid fuck!  With that, I hit what I can only describe as a small lake at the foot of that bridge!  The bike stayed on top of the water for a bit but the second I came off the throttle, the bike went full on sideways to the right and my balls instantly retreated right up in to my abdomen and I knew right then and there, I WAS DONE!  I guess either the old rule of "objects in motion tend to stay in motion" or God was still chilling out on the back seat for the ride, but somehow, the wave of water straightened the bike right back out!  I rode on for a few minutes and I could feel the pins and needles that had instantly arrived mid forehead begin to ease up.  We were only 67 miles from our last fuel stop and I didn't care, I hit the first exit that I could see.  Not the first exit that I passed, because the weather was so bad that I actually rode right past a massive neon green sign that read EXIT!  As I pulled in, I thought for sure that I was going to have to eat shit about stopping!  You know how it goes right?  What's the matter pussy, afraid of a little rain or something?  As I pulled off the helmet and turned around, my buddy Mike was white as a ghost!  He looked horrified and he said and I quote, "hey man, can we just call it quits"?  "Well sure I guess, if you want to be a big pussy"!  Meantime, I'm thinking inside, THANK GOD!!!  Second day, second hotel!  This shit was unheard of!  In the hotel by 9pm, a great night sleep and up at 6 am and back on the road.  I laid in bed, eating the most God awful gas station pizza with one hand and blow drying my gloves and two pair of boots with the other!  It rained until around 10am the next morning!  This was madness!  I would call this once again, DELAY OF GAME!

We made up some serious mileage that day!  The entire time the only bikes we saw on the road were going in the other direction.  Packs of bikes heading the other way.  Every single time I saw a pack all I could think of was that somewhere, somehow, I got off course and was going the wrong damn direction!  We made it all the way through Colorado and we were not far in to Wyoming when it was time for a fuel stop.  The sky ahead of us looked truly deadly!  As we pulled in, each and every single pump had at least one or more bikes parked at it and everyone was putting on every bit of gear they had to face this battle ahead.  I was not going to re-live the events of the last two days again.  I went in to the truck stop and bought some duct tape and asked the guy behind the counter for as many plastic shopping bags that he could spare.  I went back to the pump and installed my new rain boots.  I looked at the big Grizzly with me and he just shook his head and asked, "ya ready for this"?  We pulled on to the freeway and by the time we hit the bottom of the ramp, with all the gear I had on, it was feeling like I was being shot with rock salt from a shotgun!  Within 2 miles of entering the freeway, it crawled to a dead stop.  In the few minutes that it had rained, it had already caused a massive accident it was so bad.  As we passed on by, there were two pick up trucks upside down and a semi jack knifed between them.  What the hell was I doing?  We knuckled up, face the demon and rode on and what do you know, we rode right at of it.  The storm was massive but it was moving on an angle and we cut the first corner right off of it and got past it!  All of a sudden, it went from 51 degrees to 94!  Off to the side of the road to take off all the damn gear!

Somewhere around 90 miles or so from Dead Wood, South Dakota I stopped to gas up, piss and check my phone.  As I listened to my messages, I come upon one from GTP! " Dude"!  "Where the fuck are you"?  I sure hope you are okay, it is horrible here in Sturgis!  A massive storm just came through and CRUSHED US!  Tents are down, tarps are gone and all the porta johns are laying on their sides!  We were so close that I could taste it.  There was no way, come hell or high water that we were not making it to the  Broken Spoke Campground this night, no way, no God damned way!  All we had to do was cross up and over one big ass mountain, in the dark.  We just had to watch out for deer every 1/2 mile.  I'm from Jersey, I know how to watch for deer, let's go!  What I hadn't figured on was the temps.  I thought I was just tired and cold and being a big ass Pansy!  We stopped just prior to Deadwood and I said to my Grizzly Bear, "holy shit I'm cold" and he responded with "you should be, my temp reading was 47"!  WTF?  Is this not summer?  As we rolled on in to the COUNTY LINE SPOKE, it looked like a war zone!  All I could think about was getting in to my cabin, pulling off my frozen clothes and crawling in to my sleeping bag!  As I rolled on up to the country store the one and only, greatest night security guard in the history of bikerdom was sitting on a rocking chair, the legendary Brother Speed and by his side, Mikey from the WALL OF DEATH!  Who do I see about getting my cabin Brother Speed?  "Hell if I know man" was the answer!

So here we stand, wet, frozen, exhausted from a 700+ mile ride that day and the thought of even getting back on to the bike was inconceivable!  Brother Speed being the class act that he is offered me his cabin to crash in for the night but I wouldn't have it.  We hung on that porch for a few, I ate a gas station cookie and it was incredible!  I chugged down some water and then I swore I saw a skinny gray ghost approach and hell if I wasn't right!  Coming out of the fog was GEORGE THE PAINTER!  I got ya all hooked up brother, I've got a soaking wet picnic table for you to sleep on, let's go up the hill!  Okay, I'll ride up the hill, how do I know where to go?  "You will see a motor home that says FUCK YOUR HOA on it", that's us!  Here I thought he was screwing with me, but sure as shit as I pulled up the hill, sliding in every damn direction in the mud, thinking to myself, I stayed up on two wheels the entire way and I am going to crash right here at the Spoke!  Chris and GTP hooked a brother up.  They set up a tent for me to crash in until I could get situated with my cabin in the morning!  It looks like the decision to leave early was the right one to make!

As you can see here in the very first photo taken the next morning, I was beat down, broke and used up and I only had two weeks left till I got home!  The one and only PICKLE SICKLE kicked ass!  A bit of gas in the water but no worse for the wear!  For the record, even with all that biblical rain, everything stayed totally dry!  I've got to admit, the THE SPOKE hooked me up man!  I think I got the very best cabin on the property!  Check this shit out!

Each day I awoke to Bear Butte, it was inspiring!  The forecast for the Sturgis rally was rain, all day, every day!  If it was anything like the ride up, it was going to be one hell of a bad week and an even worse ride home!  I took that first day on property to get accustomed to the lay of the land so to speak, take my trip down town to say hello to everyone at the down town Original Spoke.  I have to admit that seeing the main lot of the Spoke empty without Cycle Source and  the Limp Nickie Lot there poked a hole in my heart!  I was so excited and pumped up to finally be hosting the Broken Spoke County Line and all the people that I cared about were going to be all off at other places, doing their own thing this year.  The "Lot" was down at the Buffalo Chip and everyone else was scattered about Sturgis.  The only thing that I could hope for was that at one time or another, they would find some free time and make their way over to the The Spoke! 

Even empty, the Broken Spoke County Lineis a magical and mystical place.  There is just something about the property, Bear Butte standing guard and watching down on us all, the rolling hills, hot rod lake and so much more that  it just grabs you and takes hold.  Don't even get me started on the pool!  For the record, as of this day, I've never even so much as had my toe in the damn thing!  There is just something so amazing about being at this place and watching it go from near empty to jam packed full!  Many of you don't ever get to see the property "at rest" so to speak, most of us arrive well in to the rally!  Take a look at how gorgeous this place truly is.

Whenever I work a rally or an event, my "what if" strikes me to the core again!  What if the crowds suck, what if the weather is bad, what if I SUCK, etc, etc, etc?  With the weather forecast looming, all I could think of was a massive storm coming all week and having the entire campground in the bar non stop.  What the hell would I do to entertain all of these people whose trips were ruined by bad weather?  Perhaps it was Bear Butte but in the entire week, we got a total of 25-35 minutes of rain, spread over two days!  Each day I would watch the massive storms forming all around us.  I would get calls from people all over Sturgis telling me how hard they got hit.  The hail damage done to bikes and how tents were just blown away and yet each day, it passed right by the Spoke!  The rally Gods were shining on the Spoke this year!  All I kept hearing from all over town was that the numbers were down, it was going to be a "soft year" and people were bumming out.  I was getting traffic reports that there was not even traffic downtown.  NO TRAFFIC IN STURGIS?  How is that even possible?  I could only respond with "well, it's jammin out here at the Spoke"! 

By the first full night of business my worries had ceased!  This was going to be a great rally one way or another!  I had yet to ever work with the folks from Target Logistics and I have to admit that I was a bit apprehensive but that was short lived!  I have to say that they treated me well and like I have been part of the Spoke family for years. 

All the pieces of the Broken Spoke puzzle for the 2011 rally were coming together and fitting in to place perfectly.  Things were looking great.  I have to give up some mad props though, right now, before I forget to the entire American Wall of Death family!  For the very first time ever, I got the chance to spend time with this incredible group of people who travel the country keeping America's first extreme sport alive and honest to its tradition!  I must say this and it is really important.  One night early in to the rally at around 4 am, I rode the PICKLE SICKLE over to the wall to see everyone hanging out.  We began chatting and they had asked if I had seen the condition of the flat track?  NOPE!  Well the grass and the weeds are chest high.  Well that sucks!  If we can get some golf carts and stuff, we could probably flatten it down, tomorrow we'll take a look.  Forever, I will remember as the words came out of my mouth, "let's ride there now"!  Oh my!  So let me just say this to you, NEVER, EVER, GO FLAT TRACK RACING AT 4AM IN THE MORNING WITH ANYONE WHO USES "DEATH" IN THEIR DAMN NAME!!!!  Please, don't ever forget that!  Let me just say that the PICKLE SICKLE had to spend some time being repaired after this night's events!  All day, I did whatever it was that I could to support the Wall and each night, these maniacs came in to the bar to do whatever they could to support me!

  This entire family and that is just what they are, are some of the finest people I've gotten to know and I am so proud to call them my friends now!

We rocked on all day, partied our asses off, then broke in to a big concert every night until midnight and then the mayhem began!  Each night just before the headline band went on we would finish the party up in the main bar, announce that we were moving down the hill and then rock the better part of the night away.  For the first few nights we hosted a miss "this or that" contest and the crowds loved it, both the men and the ladies.  Each day got better, each night got insane and each night I got less and less rest.  There are very few things left that surprise me anymore but I had one major one in store for me at the end of the first night!  I had two porn stars living in the cabin next to me!  The kicker was, they only worked as a team!  OH GREAT!  They in fact turned out to be really nice and the guys with them, just as nice.  It was always easy, no matter how buzzed I was upon my return to my cabin at night to know just which one was mine.  Mine was the one next to the cabin that had the line of band members, roadies and guests lined up trying to peak through the window!

The girls were known as the Evil Pin Ups, you can check them out online.  Although a great many of my friends as I wrote earlier, had been staying at other places for the rally, I was fortunate enough to have one of my dearest friends not only staying there, but having his incredible art work on display in the Legends Gallery!  The one and only George The Painter was right there for support every time I thought I wasn't living up to my potential or stressing about some stupid shit!  His show in the Gallery was amazing and we had a private, invite only party to kick off his show!  It truly was nice having him there!

With each day that passed by, more and more dear friends stopped in to support me.  With each knowing smile that I received, the pressure lifted more and more off of my shoulders and I was able to loosen up, be myself and kick fuckin ass!

Each and every single day, I was rewarded with the gift of friendship.  The gift of seeing old ones and making new ones.  Sturgis is an amazing place where relationships are formed and bonds either sealed or broken!  It is a place where there is no supervision and you are left to your own devices.  In Sturgis, the truth comes to the surface.  For some, their truth was giving up on their plans to help out a stranger with a broken bike.  For others, their truth was showing the world what they were really made of.  Proving that they were not there for the bikes, the brotherhood or even the party, they were just there to profit and move their shitty little lives forward and benefit from the hard work of their alleged friends.  The scum floats to the top in Sturgis, thank God for it!  It is a make you or break you kind of place.  For the ones who it made, God bless you, you deserve only the good.  For the ones that it broke, FUCK YOU, you never deserved to be there anyway!  There is an old saying and it holds so true, SOME FOLKS JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE FREEDOM!  

Each day at the rally just got better and better.  Everyone worked their asses off.  That is the thing most people don't realize.  The work that goes in to the rally before us retards even get there to start fucking it all up is incredible and after the rally is done, the work continues to clean up after us.  Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way complaining!  I would not trade the job that I do for anything on earth!  I get paid to bring smiles to people's faces, what could be better than that?  The one and only Jay Allen says, WE ARE MAKING MEMORIES FOR OUR GUESTS and it is absolutely true.  It is our job to make good ones for you, not cause bad ones.  These are wise words!

I could go on and on and lay out the rally day by day but who the fuck needs a blog that takes two hours to read?  What I can say is that each time I get the great honor of hosting the Broken Spoke and being invited in to the family, I myself am left with amazing memories!  The rally came to an end and I awoke in my cabin in a panic because I had over slept!  No wait, it's over!  I opened the door of my cabin, turned left, lit up a smoke and took in one long last good look at Bear Butte.  This place truly is magical!  I grabbed up my dirty laundry and separated it from what was left that was clean.  I began packing but had to stop each time someone poked their heads in the door to say goodbye!  We made it through damn near the entire rally without hardly even a drop of rain compared to the rest of Sturgis and its surrounding areas!  Literally thousands of people placed their hands in mine or high fived or fist bumped me saying thank you and see you next year, THIS PLACE IS AMAZING and I agree!  I loaded up my shit in the RV that GTP had come up in.  Souvenirs, laundry, bike parts etc., all packed in to the truck ready to go.  I called my girl and said, "baby, I'm coming home"!  As I fired up the bike, I took one long, last good look around and soaked it in!  It was time to head home and I was desperate to see my girl, but honestly, it's really hard to leave.  It truly is hard to shake of "RALLY FEVER"!    I guess another reason that I really didn't want to leave was;

Can you take a guess which direction I was heading?  Yeah, you guessed right!  Straight back in to belly of the beast!  I made it from my cabin back on down to the general store, said good bye and then headed up to the main bar.  Walking in I could not help but to feel a combination sadness and joy.  It was like looking over a battlefield that you were victorious on!  You have the joy from the victory but the sadness of the men you lost while trying to attain said victory!  I put on my rain jacket and said to the lone guy standing there when he asked, "what no pants", hell no, I'm still trying out that whole if you got rain gear you won't need it theory.  I rolled up to where the driveway meets 79, turn the front wheel left and cracked the throttle.  I made it no more than 200 feet and the sky began to piss on me!  The universe sure has some sense of humor!  I didn't stop until I got in to town to put the rain pants on.  By the time I had hit downtown and was at the stop sign in front of the Original Broken Spoke it had stopped raining!  Son of a Bitch!  Three hard, long days of riding and I rolled on back in to Payson, AZ.  I had to stop and see Long Jon and Pinky at Sacred Skin to make sure they too made it home, thank them for hangin out with me and take a piss!  It was like a mini Sturgis reunion because before I could even fire the bike back up, GTP was once again standing in front of me!  We hugged and off I went, I was a man on a mission to make it home!

Sturgis 2011, the 71st annual rally was 99% incredible and 1% suck ass!  I'm sure you guys have read that story!  L,L,H&R my friends..... 

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

Hardest Working Guys In The Business!

Most times, before we ever arrive at a rally, the WALL OF DEATH crew is already on property.  Often rolling in during the middle of the night!  As we complain about having to set up our tent or blow up our air mattress, the guys have the daunting undertaking of building THE WALL!  I only watched part of this process but by no means was it any less than back breaking!  They are the first to come and the very last to leave!  I had never really gotten to know any of the Wall crew prior to hosting this year at the Broken Spoke Campground and now wish I had taken the time earlier!  NOTHING BUT CLASS!  While on my ride to the Spoke, I had stopped to get gas about 40 miles or so outside of Deadwood and I was beat.  It would be a 687 mile day for us.  I turned on my phone as I had it off to conserve the battery and I had some messages.  One of those messages was from George The Painter and he had a real tone of concern in his voice.  "Hey man, where you at, we are having some insane weather here", "hope you are okay"!  Yes, GTP does have a heart!  50 weight pumps through it, but all in all, it is a heart.  Well that weather put the guys from the Wall well behind in their construction.  If that wall is not operational, they don't make a dime, if they don't make a dime, how do they even make it to the next event?  THEY DON'T!  The following day, they were still building the wall when it was announced that the Rolling Vietnam Memorial was on property, the opening ceremony would take place shortly but they needed volunteers to help construct it.  The guys from the wall stopped what they were doing instantly!  Now remember, no Wall, no money!  Each and every one of them went down the hill, behind the general store and went to work building the memorial wall.  I had nothing but mad respect for these guys before this, now, forget it, I can't put in to words the RESPECT, yes, there is that word again, that I have for these guys.  They put their work down, they put their income at risk and they went to help!  Fuck that's cool as shit! 

There is no insurance company on earth that will insure a Wall of Death rider and that sucks big time.  You guys know what the cost is when you go to the emergency room because you twisted your ankle, now imagine riding 50mph on a 16' high, 30' round wall of a cylinder and having something catastrophic happen!  I would bet the ranch you don't want that bill!  So they have a fund that they keep for when someone gets hurt.  Yes, they take care of their own, they are a family, the way this shit is supposed to be!  We watch these guys jump dirt bikes and we see the X games on tv, but this is the shit folks, this was America's first extreme sport and they are keeping it alive and well..... okay, maybe not well, but sure as hell alive!  Not well you ask?  Nope!  These are hands down some of the craziest bastards that I have ever had the pleasure to call my friends!  The word Death isn't in the name for no reason ya know!  On a side note, NEVER, EVER, go flat track racing, drunk, at 4am with anyone who has DEATH in their name!  It just doesn't work out in your favor.  One of the highlights of the rally and yes, I have a list of them, was following Mikey in his two wheel drive sidehack and the Jeremiah Weed nuts in their dune buggy on steroids and Jeremiah Lightning on his insane sporty off to HELP FLATTEN the overgrown flat track.  Mikey said "Jack, it's in bad shape", asshole me says, "well we should go see, right now"!  MISTAKE NUMBER ONE FOR STURGIS 2011 on my part!  Did you know that inside the oval of the flat track at the Broken Spoke County Line, there is a motocross track?  No?  Well neither did I!  But guess what?  IN FOURTH GEAR, WHILE CHASING THESE MANIACS, I FOUND IT!  I can also say that I now know for sure that the FXR is the most amazing modern bike Harley ever put out and did you know that they can fly too?  Yeah, I do now too!  Your friend Jack Shit nearly had Death is his title too!  One huge jump, one brutal landing and what I swore were two broken thumbs, I had to heed Jeremiah's warning of "this is really stupid man, really fuckin stupid" and ride back to the lot!

As the week went on I did all I could to make sure that people got to take in at least one wall show and each person that I sent over came right back to me and said "that's the baddest thing I've ever seen"!  They too were absolutely correct!  My schedule was so hectic there that I barely had a moment to get my head straight and I had given the FXR a serious smack down on the flat track.  Well on the part of it that I   managed to find anyway.  The bike was barely running, I blew a fork seal and to make matters worse, the carb was pissing gas out of it!  I had really done a job on her.  With 15 minute breaks between band sets, it is really hard to put your bike back together and with the property being so massive, it took me half that long to walk from one place to another (up until flat track night I had ridden to all these places).  Handsome Charlie Ransom repeatedly told me, "Jack, get that fucking thing over here and let me get a look at it" so I did, then 30 minutes later, I would fire her up and take off, sputtering and spitting my way up the hill!  Eventually, I made it back to the Wall, pulled off the carb and had to run back to work.  Upon my return, I found the entire bike put back together, filled with gas and ready to go.  What an amazing gesture of friendship!  I have got to tell you that being around these guys was amazing.  They truly made my Sturgis Rally 2011.

I can't think of a single night that once the work was done at the Wall, that I did not turn around to be handed a drink or given a hug or to hear my name being screamed at the top of one or more of these maniacs lungs!  They supported me like nothing I have ever seen and I will never forget it!  I was sure as hell not the only one who woke up in the morning more than once with no voice!  I will never forget these guys!  It more or less became a running joke, I would scream "WALL OF DEATH IN THE HOUSE" and they would scream "JACK SHIT".  Incredible memories!

Hands down, one of the highlights of not only the Sturgis Rally at the Broken Spoke but no bullshit, of my life, was when Wahl E. Walker, man I love that name, invited me in to see the show from inside the Wall!  If you have seen the show from the top, you know how amazing it is.  This pales in comparison to being able to see the show from inside.  I know most everyone will never get to experience this and that is truly too bad because it is mind blowing.   These guys are men of honor, respect and loyalty!  They have been at the Spoke for years now on nothing more than a hand shake deal and if you can't RESPECT that, what can you RESPECT?  People who mean what they say and say what they mean, hell, it's virtually unheard of anymore!  This is one cohesive unit, one family and it shows!  Hell, on the final night of the rally, after the food vendors had packed up their tents and trucks these guys even fed me dinner!  Tell me where can you get Spaghetti at a bike rally?  AT THE FUCKING WALL OF DEATH THAT'S WHERE! 

 On the last night of the rally, we were all hanging up on the VIP balcony next to the stage and J. Lightning was killing me with limericks and "poetry" so to speak.  I mean here is this guy who has seen it all, who barely spoke and then in a fury, spit out some of the fastest and funniest shit that I have ever heard in my life!  There are days that I can't remember my phone number and here he is remembering 75 lines from something that he learned as a young guy, incredible!  The entire time there, a documentary was being filmed on the Wall crew and I can't wait to see it, these guys deserve all the good that come their way!

I bet you guys thought that I would forget the FOX IN THE BOX.  Hell no!  What a sweetheart and hard worker as well.  "Don't forget the garlic bread" she said and my night was made!

So next time you see these guys at a fair or a bike rally, dig deep in that pocket, hold your money over the top rail and let them come snatch right out of your hot little hand!  This Sturgis Rally at the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon would have never been the same without the crew from the Wall of Death.  As a friend said to me 2 nights ago, "I applaud and RESPECT YOU"! 

WALL OF DEATH IN THE HOUSE!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit