It's no wonder they want to make it against the law to video police!

So much for my planned vacation to Seattle! Just remember folks, if you don't speak to the officer in a tone that he deems "respectful" or as he says don't "lip off" you will be dragged, tazed and taken to the ground while your mom gets pushed around and then arrested for asking for a superior officer to come to the scene! Imagine having to call the cops, ON THE COPS? Well it is happening more and more! Never in my life did I ever imagine have such disdain, disgust and lack of faith and trust in the Police. My father use to say that it took a level headed man to do the job. Before the cop ever resorted to violence or putting hands on anyone, they always tried to talk first. Why? Because they didn't have Tasers. Now anyone can be a cop and anyone can take you down without having to get closer than 10 feet from someone! It is horrifying who they are letting become police officers these days! Never in my life did I imagine a time when you would have to worry about being attacked by both bad guys and the good guys. Something must be done! These guys (women) must be held accountable for their actions, not just a letter in the file saying that they have been bad! It's all bullshit! Do you think the soldiers will be nice when they lock us up in the "detention camps"?



Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!
Whatever you do, speak nicely to the officer too!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Eat Your Heart Out Is All I Can Say

Anyone who knows me, knows damn well that I am not one to gloat.  I am not one to rub some one's nose in it nor am I one who says "look at me, look at what I got to do"!  Well that is until today!  Today I'm going to gloat a little bit, today I'm going to say LOOK AT WHAT I GOT TO DO!  A few days ago, less than a week for sure, I put up a few pics on my Facebook wall of a sick flattie.  Wait, I'll show you here, right now, the bike that I'm talking about!

LOOK AT THAT BIKE!  To just be close enough to really get a good look at it is incredible.  To be allowed to hop on it, sit on that plunger seat and put your feet up on the floorboards, mind blowing.  To sit on it and remember the old videos of the soldiers training on these bikes and what they were able to do on them, takes your mind to another place and time.  To be allowed to "go ahead and kick it", a pure thrill.  Last weekend, we sat amongst many great chops, stockers and survivors in the freezing garage for probably 4 if not 5 hours bullshitting and just talking bikes, of memories past and planning new ones.  There is something about even sitting next to a bike like this that gives me a tingle in my "special place"!

TODAY THOUGH, THAT ALL CHANGED and what I thought could not get any better proved to me that it can get MUCH, MUCH BETTER!  The bike had been transported down to AZ. for safekeeping while its owner was off conquering the world.  From that night in the garage on, the thought of that bike sitting in the garage had me horrified.  You see the home where it is being stored is up for sale and the thought of people going in and out of the garage and seeing that bike, amongst the others sitting there might be too much for some to handle and entice them in to doing bad things.  All the bikes there are gorgeous, not a one of them you would not be proud to own and ride.  The thing is though, even the Panhead could be replaced with a hefty insurance check, God forbid they were stolen, but that Flattie, how could you ever replace that bike?  Check or no check, it would be virtually impossible to find a bike this bad ass and this pristine.  I had not had a decent night's sleep since that bike was left there.  Finally Brother Mario called and asked, "were you serious about parking that bike at your home"?  I replied, at my home, I'm going to park that fucker INSIDE my home!  He then told me, "then go and get it"!  I was going to run down with a trailer and pick it up when it dawned on me that I sold my truck and no longer have a vehicle with a trailer hitch!  We had to go show the house today to clients, who loved it by the way and I decided that I would ride that rolling work of art home!

I rolled it out of the garage, clicked the choke up halfway, advanced the timing and that 70 year old bike fired on the very first kick!  I let it get up to running temperature, sat on the seat, stepped on the clutch and it DIED!  Son of a bitch!  Got off it, kicked it over, fired it up, sat on the seat and it DIED!  Mother fucker!  It sounded like it was starving for gas and I knew the gas in the tank was very low so I began to look and look and look for the petcock!  WHERE THE HELL IS THE PETCOCK?  Is it possible that it doesn't have one?  I can't seem to find one.  I'm kicking and kicking and kicking and now there is nothing!  Got a nice bright headlight so I know I have power, what in the hell is going on?  The house sits on top of a very high hill so now I have a flash of genius, I'll put it in second, roll it down the hill and bump start it, all good, no problem!  Well it would be no problem if the engine was getting any gas!  So once again, it fired up, I rode it 25 feet and it promptly DIED!  THERE IS NO PUSHING IT BACK UP THE HILL, this I know for sure.  Finally I call and tell him what is going on.  He asks, did you open the petcock?  WHERE IS THE FUCKING PETCOCK?  Oh, that's a petcock?  Who'da thunk it?  If the engine gets gas, the engine will run!  Now the thrilling, amazing, inches added to my penis just pulling down the driveway ride began!  Off I went.  Now I've never ridden a three speed, rocker clutch, tank shift bike in my life, how hard can it be?  Actually, not hard at all.  Got her off the mountain, down the hill and filled with gas and off I rode.  Luckily, the lil woman was in the car and she was able to capture a few shots for posterity!

Holy Sweet 4lb 7oz Baby Jesus was it bad assed!

All I could think of the entire ride was "oh God, please don't let anything happen, please don't let anything happen"!  As I crossed the intersection of Guadalupe and Ellsworth Roads, some stupid bitch, on the phone with a car load of kids made a fast left across 6 lanes and cut right in front of me. I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER FOR BOTH MYSELF AND THE BIKE!  At the very last moment, she saw me, slammed on the brakes, then punched the gas and then finally jammed on the brakes again and stopped right in the middle of the intersection!  It took approximately 2 miles before my balls returned to their original location in my nut sack!  They were somewhere near the base of my throat I believe!  At least that is the last place that I felt them rise to.  Every single car, truck or bike that went past me spun their necks like their heads were going to come off when they seen her going down the road.  At each light that I stopped at, someone would roll down the window and ask me what year it was and with big smiles say "my God, it's amazing"!  I've gotten this a lot while riding the knuckle but I've never seen anything like this.  What blew me away were the old timers.  It's what we call here in AZ, SNOWBIRD season and we got lots and lots of old fuckers running the roads.  The look on their faces as I rolled up next to them at traffic lights spoke volumes.  That bike going down the road today brought back a flood of memories for a few old guys in pick up trucks with Army stickers in the windows and on the bumpers and I got to be part of it!

I rode that thing so gently!  It was like the first time I was ever handed a new born baby!  I was terrified and astonished at the very same time!  Today, my Brother Mario made a dream come true for me and I'll never forget it!  I've had the honor and the pleasure of riding some of the most beautiful choppers that have ever put two wheels to pavement, like the one he made me ride the other night by saying "hey, if you don't want to ride it and just be a bitch, well, I'm okay with that"!  This bike here!

When I rolled back in to my driveway last Friday night on this sick Pan, I could not wipe the smile from my face.  I shut her down and the only words that came out of my mouth were "man, I've never felt so cool in all my life as I just did rolling down the street on this"!  Well I have to correct that statement after today!  I don't know of anything that could make me feel as amazing as I did today riding that Flattie!

In our life, a tremendous amount of bad has happened and Diane and I have survived a great deal and no matter what, we've always pushed forward.  Countless times, I've thought to myself and I've even asked aloud, when will things get better?  We've dedicated our lives to keeping 100% perfect Karma and are just waiting for it to come back around.  I've come to realize that it's not the "things" we get in return or get back, that is our good Karma coming back on us, but the very people who have come in to our lives and share their time with us!  The kindness, the generosity, the support and THE LOVE that these people share with us, that right there is our COSMIC REWARD!  That right there is our Karma coming back to us!  Every now and again, friends talk about the fantasy of winning the lottery and I always say, "I never play, I never buy tickets"!  I'd never put too much thought in to it and when I did, I just figured our luck is so shitty and so bad that we would never have a chance to win, so why waste the dollar to play?  More and more lately though, I realize, that we've already WON THE LOTTERY!  We are surrounded by the most amazing people that anyone could ever wish to be surrounded by.  Of course a scumbag, a user, a rat, a liar or a flat out fake fuck will sneak through the cracks but they are quickly found out and cut loose.  Most times we are no worse off then before that trash entered our lives.  On occasion, unfortunately we are and those are the lessons in life that you learn from.  It also helps you to realize just how amazing the "real" people in your life are!  So even though at times, we may be a couple of broke bitches, we are extremely wealthy where it counts and we are blessed!

For those of you who we share our time with, who we make those memories with and with whom we look forward to a future with, all I can say from the bottom of my heart is "you guys were our winning powerball ticket"!  Thank you for all you do and for who you are!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I'd piss on them too!

I THINK BEFORE ANYONE GETS REALLY UPSET, THINK ABOUT THIS;  MAYBE THESE FINE UPSTANDING TALIBAN MEMBERS WERE ON FIRE AND OUR HONORABLE MARINES JUST HELPED TO PUT THE FIRE OUT?  Did you think about that?

Okay, some of you are going to be pissed at what I write here and some of you will agree. I've always promised that I would be honest with you no matter what the repercussions and I will never break that promise. I am listening to all opinions and you guys and gals know damn well that I have an open mind so I'm still willing to hear your side of this. But for now, here is my side.

WAR IS A MOTHER FUCKER! There ain't no two ways about it. We expect these men and women who have been dropped in to a big giant kitty litter box in Afghanistan to act like they are at a Sunday Church function. Well I have news for you, they are not! Is it okay that these guys were trying to kill these Marines? Is it okay that these extremists use women and children to hide behind? Is it okay that these guys give children bombs to carry over to the our soldiers and then detonate them? Is it okay that these Marines are ambushed at damn near every turn? Is it okay that when an an American or any other Allied soldier is captured that he is tortured, beheaded and then their remains dragged and paraded through the streets for all to spit on and to be beat with their shoes? FUCK NO IT'S NOT! So then you tell me what is the big God damned deal that after these Marines did battle and I'm sure that it was a hell of a battle with these guys, because they are usually entrenched and in fortified positions and our troops walk right in to it with no cover. They are then forced to fight for their lives while they watch their comrades die by their sides and they must continue to fight and fight or DIE! So I ask, what is the big fucking deal?

I can tell you this with out any question or reservations, if you try to kill me, my friends or my family and YOU FAIL and I kill you and I just happen to have to urinate, you can be damn straight that I'm going to piss on your corpse! Later if I find where you are buried, I will go there and piss too! These "fighters", notice that I did not call them soldiers, have no honor, no pride and no sense of commitment, they fight for the Taliban because they have nothing else to do, they have no life, they have no belongings, they don't have shit. They are illiterate, nearly every single one of them and they believe whatever fantasy they are told by those who are too afraid to fight and die themselves. So their own countrymen send them off to die. I SAY PISS ON ALL OF THEM! None of our Marines or Soldiers want to be there, none asked to go there but yet they are there and they have to live, fight and survive in horrid conditions, so what, they pissed on the men who tried to kill them!

I've heard people state that "this is going to effect our standing in the eyes of the world"! Well ya know what, I say fuck them too! I am so sick and tired of America having to be the world's police department. Every time something happens, every time a nation needs help, we are the first to help. We donate more than any country on earth when there is a catastrophe, we send aid workers to the most God awful places on the earth as volunteers and when the shit hits the fan, we are the first to send troops. Yet no matter what, WE ARE THE GREAT SATAN! We are the "monsters" of the world. I'm so sick and tired of hearing it. So I say this to all the Marines and American soldiers that read this blog where they are stationed, drink lots of water and gatorade, stay hydrated and after you kill these mother fuckers, PISS AWAY! Hell, I say next time, TAKE A GOOD SHIT ON THEM! Just make sure you get that on tape too. I don't care what anyone says, your friend Jack Shit is proud of everything that you do. Who the hell are we to complain about what these guys are doing? Did you volunteer to go? Yeah, didn't think so!



So c'mon, let the hate mail fly! Until we see each other again on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Remember these guys from my writings?

Sort of like the happy ending to my story from a few months ago, WHO THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE?  If you've read me regularly, you will know these guys immediately and remember the story, if not, now you know the title of the post to go look for.   

So how's everyone doing today? I just got back from the post office where I dropped off another big stack of boxes and packages filled with I Know Jack Shit shirts, so if you ordered some, they are on their way towards you as you read this. Not too long ago, I wrote a piece on the blog about coming to the rescue of my friend, who was the tour manager for the band Rains. They had just began a leg of the number one tour in America with Five Finger Death Punch and were being held hostage by a lunatic bus driver on a power trip. They had gone from California to Arizona where we were going to meet in Scottsdale and party the night away. Instead, the bus driver got his tampon in a twist and pulled the bus over in to a truck stop in Phoenix, backed the bus in to a spot between two semi's and refused to move it! What a way to start a tour! The story had to be told and here is a link to the original story http://jackshitsworld.blogspot.com/2011/10/who-fuck-do-people-think-they-are.html .... With the bus being such an important part of the story, I was thrilled to see the brand new video from the band. Not only do I love this song, but I love the entire album. As I am looking at what is above, I dropped a link in but I don't know if it is clickable or not, I'm not exactly savvy at this internet shit!

Anyway, I just thought that I would share this video from a great group of guys who have become friends. My only beef with the video is that there is not one single I Know Jack Shit shirt in the damn thing! The bus from hell is featured prominently though!




Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

TO PROTECT AND SERVE MY ASS!

THEN AGAIN, THAT STATEMENT DOES HOLD TRUE. Only it is to Protect and Serve each other, not us! I'll share something that perhaps you don't know about me. I've posted something about it briefly in the past but I'll say it again. Nearly every single man in my family and shockingly, nearly myself are and were Police Officers. They were men of honor who took a horrible paying public service job so that they could protect people from criminals, stop rapists and solve murders so that another would not be committed. They were all what would be considered "super cops". They were not the guys who hid behind billboards to jump out and write tickets in speed traps. I can remember speaking to my father during his last days, about the job that he devoted his entire life to. I asked if he regretted the choice that he had made with his life and if he felt as if he had made a difference? He knew in his heart that he had but he also said that he was glad that he had retired when he did because the men and women that were "on the job" now, were nothing like the people in the past who had chosen the job. There are and will always be "bad" cops but what bothered him was that the folks joining the police departments now were unstable lunatics to say the very least in the kindest way. He would laugh and ask "who is charge of the psych tests now"? By what standard are they using to pass?

This video is yet another example of the fucks who believe that they are above the law. They commit the very crimes that they would arrest any person on the street for. Crimes serious enough to spend a decade or more behind bars and when they are caught, they use fear and intimidation against the very people that they are sworn to protect to keep them from testifying or in this case, to destroy the video evidence! It seems my friends that the lunatics are in charge of the asylum!

I grew up with nothing but love and respect for the people who chose this life. I knew that they were just men and women doing a job and they never took their work home with them. Those days are gone. I don't trust the police nor my government any longer. I nearly spent the rest of my life in the gray bar hotel because of a crooked cop and none of these videos shock me any longer, but they still need to be shared! Stand up and don't let these scumbags get away with this shit!




Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass.

Your friend,
Jack Shit

The Best Gift That I Never Got!

Confused, excited, stunned, intrigued, shocked and thrilled were just a few of the emotions that I was feeling as I slowly approached. Could it really be? Has this happened? This is the kind of thing you read about in a fiction novel or you see on the news because it is so rare that people do these kinds of things, but was it happening to me, this very Saturday? At first, I was just frozen as I stood there. I took a few steps closer and closer until I finally made it all the way to the street. I walked in a circle and each of those emotions and more were filling my mind and body. Each car or mini van that drove by with the neighbors would stare at me as they passed, envious I thought. Perhaps it was time to go put pants on? I guess the best look for me is not Under Armour underwear, black socks and Al Qaeda shoes with no shirt. I also came quickly to the realization that it was certainly not the "perfect look" for standing in the middle of the street that runs through the heart of my PREDOMINANTLY Mormon neighborhood!

I was afraid to walk away for fear that it would disappear from sight, but I had no choice, I had to go back in the house and put some pants and a shirt on! I had only awoken 5-10 minutes before and had quickly leaped out of bed when I heard Diane's announcement, there was no time to dress. Now I had no choice in the matter, I had to put some clothes on before some one called the police and I have to spend the rest of my life registering as a sex offender for standing in the street in my Boxer Briefs!

I raced in, asked Diane rapid questions as I pulled the jeans that I had worn last night quickly back on and refused to believe her that she was not the one responsible. I slipped my feet back in to the old Al Qaeda shoes and pulled my shirt down over my head as I made my way to and out the front door. It was still there, right there, right in front of my home. There is NEVER anything in front of my home. I had to ask, why this, why now and HOW? The following is what I saw and how I saw it when I returned fully dressed to the street. Once the video is over, go to the bottom of this post and I will give you the full, heartbreaking details of what my investigation uncovered!





Well as it turns out.... this was not mine! This was not ours! This was not a gift at all. As a matter of fact, this right here was the VERY BEST GIFT THAT I NEVER, EVER GOT! I was so damn close too. I also had good reason to believe it. Some might ask, what in the world would ever make you even think that you would deserve this type of a gesture? 99.9 times out of a 100, the thought would have never entered my mind. I mean really the odds have to be even less than that. What lit my fuse were two things. First, the way Diane was so emotionless as she told me about it, this was unlike her. The only time she acts like this is when she has done something incredible for me and is trying to keep a surprise and a straight face. I have to give her credit on this one, she was really a good actor, or so I thought. The other was that the night before, we were being told a story by our friend with whom we were having dinner. He had been interrupted by the waiter and the manager of the restaurant a few times, but always returned to telling the story and finishing it. The punchline if you will, was that as a way of saying thank you for your help to someone, this friend gave another friend his 1949 pick up truck. I was blown away as I listened to the story. All I could think was "THIS GUY IS NOTHING BUT CLASS"! He is very much like Diane and I are. He, like us, is a giver much more than a taker. He loves to share as do we. What we have been blessed with is shared with the people we love. The night before he slept over but got up in the morning and hopped on his sick Panhead and rolled off. Three hours later we awoke to this in our street. Holy shit, he really wanted to share that story about the truck with us, was this the reason why?

NO IT WAS NOT! As it turns out, the truck belongs to a 71 year old man. It was his first truck that he ever owned and has it to this day. He is a mason who was building a block wall across the street from our home. Why the hell he was parked where he was, I have no idea. NO ONE EVER PARKS THERE! That was another thing that stirred my imagination. Turns out that his wife picked him up and took him to lunch and that was why it just sat there with no one around and believe it or not, keys in the ignition! The key in the damn ignition, yet another reason that I thought this was MINE! Once again, it was not! As I walked in to the house, confused and heartbroken, the old man and his wife pulled up across the street. We spoke for a bit and I told him that I was about to take it for a ride and the old guy said "to hell you are"..... feisty old Mormon mason that he is! I told him what I thought happened and he looked at me with a blank stare and asked "what kind of person just gives away old trucks, no one would do that"? I said a great person would and I know of one great person who just has! So stick that in your pipe you old, miserable, opinionated prick! Don't you say a bad thing about my friend or I'll take your truck and drive it straight up your ass! I was confident because I think I can take him! If the fight gets too rough, I'll just break his old hip!

Hope you enjoyed!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit