LADIES LOVE MY PICKLE!

Before you start writing me notes, messages and leave comments oh here, wondering what ladies are loving on my pickle, I'll tell ya!   I had mixed feelings on the whole sordid affair.  My guilt was eating me alive and it was getting harder and harder to keep the entire thing a secret!  Imagine if you would that guilty pleasure of having secret sex on the side with someone who is really unattractive but the best sex that you have ever had.  Typically, you would go to one an other's home, meet in dark alley ways or at the park in the woods, LATE AT NIGHT!  This was not the girl you took out to the clubs with you or out for an expensive, romantic dinners or God forbid, take them to meet your friends but that is just what I did and I have such fond feelings that are growing in to so much more!  I am coming clean to everyone, I may have strayed and be falling in love with another! 

Our relationship became so powerful that I didn't care who knew about us!  I took her out to meet my friends.  At first I could see them leaning in to each other and whispering, then pointing and I think my mistress knew it too!  Well she was going to show them!  That ol' girl performed so flawlessly and showed me things I did not know existed!  The other guys were no longer looking at her ugly nose or bad make up but looking at the way "she strut her shit" and I found myself being less ashamed and more proud, "YEAH,THAT'S MY GIRL"!  As you may or may not know, two weeks ago I took a last minute trip to California for Born Free 3, while travelling together we learned so much more about each other.  Believe me, I know you are thinking that we can become blinded by something we don't normally experience or something we didn't even know was missing our entire life!  On occasion, that something new you are only going to do briefly, then end it and keep it a secret grabs hold of you and it's traction is so amazing that you can't break it lose if you try!   Early on, you can't stop thinking about the girl you left back at home and what would she think, how painful would it be, if she saw what we were doing ?  The problem was that not only were there an incredible amount of people at Born Free 3, but a great many who knew me and knew that my partner for the weekend was not the sexy ass bitch I normally appear with.   2 weekends ago, we became a couple and there was nothing that I could do about it!  The whole world found out.  I could keep the time we were spending together a secret anymore, hell all kinds of people took pics of us together.  Most "friends" didn't address it, others did.  Nearly every conversations would start with "so what's the deal man"?  Where's your girl? 

Being good friends, some may not have agreed with what I was doing but didn't bust my balls about it too bad.  Others questioned my judgement or said "she don't compare" and things like that.  I took it in stride.  With each moment that would pass, I would glance over and shockingly catch others checking her out.  I could feel a little bit of pride well up in me.... "yeah, she's with me".... I would think.  I cut out of Born Free 3 and head back to the campground about 25 minutes earlier than everyone else.  We got there and we were totally alone.  Looking at her cooling down next to the lake, I realized that it was hard to betray my girl but what's a guy to do.  I'm not getting any younger.  We can all agree on that right?  Show me someone who is?

We came back from Orange County and snuck back in to Phoenix in the middle of the night, just shy of 4 am.  At first, I didn't say anything.  I just watched and waited.  I waited for the emails to come and the pictures to begin popping up all over the net, but they didn't.  I think the longer that this remained largely unknown to many, to bigger the toll it took on my gut, on my heart and on my soul, it was eating me alive and this is why right here, right now, I AM COMING CLEAN TO THE WHOLE WORLD!

Today was the final straw.  What took me by total surprise today was rolling up to an event and watching the girls go ape shit for her.  I mean wow, they walked right up and said how hot she was and were rubbing their hands all over her!  I stood there, mouth open wide, in shock!  She certainly wasn't fighting it, I really believe that she loved the attention she was getting from all of these ladies!  While I didn't say anything, I call could thing was "oh hell yeah", "this is going to be an interesting event".  I was only there for a few moments when I was asked if it was okay if they did a photo shoot with my new girl and all the pinup girls.  I was speechless.  "Yeah, I guess so", "really, are you sure, you aren't fucking with me are you"?  No, they were serious.  I grabbed a beer and those who know me, know damn well, I don't drink beer.  I guess I was just a bit nervous.  They took photos, hundreds and hundreds of photos.  Without exaggeration, there had to be at least 7 cameras flashing at the same time and a few cell phones capturing a few shots casually.   I stood just out of frame and that's when I heard, hey Jack Shit, c'mon man, you are missing out, don't you want to get in the mix?  C'mon man, get in "the group"!  HOLY SHIT!  This was worth all the trouble I was going to be in!  I mean honestly folks, if this was happening to you, would you even stop to think about your girl at home?  That's what I thought! 

The secret is out to everyone now!  So many photos were taken today and they are already popping up on line and on face book.  I may as well beat everyone to it and share a few myself! 

SO I'M COMING CLEAN, and I am going to break the news to the world myself rather than read about it here or see it on TMZ.  I love my FXRS!  To my knuckehead KOKO, I'm sorry.  Not only did I stray, but I enjoyed it, hell, I loved it.  To be quite honest, I am going to do it again and again.  Hell, I may not take you for a good, long, hard ride for sometime!  The way she performed on our trip to California two weeks ago, the way I could twist her and turn her and the way I could lay her over to either side was like nothing I ever experienced before.  I didn't know this was missing from my life but now that I know it was, how can I ever be expected to stop?  I just hope that our mutual love and respect will hold us together and you find yourself willing to now live in an open relationship, because I'm open to it!  I have gotten past how she looked and fallen in love with her soul!  It's a beautiful soul!  So friends, don't hate me for what I have done, just try to understand me for it.  Please, don't judge me!

While on the trip, everyone started calling you the pickle, then the green pickle and you just shook it off, you didn't let it bother you at all.  By the end of the trip, you were the Green Pickle Sickle and you earned it!  What I find shocking is how much the ladies love my pickle?  I still can't get over it.  What I am more shocked about is how many men admire my pickle.  It is still weird to hear someone ask, do you mind if I sit on your pickle?  HELL YEAH I MIND, I hardly even know you!

Everyone have a great weekend and until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

They are still out there!

Don't give up hope!  If you allow them to find you and open the door when they knock, there are still exceptional people walking this earth.  I know that with times getting harder and harder each day, the ugly in people is really rising to the top and rearing "its ugly head", so to speak.  With each day that passes, a feeling of sadness lay in the bottom of my gut.  Every day, I hear of another story of some one, formerly a dear friend, who has thrown that away for what seems like next to nothing!  It breaks my heart to hear stories of betrayal, lies and out right deception that people share with me!  Screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice then shame on me, should be the mantra that we go through each day with.  That being said, it is difficult to be that hard nosed, heartless monster that can no longer forgive and forget but what are you supposed to do?  At what point do you draw the line in the sand and cut that person loose?  At what point do you decide that you will no longer allow anyone in your life to hurt you?  AT WHAT POINT? 

I too have gone through periods in my life where betrayal and deceit were so crushing to me that it was hard to acquire the strength the raise my head and get out of bed in the morning.  I pulled up my big boy pants and moved on with each day but could not shake the "why" question that was gnawing at the back of my brain.  You know what?  In nearly every single case, you will never know why people do what they do and that sucks.  For some time, I swore that I was done, that I had enough people in my life that I loved and that loved me and they would never, under any circumstances hurt my family.  The problem for me was simple though, I love people!  I missed meeting new people, I missed hearing new tales around a fire, I missed learning from others mistakes, oh hell, I just missed widening the circle of people that I could give back to and pay it forward!  I answered a few knocks on the door and I can say that I am glad that I did.  In the last few years, opening that door has allowed me to open my heart and in return I have gained some friends that I would not nor could not imagine not having in my life for the rest of it!  Sure, maybe one out of 100 that you meet will be one of those people who remain friends till they hold your hand, or you hold theirs at the side of a death bed!  People ask me if I think it is worth the hassle of going through the 99 and it is no easy answer but I have come to the realization that it is!  How can it be you ask?  Well it has to be, otherwise we would never find that 1 in a 100!

In what is the worst economy and the worse times since the great depression and while so many people break your heart and disappoint you, others will step up and their actions will blow your mind!  I suggest that you give some one the chance to do just that.  You can't find the diamonds without first digging through layers of rock, and dirt and shit and so on and so on, you get my point, but the pay off is, THE DIAMONDS ARE THERE!  So I say do a little mining, the pay off will be worth it.  I also suggest that once you open the mine that you have a security guard there to protect your interests and have him carry a big stick and a reliable pistol!  HEY, YA NEVER KNOW! 

That is just a little JACKSHITLOSOPHY for ya this Friday night!  I hope everyone has a great weekend and stays cool and safe out on those murdersickles.  In life, like respect, friendship is never just given, it is earned, so give some one the chance to earn yours!

In the next day or so, I will be breaking some Sturgis news that will hopefully make us all happy!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Sometimes Mother Nature just full on kicks you in the balls!

I THINK THAT PICTURE SUMS UP MY FEELINGS ON THE EVENTS OF THIS EVENING!

Since moving to AZ. 6 years ago, I have seen some incredible storms.  I have seen snow covered mountains in Phx., in April, I have seen rivers form within moments in the middle of the desert and I have seen monsoons and lightning like never before in my life.  I have also seen dust storms or as I learned tonight, HABOOBS, before as well.  But never before have I ever seen anything like tonight's storm!  If you look at my earlier posts from tonight, you can see the video of the storm rolling in and striking like Chuck Norris' balled up fist!  I had to capture some photos and I hope you enjoy them.  Also, check out the national news, this time AZ, made the news for something other than immigration laws or shootings!  The shots and videos that were taken from helicopters are nothing short of spectacular!

 This photo is of Diane's windshield only a few moments in to the storm and this was parked in a carport covered and blocked on three sides!  Oh boy was there more to come.

It actually looks like it is snowing!  It was the blizzard of the summer of 2011

Holy Bat Shit!  We also had about 14 drops of rain to turn the dust in to cement, it was a nice touch!

This was the insult to the injury!  Doesn't it look like one of those bikes you always hear about?  THE BARN BIKE, found after 70 years under some hay bales and an old cloth tarp!  Problem is, it is a 2010!

Here is the real bitch of it all!  Instead of keeping my bike in the garage, I kept my buddies bagger in there.  He was kind enough to loan me the bike so I had to safeguard it.  I pulled it out, washed it, cleaned the shit out of it and then put a nice fresh coat of wax on it.  Diane had clients in town from Canada today, so I went with them to see some condos and figured when I got home I would ride the bike back over and return it.  When I got home, my buddy Jay was waiting in the driveway for me.  We bullshitted for a bit and were hanging in the back yard and I was showing him how nice the yard and the pool came out!  We had people over yesterday for the fourth and I actually shop vac'd the patio and the concrete decking all the way around the pool.  Really wise idea as it turns out!  As you can see, I didn't quite make it over to my friend Daryl's house tonight.  Had my buddy Jay not shown up, I would have gotten on the bike and ridden directly in to that storm!

Look at the bottle of wax and the rag still sitting on the damn tank!  Boy oh boy the universe sure has some sense of humor don't it?  If you think this looks like shit, take a look at the rest of this shit!

It looks like I just drove a thousand miles in a blizzard behind ice and rock salt covered tractor trailers!

Here is the view from inside my truck!  Tonight was just insane.  I am seeing reports and videos of horrible accidents from vehicles crashing at full speed in to stopped vehicles in front of them.  I hope and pray that everyone is okay out there and all of my friends and extended family have made it home safely to the ones that they love and those that love them!

I think that this photo above pretty much sums up my feelings on the whole thing.  I just once again hung up the phone with George The Painter, he is on Jay Kroll's Road King trying to ride back from California.  So in other words, he is driving directly, head on in to it.  The truly wild part is that rather than the storm hitting and getting smaller, it is truly "snowballing" and growing larger and larger as it rolls across the desert.  Once you get past Phoenix, it is nothing but open desert for hundreds of miles and he is now in a place called Desert Center.  It is a town that literally has died.  So that skinny prick is in a ghost town, hunkered down in an abandoned building wearing his helmet and glasses and he isn't even riding.  Like the saying goes, "there are no atheists in foxholes"!  I checked the radar and told him not to worry, he doesn't have to wonder what lay ahead.  DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT LIE AHEAD!  So in that shell of a building he shall stay for a while!

The storm died down and Jay and I went outside and started shooting pics, we were stunned.  He leaned over the tour pack of the bike and blew hard and a huge cloud of dust flew in to the air.  This gave me a great idea.  I will just back the truck in to the street and tear off down the road!  Simple right?  That will blow the dirt off just as easily as it blew on.  Well, it was a great theory.  Did it work?  OF COURSE IT DIDN'T WORK.  I had forgotten about the 14 drops of rain that we got to go with the HABOOB!  That pretty much was the same as opening up a bag of quickcrete, dumping it on the truck and spraying it with the hose.  The truck is pretty much covered in cement now!

Now the truly amazing part is, I LOVE LIVING HERE!  I have never lived any place like the desert and I don't think that I would give it up.  I've seen things here that I have never seen before and each and every day brings something new.  This is now my home, so mother nature, the universe, bring it on bitches and throw at me what you will, you can not, you will not break us!  I'm not sure that my pool filter is taking the same position that I am, but hey, it's on its own!  I'll leave you with a few shots from around the valley.  First though, let me show you a shot of what happens when you just point the camera up in to the black sky, what you see here looks like a blizzard, it however is not snow, IT'S FUCKING DIRT!

It was brutal to stand outside.  You could not take a breath because you feel the weight of the silt like dust fill your lungs and you could barely open your eyes because the wind driven dirt felt as if you were being sand blasted!  I want you to keep in mind when looking at this above photo that we did not go outside to begin taking photos until the storm and its intensity had dropped by 95% at the very least.  I feel for those stuck outside in it with no where to go, GTP for example.... Here are some shots in closing....

If you have ever been to AZ., this photo above is a shot of OLD TOWN SCOTTSDALE!

Until we see each other again,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Incredible what a storm brings!

Storms are few and far between here in Arizona, but when they come, HOLY SHIT, do they come. Tonight we had a damn near biblical storm. As the storm was dying down, I went out back to check on damage and my pool. The damage was not nearly as bad as I thought and I was grateful. The pool is a huge mess and the yard was pretty much turned upside down. I noticed that a newspaper was about to blow in to the pool so I ran over to grab it. I was stunned with what I found! I hope you all did okay and survived this monster. Check out the blog post just prior to this if you want to see the actual storm itself. I am going to put up some photos of the aftermath as well. Check this shit out!

js

az dust storm

I will make this short and sweet.... words can't describe what we just went through!!! This was 2 thousand feet tall, 50 miles wide, about 40 miles deep and moved at between 50 - 65 mph! I only caught this by accident. I was in the back yard screwing around with the dog and I looked up and over the roof, it looked like a wall of smoke from a fire. This came without any warning at all! After you guys check this out, I am going to post some photos, you won't believe this shit! For those of you who experience snow storms and blizzards, that is what this way, but rather than snow, it was DIRT!!!

UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN,
KEEP THE WIND IN YOUR FACE
TITS IN YOUR BACK
AND THE MAN OFF YOUR ASS!

YOUR FRIEND,
JACK SHIT