This last month, I went to the doctor, the same doctor that I've been seeing for more than 8 years and I walk in the door and put a urine collection cup on the counter. I knew the answer, but I had to ask, "what's that for"? Well sir, you've been randomly selected by our computer for drug testing. It is amazing how damn near every single month, I'm "randomly" selected. You would think after 8 years of passing these fucking tests for them they would just realize that I'm not ON DRUGS! Not only that, but I took a monster piss just prior to leaving my house and it would be hours before I'd ever have to go again, I was not going to wait hours in the doctor's office to take a piss and I flipped the hell out! I let in to the girl, a girl I'd never seen before at this office and tore her a new asshole and it didn't phase her in one bit, she just handed me the cup! Diane was laughing her ass off and at the same time begging me to quiet down. I bitched in the lobby, at the desk, on the scale for the official weigh in (like I'm going in to a prize fight), while getting my blood pressure taken and even boiling mad, just so you guys don't worry about me, it was still good and finally when the person in charge walked in. I just pissed and moaned, ranted and raved about screw this and enough of that and I didn't see the old lady get handed a "random" cup etc etc.
Today had to be the topper of it all though. We had to run up to Peoria to show a friend a home that he and his wife were considering purchasing. I noticed something stuck to the top of my robo garbage can. I knew we were running late as we had to meet an appraiser as well, but I had to see what the hell was taped to my can. THIS WAS TAPED TO MY CAN!
Soldiers are dying, kids go hungry, 43 million Americans are now on food stamps, the economy is in the toilet and we are still at around 9% nationally in unemployment but the GARBAGE CAN INSPECTORS are gainfully employed and don't worry folks, they are here to protect us from ourselves, whether we like it or not! I can't begin to put in to words just how fucking sick and tired I am of all of this ridiculous bullshit! I really have had about all one can take. I am done, revolution is calling and next week, I WILL MAKE MY STAND and I will throw two Coke cans in! As I type this, Forrest Gump is once again playing on tv in the background and all I can think is how much better off we'd all be with him holding the positions some of these other fools hold! These are just magical times we are living in my friends. Enjoy them before you are "randomly" selected for something you can't stand too!
Until we see each other on the road again,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS and out of your garbage cans!