It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!



Saturday, July 28, 2012

You may want to seek forgiveness in advance!

We are now only days away from the official start of the 72nd annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and I am strangely calm.  I've been trying to rest up, save my voice as best as possible and get my shit together.  It's easy to throw a great party when it is an anniversary year at a rally such as this.  After all, Sturgis is Mecca to us bikers and each and every year anywhere between 400,000 to nearly a million people show up to party!  On the non anniversary years,  the crowds are to the lower side of that estimate and we are forced to work twice as hard to entertain you all.  As the rally ends, everyone takes a bit of time off and then the planning for the next rally begins.  Everyone at the BROKEN SPOKE has worked tirelessly this year to make this the most amazing time you've ever had in Sturgis.  When they are not expecting record numbers or MASSIVE crowds, the rallies are referred to as "soft rallies" and to me, those are my favorite.  Because we are not overrun, I get to actually spend a bit of time with my friends who've come to the Spoke to hang out!  As of this moment, I've yet to have ever even dipped a toe in to the giant pool at the Spoke.  YES, REALLY!!!  Not even a single damn toe, this year, that is going to change.  There are many things that made me fall in love with the COUNTY LINE BROKEN SPOKE SALOON but what I think did it more than anything is the actual property itself.  More than 600 acres of rolling green grass watched over by the mystical and magical Bear Butte welcome you as you arrive.  There is no way to explain the feeling that overtakes you as you enter that property.  As the event begins and you see the property that lays dormant for 11 months of the year come back to life and the mini city begin to grow from the great lawns an anticipation comes over me that is difficult to put in to words.

Last year was the very first time that I had the opportunity and the great honor of hosting the Sturgis Rally at the Campground and it was one of the highlights of my life.  Now I pulled that off not even knowing the proverbial lay of the land and now my friends, I do!  People were stunned with the shit that I pulled last year and for the first time ever, I heard a phrase repeated to me over and over again.  It caught me so off guard that I even spoke to the boss about it.  I'm use to being told, great run, great ride, great event etc, etc, etc, but a phrase that I've never heard uttered so many times, by so many different people struck my heart last year, that phrase was GREAT PARTY!  Great party man, kick ass fucking party man, best party I've ever been to and things like that.  I realized that we weren't just the host of a gathering but we were the people throwing the best party in Sturgis and that my friends fucking rocks!  With great power comes great responsibility and we've taken the responsibility of showing you all the very best time you've ever had.  Jay Allen told me the very first time that I came to work for him, "Jack, what we do here at the BROKEN SPOKEBroken Spoke is make memories" and I have never forgotten those words that he spoke to me.  He also told me when I asked him what he expected of me and that answer was just as moving, "Jack, I want you to welcome each of these people as if you were welcoming them in to your own home, these are our guests, our home is their home" and this is the philosophy that I take in to each and every single event that I'm lucky enough to do with the Broken Spoke Saloon.  Great lessons learned from a great man and I will never forget them.  So just what do we have planned for you this year at the Campground?  Well funny you ask, allow me to give you just a hint.

For the last few weeks I've been getting messages about camping from people who have never camped with us at The Spoke such as, if I get in late, will there be a place for me to camp?  I just laugh a little and explain to them that no matter what, we will always have room for anyone who shows up!  One of my favorite things and I know that it is many people's favorite thing is the fact that when you check in, you are not given a ten by ten camp spot with a number, you get your wristband, go through the gate and you are free to set up camp damn near anyplace you like, take as much room as you need or want and stake your claim!  Some like to be in the thick of things and set up camp to be the first in the pool in the morning or closest to the main bar.  Others like to set up camp down by hot rod lake and others who are huge fans of our spotless bathrooms like to set up near the bath houses and laundry rooms.  Another great thing that I love about The Spoke is that we don't ask you how many times do you think you will take a shower while you are with us and then charge you for it.  I mean fucking really folks, when is enough, enough?  Do you think you will be taking a shit each day?  Okay, well that is another 19 dollars.  I say fuck that shit!  I'm asked "Jack, how much does it cost to park a bike at The Spoke?  Here is another thing that makes me fucking nuts....  it is after all a motorcycle rally, how the fuck do you charge people to park a bike?  So the answer to that is NOTHING, we never charge to park bikes, that is just ridiculous!  The question that I've been asked most though is "what are you going to pull off this year you sick bastard"?  Well don't worry, I've got some serious debauchery planned for you twisted maniacs!  First and foremost though is the entertainment and holy good God have we got an incredible rally planned for you all!  The hardest working, best team in Sturgis has already been working for months to knock this out of the park for you guys. 

HERE IS A LINK TO ALL THINGS ENTERTAINMENT THIS YEAR.

The one and only Uncle Kracker will be blowing up the main stage.
We've also brought in one of the most rocking bands of all time that has been blowing up bike rallies again for the last few years and we are honored to have NIGHTRANGER decimating the main stage of The Spoke!
Now don't worry country music fans, we've got you covered too!  Country music superstar Joe Nichols will be joining us on the main stage in the great field of The Spoke.  If the name doesn't quite ring a bell for some of you rockers, everyone knows his hits like Tequila Makes Her Clothes Come Off!  Brothers, let me offer you some advice here even if you are not a huge fan of country music and that advice is this.....  BE THERE FOR THIS SHOW because I can only imagine the mass volume of lovely ladies who will be turned on from watching this show and looking for a bad ass on a Harley to take them for a ride afterwards!  For some reason, the ladies seem to love this guy, I've not quite put my finger on why they lose their minds over him yet, but I have a feeling I'll know soon enough.
We've also brought back a band that is one of the best live performance bands that I've ever had the pleasure to work with.  The very first time that I got to see them perform live I was stunned.  I had no idea of how many of their songs I even knew.  Very rarely at an event do I ever stop working.  When the headline band comes on, I usually run off to work on something else or prepare for when the show ends and it is once again my turn to take the mic.  The first time I was working and these guys began to play, I had no choice but to stop and just listen and enjoy the show.  THE BROKEN SPOKE SALOON is proud to announce the return of the one and only, Kentucky Head Hunters!

So I was going to throw up a whole bunch more pics and links and shit to so much more in the works for the party but it seems that Google just bitch slapped me and said that I am allowed no more space and that I have used my free quota of space up.....  damn, I thought we were over this shit already!

So allow me to just remind you that we are hosting the first annual, MISS BROKEN SPOKE CONTEST and I am telling you that right now, we have at least 25 stunning contestants lined up for this contest!  The entire property will be staffed once again by the best bar staff in the industry, our lovely ladies, our Bad Ass Marine and our own fire breathing bar tenders will all be there from open to close to serve you.  Daily contests like tricycle races, The Spoke Summer Suck Off, That's my man - I think, Honey I'm home and Swing your hose just to name a few!  The Chopping Block who joined us for the first time during Daytona Bike Week is making a triumphant return to THE SPOKE and hosting a bike show, party and hell, they even have their own bar!  The only THE POOL in Sturgis does our pool no justice whatsoever!  We are proud and humbled once again to be the host to THE WALL THAT HEALS, the rolling VietNam memorial wall.  Unless you have been in its presence, I can't begin to tell you the power that it holds.  Returning to THE SPOKE our dear friends, America's original extreme sport, The American Motordrome's WALL OF DEATH and in my opinion these guys are the hardest working team in the industry!  I could go on and on and on but I don't want you guys to have to read a novel here, I just want to let you know a few of the things we've got planned for you at the WORLD FAMOUS BROKEN SPOKE SALOON!

I can't wait to see you all again, we are going to have a blast.  If half the people who have told me that they are coming to stay with us at THE SPOKE show up, we are in for some serious shit!  So as the post of this title reads, you may want to head off to church or have a nice long talk with whatever higher power you hold dear and let them know that you are going to lose your mind and probably do some really inappropriate shit!  Do as I do and get forgiven before you even fire the bike up!  This way, you are covered.  Upon your return, if you get away with it all, throw an extra 20 in the collection plate next time it comes around, look up to the sky and throw the big man a wink!!!  You know that with his long hair and beard, Jesus would have been a biker and he'd  be rolling in on the sickest Knuckle in the universe if he weren't so busy these days!

So we are only a few days away.  For all of you who are making the pilgrimage to Mecca, be safe, have an amazing ride, stop and smell the 50 weight and start making memories right away!  All of us at The Spoke will be awaiting your arrival with ice cold beer all ready for you to suck down!

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Thursday, July 26, 2012

What have I done to deserve this?

There are days that I just can't get over how fortunate Diane and I are to be surrounded by such incredible people.  People who at a moments notice would drop everything to lend a hand when you are in need.  People who will listen to you complain even when they have their own troubles in life to deal with.  People who would give you the shirt off of their backs or the very bikes they ride from under their ass!  They say what you put out in to the world comes back.  For the longest time, we had wondered if this was true and if it was, we were patiently waiting for this to happen.  Over the last few years it has happened with gestures as small as stopping by out of the blue with my favorite desert to gestures as grand as friends giving me their motorcycles to ride when my bike was down!  Some of you may know that my trailer was stolen a few months back now and it really sucks.  I was telling a friend this story when he told me that our mutual friend, Brother Mario, yes, Dirty Sanchez, that Mario had just had his trailer stolen from the one and only Shed in Milwaukee!  I couldn't help but think to myself, why do such bad things happen to such good people?  Well Mario was here this past week for a short trip to AZ before he has to head back to Amsterdam and it was incredible to get to hang out with both him and his lovely wife Pat.  We all went out and had drinks and an unbelievable meal with another set of friends.  We laughed until we damn near cried.  Once again, as we sat there, I could not help but to think how blessed we are.

A few days later, we are on the phone and he tells me "you'll never fucking believe this, but guess what?"  What?  He gets a call from a mutual friend, the one and only Kevin "Teach" Baas.  Teach had received an email from out of the blue telling him that if he did not remove his trailer from where it was parked, that the guy would have no choice but to have it towed.  Teach said, "I don't have a trailer in Wisconsin"!  Can you describe the trailer or send me a pic so I know what you are talking about he asked the guy.  Sure enough, the guy emails him pics and it is Brother Mario's trailer, dumped on some back country road in Wisconsin.  Now why would someone go through the trouble to steal a trailer and then just leave it somewhere?  Because the trailer had this massive BAAS METALCRAFT STICKER on it and no matter how hard they tried, they could not get it off!  Painting over it would not have worked and with all the stickers it was too recognizable so they just dumped it.  That very sticker had Teach's website on it.  So the moral of the story is, BAAS METALCRAFT stickers are good luck!  So I was speaking with Teach about this the very next day and we were laughing.  He told me that I was having trouble with my knuck because it didn't have a sticker on it!  I told him that I was out of Baas stickers and not only that, but I was having a hell of a time trying to find the "CHANGE YOUR LUCK, RIDE A KNUCK" stickers.  He said he would look to see if he had one and if he did, he would send me one when he got a chance.  Today, Diane says, "are you waiting on a package from Teach?"  It took me a second and then it dawned on me.... why yes, yes I am....  I was so excited!  I tore in to that package like a kid at Christmas and boy oh boy was I surprised!  Not only did he hook me up with new Baas stickers but.......... oh hell, I'll show ya!
Now if only this package had gotten here two days ago, maybe I would not have to pull the motor out of my 65 year old Knucklehead.....  damn U.S. Postal service!!!!  So not only did he send me the "Change your luck" sticker but also a Knuckleheads Forever Sticker, an old school, Evel style HD sticker, a few Baas MC stickers but he also included a Knuck Motor Patch!  Something so silly as this envelope filled with a few trinkets if you will brought me so much joy and once again hammered home to me just how lucky I have it!  No matter how shitty things get, no matter how broke we are at times, we will always be wealthy because we have people like the ones that I mentioned in this post in our lives!  So look around you, take an inventory of your life and see what you are surrounded with.  If you are surrounded by those who just take and take and take and never give from the heart, no matter what the gesture, it may be time to reevaluate, take stock and clean house!  I do believe in karma, I do believe that what you put out comes back ten fold and I do believe in always doing the right thing at any cost!  So cherish the ones you love, give till it hurts and always trust your gut, it's usually right!

In the next week, I'll be leaving for the one and only Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and while there, I'll be blessed with getting to spend time with people that I love from all around the world and that is the biggest part of my compensation for working the event!  So if you are heading to Sturgis, make sure you come up and see me at the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon and make my day!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit