So I have this theory....

...... and by God it really seems to hold true.  I have been compiling information and statistics on this theory of mine for many years now.  I have shared this theory with others and at first they tell me that I am an idiot, but when they stop for a moment to think about it, they too realized that I am really on to something.  Once you hear this theory you will think that I am nuts as well, but then you too will stop and think about it and I bet dollars to doughnuts you will be a convert to my theory as well.....

Are you ready for this?

Are you sure?

Okay, well then, here goes.  Now don't hold this against me, this has nothing to do with hatred, dislike, cruelty or any other bad thing you can call me or accuse me of being, this is just something that I have witnessed over the years and began to mentally document these facts many years ago.  I never told anyone this theory until about 2 years or so ago.  Okay, don't hate me but here is my theory.  I firmly believe that there is some hidden, unknown driving force, or unwritten law that when you have a child and that child is either mentally retarded or born with down syndrome, that child must be named Matt!  I know this sounds crazy but stop and think about anyone with one of these conditions that you have met in your life?  You are smirking right now thinking, wait, how can that be?  But it's true right?  Really, stop and think about it, I bet you that at the very least 8 out of 10 of that you have met, known or have been related to are named Matt, Matty or Matthew..... nearly without fail this theory of mine holds true. 

It's almost like you have the baby and the doctor comes in and says folks, I've got some bad news, your child was born and there is a problem so here are the list of names you are allowed by law to name your son.  Matt, Matty or Matthew, take a moment and the nurse will be in to fill in the blanks on the birth certificate!  Okay, so you think I am a monster right now for pointing this out but facts are facts.  Take some time and think about this theory and the more you think about it, the more you will see it, clearer and clearer.  For the rest of your life, every single time you see a 10 year old boy, pick up his father and throw him across the aisle in the toys r us like a rag doll and the mother yells at him, "Matthew, stop it"!  "Now go and pick your father up off the floor and say you are sorry", you will forever think of me.  Just to add more credence to my theory, while on the BMR we stopped at Wheels Through Time Museum and I had to throw away my empty Red Bull can, so I walked over to the picnic table area where  I saw a group of people gathered.  I asked if there was a garbage bag or can around and they said "sure, it's right over there by Matt".  "Matty, raise your hand so this nice man knows where you are".  I turned and all that I could think of was "of course"!  Here is a photo of me and my new friend Matty!

Now I know you are thinking okay, so that is just a crazy coincidence right.  Well here is the kicker, when they said, "Matty, raise your hand", both my new friend with the helmet and the guy behind him both raised their hands!  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I REST MY CASE!

Okay, let the hate mail flow but after, keep an open mind and a note pad and start tracking this theory on your own.  You will see that your friend Jack Shit is really on to something here!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit  and my three cousins Matt, Matthew and Matty

Teach proving once again that old iron is the best iron!

Last year during the Sturgis rally, I had told Teach that Mike Lichter wanted to shoot some bikes doing burnouts at the Broken Spoke Saloon Downtown. Teach said I'd love to but I have to ride Elvis all the way back home. I said no worries, just thought I'd ask. People say that these old bikes are just for show anyway, you can't really ride them, they have to be treated like a new born baby. With that, I walked away and I knew it would light a fire inside of him! I don't think it took 10 minutes for Teach to come walking up to me with an intense look on his face, "I'm in" he said. I'll show everyone what you can do with old iron! I knew he would not let me down. It was my birthday and he had just received an award from Easy Rider Magazine for something, I'm not sure, Teach gets a lot of awards and each and every single one is truly well deserved! He proceeded to do one of the sickest burnouts I have ever seen, ON ANY BIKE, much less a 1939 Knuckle!

Well here we are, about 9 months later and rather than Sturgis, we are in Reliance, Tennessee and we are hangin out at the one and only BMR or the Cycle Source Magazine, Big Mountain Run for those of you who are unfamiliar with it. We were several days in to the party and believe me when I tell you, we were all at it pretty damn good for a few days. You could see a "lull" in the crowd and everyone was more or less just kicking back. I had finally just sat down in a real comfy chair and took a moment to rest my tired ass! Not seconds later, I could see the entire crowd come to life across the field and like a wave, people came towards the field. I knew whatever was going on, IT HAD TO BE COOL! Well my friends, this was what was going on! Teach came screaming on to the field, skid sideways to a quick stop and from there it was on. Here is what I was able to capture.

OLD IRON IS THE BEST IRON, Teach, you fucking rock man!



Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I have to blame it on the Moonshine!

I believe that during this 52 second interview, I said "fuck" like 27 times. It is not my fault though, I was fed moonshine non stop for 4 days leading up to this! It is a combination of truth serum and Viagra all in one. Since I had no way to enjoy the benefit of the "Viagra" effect, I had to roll with the "truth serum" aspect of it! What can I say, I'm from back east and we curse and since I was back east, what better way to pay homage than to speak in my native tongue!

If you have not met Matt or his pops Dale from Wheels Through Time Museum in Maggie Valley, North Carolina, you have no idea what you are missing out on! Not only do they host the finest collection of motorcycles on earth in this reporters humble opinion, but they are some of the finest, most humble and hard working people that I have had the pleasure to come to know in my travels. They define "class" and "hospitality"!

We were just hanging out at BMR 3 last weekend and I decided to do an impromptu interview for posterity. I should have taken the time to edit the videos together of the pan he rode along with this, but I was far too lazy. The bike was sick. If you ever get anywhere near Maggie Valley, you must get to the museum before it is too late and you miss your chance to witness an amazing sight.



Just to give you an example of how cool this dude is, check this out. Last year, I was running the Long Road and one of the end of the day stops was Wheels. They allowed us to camp right on their front lawn along the babbling brook. If that was not cool enough, they opened the doors to us and told us to make ourselves at home. As the evening progressed a massive storm blew through. We were all more or less soaked to the bone and as we huddled around the fire to try and dry up and get warm, Matt leaned in and said to me "hey man, it's too shitty out, if you want, that's my house right there, just knock on the door and come sleep in there". An offer to a total stranger, from a total stranger out of the goodness of his heart! We had only met two hours earlier when I insulted him! Now he is offering me a place to sleep in his home. Truly amazing. One day, I'll share the story of how I insulted him and although I never meant to do it, I still did it pretty well!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

What would you do with a 100 year old motorcycle?

There were a ton of great memories from this years Big Mountain Run but I have got to say that some of my absolute favorites were watching Matt from Wheels Through Time Museum in Maggie Valley, North Carolina do all in his power to decimate and destroy this 1915 Harley! He could see the look on my face each time he did something insane and he would immediately say to me, "go ahead man, you take it and see if you can kill it"! UHM, NO! I MEAN NO THANK YOU! I would say that this pushed southern hospitality to the ultimate limit. I have a firm policy that if I can't pay to fix it, I won't ride it. Accidents happen, we never mean to break shit, but sometimes, shit just falls apart. With the luck that I have, I just knew better than to even sit on the seat of this bad bitch! Matt, my friend, you are first class! I hope that you enjoyed the Big Mountain Run as much as I did. You deserved a break from working in the museum and I would certainly say that this qualified as a break! I hope you go back to the museum refreshed and ready to take on the world! Until we see each other on the road again my friend, keep the wind in your face, tits in your back and the man off your ass! With the crew that you hang around with, I would say take that "keep the man off your ass" part of that to heart!



For those of you who were unable to attend BMR 3, you have absolutely no idea what you missed. Bikes, brotherhood and booze, the three B's! It does not get better than this! So make your plans to attend next years event! See you there.

it's all about your crew!

...... and who we choose to surround ourselves with!  Sure there are times when things are good and we let our guard down and a scumbag or two slips through the cracks, but they are inevitably found out to be just that and like a malignant tumor, we cut them out of our lives, hope that the cancer didn't spread and count our blessings that we were able to catch the malignancy fast enough before any real damage could be done or before it poisoned any vital organs!  Rather than look back and worry about what may have happened we look forward and that is what separates us from the rest of the citizenry out there!  We, BIKERS are a different kind of people, we are formed in a very different style mold than others and for that, we should be very proud!

About two weeks ago, a post was put up on face book about Cycle Source Magazine's, Big Mountain Run.  Earlier in the year, I had big hopes and aspirations about riding cross country to attend this event that I had heard so very much about.  From the time that I had made my initial plans to the time that post was put up, LIFE HAPPENED as it usually does and it seemed that there was no way on earth that I was going to be able to attend the event, much less ride to it!  I answered that thread and said that it doesn't look like I will be making the run, that the knuck had a horrible noise and the fxrs was not quite ready for a cross country trip.  It looked like I wouldn't see any of my friends until Born Free at best.  The first post under mine was Chris from Cycle Source asking what he could do to help me get out there and that was followed up by Mailman.  I thought to myself, how nice, at the very least, I will be missed right?  Then a little "1" popped up on my home page over the mail box.  It was a message from Mailman and it simply said, if you can make it to Atlanta, YOU CAN RIDE MY SHOVELHEAD!  Well my friends, this was enough to entice this ol' scooter jockey to respond.  "OH REALLY", I believe was what I sent back.  If you fly in to Atlanta, I will pick you up at the airport, take you back to my place and in the morning we can ride out to Tennessee.  "No shit, really"?  That is very kind of you, let me look in to airfare and such and see what I could come up with.  As luck would have it, flights were available and the fares were not all that bad.  I began to get a bit excited at the prospect that I would not be missing my first BMR!  I also became excited with the prospect of putting a thousand miles or so on an old shovel.  Sure as shit, true to his word, waiting for me in the Atlanta Airport when I arrived was Mailman and his buddy Phil Sims.  We have to pick up a transmission if that is okay with you?  If it's okay with me?  You just battled rush hour traffic to pick me up, to allow me to stay in your home with your family and then loan me one of your most prized possessions, okay with me, hell, I don't care if we have to go steal a transmission, I AM IN & IT IS SURE AS SHIT COOL WITH ME!!!  We stopped and picked up the tranny and headed back to Phil's shop.  When we arrived and pulled in the back of the building, I got a chill down my spine!  They have taken me to this God forsaken spot to kill themselves a Yankee and get some pay back, I THINK THE SOUTH WAS ABOUT TO RISE AGAIN!

Oh yeah, for sure I was going to be chopped up in to little pieces and welded up in to a 55 gallon drum.  My brain started to race, were these guys related to some girl whose heart I broke many years ago and she was just waiting to get even?  This was her opportunity to bring me across the country where I would never be found.  Hell, what crazy white boy would be nuts enough to come around this "hood" anyway?  I slowly got out of the car quickly trying to assess which would be the best direction to run in when I heard them light the torch?  Phil had a line up of old cars, trucks and campers out by the door to bait me in and I was taking the bait!  As you can see from the above pics, this is the shit that was just left laying outside, what I found when I walked through the doors quickly took my attention from escape route to I HAVE TO SEE THAT!  What an amazing old building and it was filled to capacity with nothing but super cool shit!  I walked straight in right past the first bad ass car to look at a bunch of tins and assorted other HARLEY GOODIES laying about, all with fresh paint on them.  What a spectacular job Phil did with these and hell, they were not even finished yet!

What truly blew me away though was what was just past those Harley parts.  A T bucket that was nothing short of insane. You know how on hot rods and pick up trucks, especially down south, the driver would always paint his name on the door and he would paint his girl's name on the passenger door?  Then as time went by, trouble would arise between the couple, usually because he loved that damn car or truck more than he loved that girl.  The ultimatum would be given, either THE CAR GOES OR I DO!  Well that ultimatum had been given to Phil as well.  I could tell you more, but hey, it's easier to show you.  Here is how Phil responded to those very threats;

As you can see, he put his Given Name on the drivers door!

 ..... and also as you can plainly see here, Phil does not respond well to ultimatums!  The car or me?

Phil really does some amazing work in that shop.  The car was called the "TACO TRAPPER" and I believe that this bad bitch has lived up to its name and then some!  Along with the cool, comes the strange.  Once you continue past the bucket you enter in to what would be the Studio, if you will.  Obviously the bed in the middle "for photo shoots" grabbed my attention for sure but I have to say that I think it was the damn near life sized SPACE SHIP mounted to the wall that truly grabbed my attention.

If you are down in Atlanta and need to get hooked up with someone who obviously has mad skills, then you need to check Phil and his shop out.  Thanks Mailman for taking me there and thank you and Phil both for not chopping me up and putting me in to a drum and throwing me in the swamp, it won't soon be forgotten.

We pulled out of the shop and I was relieved and stoked at the same time.  What did Mailman have in store for me next?  We arrived at Chateau De' Mailman and I must admit, it was sweet.  When you hang with and all your friends are "dirty ass bikers", you really never know what to expect when you are heading to some one's home that you have never visited yet.  The more hardcore the guy, the less you expect in "quality" of living conditions.  Once again, I was surprised beyond my wildest dreams.  As we pulled in the driveway, the garage door opened and there she was, one of the purtiest, bad ass shovels that I have seen in a long time.  Everything about this bike was absolutely perfect!  As I stood there gawking like a pedophile at a grammar school field day, Mrs. Mailman or better known as the Mailbox, came out and gave me a huge hug and welcomed me to her home!  What a fine example of southern hospitality!  I unloaded my bags, went in the house and was given the LAZY BOY for my very own "base of operations", until it was time to go.  I unzipped my big ass suitcase and as my small way of saying thank you, I dished out some I KNOW JACK SHIT HOODIES and gave their beautiful and talented daughter Darci a Jack Shit shirt of her very own, although, I don't know where a kid can wear one out to, but hell, that will be her problem.  I am thinking college interviews will be the perfect place to wear it!  Within moments, the hospitality reared its head again when a 36 lb burritto was placed in front of me and I was asked, "ya hungry"?  Well, not that hungry!  I could have eaten that thing all week long.  This woman was so kind and such an excellent host it was amazing.  Cheryl had read a post I had written asking about stores near the BMR.  I don't drink coffee, instead in the morning, I start my day off with a can of Rockstar and on the door of the fridge was a four pack.  This lovely southern belle had gone ahead and picked up a box of Rockstars for me.....  my heart was full of love and my belly full of food, what a welcome.  In the morning we would head off and meet up with Jeremy and friends from Muttin Cycles so we had to get to bed reasonably early.  Only one problem with that, I am on west coast time.  I had not slept since Sunday night and it was now 3 am on Wednesday morning, I was wide awake and I had to get up in 4 hours or so to start the trip, not good!  Excitement won over and in just a few hours, I was up and ready to ride.  Only one problem, it was 43 degrees in warm and wonderful Atlanta!  Two pair of socks, two pair of jeans, 3 shirts and an I know Jack Shit Hoodie, topped off with a goretek neck warmer and wool skull cap and two pair of gloves and I was ready to go.  Okay, one more problem, I had so many layers of clothes on, I could barely get my leg over the bike to ride.  I managed and we were off!

We hit the road and we were off!  The bike rode like a wet dream and it was the very first time that I had ever ridden a pogo seat for any distance.  IT WAS AMAZING!  The bike was a total pleasure to ride and the crew I was riding with was stellar.  An old biker like me could not have asked for anything more than to be atop a bad ass scooter riding the twisties with a few good ol' boys!

All we needed now was for the sun to come out and for my balls to drop back in to their rightful place between my legs instead of hiding from the cold up somewhere in my lower ab region!  So how about the ride, how about Wheels Through Time and how about the BIG MOUNTAIN RUN you ask, well I guess you will have to pick up the next issue of CYCLE SOURCE MAGAZINE to read about that.  Just as I was getting ready to pull on out of Reliance, Tennessee, Chris asked me to write about the event from my perspective!  To say that I was honored would be an understatement.  I get to write about the best time that I have had in a very long time and I get to share it with the world in my favorite Bike Mag, what could possibly be better I ask?  So don't forget to watch out for BMR coverage in Cycle Source Magazine! 

To brother Mailman, none of this would have been possible without you.  For your girl Cheryl or The Mailbox, thank you so much for your hospitality, I only hope to repay it soon.  For the rest of your crew down there in Atlanta and beyond, thank you for welcoming me in to the fold!  You guys gave me some memories that I won't forget and some riding that when I close my eyes still makes me feel like I am in the saddle. 

I can't wait until the next BMR and that is a fact but even more, I can't wait to ride side by side with this crew again!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Not quite what I had planned!

The best part about living in Arizona is that depending on the season, you can damn near jump in your pool anytime.  Hell, you can even jump in during the winter if you have the balls to do it!  There is nothing quite like coming home from a long ride, or long trip and stripping off your clothes as you walk through the house with the last piece coming off as you are about to dive in!  Well it is a good thing that I wasn't pulling my shirt up and over my head as I dove in or I would be typing this with a straw from my snazzy new electric wheel chair.  You see, some changes took place at the Shit House while I was gone.  In the few times that I was able to get Diane on the phone from the middle of nowhere Tennessee, all she kept saying is, "wait till you see the house".  Perhaps she should have said, wait till you see the pool!  It is a good thing I didn't just dive right in.  Have you ever seen a piece of cheese pushed through a cheese grater?  Well that is what I would have looked like!  While I was gone, it seems that the lil woman did more than just re-arrange some furniture!  I thought I heard the sound of a jack hammer while we were on the phone  but she assured me that it was just her vibrator!  What do I know?  Hell, I thought she picked up one of those new diesel powered ones.  This is what I came home to.

It seems that perhaps someone was not completely truthful over the phone with me!  Oh well, it seems that my 11 foot deep diving pool will now be a 6 foot deep play pool and I am thrilled about that!  I love when she takes charge and makes command decisions!  I would procrastinate and we would not have begun this until the dead of winter!  I can't imagine making it through an AZ summer without a pool.  I will keep you posted as to how it comes along, so far so good.  Right now, it looks like the surface of the moon and I kind of dig this look.  It matches my rugged spirit!  I will keep you fine folks updated and when this damn thing is done, I'm thinking POOL PARTY! 

I'm back from BMR now and the trip was truly fantastic.  I saw things that I always dreamed of and I saw things I never dreamed of all in the same day.  There will be no way to tell the tale in one post so I am going to have to figure out how to share the story and as soon as I do, I will share it with you folks, my friends!

Last night was Diane's shot night and by the grace of God, once again, she had absolutely no bad reaction.  I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was.  I was so completely and utterly exhausted from the trip that I was terrified that when the reaction came that I would be passed out and not hear her when she needed me.  It didn't happen, nothing happened at all and she slept through the night like a baby, only waking up on occasion to ask me why was I sitting up in bed?  "I'm keeping watch, just in case" was my answer.  By about 6 am, I knew we were in the clear and I could sleep all day, or until 7:45 when the guys came to work on the pool!  Oh well, we can't have it all and I will take a lack of sleep over a bad reaction each and every single time!

Also on a positive note, I survived the Rapture, so I guess that is a good thing?  Or is it a bad thing?  Was God supposed to take the good people or the bad people?  How about those idiots who gave this fool their life savings so that he could "afford" to spread the word to the people of the world.  Luckily, he has a new date for us all to expire, so don't stop sending in those checks just yet! 

I missed so much while I was away riding murdersickles!  What else was there?  Oh yeah, Arnold knocked up some chick and the kid is now 10 or 14, who knows, there may be more  and he is getting divorced.  Another hypocritical politician, is anyone at all shocked by this?  No, didn't think so!  The guy from Taxi after trying to revive his career by going on celebrity rehab overdosed and is currently in a coma yet another thing I don't think anyone will be shocked by.  So much going on!

On a very serious note, the people of Joplin, Missouri, you are in my thoughts and prayers.  I have never in my life seen such devastation from a storm.  I believe I heard that nearly 70% of Joplin has been completely leveled?  I can't begin to imagine what that would be like.  We have dear friends who live there and their whole family is okay, thank God but their neighbors and friends didn't do so well.  I am not sure what can be done to help these people or who will collect money for them and actually put those funds where they are needed but I am sure the salvation army and the red cross are good places to start!  In only a matter of minutes, the people of Joplin went from living in the "best place in Mo." to living in a war zone!  Things can happen in a flash or an instant and that is why you always hear me saying that we need to live each and every single moment to the absolute fullest.  You just never know what the next few minutes, much less days or years will bring so make the very best of it! Tell the one you love that you love them every chance you can!  Cherish what you have, no matter how great or small and give until it hurts, trust me, it will make you feel amazing!

I have a great deal to share with you folks, I just need to find the time to do it, but don't worry, it will be coming soon.  Don't forget to tell your friends that the Jewelry raffle is still going on.  For each and every Jack Shit t'shirt that you guys order, you get entered to win some spectacular jewelry from the one and only Chopper Doll of Lola's Boutique!  Check out that post for more details. 

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

One insane BMR moment!

FAR TOO EXHAUSTED AT THIS TIME TO WRITE. For those of you who have sent so many messages hoping I am having a good time or asking how was the BMR? Allow me to give you a taste of just one single moment in time. Picture this; the band is rocking, the weather gorgeous and the moonshine flowing like a river, what's left to do? Stage dive of course! Well when you use a cabin's front porch for the stage, it does not leave much in the way of space for fans to DIVE! So how do you fix that you ask? Easy folks, you don't jump from the stage of course, you jump from the roof of the cabin! Hell, it seemed to make sense at the time.

HERE IS ONE SINGLE BMR MOMENT CAUGHT IN TIME!!! So then, I guess we will be seeing you next year there? Yeah, thought so!

This may very well be my last Blog Post!

.....well that is until I get back from the Big Mountain Run!  MAYBE!  As I understand it, I don't believe that there is even phone signal there much less Internet!  I will document all that I can to share with you guys, my friends who were not able to make it there. 

I am however finding it really difficult to get ready for this trip.  When I pack up for a long bike trip, I put things in the bag, take things out of the bag, go and tie things on the bike to test fit and to make sure that they will stay put and not cause me to die while riding.  I keep walking out to the garage to test this stuff out, from force of habit.  Then I stop myself and think, YOU IDIOT, you are not taking your bike, take your head out of your ass!  I am not riding from Phx, I am leaving from Atlanta, this shit isn't going on my bike.  I am really not sure how this Shovel that I am graciously being loaned from Mailman will pack up.  I know that there is a truck involved but that may only be doing part of the initial trip with us.  I guess instead of trying to figure this shit out, I should pick up the phone and stop being a putz and ask. 

It's strange, I have really never done anything like this.  It's not like I'm hopping on a friends bike and running up to a party because my knuckle is up on a lift.  It's also not like I am going for an overnighter where all I need is a leather, a t shirt and clean pair of socks and underwear.  I will be gone six days and if I want to make it back through the TSA and get on a plane, I better damn well look like a human being while attempting to board a plane.  At best case, I better damn well SMELL LIKE ONE!  I have been seated next to that STANKIN ASS BASTARD who smells so bad that your eyes burn and you can't even eat your free peanuts because you want to vomit in to your airsick bag before you even lift off and I don't want to be that person! 

So I am going to get my shit together, bring the absolute minimum of shit with me and hope to God that there is some way to clean up and not smell like a dead cat behind a fish market!  I am looking forward to the trip, I could sure use the break.  As I try to get ready to go, it seems that once again, life is hammering me over the top of the head. 

My brother in law was scheduled for a test on Friday morning.  He has had a handful of open heart surgeries and for quite some time has been feeling pretty miserable.  On Thursday night, we called to wish him luck on his test and he wouldn't get on the phone.  He felt so bad coming out of the shower that he couldn't even speak.  Not an hour later, my 11 year old nephew was on the phone telling me that the ambulance was there to take him away.  Turns out his lungs were filling with fluid.  Immediate onset something or other and he was in dire straights.  They did some shit to get the fluid out and did the test in the morning anyway for his heart.  As it turns out he has a very bad leaking valve to his heart, yet again.  They tried to stabilize him, kept him on oxygen and said that if he could hold off until Monday, they would use the "A" team to perform the surgery and not have to crack his chest, yet again.  If he could not, the "B" team would have to crack him open and go in and try to fix it.  All seemed good until about 3 am this morning when his heart stopped completely and his blood pressure dropped to nothing.  Thank God they had him where he was under constant care, had he been in a regular hospital room they would have never even made it to the room to save him.  They hit him repeatedly with the Paddles and they brought him back.  He is in surgery now and it was supposed to be 5 hours.  It took 4 hours and 45 minutes for them to get through the scar tissue.  It will now be another 4 hours to perform the surgery!  My sister, who he is married to is blind!  This caused by a careless doctor who fucked up when she was 18 years old.  When he made her go blind, it was explained to us that "sometimes these things happen".  Nice right? 

With all of this going on, trying to take care of business at home before I leave and still having not packed a damn thing because I can't just fill up my army bag, bungee it to the sissy bar and go!  I have a few piles of shit laid out but keep getting pulled away from getting my shit together.  I guess my life would not be normal if there was not crushing pressure put upon Diane and myself daily.  I am not sure if I would know what to do with a few days of "nothing", but I am going to find out and I will let you know if I am capable of coping with it.  I guess what I am really worried about is being atop a mountain with no phone service and hoping to God that no one needs to reach me in case of an emergency! 

So for all of you attending the BMR, be safe on your journey there and I will see you at the party.  For those of you not attending it, I will do my best to document it for you! 

Keep the t shirt orders coming in while I am gone and I will get them out to you next week when I get back!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

Hey, it keeps me from going to prison!

People always ask me, how I stay calm, cool and relaxed!  How I keep from snapping from under the pressure?  If you ever wanted to know then here is your answer!  Who knows, it may not work forever, but it is working now!

 

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and The Man off your ass!

 

Your friend,

Jack Shit

Grab that shit and hold on tight!

About 10 years ago now, we lost 13 people in 11 months.  With the first loss, it was mind blowing, then came the second and the fear of "bad things come in threes" set in.  Then the third came.  With the horror of coping with the mourning and sadness of 3 deaths, there was this tiny little bit of relief thinking, well, thank God that's over!  Then came more and more, it was a year that I will never forget as long as I live.  We lost parents and  grandparents, friends lost babies and  children, we lost  friends and brothers, there was no age or type of person spared that year.  I wish that none of you, my friends ever have to experience any thing like this in your life.  It was the saddest, blackest year of my life!  I never knew such pain.  At the end, it just became "normal" to hear of another loss.  I nearly came to expect it.

I believe it was the year Diane was diagnosed as well.  We felt as if we must have done something horribly wrong in a past life and then were set up high just to be knocked down to pay for those past mis deeds.  Of course this was not the case, but it surely felt that way. 

I have never served in the military but I understand brotherhood.  I could never imagine how guys could be shot down next to you and you carry on, how do you push forward rather than kneeling at the side of your dead friend?  That year I learned how.  Not only did I learn that lesson, but I learned what was the most important lesson of my life. 

THERE MAY NEVER BE A TOMORROW....  cherish each and every day.  Don't put off till tomorrow what may bring you joy today.  Cherish your friends, your family and love them with all you can!  At many times, life makes absolutely no sense at all.  The bad things that happen, happen when we least expect it and seemingly when we are least prepared to cope with them, yet they happen none the less and prepared or not, we must deal with them!  There is no rhyme or reason as to why it happens or who it happens to.  It always seems that the greatest of people suffer the most and the scum of the earth seem to coast on through leaving nothing but damage in  their wake and remain unscathed! 

Make the best of every situation, take nothing for granted, love openly, love deeply and make sure you love wisely because death isn't the only horrid pain that you can suffer.  There are times when a broken heart can feel as bad or worse. 

My point in all of this is simple, when you have good around you, grab that shit and hold on tight.  Live each and every day as if it may be your last.  Let the people you love around you know that they are loved and appreciated and respected because God forbid something bad does happen, you will forever regret not saying it more often or ever at all!  To me, there is no worse feeling than the "if only" feeling.  If only I had done this or if only I had said that....  it's tough to swallow and even harder to live with!  So make the best of it all.... NO REGRETS!

GRAB THAT SHIT AND HOLD ON TIGHT!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

IT'S JUST SO HARD TO BELIEVE

I FIND IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE THAT TOMORROW WILL BE TWO YEARS SINCE OUR FAMILY, OUR FRIENDS AND OUR ENTIRE COMMUNITY LOST THE QUEEN OF THE STAMPEDE!

I have made so many new friends over these last two years that a great many of you may not know who Lorri Barisic was.  There are very few regrets in my life that I look back on and say if only things had been different.  One of those regrets was that I did not have more time in my life to get to know this Angel better.  On the flip side of that coin, I think about how lucky I was to have gotten to know her at all!  Lorri was Brother F Bomb's girl of many years.  The relationship they shared was very much like the one I share with Diane.  They spent each and every possible moment together that they could.  Not because they had to, but because they loved to.    When we lost Lorri, the outpouring of love was like nothing that I had ever seen or experienced in my life.  The number of people whose lives she touched was completely mind blowing.  I don't know the number of people who attended her memorial but the phrase "standing room only" really does not even come close to describing the attendance.

In the great many funerals or memorials that I have performed, I had never been touched like I had this day!  People came from every walk of life.  Lorri was the one that everyone in need came to and walked away no longer in need.  When I closed the funeral service I asked all in attendance, before you make a decision, before you make a judgement or before you condemn someone, ask yourself this, W.W.L.D.?  WHAT WOULD LORRI DO?  I think if we took a moment and touched upon some of the "pure" that encompassed her soul, we would each be better people. 

In the photo above was one of Lorri's bikes.  We lost Lorri while she was doing what she loved most.  Lorri was known as the Queen of the Stampede.  You guys know what the Stampede is right?  If not, I'll explain.  The Stampede is a motorcycle race that goes from sea to shining sea more or less.  Coast to coast, California to Rockingham, North Carolina and culminating in a celebration at the Smoke Out East.  Coast to coast, big deal right?  Hell, we can all do that!  Well hang on there for a moment and then factor this in, no windshields or fairings, no suspension in any way shape or form, rigid only, no hard saddlebags, tool boxes only, no rubber mounted engines, sounds a bit harder now don't it?  Well Lorri ran that race and was one of only a few that have ever even tried.  Not only did she run the race but she helped with the organization of it, keeping everyone updated on changes and such and more or less, keeping the whole damn thing together and that is why she was known as THE QUEEN OF THE STAMPEDE!  Sadly, while doing what she loved most, running the Stampede two years ago tomorrow with the love of her life F Bomb, she was run down from behind by several speeding tractor trailers in the middle of the night, in the middle of Oklahoma!  To add insult to horrible injury, this mother fucker that hit her, lied about everything and pretty much just drove away after.  I have never been so blown away by the actions of a police dept. in my life.  I say this to the Oklahoma State Police, FUCK YOU YOU INCOMPETENT FOOLS!  Did you go to the school of investigation online?  I don't want to bring up any thing more in the way anger but wish to remember our friend Lorri as she was, full of love, life and joy!

Since Lorri's passing, brother F Bomb has continued to honor her like nothing I have ever seen in my life.  People speak of a love that never dies, but I get to witness it each time I see brother Bomb!  This guy should have his photo in the dictionary next to the word commitment and while we are at it, put his photo next to the word Heart as well. 

I can't begin to imagine what he has gone through from the moment of the accident right up until today and I hope and pray that I never have to.  I have witnessed grace under pressure like I have never seen in my life while watching this man, my friend grieve and keep the loving memory of the love of his life in our hearts and minds!  God bless you Brother Bomb, you sir are truly class!  I have never in my life witnessed such strength and fortitude! 

Sister Lorri, you will forever be in my heart and on my mind!  Just remember folks, stop and think, W.W.L.D.?  WHAT WOULD LORRI DO?

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

What the hell did I ever do to deserve this?

I love this photo!  This was taken quite a few years ago now but still makes me smile when I see it.  It's weird to be known as the weenie King and Queen....  It takes some time to get use to people pointing to your wife and saying "hey, that's the Weenie Queen"!  Even though we have not competed in any bike rodeo events in a long time now, SHE WILL FOREVER BE, My Weenie Queen!  Only one time ever, 4weeks  after I had major reconstructive surgery on my left wrist, the wrist that now 11 years later I still wear a wrist brace on daily, did we not WIN FIRST PLACE in the Weenie Bite!  Because of my injury and the fact that I was in a hard cast, sadly, we came in SECOND PLACE!  It was mortifying and I apologized to Diane profusely for letting her down.  She laughed at me and called me a retart.  She said with one arm, we came in second", I said "no, with one arm we came in first loser"!  I gave her my word and said we will never lose again, and we never did!  These days, there are few things that I look back on in that decade of RUNNIN AND GUNNIN that brings me much in the way of warm memories or joy but photos like these, when they pop up certainly do!

We would attend events and they would begin the bike rodeo games and the group holding the event would ask us to hang back a bit till people lined up for the games.  Really?  Why?  Because as soon as you guys pull up, half the people pull away.  So we would wait before going to get our bike, then we would ride up late, just as they had asked and you know what?  They still pulled away anyway!  I think what I love most about this and so many of the photos that we have like this and believe me we have them, hell, we have them poster size, are the looks on the faces of the people in the crowd when Diane would "BITE THAT WEENIE".  I would tell you the secret of how to win this event, but even though we are currently "in retirement", she still says maybe one day, we will return and does not want to give away our secrets!  I always said I'd be no good without her on the back and she always says that I keep stopped in one place under that weenie without putting my feet down that she could put a napkin around her neck, put condiments on it and toast the bun before she ever had to bite it!  I've got a great girl!  Wait, scratch that, I have the greatest girl!

It seems that no matter what I find myself involved in, no matter what trouble I get myself in to or no matter what stupid shit I pull, she is without a second thought right by my side.  Like here for example.  We were in Puerto Penasco, or Rocky Point, Mexico for the Rocky Point Rally.  Let me begin by saying two things, first and foremost, they make REALLY BIG AND REALLY INEXPENSIVE Margaritas there and second, it had gotten a bit chilly down by the water.  The wind was blowing hard that day and I found myself having a really cold left side of my cheek and because she was standing next to me, the opposite side of her cheek had gotten pretty cold too.  "Wait, I have an idea I said to get our faces warmed up", a look of shock came across her face because not only did she know that I had just spent 13 bucks on those drinks, those 6 drinks but she knew damn well how my brain works!  She could see me waving her over and signaling to bring the camera.  I had negotiated ear and face warmers with another person in the bar.  Needless to say, her face got warm and red, but she didn't let me down.  She got right in the pic, fully knowing that a great photo is a great photo and you never know when you will capture another!  So after a big long sip through the straw of her 2.5 gallon tequila fish bowl of a drink she joined on in.  I can tell you this, from this moment on, neither her ear or cheek, nor mine were ever cold again on this trip.  Well, in case this ever happens to you, allow me to show you the fail safe way to get yourself warm.  I hope it works as well for you as it did for us.

The only trouble that she did have was a crick in her neck from when that 11 pound boob fell to hard against her neck and shoulder!  Like I said, I pull her in to a great deal of shit that most others would just tell me to stop it, or drop dead or I'M LEAVING YOU, but not my girl, not my partner in crime!  My Weenie Queen is the Shit.... well, the Mrs. Shit actually!

Once while we were still pretty young, we were down in Daytona for Bike Week and a buddy had blown his tranny.  When I got that call, I immediately thought of his bike, but now that I know the guy better, I should have really asked, What kind of Tranny did you blow?  But since we are friends till the end, we rolled that bike down in to the underground garage and strapped the bike head on to concrete pillar and proceeded to rip the bike apart.  Instead of bailing on him and saying good luck, we all just hung out while three guys put this piece of shit back together.  After an hour or two, I felt terrible for my girl and I said let's go.  We can't leave them she said from her huge heart.  Leave them, we ain't going nowhere, get on the bike, you want to learn to ride?  REALLY?  HOW?  So I put her on the front of my bike and we rode around the underground parking garage.  We rode through parked cars and trailers (it was a bike event so of course it was filled with trailers) and each time it got to hard, too scary or too stupid, she would lean down on the tank and I would grab the bars.  She worked the back brake and shifted and when we got straightened out, she re took the controls.  Till this day, Diane is the only one I have ever heard of learning to ride, two up, on a bike that she could not touch the ground on, in an underground parking garage!  It wasn't long after that, I didn't get to ride on the back any longer and ladies, those of you who ride, you know what was coming next, yes you got it;

So this was her second bike in this pic.  It seems that living an unconventional life comes with a cost.  In our case I had gotten in a really bad crane accident and money was really tight!  So for the second time I sold her bike to help pay the bills.  Was she sad?  She sure was, but just said, "one day, I'll get another".  That was it.  That day is very close now and I will begin to write that story soon but for now, you will just have to wait. 

Like I said, there is usually not a thing that I will ask her to do that even though she may be disgusted by it, or think it to be really stupid, she puts a smile on and does it.  For example, I wanted her to send out notes back home to some friends we had lost touch with and I just wanted it to say, THINKING OF YOU or WE MISS THE SHIT OUT OF YOU and include this photo!

She put up about a ten second argument and then just hopped on the bowl.  She would not however take her pants down for the shot.  I said what's the big deal babe, you have a great body.  She said that is not the problem.  Well what is?  Did you see those scumbag workers who used this before they took it out of the house, well my ass ain't touching this thing!  Who was I to argue with that?  I had seen the workers and I didn't want to stand next to it and pee for fear of catching some God awful 3rd world disease!

I truly don't know what I did to ever deserve this angel being in my life, more of a question is I don't know what I ever did to keep her in my life but she is still by my side and she loves the hell out of me.  What got me writing this blog tonight was thinking of how bad she has it at times.  No matter what ever happens, she always says that if the day comes, we will always have our memories and we have made many!  Last night, as is every Monday night is "shot night".  Those of you who don't know, Diane has suffered from Multiple Sclerosis for just about 11 years now, give or take and no matter what or how she is feeling, she is always the one trying to keep my spirits up.  Can you imagine that, she tries to keep my spirits up?  What a saint.  She puts nearly everyone before herself and she is amazing.  For the last 5 weeks, she has had no bad reaction to her shot.  The medicine is so horrible that is causes a combination of the worst hangover you have ever had and at the very same time, the worst flu you have ever had and her legs feel like they are being burned and crushed at the same time.  Her body temps goes up around 103 or higher, it is just a terrible thing to go through and even harder to see some one you love go through it and all you can do is wrap your arms around her and hold on!  After 2+ years of this happening every Monday night, the reactions went away.  After the third week I was amazed, after 4 shocked and after 5 I thought they were gone forever!  Well last night I was proven way fucking wrong!  The reaction hit hard again and it was heart wrenching.  If I had one wish, I would wish that I could take the reaction away and suffer it myself but we all know that can't happen!  I got to thinking about what an inspiration she is to so many and how through my writing and sharing her experiences with the world, she has touched so many more that she has never even met. 

Every Tuesday, my mailbox, FB wall and email is full of people asking about how she is doing.  I get messages telling me how she has inspired them to look at the good in the world instead of the bad.  How she has inspired them while suffering with their own diseases to keep up the good fight no matter how hard.  She is truly the most amazing woman that I have ever met in my life and I thank God each day that I have her in my life.  I am still waiting though, after 25 years for her to say, baby, it's three way night, but hey, I can't have it all right?  Well just like she never gives up hope, neither will I!  What sucks is that she is so damn good looking that all the girls always hit on her and it just makes it torturous for me!  So I say this to you, if something hits your life like a ton of bricks, don't panic, stay strong and fight the good fight and use Diane as your inspiration, because I use her as mine!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

They say that love stinks

They say that love stinks but I'm not really sure. Once you find it it is hard to make it go away!!! Well unless of course;

I GOT BLOWN IN LAUGHLIN ! ! !

It's been nearly a week since Laughlin ended and typically I would have already written about it by now.  I have been so jammed up busy that this is the very first chance I have.  Normally I keep notes or make audio clips of things I don't want to forget, but in this case, the things I am going to write about are not easily forgotten.  Some of the things I am going to tell you about, I honestly had to stop and think hard about writing because once you put something out in to the world, there is no taking it back.  Once you have pissed someone off, the opposite can only be pissing someone on, or better yet, pissing on someone and I have made the decision that it must be done!  As you guys no, I try to never hold back unless it is hurtful, I try not to ever hurt any one's feelings unless they deserve it and even then I think twice about it.  You also know that I am brutally honest, so my not telling you how I feel would in a sense be lying to you and I swore I would never do that.  Before we get in to the ugly of the event, first allow me to share the good.

A few months ago, my new friend, Lucky Laurie had sent me a message about using some of her space in Laughlin to stock and sell some Jack Shit shirts.  My first thought was, oh hell yeah, but then reality hit me.  Those booths at huge rallies cost a lot of money!  If I am going to take up space at one of those booths with my product, it would only be fair that I kick in for the cost, right?  Well that is just something that I could not afford to do.  I sent her a note back and graciously declined.  I told her that there is only so much money to be made on t-shirts and with the cost of me getting there and kicking her back some cash from the shirts and finding a place to stay, it would at best be a break even proposition for me.  It wasn't but a few days when I received another message from Ms. Laurie.  Either she had read my blog post about where the money from the shirts go, or someone told her that the money goes to taking care of Diane's medicine and shit and that is pretty much what the note said, she knows where the money goes and she doesn't want any of it, to get my ass to Laughlin and don't worry about a thing!  HOLY SHIT REALLY?  Wow, what a classy move!  Each time that I begin to lose faith in humanity, someone like Laurie steps up and does something wonderful and gives me hope again!  I was going to pack up the shirts in to a big ass army bag, strap it to the sissy bar on the knuck and make a mad dash for Nevada, or so I thought!  The noise coming from the bottom end of the knuck motor was horrible and the fxrs was not up and running.  I managed to get the fxrs up and running but the idea of a 600 mile shakedown run across the 100 degree desert did not sound like the smartest move on my part.  Finally, two nights before, I said FUCK IT!  I really did, I said it out loud, FUCK IT, I'm doing it anyway!  That is when we realized that the bike I had purchased months before was unregistered and now the TITLE WAS GONE!  No where to be found, it had grown legs and like Elvis, it had left the building!  For the first time in my life, I would be attending a major motorcycle event without a bike and it hurt.  It hurt my heart, my ego and my pride!  I would be attending the Laughlin River Run, in a Ford truck!  I have never in my life cancelled a date, an event or a show and I was not about to break this commitment now!

My biggest fear was where the hell was I going to park a truck?  The stars had lined up and as I pulled in to the Pioneer Hotel's vending area, I was able to park 2 spots away from the vending tent!  This could only work out better if I had a place to stay.  I went up with absolutely no place to stay in a town of thousands of hotel rooms and they were all sold out!

As it turns out, the Pioneer had not put much effort in to "their event area" this year.  At night because of the bull riding and the mud wrestling they drew a decent crowd, but, during the day, while all the other vendor areas were packed, the Pioneer was like a ghost town!  People still stopped in to say hello and since the folks that I was working with had such honest and fair prices, they were still able to do some business, thank God!  Laurie and her man were smart and rather than go away and leave their daughter at home, they did the right thing and brought that lil angel with them.  I never once heard this kid complain, about anything!  On the rare occasion that they had to leave the tent, I stuck around to make sure nothing happened to her and I have to tell you, unlike most miserable asshole kids these days, she was the total opposite.  She said hello to each and every single person who walked by!  At one point, another vendor came over and was trying to hammer her for a discount and when she asked how much of a discount he wanted, he said 100%, I want it for free.  Well, that was it, this girl didn't budge on her price and in the end, she closed the sale and didn't take one red cent off the price, this girl has a future in sales, she was a beast of a negotiator!

They had spent all day Wednesday and part of Thursday setting up the booth and it looked great.  Well laid out, good design and they even had the forethought of bringing these kick ass chairs for exhausted husbands to sit in while their ol ladies shopped.... smooth move!  By the time Friday came, business began to pick up and so did the wind.  By Friday night, we were experiencing gust of 60 mph.  At 1am on Saturday morning, we had to break down the entire booth for fear that we would come back in the morning and everything would be gone.  Metal racks were attached to the main poles of the tent and they were just snapping loose!  I boxed up all the Shit shirts and put them in the back of the truck because I just could not afford to have them blown all over Nevada by morning!  That night Griz and company offered a spot to sleep atop a mountain in a pop up camper, sounds like a great idea right?  A good night's sleep in the fresh air, how perfect.  Virtually no noise and total privacy, what could possibly be better?  Well allow me to make a fucking list!  First and foremost, did you know that the wind on top of a mountain blows much harder than the wind on the bottom of the mountain?  No?  Yeah, neither did I!  I swear to God, at one point around 4 am I said to Griz, "dude, WE ARE UP ON ONE WHEEL"!  I swear I thought the top of the entire pop up was going to rip clean off.  Second, and my friends forgot to mention this in their invitation to me to come and stay with them and imagine hearing this moments before you try to drift off to sleep.  Oh yeah Jack, on the way in, we were given this paper, on the paper it said, "WE HAVE YET TO CAPTURE THE MOUNTAIN LION AS OF YET", "PLEASE USE CAUTION WHEN OUT DOORS"!  When outdoors?  We are camping, IT'S ALL FUCKING OUTDOORS!!!  "Be careful if you have to go out to piss man, watch your ass"!  These are last words I never want to hear again! 

On Saturday morning, I returned to the Pioneer parking lot fully expecting to see the tent closed down and packed up and my friends having given up.  I did not find that.  They got up early and did the very best that they could do to "re-open" what they had worked so hard on setting up and they did a pretty damn good job.  By Saturday morning, the wind had died down to gusts of only 40 mph so most of the tent had to remain buttoned up and people were walking in I think just to see what was hidden in that "secret tent".  I ended up moving a bunch of shirts and since the weather report had said it was going to be "beautiful", I was able to move quite a few Hoodies on Friday and Saturday night as most didn't even bring jackets.  So I guess, thank you Mother Nature!

I thought I would throw in a few pics of friends old and new grabbing up some of the I KNOW JACK SHIT WEAR, obviously, these fine folks have amazing fashion sense.  So by now you are probably thinking, this don't sound so terrible, the opening of this post seemed pretty harsh, are you this angry about a little bit of wind Jack?  NO I AM NOT! 

On Thursday night, I went up and met some friends at the Loser's lounge up the strip.  Diane was having all kinds of computer trouble so I spent most of that time out in the Keno room trying to walk her through fixing it.  My battery was about to die so I began my mile trek back down the road to the hotel so I could at least plug the phone in if she needed me.  If you haven't been to Laughlin in a while or never, they local police dept. is not real big so they bring in the Las Vegas metro police.  It is like a small military unit coming in to town and they act exactly like one.  I guess one could argue that since the shoot out at Harahs casino that they have to be there like that but as I understand it, it was like that long before any thing bad ever happened.  Also, the more cops you have, the more tickets you can write and the more arrests you can make and the more money rolls in to the town!  BONUS I GUESS!  Before I go any further, understand this, I am not a cop hater!  Nearly every male in my family was either a cop or a fireman so I know cops and how they think and are supposed to act.  While walking down the strip, I saw cop after cop after cop screaming down the road with lights and sirens on!  They would go sliding in to the driveway of the Aquarius Casino.  You would have thought some major battle was under way.  I was walking and on the phone with Diane and told her what was up, she said, "stay away from it", but I could not!  I had to see what horrible tragedy would require 20 police man to go blazing through town, through lights and around traffic like that, I just had to!  Well I got down to the entrance of the casino where I saw one, yes ONE, Hispanic man in handcuffs against a car.  About 30 feet away were a few Mongols with a few prospects and hang arounds.  To the best of my knowledge, they were not involved in this, but I don't know.  None of the police were speaking to any of them?  I was so damn thirsty from my walk and so bummed out that I had gone this far and nothing was going on, I went in to the casino and got a drink.  There was nothing going on in there either, so I took my drink out the front door of the hotel.  Now this is where the story goes straight to hell!  As I walked out, I see this pretty attractive, fit, girl and her boyfriend or husband in the driveway.  There are cameras everywhere, after all, it is a casino!  As I walk out the door, she punches him right in the face and his hat goes to the ground.  He bends over and picks it up.  I guess upon seeing that he didn't react, she hit him again and again, over and over with a closed fist in the face and head!  Now there has to be 35 cops 50 feet away and they are so concerned about the one person that these heroes arrested that they pay no attention to the poor guy getting his ass beat.  The guy stands with his arms locked down at his sides and only moves to pick up his hat each time she knocks it off!  Shot after shot in the face and he does nothing.  He can see all of the police a short distance away and must figure that any moment, they will come over and stop her, he does nothing to defend himself!  This had to go on for 5 or 7 minutes, it's hard to tell.  I just walked away shaking my head.  Well the harder she beat him, finally drew a reaction from the crowd and with each punch in the face, a roar came and another punch in the face and another roar.  It must have been 5 or 6 real loud roars from the crowd, finally one of the now massive group of cops noticed.  After a few more roars, they began running towards the couple.  The guy still standing with his arms locked at his sides.  A pack of cops ran towards him and I thought, Jesus Christ, finally this guy will stop getting pummeled!  Boy was I wrong!  The amazing heroes of the Las Vegas Metro Police put this guy to the ground so hard that when he hit the ground it sounded like a cinder block being dropped off of a house!  WAIT A MINUTE HERE, THIS GUYS IS GETTING HIS ASS BEAT and now he is getting it from the cops?  They handled him like he was a piece of shit.  The girl, treated much differently of course.  So both are handcuffed and her drunk ass is gingerly taken towards the now huge pack of police cars and of course, THE MONSTER is walked over being man handled real rough.  Usually it takes some time for bruises to form, a mouse to form under an eye or an eye to close from being hit, but as this guy walked to the cop cars, you could see how badly he had been beaten!  If nothing else, man oh man could that chick throw a punch!  I could not believe what I had just witnessed!  This victim of repeated assault was just assaulted again by the police.    It was not like they were called to a domestic disturbance and had no idea what they were getting in to.  While on their 50 - 75 foot run towards the couple, they could see that the guy was in know way even attempting to defend himself yet they put him to the ground like an animal! 

I began to walk towards the cops to ask them what the hell was wrong with them and a woman security guard from the casino lot grabbed me and said, "don't do it honey", "they will arrest you as fast as they just did him", "Metro has ruined this event"!  I stopped and said that it was okay, I was not drunk or anything and she shook her head and said "sweetie, it won't matter to them"!  IT WON'T MATTER TO THEM?  What kind of shit is that?  I took her advice and stood there dumbfounded!  I could not believe what I just witnessed.  I in-fact just witnessed two separate assaults and it was disgraceful!  At one point on Thursday night at the Pioneer Hotel parking lot, there were actually more cops on the property than there were people!  I understand the need for security but what I don't understand is the need for intimidation and I guess I never will!  They were so amped up and ready to go that I feared that I would be taken down for jay walking!  So when I say there was good and bad about this trip, now you know what I mean.  I have never seen the run so dead.  The people were all in town, but Casino Drive, which you would liken to Main Street in Daytona where people run hot rods and bikes up and down, it's a real see and be seen type of atmosphere, was absolutely empty.  The entire fun of the event is sitting alongside the road and people watching and on this weekend, there was none to be had!  I GUESS NO BODY WANTED TO GO TO JAIL FOR ROLLING THROUGH A CROSSWALK! 

In the end, I got to see friends that I hadn't seen in a while, I got to meet people that I have only known on line and I made new friends that I didn't even know yet and that part was great.

That's my 20 year old nephew who built this shovel as his first bike and rode all the way to Laughlin on it and picked up all the pieces that fell off along the way, way to go Jay Bird!

So next time you are at bike event and you see a booth called WHAT'S BETWEEN YOUR LEGS, make sure you stop in and say hello, they are fantastic people, just don't try and negotiate with their daughter she is tough as nails and tell them your friend Jack Shit sent ya! 

Will I be at Laughlin River Run next year?  Probably?  I'll just try to be extra careful not get beat up by a girl, I understand there are harsh penalties for that!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit