It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Monday, May 16, 2011

This may very well be my last Blog Post!

.....well that is until I get back from the Big Mountain Run!  MAYBE!  As I understand it, I don't believe that there is even phone signal there much less Internet!  I will document all that I can to share with you guys, my friends who were not able to make it there. 

I am however finding it really difficult to get ready for this trip.  When I pack up for a long bike trip, I put things in the bag, take things out of the bag, go and tie things on the bike to test fit and to make sure that they will stay put and not cause me to die while riding.  I keep walking out to the garage to test this stuff out, from force of habit.  Then I stop myself and think, YOU IDIOT, you are not taking your bike, take your head out of your ass!  I am not riding from Phx, I am leaving from Atlanta, this shit isn't going on my bike.  I am really not sure how this Shovel that I am graciously being loaned from Mailman will pack up.  I know that there is a truck involved but that may only be doing part of the initial trip with us.  I guess instead of trying to figure this shit out, I should pick up the phone and stop being a putz and ask. 

It's strange, I have really never done anything like this.  It's not like I'm hopping on a friends bike and running up to a party because my knuckle is up on a lift.  It's also not like I am going for an overnighter where all I need is a leather, a t shirt and clean pair of socks and underwear.  I will be gone six days and if I want to make it back through the TSA and get on a plane, I better damn well look like a human being while attempting to board a plane.  At best case, I better damn well SMELL LIKE ONE!  I have been seated next to that STANKIN ASS BASTARD who smells so bad that your eyes burn and you can't even eat your free peanuts because you want to vomit in to your airsick bag before you even lift off and I don't want to be that person! 

So I am going to get my shit together, bring the absolute minimum of shit with me and hope to God that there is some way to clean up and not smell like a dead cat behind a fish market!  I am looking forward to the trip, I could sure use the break.  As I try to get ready to go, it seems that once again, life is hammering me over the top of the head. 

My brother in law was scheduled for a test on Friday morning.  He has had a handful of open heart surgeries and for quite some time has been feeling pretty miserable.  On Thursday night, we called to wish him luck on his test and he wouldn't get on the phone.  He felt so bad coming out of the shower that he couldn't even speak.  Not an hour later, my 11 year old nephew was on the phone telling me that the ambulance was there to take him away.  Turns out his lungs were filling with fluid.  Immediate onset something or other and he was in dire straights.  They did some shit to get the fluid out and did the test in the morning anyway for his heart.  As it turns out he has a very bad leaking valve to his heart, yet again.  They tried to stabilize him, kept him on oxygen and said that if he could hold off until Monday, they would use the "A" team to perform the surgery and not have to crack his chest, yet again.  If he could not, the "B" team would have to crack him open and go in and try to fix it.  All seemed good until about 3 am this morning when his heart stopped completely and his blood pressure dropped to nothing.  Thank God they had him where he was under constant care, had he been in a regular hospital room they would have never even made it to the room to save him.  They hit him repeatedly with the Paddles and they brought him back.  He is in surgery now and it was supposed to be 5 hours.  It took 4 hours and 45 minutes for them to get through the scar tissue.  It will now be another 4 hours to perform the surgery!  My sister, who he is married to is blind!  This caused by a careless doctor who fucked up when she was 18 years old.  When he made her go blind, it was explained to us that "sometimes these things happen".  Nice right? 

With all of this going on, trying to take care of business at home before I leave and still having not packed a damn thing because I can't just fill up my army bag, bungee it to the sissy bar and go!  I have a few piles of shit laid out but keep getting pulled away from getting my shit together.  I guess my life would not be normal if there was not crushing pressure put upon Diane and myself daily.  I am not sure if I would know what to do with a few days of "nothing", but I am going to find out and I will let you know if I am capable of coping with it.  I guess what I am really worried about is being atop a mountain with no phone service and hoping to God that no one needs to reach me in case of an emergency! 

So for all of you attending the BMR, be safe on your journey there and I will see you at the party.  For those of you not attending it, I will do my best to document it for you! 

Keep the t shirt orders coming in while I am gone and I will get them out to you next week when I get back!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit


  1. Have fun like you need it...I remind myself daily that no matter what devastating shit is thrown my way (and I have had my share) there is always someone worse off than me. Sending all my positive thoughts your way.

  2. No worries Mate.... the Shovelhead has a luggage rack and you couldn't imagine some of the shit I have strapped to that bitch. There are showers at the campground for your stinkin' ass and phone service if you go 1/4 mile to the west. You must face the north, hold 1 leg to the south, 1 arm to the east, and stick your tongue out, but you get service!!! Quit your crying about packin.... what ever you don't have we will. RELAX.... and I'll see ya tomorrow afternoon.

  3. Stopped on by here from Ms M's Place. Did only a lil' bit of readin' so far so I only gotta few things to say:

    1) Have yerself a great (safe) trip;

    2) Don't forget the soap AND the T.P. (for when ya literally gotta keep yer ass clean);

    3) I'm absolutely lovin' the fixation ya got with the word "shit".

    4) And I'm sendin' out some good vibes 'n a few prayers to yer B-I-L. Hell, I'll even throw an extra "one for the road" yer way ;-)

  4. sorry to hear about all the medical stuff, thoughts and prayers going out. just do your best to enjoy yourself jack, really. i would think (and hope) that its what your loved ones would want. de-stress and safe fun travels!!!

    and ps, hi to mdj above from ms m and bob :)

  5. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

    Enjoy the mountain air, good times and no signal! Sometimes we need to TRULY get away in order to be worth a damn to ourselves and others when we ARE here.

    Hoping that deep sigh with a cold beer chaser finds you soon. Smiles til next time...

  6. You have a good time, keep safe and don't let the dragon whip ya. It'll all be good.