It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Not quite what I had planned!

The best part about living in Arizona is that depending on the season, you can damn near jump in your pool anytime.  Hell, you can even jump in during the winter if you have the balls to do it!  There is nothing quite like coming home from a long ride, or long trip and stripping off your clothes as you walk through the house with the last piece coming off as you are about to dive in!  Well it is a good thing that I wasn't pulling my shirt up and over my head as I dove in or I would be typing this with a straw from my snazzy new electric wheel chair.  You see, some changes took place at the Shit House while I was gone.  In the few times that I was able to get Diane on the phone from the middle of nowhere Tennessee, all she kept saying is, "wait till you see the house".  Perhaps she should have said, wait till you see the pool!  It is a good thing I didn't just dive right in.  Have you ever seen a piece of cheese pushed through a cheese grater?  Well that is what I would have looked like!  While I was gone, it seems that the lil woman did more than just re-arrange some furniture!  I thought I heard the sound of a jack hammer while we were on the phone  but she assured me that it was just her vibrator!  What do I know?  Hell, I thought she picked up one of those new diesel powered ones.  This is what I came home to.

It seems that perhaps someone was not completely truthful over the phone with me!  Oh well, it seems that my 11 foot deep diving pool will now be a 6 foot deep play pool and I am thrilled about that!  I love when she takes charge and makes command decisions!  I would procrastinate and we would not have begun this until the dead of winter!  I can't imagine making it through an AZ summer without a pool.  I will keep you posted as to how it comes along, so far so good.  Right now, it looks like the surface of the moon and I kind of dig this look.  It matches my rugged spirit!  I will keep you fine folks updated and when this damn thing is done, I'm thinking POOL PARTY! 

I'm back from BMR now and the trip was truly fantastic.  I saw things that I always dreamed of and I saw things I never dreamed of all in the same day.  There will be no way to tell the tale in one post so I am going to have to figure out how to share the story and as soon as I do, I will share it with you folks, my friends!

Last night was Diane's shot night and by the grace of God, once again, she had absolutely no bad reaction.  I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was.  I was so completely and utterly exhausted from the trip that I was terrified that when the reaction came that I would be passed out and not hear her when she needed me.  It didn't happen, nothing happened at all and she slept through the night like a baby, only waking up on occasion to ask me why was I sitting up in bed?  "I'm keeping watch, just in case" was my answer.  By about 6 am, I knew we were in the clear and I could sleep all day, or until 7:45 when the guys came to work on the pool!  Oh well, we can't have it all and I will take a lack of sleep over a bad reaction each and every single time!

Also on a positive note, I survived the Rapture, so I guess that is a good thing?  Or is it a bad thing?  Was God supposed to take the good people or the bad people?  How about those idiots who gave this fool their life savings so that he could "afford" to spread the word to the people of the world.  Luckily, he has a new date for us all to expire, so don't stop sending in those checks just yet! 

I missed so much while I was away riding murdersickles!  What else was there?  Oh yeah, Arnold knocked up some chick and the kid is now 10 or 14, who knows, there may be more  and he is getting divorced.  Another hypocritical politician, is anyone at all shocked by this?  No, didn't think so!  The guy from Taxi after trying to revive his career by going on celebrity rehab overdosed and is currently in a coma yet another thing I don't think anyone will be shocked by.  So much going on!

On a very serious note, the people of Joplin, Missouri, you are in my thoughts and prayers.  I have never in my life seen such devastation from a storm.  I believe I heard that nearly 70% of Joplin has been completely leveled?  I can't begin to imagine what that would be like.  We have dear friends who live there and their whole family is okay, thank God but their neighbors and friends didn't do so well.  I am not sure what can be done to help these people or who will collect money for them and actually put those funds where they are needed but I am sure the salvation army and the red cross are good places to start!  In only a matter of minutes, the people of Joplin went from living in the "best place in Mo." to living in a war zone!  Things can happen in a flash or an instant and that is why you always hear me saying that we need to live each and every single moment to the absolute fullest.  You just never know what the next few minutes, much less days or years will bring so make the very best of it! Tell the one you love that you love them every chance you can!  Cherish what you have, no matter how great or small and give until it hurts, trust me, it will make you feel amazing!

I have a great deal to share with you folks, I just need to find the time to do it, but don't worry, it will be coming soon.  Don't forget to tell your friends that the Jewelry raffle is still going on.  For each and every Jack Shit t'shirt that you guys order, you get entered to win some spectacular jewelry from the one and only Chopper Doll of Lola's Boutique!  Check out that post for more details. 

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

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