We got to Vegas on Wednesday night, got our shit together and ran on down to Hogs where apparently everyone we know was down there and busting our balls to get there as soon as possible. On the walk over, we ran into Jack and Terry, the owners of the Dirty Dogg Saloon in AZ. You guys know this place, it is where I host events during Bike Week and such. They are great guys and nothing but class. I told them where we were heading and they too were on their way down. We stood on the corner of Freemont Street and talked about how long it had been since Diane and I had been to Vegas. I mentioned that I had the chance of a lifetime to perform here in March during Nascar but I had to be in Daytona to work The Spoke. I told them how bummed out I was that I never got the chance to play Vegas. I also mentioned that the comic that I was going to work with was performing this weekend while we are here and that they should check her out. With that, we headed down to the bar. About an hour or so after being there, I'm walking back to my table and I see Bag Lady Sue and ask her how it's going? What she had planned and who she was performing with? No one, it's just me was her answer. I said oh hell, you should let me at least announce you and bring you up on stage. She said better yet, why don't you perform with me. You can open the show. I said well I don't know about that, I haven't done stand up in 15 months. You can go up, bring me up and if you feel good, do a few minutes, if you feel great do 10 or fuck man, just do whatever you want. Shows are Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So I said "fuck it, I'm in" and from that moment on, I've been a nervous wreck. Thursday came and I said that I will work Friday and see how it goes but there is no way I'm doing 3 nights.
I wake up at 10 am on Friday, nervous as hell and can't stop thinking about what I've gotten myself into? Diane then informs me, it hasn't been 15 months, it's more like 25, nearly 26 months since I've done any stand up..... well that makes me feel much better..... so I spent the entire day, sleeping, shitting, sleeping, shitting. I got out of bed just about 8pm last night, went down to the Canyon Club in the casino, met up with Bags, drank two Jager Bombs, grabbed a sharpie and piece of paper and at 8:25 wrote a show that I was now going to perform in half an hour. I got on that stage with my hands shaking like a crack head needing a hit. I mustered up a big ol', trademark, "WHAT'S UP MOTHER FUCKERS" and it was on like donkey kong! My intro, turned into a few minutes that turned to 5, 10, 20 and closer to a 30 minute show and the audience went nuts. I've got to admit, it felt really great to be back on stage doing stand up, that I use to love to do so very much. It has re-ignited a fire in me.
Last night, for the first time ever, I PLAYED THE STAGE IN LAS VEGAS, a comedian's dream and you know what? I FUCKING KILLED IT! I just want to say thank you to all that came out to support me and the show. I was stunned when I saw you all coming in! I hope you guys had a blast. So tell your friends, looks like we will be doing it again tonight, but just typing that makes my stomach turn and now I've got to go shit again! So tell your friends, come down to the 4 Queens on Freemont Street in Vegas and laugh your troubles away, if only for a little escape from reality.
Until we see each other again on the road,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off Your ASS!
Your Friend,
Jack Shit
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