It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Another kick in the nuts from the Universe

I awoke this morning at noon thirty or so and promptly lit a smoke and thought holy shit, I did it again, I slept till 12:00 pm, how completely pathetic. I have been hurting pretty bad since just before bike week here in Arizona and it caught up on me. Life caught up on me and death caught up on a family member! I being dicked with by a world renowned scum bag debt collector who thinks it's funny to dial my phone at 4:45 in the morning, only to hang up and to cap off my week, I was damn near arrested at the end of my own driveway. What drew the Police's attention so intently that caused this fine young lady officer to rip down the street in to a full on high speed, full throttle rear tire spinning u-turn, only to come power sliding around the corner and stop me with flashing lights, spot lights and hand on gun you ask? Well I did what every gangster, hoodlum, scumbag does to draw the police's attention, I was standing on the sidewalk at the end of the driveway with my truck parked at the curb and it's lights on. Guess she didn't like the way I was dressed. What a way to end a Friday night of one of the shittiest weeks that I have had in a long, long time. Which of course was my punishment from the Universe for having one of the best weeks in a long, long time, the week prior! As many of you know, I hurt myself pretty good during bike week, I think I may have ruptured a disc in my low back, yet another story to tell, just not now. I was finally feeling a bit better and got up and around yesterday for the first time. I mean putting my pants on without having to lay down, pulling on socks and tying my own damn shoes, it was victorious! I needed some relief and figured a good night's rest would do it. WRONG! Although I got the good night's rest, I awoke with serious pain again, all my joints hurt bad and everywhere I had ever hurt in my life or had surgery on seemed like fresh injuries again. What gives Universe? Not to mention, why is it 12:30 and it's dark out? Well we had a rare rainy day here in the valley of the sun and between the rain and the rare humidity, I felt like the lone hooker to show up at a Mormon Convention, I was hurting, sore and exhausted! We had to attend a party that we were invited to, but first we had to ride on out to the mountain that we use to live on. I hadn't really missed that place until spending time there again, it is truly spectacular. I stood outside looking at the mountains and watched coyotes walk across in front of me like they didn't give a holy hell that I was there. I took the ride with my girl to try and get some real estate contract done and then shoot over to the party. So what are you writing about Jack you ask, why the fucking weather report? I'll tell you why you are getting this from me. It's this amazing state. Amazing bad at times with it's Gestapo type of policing and Amazing good with it's views and climate. People ask where I live and I tell them simply, I live in paradise, I live in the Valley of the Sun! As I pulled up on to this guys mini ranch my eyes opened wide and my wife smiled back at me, I thought you would like to come here and wait till you meet Bob, the 78 year bachelor who's about to be remarried again next month to his hot young 72 year old girl friend. While the contracts were getting done he let me have run of the place. "Have you seen the garage yet"? Feel free to go check it out, and I did...... but first, I HAD TO BUNDLE UP TO THE DAMN NECK. One week ago today, it was 100-102 degrees, depending on where you stood in the Valley. Not so much today! Check out the video, it's short, sweet and to the point! Hope you enjoy. After the Universe kicking me in the balls, today got off to a slow start, got pretty damn cool or should I say cold in the middle and ended with an amazing good time. I am loading up some video from that and doing a bit of research to get my facts straight before I write it and post it! Hope everyone has had a great weekend and from now on I am wearing a jock strap and a cup for when the Universe decides to randomly kick me in the balls! To the World, the Universe and Mother Nature, no longer will I be unprepared. Till I see you on the road, Keep the wind in your face, Tits in your back and the Man off your ass! Your friend, Jack Shit


  1. say jack,what was the cops beef?

  2. I picked up a metal cart that was on the sidewalk at the neighbors house next to the garbage can by the street. Obviously a threat to national security.