It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


Over the years, I've come to grips with certain factors in our life.  For example, one step forward and two steps back.  I've come to grips with the fact that in my life, no Good Deed goes unpunished.  I hear people say that the bad things in life are a test from God or the Universe or whatever that particular person who was saying it to me at the time believed in themselves.  I was just getting in to some really heavy, possible life changing thoughts, the thoughts I was working on and cultivating this very moment may very well change the world.  But holy shit, Hangover 2 just started so, I'm going to have to put those thoughts on hold!

Okay, well I'm back and although that movie was funny as hell, I've completely lost those world altering thoughts that I had earlier.  I tried to keep them fresh in my mind and I did, right up until the end of the movie when they showed the photo of the monkey who caught the ping pong ball that was shot out of the Bangkok hookers twat with his mouth!  From that moment on, all thoughts were washed from my mind and replaced with hysterical laughter!  So we will now forgo any of that magical wisdom and Jack Shitlosophy that seeps from the depths of my mind and we will get on to better things like going out and bringing in the New Year with a bang!

We in the Shit family are not much in the way of tradition.  Although Diane and I have been together now for nearly 26 years, we just roll with the punches, go with the flow or let the proverbial tide take us wherever it will.  There is one thing however that we have held pretty sacred in our lives.  That sacred thing that we cherish so very much, our one family tradition, what is it you ask?  IT'S OUR NEW YEARS EVE PARTY!  We began the tradition with just a few friend way back when we began dating.  We were more or less kids back then so it was a great way to be able to drink and party and not get in to any real trouble, not to mention that Diane's big, beautiful house was completely empty because her parents were in Italy for damn near a month!  From that day on, it became our night!  Since that first party, we've hosted New Years Eve nearly every single year since with the rare exception.  Over the years, these parties have become both famous and infamous I'm both proud and ashamed to say!  A combination of hard work and good fortune has allowed us to always have a home large enough to accommodate anyone and everyone who wanted to stay.  We've always thought that this particular night was amateur night.  I never wanted myself or anyone that I cared for to be hit head on while driving home by some pencil pusher who had a few too many wine spritzers at his mistresses house and was trying to race back home to his wife and family.  So we more or less insisted that everyone stay.  Over the years, it just became common knowledge.  Guests not only came with their favorite pillows but began to show up with motor homes, pull behind campers and some maniacs would even have the balls to sleep outside in a tent.  There were years that the overnight temps reached 0 and these lunatics would be asleep in a tent in my back yard!

My days of hosting massive house parties for this occasion are over for now.  This past year and the last few before it have been a motherfucker for us and so many.  I really have not had the excitement or enthusiasm to host the party.  Little did I know that carrying on our tradition was exactly what I needed to re-ignite that enthusiasm.  As you ladies have heard this phrase before, I decided to not go full pump, but to just "put the tip in"!  We kept the party small and had a total of 20 people or so.  Although there were some great friends who could not be there, the people who were are the closest people we have on earth.  About 3 hours before the party, instead of being wiped out from cleaning up the patio and the house, I felt more and more excited.  As you guys know, I shoot lots of photos.  I always have some type of camera on me.  This party was so damn good that I didn't shoot one single photo.  I had so much fun that it never even dawned on me to grab the camera.  Luckily for us, our friend Jill had hers and shot some great shots of the night.  Many magical moments were captured this night but hands down, my favorite shot was this one.
They have now made certain types of fireworks legal here in Arizona.  Unfortunately for us, the types the folks around us decided to blow off were not the legal ones.  My dogs were freaking out, especially the one with the green glowing eyes on the left.  That poor dog was so horrified that he would not even step outside.  Anywhere you stepped, he was behind you, next to you or jamming his head between your legs.  We had to dose him with xanex just to keep him from having a canine heart attack.  We didn't know what else to do.  As you can see here, it had long since hit and he was just totally chilled!

Look at the night time temps that we were blessed with for the party!  I know that it seems warm, yet it really did not feel that way.   That is why we had to drink so much, solely to keep warm of course.
 Discussing the art of the chopper,
I like to simply call this shot, THE NEW SPICE GIRLS!  We've had both of these dogs for a long time now.  Over all these years, neither one has ever sat still for a posed photo.  Guess the xanex helps!
Here we have Long Jon schooling me in the ways of the game of pool.  I lost and learned nothing!
 This is our friend, our neighbor and our extraordinary photographer for the evening, Ms. Jilly!
Poor Pinky Pancake, she waited and waited for that damn elevator to take her down to the basement!
Two words, Weenie Tots!  Who doesn't love Weenie Tots?  These were home made by my girl!

What struck me this year as mind blowing and different than most other parties that we have thrown was the incredible generosity of our guests.   Everyone showed up with something to take the burden off of us and some showed up with gifts that were amazing!  How do you ever go wrong with a bottle of Jack?  You can't!  Thanks Brother Adam, you rule.  Our photographer Ms. Jilly, came with gift in hand and it was like nothing I've ever seen.  If you are like me and you like to beat your meat, then you too will truly appreciate the gift that she was kind enough to bring us.  Here, I'll show ya.

Right after Sturgis, I had asked Pinky about doing a microphone tattoo on my dead arm.  All I told her was that I wanted an old mic.  I could not come across with the idea that I had in my mind.  I mean not at all.  There was no way for me to describe it.  With no input, she showed up with this piece of art, framed and it blew my mind!  This photo does it absolutely no justice!  BAD ASS!
 While hanging out in the garage with some of these fine party attendees, the one and only GTP comes strolling in and says, I got something for ya man.  He hands me a garbage bag!  I love garbage bags.  I thought he was just adding to my bike luggage collection.  Well that was until I opened it!  I am now the proud owner of a George The Painter Original piece of artwork.  Again, believe me when I tell you, these photos in no way shape or form do either of these pieces of art any justice at all!
Looking in to the eyes of this chick will send chills down your spine.  Just staring at this painting made me want to run down to the projects and score some dope!  Luckily, I don't drive on NY eve!

The party could not have gone any better than it did!  There was no drama, no bullshit, nothing but great times, hard partying and non stop laughter!  I can't put in to words how lucky I feel to have all of these amazing people in my life, in our lives!  If we truly are judged by those that we spend our time with, then I MUST BE AMAZING!

The only other tradition we have is our New Years Day bike ride.  We had planned on joining the group and riding to Cave Creek.  THAT DID NOT HAPPEN!  When it came time to leave for the ride, our house guests were just beginning to get their asses up and moving.  I didn't mind because it just gave us more time to hang out and enjoy each others company.  Later in the day, once everyone had gone home, I rolled the Road Glide out of the garage and we took off for the mountains.  It had been a good long while since the lil woman and I just took a ride.  A ride with no real destination or arrival time set in stone, just a ride to nowhere and it was great.  We use to live on Superstition Mountain and it is the only thing I miss about our last home.  That is where I pointed the bike and that is where we ended up.  The Goldfield Ghost Town was a perfect spot to walk and talk and sit down and have a beer, not to mention that the riding and the view is just plain spectacular!

We took a whole bunch of pics that day.  Every single shot came out perfect but one.  Oddly enough, only a portion of one photo was screwed up.  I guess they don't call this area a Ghost Town for no good reason.  I don't really believe in all that shit because I know of no proof positive that any of this exists.  I do recognize things that are very difficult to explain.  We were sitting at the table and I had the camera on a mini tripod.  I held it out in front of us and shot the pic.  I just couldn't get the angle right.  I thought I would put it on the table, set the timer and shoot a better photo.  I set the timer for 10 seconds and stood next to Diane.  All of a sudden, I got this crazy chill.  Now mind you, it was nearly 80 degrees in the heat of the day.  At the same time, I got a bit sick to my stomach.  I didn't think much of it, after all, I partied the night before like it was my last day on earth.  In as fast as the feelings came, they left.  I remember the very moment that it happened because it was just as I set the timer.  Look closely at the photo and look at my head and face.  Look at the ORB floating in front of my face. Not one other photo had this.  None before and none after!

Did you notice that it is not in front of my shirt, that it is not in front of Diane's face or that it is not anywhere else?  Pretty damn strange if you ask me!

The sun would soon fall out of the sky and beautiful day or not, the temps would drop quickly.  Even though our total ride that day was only around 70 miles or so, I wanted to ride out in to the desert before the sun set and get one great shot of the day, of our ride and capture for eternity, just how happy I was this first day of 2012.  I wanted to capture it for those days ahead that I won't be so happy on.  On those days, I will be able to look back at it, remember that feeling and hopefully re-capture it.  We hopped on the bike and rode off towards the setting sun.  I took a 20 mile detour hoping for the perfect hill, the perfect back drop and all at the perfect light!  Just as our luck would have it this first day of our last year, we nailed it.
So I go through the trouble and run the risk of not getting the shot before the sun set.  I ride out in to the desert to find the perfect Saguaro Cactus to shoot in front of on the perfect stretch of road.  The road has very little traffic on it and that is why I chose it.  I can stand in the middle of the road and shoot or I can put the mini tripod down on the road and know that it won't be crushed by a passing lunatic!  So we hit everything just right.  We stop and I line the bike up directly with the setting sun.  I play the shadows and light.  I've got the perfect shot lined up, it has all paid off!  WE DID IT!  With that, in all this massive open desert, on this long, lonely stretch of road where there are hundreds of thousands if not millions of these Saguaro Cactus, this guy comes pulling up and quite literally parks right in the frame of the shot I've set up.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  He gets out of his truck, sees us shooting pics and walks right up and through the shots.  "Are you taking photos"?  UHM, NO, I'M ABOUT TO JAM THIS CAMERA AND TRIPOD UP MY ASS, YOU FUCKING MORON!    He then says, wow, I bet it will be a good one.  Hope I'm not in the way.  Well, you walked through, your shadow is in the photo now and YOUR FUCKING TRUCK IS NOW PARKED NEXT TO THE GOD DAMNED BIKE!  I will admit that it truly was a bad ass truck!  It was so damn strange.  We were just stunned.  He took a few pics of his truck, of us and then the cactus, got in his truck and drove away!  I looked at Diane, she at me and at the same time we said to each other "what the fuck was that"?  Then we just laughed and tried to beat the darkness home.
You believe that shit?  As you can see, I had the shot lined up, the shadow spreading its way across the ground and actually climbing up that cactus.  Now it is parked under his fucking truck!  We get back on the bike, laugh, shake our heads and ride away.  We don't make it a mile away and there is the guy parked on the side of the road, right next to another cactus!  Did he stop just to fuck up our photos?  Guess we will never know!

I had an amazing last day and first day of the year.  I am grateful for all the good that I have in my life because it makes me humble to know that I've been blessed and I've learned to be grateful for all the bad in my life because it builds character.  I am not going to lie to you, I told you that I never, ever would.  I would like to have more good than bad this year, I think it would be a nice change of pace once and for all!

I wish you each and every single one of you who have chosen to take this journey with me here on the blog and follow my antics and support us when times are bad, only the very best that life can offer.  I wish you each, love, health, happiness and joy in this upcoming year!  Live each and every day like it is your last and remember once again that there is never a wrong time to do the right thing!  HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE and from the bottom of my heart, I honored to have you along for the ride!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit



  1. WOW! Sounds like you had a great New Years. It's great when something so simple as a night with friends can give us such a recharge. Hope this year brings good things to you. Maybe we can actually meet each other at BMR if you get to make it this year.

  2. Yup, life is good when you come right down to it. Loved ones, good times, music, riding... who could ask for more love and beauty in life. Life adventures are grand and wish you and Diane the very best of them.

  3. It was a Great night! Thanks again for hosting a memorable night......