It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I guess the rule of 3X's is true!

You guys know how it goes right?  You ask a girl how many men she has slept with and she says "uhm I think maybe 8"?  Well right there you know for sure that it is at least 24!  The rule of three!  I learned this from one of the American Pie movies, so it has to be accurate and true!

Well I guessed I should have factored this in on renovating this last home.  We started this damn thing mid August and although it has come so far since we've gotten it, it is still no where near being done yet and it is making me NUTS!  My contractor explained how close we were just a few days ago to being finished!  I have to admit, I was pretty frickin excited.  Once we wrap up the construction, I hit it hard with landscape and walk backwards off the property as I pound the for sale sign in to the ground.  I've gotten a lot of messages from quite a few of you asking about progress of the house and have asked once again to see some updated pics.  So here you go.  I'll try to line em up, so you can see before and after shots.  Oh well, really before and STILL GOING ON shots, we haven't hit the AFTER part yet!

As you can see by the pics, the face of the house has changed drastically.  We got ride of the horrible rotting wood siding and blasted a hole in the front and put in a big double window.  We did stucco and and painted the face and did all the exterior trim in Chocolate Brown.  We pulled down that awful railing and had planned on replacing it with an oak rail, but decided not to put anything in its place.

We knocked the ever loving shit out of the existing kitchen.  We took out the pantry and and what I can only imagine was a split laundry room or I should say closet.  The water lines were there, but I could never figure out how you could put a washer or dryer in to it?  I guess that is why I found matching hot and cold water lines on the outside of the house on the other side of the wall.  We pulled up the god awful linoleum and ran 20" ceramic tile throughout the kitchen, hallway and great room.  The bathrooms were so nasty, I'm not sure I would shit in them if I was sick.  When we first looked at the house, I said the master bath reminded me of an Iraqi Truck Stop! 

We pulled out the shitter, the shower and the vanity.  We ran the same 20" tile on the bathroom floors and did 12" inch on the walls and ran glass tile through it!  I got to tell you, the glass tile, although expensive as hell, it really is worth it and shows that you took the time to go the extra mile on the renovation.  We just have to swap out the horrible mirrors and put the shower head and knobs back on.

The main bath was just as nasty.  I swore they were making bath tub crank in it.  Or it was one of the worst tub rings I've ever seen!  We did the same in this bath.  We ran the same flooring and tiled the the tub surround, replaced the vanity and shitter.

We still have to yank out the mirror in this bathroom as well.  Yes I know, it should have come off while doing the demo, don't ask me why it didn't.  Why are the tops of the toilet tanks off you ask?  Because there is no water turned on to the house.  So each time one of the guys has to shit, he gets a five gallon pail of water from the pool, pours it in the tank and flushes away!  We are nearly there with this room as well.  Same shit, different day or I should say same shit and still another fuckin day or week or month!  Hell we've crossed in to yet another SEASON!

For the most part, with the exception of touch up paint and such, the bedrooms are done.  Thank God something is close to being done.

That's the master bedroom and although it's not a huge master, it really came out pretty nice.  The 2nd and 3rd bedrooms came out just as well.

We wiped out the massive storage closet from the second family room and pulled the wood stove out.  We closed up one doorway and punched through another and now the room has a walk way in to the pantry / laundry room that we built, inside the house I may add.  We decided that the home will more than likely be purchased by a young family with kids, so we carpeted this huge room so that kids could play on the floor.

As you can see, the home has come a long, long way since we picked it up.  Like any job, it always takes longer than you expect, but this one is just killing me!  We are so very close to getting this one on the market that I can taste it.  So if you know anyone looking for a totally renovated 3 br home with every major part of it brand new!  Oh yeah and it has a built in pool with 180 degree mountain views!  If you know anyone, hit us up, this is a win win for everyone!  Next, I'll hit you with the landscape that gets done. 

So there you have it my friends, there is the latest update on the Phoenix property.  Thank you so much for your interest and your curiosity.  Someone asked me if it irritated me that they hit me up with real estate and renovation questions, of course I don't, not even in the least.

So until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

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