It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!



Saturday, July 9, 2011

LADIES LOVE MY PICKLE!

Before you start writing me notes, messages and leave comments oh here, wondering what ladies are loving on my pickle, I'll tell ya!   I had mixed feelings on the whole sordid affair.  My guilt was eating me alive and it was getting harder and harder to keep the entire thing a secret!  Imagine if you would that guilty pleasure of having secret sex on the side with someone who is really unattractive but the best sex that you have ever had.  Typically, you would go to one an other's home, meet in dark alley ways or at the park in the woods, LATE AT NIGHT!  This was not the girl you took out to the clubs with you or out for an expensive, romantic dinners or God forbid, take them to meet your friends but that is just what I did and I have such fond feelings that are growing in to so much more!  I am coming clean to everyone, I may have strayed and be falling in love with another! 

Our relationship became so powerful that I didn't care who knew about us!  I took her out to meet my friends.  At first I could see them leaning in to each other and whispering, then pointing and I think my mistress knew it too!  Well she was going to show them!  That ol' girl performed so flawlessly and showed me things I did not know existed!  The other guys were no longer looking at her ugly nose or bad make up but looking at the way "she strut her shit" and I found myself being less ashamed and more proud, "YEAH,THAT'S MY GIRL"!  As you may or may not know, two weeks ago I took a last minute trip to California for Born Free 3, while travelling together we learned so much more about each other.  Believe me, I know you are thinking that we can become blinded by something we don't normally experience or something we didn't even know was missing our entire life!  On occasion, that something new you are only going to do briefly, then end it and keep it a secret grabs hold of you and it's traction is so amazing that you can't break it lose if you try!   Early on, you can't stop thinking about the girl you left back at home and what would she think, how painful would it be, if she saw what we were doing ?  The problem was that not only were there an incredible amount of people at Born Free 3, but a great many who knew me and knew that my partner for the weekend was not the sexy ass bitch I normally appear with.   2 weekends ago, we became a couple and there was nothing that I could do about it!  The whole world found out.  I could keep the time we were spending together a secret anymore, hell all kinds of people took pics of us together.  Most "friends" didn't address it, others did.  Nearly every conversations would start with "so what's the deal man"?  Where's your girl? 

Being good friends, some may not have agreed with what I was doing but didn't bust my balls about it too bad.  Others questioned my judgement or said "she don't compare" and things like that.  I took it in stride.  With each moment that would pass, I would glance over and shockingly catch others checking her out.  I could feel a little bit of pride well up in me.... "yeah, she's with me".... I would think.  I cut out of Born Free 3 and head back to the campground about 25 minutes earlier than everyone else.  We got there and we were totally alone.  Looking at her cooling down next to the lake, I realized that it was hard to betray my girl but what's a guy to do.  I'm not getting any younger.  We can all agree on that right?  Show me someone who is?

We came back from Orange County and snuck back in to Phoenix in the middle of the night, just shy of 4 am.  At first, I didn't say anything.  I just watched and waited.  I waited for the emails to come and the pictures to begin popping up all over the net, but they didn't.  I think the longer that this remained largely unknown to many, to bigger the toll it took on my gut, on my heart and on my soul, it was eating me alive and this is why right here, right now, I AM COMING CLEAN TO THE WHOLE WORLD!

Today was the final straw.  What took me by total surprise today was rolling up to an event and watching the girls go ape shit for her.  I mean wow, they walked right up and said how hot she was and were rubbing their hands all over her!  I stood there, mouth open wide, in shock!  She certainly wasn't fighting it, I really believe that she loved the attention she was getting from all of these ladies!  While I didn't say anything, I call could thing was "oh hell yeah", "this is going to be an interesting event".  I was only there for a few moments when I was asked if it was okay if they did a photo shoot with my new girl and all the pinup girls.  I was speechless.  "Yeah, I guess so", "really, are you sure, you aren't fucking with me are you"?  No, they were serious.  I grabbed a beer and those who know me, know damn well, I don't drink beer.  I guess I was just a bit nervous.  They took photos, hundreds and hundreds of photos.  Without exaggeration, there had to be at least 7 cameras flashing at the same time and a few cell phones capturing a few shots casually.   I stood just out of frame and that's when I heard, hey Jack Shit, c'mon man, you are missing out, don't you want to get in the mix?  C'mon man, get in "the group"!  HOLY SHIT!  This was worth all the trouble I was going to be in!  I mean honestly folks, if this was happening to you, would you even stop to think about your girl at home?  That's what I thought! 

The secret is out to everyone now!  So many photos were taken today and they are already popping up on line and on face book.  I may as well beat everyone to it and share a few myself! 




SO I'M COMING CLEAN, and I am going to break the news to the world myself rather than read about it here or see it on TMZ.  I love my FXRS!  To my knuckehead KOKO, I'm sorry.  Not only did I stray, but I enjoyed it, hell, I loved it.  To be quite honest, I am going to do it again and again.  Hell, I may not take you for a good, long, hard ride for sometime!  The way she performed on our trip to California two weeks ago, the way I could twist her and turn her and the way I could lay her over to either side was like nothing I ever experienced before.  I didn't know this was missing from my life but now that I know it was, how can I ever be expected to stop?  I just hope that our mutual love and respect will hold us together and you find yourself willing to now live in an open relationship, because I'm open to it!  I have gotten past how she looked and fallen in love with her soul!  It's a beautiful soul!  So friends, don't hate me for what I have done, just try to understand me for it.  Please, don't judge me!

While on the trip, everyone started calling you the pickle, then the green pickle and you just shook it off, you didn't let it bother you at all.  By the end of the trip, you were the Green Pickle Sickle and you earned it!  What I find shocking is how much the ladies love my pickle?  I still can't get over it.  What I am more shocked about is how many men admire my pickle.  It is still weird to hear someone ask, do you mind if I sit on your pickle?  HELL YEAH I MIND, I hardly even know you!

Everyone have a great weekend and until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

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