THE STAR TREATMENT

There is a time in your career when you know you have made it! You reach the pinnacle of your success so far and you stand atop, look down on the little people whose backs you have walked on to get where you have gotten and you pull out your penis and you pee, taking pride in the distance and quality of the arch that you are making. You smile as the golden shower rains down on them and you take one more huge hit from your Gold and Diamond encrusted Crack Pipe and as you exhale, you order your assistant to run and go get some more. You bark that you don't care that her baby is going in to surgery in an hour, GO SCORE ME SOME DOPE NOW and then maybe you can go, maybe....

Well, I have yet to make it to that point in my career and who knows if I ever will, but a boy can dream can't he? I love when people say, "man you sure got it tough" or "I wish I had your job". Well I bet you do. We live large when we are on the road trying to entertain you fine folks. Amazing pay, travel, quality food and incomparable luxury accommodations are just a few of those perks that every one always wish that they got too. Last night while flipping through some old files you may have seen that video I found of me after my long talk with my knuck about going to Sturgis. Well I found this video in the same hidden sub folder and I had forgotten all about it. When I hit play, I just knew it was something that I had to share. This is just a brief clip of what it is like to be a "big star" and what it is like to get the "star treatment". I know that you are going to be really jealous but hey, what's the point in living like a rock star if you can't rub it in people's faces? I may not be able to spray the world with a golden shower and smoke crack out of a platinum pipe yet, but as you will see in this video, I AM GETTING REALLY CLOSE! I hope you enjoy! This is where I was lucky enough to stay for either 10 or 11 days, I can't even remember any more!



IS THAT LUXURIOUS OR WHAT? Nothing like sleeping in a tent that is slightly bigger than shoulder wide with nothing but a Don Wood bed roll and a pillow that I jammed in the truck last minute! If I planned it just right and curled myself up towards the front of my tent, I could almost sit up straight, almost! I actually had to get dressed and undressed outside of the tent. So every morning at 3 am and 9 am, if you were close enough, you got to see me standing on the front lawn of Bad Ass Floyd's place either wrapped in a towel or in my under armour underwear. What I found to be my favorite part was that I set my tent up right next to the hose bib that apparently had a slow leak and just dripped and dripped. The extraordinarily green grass right there should have been a dead giveaway but I thought, wow, that looks like it will be soft. So laying in the equivalent of saran wrap on damp ground was like being in a Sauna. Here is another hint from this "big star", when selecting a spot for you luxury accommodations, don't judge it by where the sun is in the afternoon, think about where it will rise in the morning! Yeah, I didn't account for that either. So I would crawl, exhausted in to my tent anywhere between 3 and 4 am and lay there until I could wind down enough to fall asleep, even though I was entirely shot out from working for 15 hours or so on my feet and that would take some time. Each day, I was lucky enough to fall asleep not too much before the sun would rise and all the people there to enjoy the rally would be waking up to start their days. Starting there day would include laughing and screaming about the night before or the really great part, the folks who were drunk and fought the night before would pick right up, exactly where they left off when they passed out, then would fire up their bikes to work on them or go for a ride. As you can see from the video where my bike was parked just outside my tent, that I also got the added bonus of the extra carbon monoxide that would catch in my tent's vestibule area! Within a day or two of arriving there, not one square inch of that property did not have a tent set up or a bike parked on it! Floyd really was a good host and within a few days we hit it off and became friends for life. The great part about it all though, honestly, that it was actually less than 100 feet away from the back gate of the Spoke so it was an easy commute. Now I know why everyone always parks their tour buses right out back behind the stage, it's the commute!

The truly funny part is that these were excellent accommodations and I could have brought a bigger tent but my big tent never made it home from last year's Choppertown Camparound. Like I said in last night's blog, I had virtually no time to get my shit together before it was time to leave for Sturgis.... any way, this wall all in fun, so I hope that you got a laugh out of it. So next time when you see someone who is "living the life", remember, there is another side of "living the life" that most don't really see!

Here is the thing though, I would not give it up for anything, this is what I do and it's what I have always wanted to do! I BRING SMILES ACROSS THE MILES, IT'S MY DESTINY! I hope everyone has a great week and until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit