MY GOD, YOU BETTER DRESS THAT WOUND!

*******WARNING********
THIS POST MAY BE TOO GRAPHIC FOR SOME

I guess it started about ten days or so ago. My dear friend Bean're, the world famous Gypsy Biker, the Mayor of Fun ran in to a bit of trouble. I am not sure what caused it, how it began or even when. Was it caused by some horrid, toxic, poisonous creature from the desert or perhaps caused by some horrid, toxic, poisonous creature from a bike rally years ago? I guess one may never know. It began as a tiny little bump much like a pimple would. As any red blooded American male, Bean took to giving it a good squeeze and got a tiny lil pop. Nothing like you would expect from a zit of this quality. So like every single one of us would do, he took to REALLY working that bitch! Like an Amish Milkmaid, he worked from sun up to sun down on this "alleged zit" but to no avail. Not one single drop of that magical pimple puss? Confusion set in? What the hell is this? As a few days passed and not even one single re-pop, that tiny little pimple began to grow to no bullshit, the size of a key lime under his skin on the front of the bicep. Which for the record really gave him a nice peak when he flexed, almost like Popeye. Anyway, it really began to look scary and I offered to take him to my house and perform surgery on it. Hell, I've seen it done before, how hard could it be? I have rubber gloves I use to clean up dog shit, I have a razor blade, that's like a scalpel, I had some goggles for when it burst, I WAS READY TO OPERATE! I even offered to put a used syringe in that bitch and try and suck it dry. I must admit that I was both shocked and disappointed when he turned me down on my offer.

Well Bean decided it was best to get to the hospital of course against my better judgement. He went and sure as hell there was no fluid, no puss, no nothing to get out of the damn thing. Turns out that it was an infection that there is no way to tell how it started. Let me say this to any of you ladies who are reading this, it's okay, it's not contagious and it is in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM an STD... so hold on to your places in line! Your turn will come. Anyway, they gave Brother Bean some knock anything dead meds and instructions on how to take care of it. Bean followed the doctors instructions to the letter and did exactly what they said to do. Now another week has passed and not only has it not gone away, or gotten even the least bit better, it in fact, in my opinion looks much worse. Being the intelligent guy that he is, Bean're went on line, opened up Web MD and checked to see what Web MD suggested he do. First and foremost, make sure the area is clean and then immediately DRESS THE WOUND to the best of your ability. I think he did a phenomenal job in dressing the wound! I only hope that Bean're is around if something ever happens to me and is there to dress my wounds as well as he did his own. If I didn't know better, I would have thought for sure that while in the Marine Corp, he would have been a field medic or something. I will leave it up to you to decide on how good a job he did. Like Web MD said to do, Bean're immediately DRESSED THE WOUND. I was lucky enough to be there to capture it on video. I also took a ton of still photos as well, but I can't post them in this same blog, it won't let me!