My friends pain, is my pain!

So I was up against a really hard deadline for my next two pieces for Cycle Source Magazine and everything in the universe has been against me in trying to get them done.  Today I finally found the time to sit down on the couch, fire up the lap top and get on down to the business of "fire side story telling" that I enjoy so very much.  The pieces that I wrote about were the Sturgis Rally this past August and the Boot Ride out in LA a few weeks ago.  I just could not get going, pulling back the memories from an event that was more than a month ago, an event that I damn near crawled back to my camper from each night made it a bit difficult to recall the details enough to share them.  As I sat and began to write, the memories began to flood back.  The fact that I got to see Bart Mitchel's photos that he posted up on Bikerhotline.com just two days ago ignited those memories.  If you get a chance, take a look at them and if you were there, some things you may have forgotten from being black out drunk may come back to you and if you were not there with us, you will see the madness that was Sturgis at The Spoke this year and my story will help make sense even more when you pick up the Sturgis issue of the mag.  Virtually the same thing happened with the Boot Ride and photos from that event.  By the time that I was done writing these two stories, I was feeling great.  I mean I was really feeling warm and wonderful.  I had just more or less re-lived two great events from my recent life and was experiencing some of those incredible feelings all over again.  The combination of those great feelings and the fact that the stress from being up against the deadline was now over, I fell asleep with my laptop on where else but my lap.  I drifted off for a brief while and awoke from a terrible dream.  Not only was it terrible and totally fucking weird (let's just say it began by popping what I thought was a pimple next to my belly button and having bot flies crawl from my skin to squeezing and squeezing the area until baby birds were coming from the same hole) and that was only the beginning of the dream.  I felt like shit when I woke up, sent a text to the people who we were supposed to meet for dinner saying "yeah, ain't making it" and fell back asleep.

I awoke two hours or so later with a feeling of impending doom.  This is not normally how you wake up.  I don't normally wake up with a feeling of sadness especially after falling asleep feeling so good.  I noticed that the laptop never timed out and was still on so I picked it up to distract me and get my mind on something else and in that moment, the very first post I saw on face book was from a dear friend, someone who I can now call one of my oldest friends and a person for whom I have nothing but love and respect.  This friend is legendary for being generous, kind, talented and someone who would give you the shirt off of his back, something he actually did just a few months ago when I stopped in his shop in Jersey on my trip back home.  This dear friend that I speak of is the one and only Richie Pan or as many just call him PAN! 

The photo above was taken the day before I had to leave to fly back to Arizona and the previous night we had learned that Aidan Jack Seeger had finally lost his long, hard fought battle.  I jumped in my rental car, drove 45 minutes down to Dark Star Tattoo to spend 20 minutes with my friend and have a shot in Aidan's honor.  This brother is nothing but class, just like every member of his family.

This friend has gone through so much in these last few years with family, sickness, loss, joy and pain all one after another.  He and his wife Cindy, much like Diane and myself have been together forever and they are an amazing couple.  Having someone like Cindy by his side through this roller coaster over the last few years is probably what helped to keep him sane!  Rich is truly one of the kindest people and most incredible artists I've ever known, not to mention the builder and rider of two of my all time favorite bikes, his amazing panhead Viola and the Fifth Knuckle, one of the coolest bikes I'VE EVER SEEN!  They say that great people come from great people and I believe this to be the case here. 

Tonight, the very first post that  I saw stunned me!  I had to read it and re-read it again and again just to be sure that I was not mistaken.  My brother, Richie Pan had just lost his dad!  These two had the relationship that every father and son dream of!  Papa Pan was an incredibly friendly guy and I had to really try to think back to a time that he did not greet me with a big handshake and a I had to try even harder to remember if I had ever seen him without a smile on his face and the answer that I came up with was NO, I had not!  When you move so far away from the people you love it becomes hard to keep up on everything going on in their lives but thanks to social media we can stay involved without the other even knowing that you are keeping a watchful eye out on them!  Papa Pan if memory serves me correctly fought a long hard battle himself and came out the other side victorious!  Roughly around the same time, Brother Pan lost his mom.  Two earth shattering events to have to go through and yet he handled them with class, support and dignity.  I remember that each time I saw Rich's dad, I said two things to him because he was Portugese, "Bondia an Uncashastavazia".  The first meant good morning and the other meant the box was empty.  The third thing that I said as I would leave was Cay Cariyo, I'm sure I spelled that wrong but it means, WHAT THE FUCK?  He would just laugh at me like I was a lunatic and he had the kindest smile and warmest eyes.  He would sit around the tattoo shop and hang out with everyone there and at the parties and he rode his harley riding ass off!  Like I said, great people come from great people!  I'll never forget seeing him for the first time roll his bike in to the Burnout Pit at Richie's annual Pan Stock party and smoke the tire!

This shot above is of one of those times. I just stole this shot right from Pan's page.  I'm sure he won't mind.

I won't get in to the details of how he passed as it is not my place or right to say or discuss but I just want the entire world to know that we have suffered a great loss.  When my friends are in pain, I am in pain and tonight, my heart bleeds!  One of the kindest people I've ever known, lost the kindest person he has ever known and I am crushed for the entire Pannara Family tonight!  As of right now, I know of no details of anything that we can do to help ease this pain, or of any way to donate to a cause that he loved or even so much as a funeral or memorial for this great man and when I find out, I will certainly share this with you all.  If you know Brother Pan, drop him a line, post on his wall or send him a message and let him know just how much he is loved and respected!  I always say and I will stick with that here yet again, the greatest people on earth are snatched away from us far too early while the scum of the earth just float along the top leaving nothing but damage and heartache in their wake. 

LONG MAY YOU RUN PAPA PAN!

YET ANOTHER PHOTO PROVING THAT THE SMILE NEVER LEFT THIS MANS FACE!  It was an honor to know him, to have talked with him and to have shared time with him, as limited as it was, this will be a man that I will forever hold warm memories of.  The world is much worse off now that you are gone but Heaven will be a much better place just for having you there! 

Until we see each other on the road again, be good to each other, live each and every day as if it could be your very last because you know what, it just may be!  Love hard, love long and love well!

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit