It's been a good ride so far!
Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
It's better to give than receive, ANAL that is!
I myself am feeling a little bit bummed out today. We had big plans to spend our Christmas helping others in need and volunteering at a soup kitchen or a shelter, a VA hospital or any place that would have us. As it turns out, Christmas day is the ONE DAY A YEAR that these places don't need anyone! I thought that it would have been the exact opposite. I thought it would be the one day a year when these places would be desperate for help. I guess you live and you learn. We had to fill out applications to volunteer, can you imagine? "What experience do you have ladling soup into a bowl" kind of questions, are you fucking kidding me? So through a friend, we found out that at the Phoenix Convention Center, they host thousands of homeless, feed them, get them cleaned up, get them warm jackets, cut their hair, give them cell phones so that they may call people that perhaps they have not spoken to in years and a whole assortment of other great services and we were so excited to be part of it. They turn no volunteers away and always have room for more! To give you an idea of the scope of it, last year they gave 3 thousand hair cuts on Christmas day, incredible! We were up all night as Diane was not feeling well and planned to still get up around 7 to get ready and head out. I tried for 2 hours to wake Diane up and damn near got hardly a grunt out of her. I waited until 10am and tried again. When I finally got her coherent enough to answer me, I knew right then and there that our volunteering mission for the day was shot to hell! Christmas day and Diane can barely get out of bed. As I write this, it is nearly 4 pm and she still lays there feeling awful and it breaks my heart! They say that when it is not the holidays is the time that these places need the volunteers so we will do our part another time and as often as we can, so I'll get over it, but I still feel really sad that on a day that we should be celebrating Diane feels horrible! If I could have only one Christmas wish, I would wish that I could turn the tables and flip her suffering on to me and that she could wake each day and never have to worry about the pain that she lives with!
On a positive note, I have to mention the obvious, today is the 25th and if you are reading this, THE WORLD DID NOT COME TO AN END on the 21st! What a crock of shit that was. Since I am a fan of Ancient Aliens on the history channel I still have a small part of me that things perhaps the 21st was just day one of the beginning of the end! I guess we will have to watch, wait and see. It is clear that the world is not exactly becoming a "better place"!
2012 was my very best rally season since I got back into "the scene" instead of just doing stand up and I loved each and every grueling minute of it! 2013 is shaping up so far to absolutely blow the previous year out of the water! I have many gigs planned all over the country and I have the great honor to once again be the host of all the madness at the Legendary Broken Spoke Saloon and this year is the 25th anniversary of this incredible place and it proudly still holds the title as THE WORLDS BIGGEST BIKER BAR! We have added what we call pop up rallies to our schedule so for those of you who send me messages or comment on pics that we post up about how bummed out they are that they can't make it to the "major" rallies and never get to attend a party at the Broken Spoke well keep your fingers crossed because we may be bringing a Broken Spoke to a town near you soon enough! I also just booked a major event on the east coast and I'll be dropping that news shortly. I want to thank you all for your incredible support in 2012 and I give you my word that YOU AIN'T SEEN SHIT YET! 2013 is shaping up to be huge and when the time is right and if what we have planned comes to fruition, you folks are going to plain and simple, lose your fucking minds!
I hope and pray that each and every single one of you had your Christmas wish come true. Along those lines, may this upcoming new year bring you each nothing but health, happiness and prosperity. We've all been through far too much awful, ugly shit over these past few years and it is time to put it all behind us and push forward. Find something that you truly believe in and make a stand! Find something or someone you love and love it like never before! Do something that you have always dreamed of and do it well! Take chances, ride hard and ride fast, life is far too short to live it while riding in the slow lane! Never give up hope because anything worth having is worth fighting for. Nobody is just going to hand it over to you, nobody is going to wrap it up and leave it on your doorstep, you can't wait for the auction to end on Ebay to buy your dream, you have got to go out and CHASE THAT SHIT DOWN! I need to follow my own advice sometimes too. It's easy to put this shit out there and just as easy to not live it as well. The one thing I am sure of is that there are major changes that need to take place in my life and they need to take place quickly! I'm not one for making New Year's Resolutions because I never, ever had any intention of living up to them, so I won't call this a resolution but more of a mission statement! It is time for your ol' pal Jack Shit to get his life in order, get back into shape so that I can be around long enough to make our dreams come true and if I die trying or chasing them, then so be it, what a way to go! We must strive to thrive..... or is it the other way around?
Until we see each other on the road again, I'd like to wish you all the Hap, Hap, Happiest Christmas you've ever had!
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!