GTP LIGHTS OUR FIRE!

It's the very first time that we remember the most, isn't that what everyone always says?  You never forget your first?  Do you remember some of these milestones in your life?  The first time a chick fell for the "I'll just put the tip in" line or the first time you tried with all your heart and soul to walk in the house shit faced drunk and convince your parents that someone must have dosed you because you would never drink or the first time that your girl leaned over while you were driving and put her head in your lap or the first time you were out deep in the woods in the dead of winter at keg party and your girl and her best friend get in an argument over who gives the best head and decide that this debate must be settled right there and then?  The first time you were released from the back of a police car and the cop said, "now get the fuck out of here or next time I catch you, I'LL CALL YOUR FATHER", the first time you got the front wheel up on a motorcycle and you rode that shit out and didn't crash your buddies bike doing it or the first time you took a chance, went for it and didn't hear, WRONG HOLE, WRONG HOLE, WRONG HOLE!!!!  Ah yes, so now we are on the same page of those special times we all hold so dear in our hearts and in our memory!

Tonight was one of those special nights I won't soon forget!  It's Christmas time and I have to admit coming into the season, I was one miserable ass som bitch!  Somehow we managed to salvage the holiday and it actually turned out pretty decent.  On Christmas day, George the Painter jumped on his Leaky Latowski and rode down the mountain from Payson to come join us in our celebration of the birth of Baby Jesus.... or perhaps he took the ride because he was going bat shit crazy up there all by himself, we may never actually know the truth!  Since we were in the spirit of the day, we decided to make one of Diane's wishes come true.  We've lived in our house now for 3 years and one of the reasons we chose this house was the fact the home had two gorgeous fireplaces!  Oh the fantasies that those things inspired in us.... well 3 years have gone by and till this day, we've never lit the fireplace in our bed room or in our family room.  Well wish no more!  Today I sent GTP up on to the roof like god damned Spiderman to unblock the flue while all the neighbors wondered who that skinny prick was on my roof yelling down, it looks clear to me, but it has a bend in it!!!  Shine the flashlight up the hole!  Oh yeah, I don't think my heavily Mormon populated hood had any idea what hit them!  They must have thought the biker scum were filming another dirty movie at the house on the corner!  So we did it, we lit the fireplace for the first time ever and Diane has a big ass happy smile on her face!

If I would have had any idea that if you do what she wants and things that make her happy, she busts my balls a whole lot less and I GET REWARDED!!!  That video WILL NOT follow!

Until we see each other on the road again;

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit