It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Thought I'd shit myself!

I know that it's been a while since I posted up anything on the blog, but I've been experiencing a complete and total lack of anything good lately. I have a memory like an elephant when it doesn't matter and a memory like a crackhead when it does. I have come to the conclusion that I experience these lows and desperate lacks of creativity after Diane experiences really awful reactions to her shots. When things are good, it all seems to flow, when she gets a bad reaction, it is like someone or something builds a wall and blocks any happy thought. Oh well, what can you do... they say the universe never gives you more than you can handle. I would however like to meet the "they" who say it so that I can kick them in the teeth and choke them until they turn blue and repeat this mantra right back to them!

On a happier note, DAYTONA BIKE WEEK AT THE WORLD FAMOUS BROKEN SPOKE SALOON is only a few short weeks away and I damn well better see you there! I will be taking and recording attendance and if you don't show up, I will put this on your permanent record and you know how serious that is! It will follow you throughout your entire life! That being said, I've been instructed to find some art work and some good shots for promo use. One would think that after all of my years as an entertainer, I would have oh I don't know, perhaps at least ONE FUCKING HEAD SHOT, but I do not! The other problem with this is, although I quite literally have thousands of photos, I have very few photos of me! The whole reason that I have so many photos is because I take them with friends and people that I meet on the road or at rallies. The simple fact that people like to have their photo taken with me will forever both humble and dumbfound me! So about two months or so ago, I began dumping everything off the hard drive of my lap top and putting the pics on to a mobile storage device. Last night, before dinner, I began searching and searching for some decent photos of myself. I did not find any, but I did take a long walk down memory lane. I found pics from as far back as a few days after I was born right up to this past weekend. I also found a mislabeled folder in a wrongly named album entitled MY FAV VIDS. In that file, I found some great shit and I mean great shit. One of those great little videos that I found is the video I've put in this very post. If you have never happened upon one of these beasts you can't quite imagine the horror. If you have never near blindly stepped on the middle of one of these evil fuckers back, you can't quite imagine the horror. How about plainly, you just can't imagine the horror in realizing that you are easily 35 miles from the nearest hospital as you nearly did the things I just mentioned a moment ago, you guessed it, horrifying.

Allow me to set it up real quick for you so that you can feel the moment as I experienced it. Diane had sold our friends this incredible dream home. This home was in the Superstition Wilderness, only feet away from the National Forest Fence Line. When you looked up, a near 6000 foot high mountain was directly in front of you. I don't mean off in the distance, "hey look at the mountain over there", I mean you can't see anything, BUT the mountain. The Superstition Mountains are truly spectacular, if you ever have a chance to visit, trust me, go and visit. So they closed on the house and had yet to move in to it. We were there to celebrate the sale with them and we are walking around the property which has insane 360 degree views. These particular people would laugh at me each time I saw some wild animal because I got so excited. Now I don't mean OMG, LOOK AT THE SQUIRREL! I mean HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT THE BOB CAT or LOOK AT THOSE TWO EAGLES SITTING ON THE CACTUS! You hear what I'm saying? FUCKING EAGLES!!!! So as I'm marveling at these Eagles, three Mule Deer come walking right in to the back yard! These things are huge! That's it, I am so damn near giddy that I announce that I can't take it and I'm running to the driveway to get the camera out of the car. I ran through the house as fast as I could because I didn't want to miss the shot. I walked over to the car, opened the door, grabbed the camera, turned it to the right setting, slammed the door and was staring at the screen as I walked around the truck parked next to us. As I spun around to take a step, I heard THE UNMISTAKABLE SOUND! Watch the video below and you will see what caused that very sound.....

I believe that the narration and the description that I give while the camera was rolling is all that will be needed to truly capture the moment. I hope you enjoy this and if you only learn one thing from your pal Jack Shit, let it be this...... LOOK DOWN AT THE FUCKING GROUND WHEN WALKING IN THE DESERT!

I truly do hope to see as many of you as possible at this upcoming Daytona Bike Week and do not send me a message afterwards saying "oh yeah, I saw you at the Spoke but didn't want to bother you"! That pisses me off!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

No comments:

Post a Comment