It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!



Sunday, October 23, 2011

no good rat bastard steaming shit pile ass rape scumbags!

....... and the title of this shit doesn't even come close to how I'm feeling!

It's funny, I've had so much going on and I've been so busy that I have not really had a moment to sit down and just write.  Hell, I've yet to finish writing the story of Sturgis and that was back in August!  I just can't seem to catch a few free hours of JACK SHIT time!  I've been so exhausted since Daytona Biketoberfest that I just didn't have it in me to catch up. 

We need a new car.  We need something comfy enough to road trip in and curl up and go to sleep if need be with a few boxes of Jack Shit t'shirts in the back and we need something for Diane to take clients out in.  We've been hunting down the perfect vehicle at the right price for nearly a month now.  With all that is going on, there is nothing worse than stopping what you are doing and driving 30 miles to a dealer just to get dicked around.  You know the used car shit that goes on....  the bait and switch, the "wrong price" marked and all the other fucking games they play!  I've been face to face with murderers in my life and have had less nervousness and anxiety then when I pull up in front of a car dealership!  I would rather go to the dentist without Novocaine than go to a car dealer!  You catching my drift on how much I hate them yet?  Good! 

So yesterday, we stop what we are doing and drive 25 miles away only to find out that the price on the car is wrong, or we mixed up two cars and we wasted hours of our time.  Like I have so much to waste.  Not only have I not written anything for my blog, I've not written anything for Cycle Source blog either.  With all that is going on in my real life, I have not done anything but work and go to memorial services, I've not had much to say or write about.  I hate losing people, it really takes me to a dark place!  So to say that I've been nothing short of pissy would be an understatement.  Today, I had to go up to North Phoenix, about 45 miles away for a wedding rehearsal for a ceremony that I am performing tomorrow.  I write each and every ceremony totally different for each couple, so now add that to something else that I have yet to write!  Oh yeah, time is running out on me! 

Diane was supposed to attend the rehearsal with me today but we have friends who are away in St. Martin and their business needed some looking after.  Diane jumped up to help as she always does for a friend in need and she had to stay home to do some computer work.  She managed to get most of it done when she takes a break, hits the web and finds us the perfect car.  Now we have narrowed it down to two vehicles.  They are the furthest end of the spectrum from each other and we have found it quite difficult to choose.  Each serves a very distinct purpose for us and both are truly gorgeous inside and drive like a dream.  Okay you ready for this?  We have narrowed it down to a Ford Flex and a Cadillac CTS.  WOW, so far apart in every single aspect!  The Caddy is gorgeous and believe it or not, the Flex is equally appointed, they are really pretty plush!  The Caddy has sick power and the Flex has a ton of seating and some really cool shit too!  Yesterday, Diane finds this car and we drop everything and drive 30 miles to a dealer to find out that either we mixed up two cars or someone pulled some sneaky price shit on us....  Today, she finds the one.  The one that made the decision for us.  The car was right, the options were right, the color was right and the FUCKING PRICE was way right!  We had not seen one for this number that did not sell within hours of being on the lot. 

She stops what she is doing immediately.  She races 30 miles away, sees the car, drives the car, flips over the car and goes in to do the paperwork.  She is going to surprise me and drive this fucker home!  They run the numbers and everything is great, a deal is made.  We are just waiting to hear what the payment is going to be.  She runs in to a paperwork snag and calls me in a panic!  I leave the rehearsal that I am at and race home on the Road Glide, which for the record, FLIES!  But my friends, my first ride on the Glide is a story for another day!  We get back to the house within 10 minutes of each other.  Speak to the dealer and all is great.  They give us a list of two things they need, paperwork to show income!  Okay, got it!  Anything else?  Nope!  We are working with the bank to get you the best payment and we will call you back, awesome!  Now, I don't get emotional because shit always goes wrong, but this is a done deal! 

We have to run to Home Depot to pick up all kinds of lights and toilets for the flip house in North Phoenix.  Hell, we can run, do that, drop everything off and by the time we do that, we can use the truck one last time for that shit and then go turn it right in at the dealer for the trade!  Diane is not gone from the dealer for 2 hours at the most.  We unload the truck and as I'm walking to get back in it, I hear Diane on the phone and my little angel is using the F word more than I've ever used it while drunk on stage doing stand up and I assure you, this is a great many times!  She called to see if they were ready for us to pick it up and to see if they got the best payment yet!  WELL YOU SEE, WE SOLD IT TO SOMEONE ELSE!  Not three hours after you left the lot.  Well really, because we've only been gone a total of two hours right now?  What the fuck do you mean you sold it to someone else?  We had a deal, we were waiting on the payment!  I guess that maybe they used our purchase to get someone else to pay more, who knows, we will never know the truth!  I love to see her happy and for those two hours, she was floating on air.  She spent half of her day, while she could have been doing so much more up at that fucking dealer getting this all done and they pull this shit!  The look on her face was so sad that it made me nuts!  The old Jack Shit wanted to go down to that dealer and yank the guy out in the lot and beat his ass up and down the parking lot.  The new Jack realized that going to prison over a used car wasn't worth it!  The guy says to her " well maybe we can put you in something else"?  Oh yes, you are just the type of dealership we want to do business with!  With that, again, the scum bag salesman gets another barrage of Diane's magnificent use of the the F' Bomb!  I must say, it was well deserved!

I FUCKING HATE USED CAR DEALERS!!!  There are no lower form of shit on earth than these scum bag fucks!  In case you live in Arizona and I know a great many of my readers do, allow me to share this little tid bit with you;  The name of the dealer is Acura of North Scottsdale and if you can do anything, don't ever spend a penny of your hard earned money with these people!  I come from a time when a deal was a deal, a contract was a contract, shit man, a hand shake was a hand shake and you needed nothing more.  In this case, we had all three and none of that mattered to this company!  Lawyers, used car salesmen and pedophiles, the top three scum of the earth if you ask me and I'm not sure they go in that order either!

I am so tired of pieces of shit coming in to our lives one way or another.  Is there no honor amongst men any longer?  When did times change that everyone is out for themselves?  Pieces of shit at work, pieces of shit as friends, well, alleged friends, pieces of shit walking through the supermarket and on and on and on!  This breaks my heart!  I was raised that a man is only as good as his word and if you give that up, YOU HAVE NOTHING!  So now I sit here, typing away at this blog to try and vent some of this anger.   I have worked on and off on this wedding ceremony that speaks of L,L,H&R, LOVE, LOYALTY, HONOR AND RESPECT and doing the right thing by each other etc.,etc., etc., for nearly four hours and can't shake how disgusted I am by the way this company has done us dirty!  There is nothing on earth that tops my list higher than dishonesty, lack of integrity and fake fucks!  That and fools who use others to benefit themselves!  I believe that I have made this perfectly clear in my past posts, ONE THAT I CAN THINK OF in particular! 

So what can I say after all this?  Not a damn thing.  I have to now double check the ceremony that I wrote to make sure there are no FUCK ACURA OF NORTH SCOTTSDALE'S in the middle of it!  Sorry to vent on you fine folks, this is not really my style but if I can keep one of my friends from dropping one red cent of the hard earned money that they have earned at this place it will all be worth it!

There will be a great many of you that I see at what I hope to be one of the greatest weddings ever tomorrow and for those of you that I won't, until we see each other on the road;

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your angry, pissed off, miserable, writer blocked friend,
Jack Shit

2 comments:

  1. Dude, you need to check with a Lawyer. In Alabama a verbal deal is a binding contract and you could own their asses for pulling that. Good luck and I hope the right deal comes along.

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