It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Things are looking up

I know so many of us have had it so bad for so long now.  Jobs are leaving the country faster than illegals are coming in.  We seem to end each month about 200 bucks short of what we need to pay for all of the shit from last month when we were 200 bucks short then too.  People with master degrees in engineering are making coffee at Starbucks just to get out of the house where their angry ass wife lives and she hasn't been able to get her nails done by the lil asian illegal who was smuggled here in a cargo container.  She won't gain her freedom anytime soon because all the white women had to cut down on getting their nails done.  The days of the "early" bikini wax are over and for some the age of bikini wax just may be gone forever.  Which leaves the miserable coffee making engineer fighting his way through a late 60's hippie bush and choking on the loose pubes that find themselves wrapped around his tonsils deep in the back of his throat.  Let me tell you from experience, there is nothing that ruins a woman's mood more than when you slip down from her neck to her chest to her belly and beyond, start planting little kisses and suddenly you are hacking and gagging!  Obviously she thinks that you are offended and disgusted by what it is you found when in fact you are just choking on the base jumping pube who leaps into the back of your throat.  A sure fire way for the fight to start.  Why don't you trim this fucking thing?  Why don't you get a better job so that I can afford a razor that don't come from the dollar store in a pack of 90?  Why do you have to act just like your mother?  Why are you pointing that shotgun at me?  I am sure you have all been there right?

Well, it seems that we may be at the beginning of poking our heads out of this hole.  It seems that the real estate market is starting to flat line in it's values.  It seems that there are less Canadians buying homes here now and more Americans are holding onto their homes.  Maybe it's the holidays that bring out the hope that we shared as kids?  Maybe it's because the aforementioned engineer who is working at Starbucks also got a part time job at Wal-mart for Christmas, I don't know what is going on, but things seem to feel a little bit less like that "impending feeling of doom" and more like "we are going to make it".  I hope that it's the latter of the two and that it lasts for some time.

For myself and my family, things are picking up for sure.  There seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.  Well at least it appears to be a light, perhaps it is just an illusion from lack of quality food over the last two years.  The lil woman is selling houses and properties like crazy again and although the commissions are one 5th what they use to be, money is flowing into our home again like it use to.  For me, I have concentrated less on stand up comedy although I absolutely love it and I am writing like mad again.  I surely have missed it and I think it is all based on mood.  When I feel like shit, the writing is dark and miserable and nobody wants to read that, but with the noose around my neck having loosened a bit, the creativity is flowing like mad.  I am currently in negotiations along with a great friend to co host what looks like it could be an amazing television series.  I would share more but don't want to poison the pond by giving the details.  Although things are looking up, I am still superstitious and don't want to jinx it.  I am still going to host bike events because there is nothing that compares to them, nothing!  So if you or someone you know is looking for the host with the most, don't hesitate to have them reach out to me.  I wasn't sure what the year ahead had in store for me so I held off on booking events.

I hope that you guys, my friends are seeing the same light and that your future is looking brighter.  I have learned that through these past few "lean" years, that we need far less than we had.  I have learned that love, loyalty, honor and respect go much further and last longer than the limit you had on that credit card that you can't afford to pay anyway.  I have learned that through tough times "the cream truly does rise to the top" and the scumbags in your life fall away, usually after stealing from you, but fall away none the less.  That the people who will be in your life have stuck around and proven their worth by holding the same core values of L,L,H & R and have all ridden out the same storm with some semblance of dignity no matter how hard they themselves have had it.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG, LONG TIME, IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE ALL GOING TO MAKE IT!  I hope that this is true for all of us and I am not just feeling this good because I awoke to a blow job this morning.  If in- fact this is the reason I feel this way and in-fact the world is still racing down hill at break neck speed and we have no brakes, please don't tell me until tomorrow and let me have this one day.


  1. Well I work in the auto parts world & we've seen a huge drop! No one is fixing they're rig unless its dead, or worse people are buying what i call throw away cars;Kia, Diwoo, Hyandi! And because of this drop in buisness my company is sending us crap for people to buy while instore which I hate I sell parts not fucking keychains & stick on Buick portholes! But favorite thing to see it the yuppie fuckers come in & bitch about buying a airfilter for they're Mercedes or BMW cheep fuckers!

  2. Tell your wife to find a local beauty school that provides services to the public. Prices are excellent, the service is good, and you're supporting local folks trying to learn a trade.

    My opinion - as long as I can ride, life is good. No, awesome! Things aren't going to be the same. People need to stop thinking that they're going to have job security and any kind of benefits and they'll be ok.

  3. I didn't say that this was about me or my wife, her nails are done and the bush is trimmed! That is funny, nor am I an engineer working at starbucks.... too funny, guess I should have pointed that out.... my bad

  4. Great post Jack!!! I've got my fingers crossed for you on the series..if you need a foulmouthed guest from time to time I think I might know someone!!!

  5. This is my hope too! I just keep on keepin' on you know!!! Market is slow in my line of business, keep getting under cut by the illegals and the unlicensed, but what can anyone do about that really? House is going up for auction in a few months (landlord pocketed money instead of paying mortgage), but hey such is life, yeah? I just do what I can to make mine feel safe and as secure as possible! We are fighters and that's what we do best!!!

  6. "I have learned that love, loyalty, honor and respect go much further and last longer than the limit you had on that credit card...."

    Yep! That is what it is all about.