It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


The year in photos of my life that is, at least the ones that I can find!  There are so many shots that I wanted to add to this that I know I have somewhere in my lap top's memory, but for the life of me can't find them.  I can never find shit when I need to and then it pops up in random folders that have nothing to do with what I am searching for!  I'm the guy who just clicks "save" and never look at the location it is saving too.

After sitting down and writing that piece last night about this past year, I got to thinking.  Yeah I know, what a rare and strange phenomenon that must be for me?  It doesn't happen all that often, so when it does, I try to roll with it.  I re read last night's blog post and realized that although I included some excellent photos, I really didn't include my favorites.  What makes a photo qualify as "a favorite shot" is not an easy question to answer.  Some photos it is for the obvious reasons.  Perfect light, perfect subject, perfect moment or perfect mayhem, if that is possible all make up that shot.  For me though, a great photo doesn't have to even be in focus or be lit right or any of the other "photo rules" that photos are judged by.  If I look at a photo and it evokes a memory, a thought, a smile or a tear, that qualifies as "a favorite shot" in my book.  The photos that follow are some of my most favorite shots of the year and if they don't seem obvious, I'll explain why.  I hope you enjoy.

The above photo is a favorite shot of mine because it was sent to me after my blog, THIS VERY BLOG had been banned by court order all across the middle east.  I received this in an email or face book message.  I still laugh out loud sometimes when I see it.

 Well this one is self explanatory, Brother Teach in a hot rod, in a garage, talking bikes, working on bikes and drinking a beer.  Any time spent with Teach is inevitably a great time!  Keith Cole's Garage.
I rode my Knucklehead along with F Bomb up to Flagstaff to meet up with the racers of the Cannonball.  When we left, it was 109 degrees.  When we arrived in Flagstaff it was 29 magical degrees!  It was amazing to see not only these machines that have defied dying or being abandoned somewhere for nearly a hundred years but the men and women who rode them.  We rode from Flagstaff to Laughlin, Nevada as the racers arrived.  It was a sight like I had never before seen.  F.T.W., FOREVER TWO WHEELS!
 I love this shot of George the Painter.  He is up in the Legends Gallery at the County Line Broken Spoke Saloon.  He had the biggest show of his life and I have never seen him more relaxed!  The pressure was off both of us.  We had both performed above and beyond what any one ever expected or imagined that we could.  Look at the amount of people in the Spoke, it was a zoo!  If you know GTP at all, then you know this level of "chill" is rarely if ever achieved!  It was his moment of ZEN.....
It's not the fact that Diane is not in pain or feeling shitty!  It's not that Jill looks like a blow fish on Angel Dust, it's not that Jill has a big fist full of Diane's tit, what makes this shot amazing is the Brother Adam behind them.  Just look at that poor bastard!  Right now I can guarantee that he was thinking maybe Jack was right and I shouldn't have bought all those drinks when he warned me not to!  The pics got even stranger as the night went on!  What a great night this was and it led to an unbelievable story of being stopped by multiple cops, if you can imagine that!
 A shot that I actually grabbed with my cell phone believe it or not.  I had just finished doing a bit of wrenching on it in a buddies garage.  I was taking it on her maiden voyage to California and wanted to make sure she was ready for the journey.  It was one of those shots you just looked up and said, oh yeah!
 As I said above, sometimes a shot just happens, other times you see the shot in your mind and you have to set it up!  People always say that guns are phallic symbols so I put that theory to the test, you decide.
Where the fuck else but Tombstone, Arizona will you walk in to a 100+ year old bar to find a Nun bent over the pool table lining up the eight ball?  I yelled at her "PLEASE WAIT" and she kindly obliged!
 2011 will forever be the year that Brother Adam got THE GREATEST TATTOO EVER!  Pinky rocks!
Like I said, sometimes the shot is just there, you just have to open your eyes to see it.  To think that picking up a paper that blew on the rocks would lead to this shot?  The first time I cleaned the Pickle.
Like I said, great memories, great shots and great shit happens.  Sometimes it rides up to you in the middle of the woods in Tennessee in the middle of the night wearing a rebel flag bikini and smoking a cigarette.
 So picture this.  I'm laying in the grass.  It's like 125% humidity and I'm hot and tired.  I have a nice cool, refreshing bottle of water to sip on.  I put it down and wait for the first contestants of the Tramp's Triathlon to come screaming by.  I reach to my left for my water and it is not there.  I don't look back, I just blindly feel around, IT'S NOT THERE!  I turn to see this lil gangster staring at me with the "yeah!" "I took your water bitch, whatcha gonna do about it" look on his face!  One of absolute favorite shots of the entire year.  What a little bad ass!
Maybe the Bible is right?  Seek and ye shall find!  I have to say, had Bart not been seeking, he may have never found the answer.  In this case, well, the answer was written on her panties!  Guess she is not all that much in to pillow talk!  She is probably the kind of girl who wants to talk after!
 The label on the condom machine at the one and only TT's Roadhouse in Scottsdale.  It is after all, a douche bag free establishment.  On a side note, if you ever stop in, grab a stool by the cash register and take a look at all the "people banned" notes.  The descriptions are priceless! 
Apparently these days, the term, phrase and title, "LIVING LEGEND" gets tossed around pretty loosely.  If you want to know what a living legend is, then spend a few moments in this great man's presence!  This is the one and only Brother Speed!  This mother fucker has lived it all, he has seen it all, he has been part of it all and he has survived it all!  The best part is that he has ridden to it all too!  You want to know about our history, this guy knows it!  I am honored to call this man, this LIVING LEGEND my friend!  Long may you run Brother Speed, see ya at the Broken Spoke!
So now, picture this.  I go all day without eating.  We wrench on bikes all day to be up and ready for the ride to Foundry Moto in Glendale for their first party in what feels like years.  This was a pretty special occasion because the parties at Foundry are legendary and not to be missed.  We ride out in a pretty good sized pack and have a great time until the police helicopter arrives along with the SWAT team and shuts down the party.  Charlie the Nomad, Worm and I make a mad dash for home.  As we are rolling up to a light, Nomad says "hey, ya hungry"?  Fuck yeah I am!  Taco Bell, I'm buying?  Fuck yeah, I'm in!  It's late, the only thing open is the drive thru.  We walk up to the order board and they will not help us because we are not in vehicles.  We tell them the bikes are too loud and thought it would be easier.  They make us go get our bikes and then leave us at the sign and will not speak to us again.  I roll away, park the bike and say fuck it, The Nomad however WILL NOT LEAVE without his taco supreme!  He sat and sat patiently, asking in to the box, "help me, hello, I'm hungry" but still no answer.  Finally, we have 5 cars lined up behind him and he will not move!  All of a sudden, "welcome to Taco Bell, can I take our order"?  I had given up by now and was half asleep on the side walk on my back.  I never hear the bike fire up, so I gave up.  Then I hear the tell tale sound of a chain rolling over a sprocket and coming around the corner, rolling the bike with his feet, holding the bag in his teeth is Charlie the Nomad and he has the GOODS!  It was a proud moment!  Stand up for your right to be a biker and eat a taco!
 I captured this shot on top of a mountain in what I believe was Tennessee.  I have no idea because not only was the mist and the fog so thick that you could not see the tail light in front of or next to you but we had stopped, I believe 438 times to change jets in this old shovel's carb!  This is the mountain that I pissed off of on to the valley below and those fools thought it was raining!

There are several reasons this photo made my favorite list.  First off, Robert "Pinner" Hernandez was the first person I ever met on a bike in Arizona!  Second, in the 9 years since I met him, no matter how God awful cold it is out, I've never seen him with a jacket on, NEVER!  Thirdly, how can you not cherish a photo of a guy who just crawled out of a tent after a weekend of hard riding, hard partying and freezing temps, who wakes up, smells his own hand and gets that expression on his face?  You can't!
Putting a few bikes in one spot, not hard.  Putting a shit ton of bikes in to one half of one parking spot a bit more difficult.  Putting all of these bikes in half a spot on a 30 degree angle hill, getting tougher, jamming a 12 foot long chopper in the middle of it really getting difficult.  Not having the Chinese taxi drivers ride over the bikes sticking out, nearly impossible!  Post Born Free 3 on our way to Chicago Will's after party!  In this group, a knuck, a pan, a shovel, an evo two twin cams and one Pickle Sickle!

 There are very few things that bring me as much pure joy as doing the right thing, giving and seeing people smile!  While hosting the Broken Spoke in Sturgis, I met this amazing couple.  He was a recently returned vet and they just kept telling me how much they loved the Spoke.  They rode all the way there on their bike and were camping.  I asked will you be back here again next year?  They answered of course we will, we will never go any other place!  I said that is a good answer because your camping here at the Broken Spoke Saloon for the 2012 Rally is on me!  I was all smiles, they were more in shock!  I did this to several soldiers and their families and you know what?  IT FELT AMAZING!
Our two blue boys on the extremely rare occasion that they actually lay still.  It is so rare that I actually had to take a picture of it just to prove that it is at all possible! 
As it turns out, this was just another day at the office in 2011.  I was considering filing sexual harassment charges but decided that I did not want to get anyone in trouble or have to experience a hostile work environment afterwards!  Believe me, these ladies can get pretty rough!  Dirty Dogg Saloon
This was a great day of working on old iron up in Glendale with Pinner and Jay.  I learned a hell of a lot that day.  We just happened to have the bikes rolled out of the garage when I realized, wow, 46', 47', 48'!  It really don't get much better than this!  Pinner's Knuck was bad ass but that Pan was TITS!
So we are laying in the grass in Orange County, California waiting on others to arrive to take the ride with us up the Pacific Coast Hwy.  While laying there we started laughing about online dating sites and came up with the idea of doing G Harmony, a sight for gay bikers.  Although we were not gay, we figured it would be a way to cash in and have some extra money for the summer.  This was to be Skoog and my profile photo!  Needless to say, the idea NEVER GOT OFF THE GROUND!  Thank God!
I promised Diane that upon my return from Sturgis, we would take a much needed bike trip together.  We decided southern California would be the place.  While there, I tried to sneak in a bit of work and headed over to Long Beach for the movie premier of I RIDE, a film about the band The Fryed Brothers. 
I'm pretty sure that I have yet to see a photo of Qian that she is not giving the finger in!  These lovely ladies came up during AZ bike week to visit me while I was hosting the Dirty Dogg Saloon, thanks.
The day I brought home Diane's new 1200 Sporty!  I would give anything to see her that happy all the time.  I do mean anything.  It needs a bit of tweaking but it is just plain sick to ride! 
This was  a photo sent to me from a bike shoot in Australia.  I have shipped shirts to 17 different countries now and I love it when people send me shots of themselves wearing them while they travel.
These were my t shirt team up at the Dogg!  Holy shit did we move a hell of a lot of shirts this day!
Riding that bad ass shovel that was loaned to me for BMR by Mailman through the twisties in Georgia.
The very last photo that I took from the front porch of my cabin at the Broken Spoke Saloon in Sturgis.  I was riding off directly in the direction of that storm.  I made it to the end of the driveway of the Spoke, turned left on to 79 and within 100 feet it began to pour!  It dumped on me all the way to Deadwood and from that moment on, I never saw another drop of rain.  I raced to get ahead of the storms and it worked.
The night Diane broke her ankle.  It's funny how dogs know when you are hurt.  Normally, he would have been running around, barking, fighting with the other dog and busting your chops to play with his toy.  This night, Diane hobbled in on crutches, laid on the couch and he never made a sound, he just climbed up next to her and they both went right to sleep.  I had to wake them both up to go to bed!
The one and only Big Ben.  This guy is a beast, a monster, a vicious stone killer!  Who just happens to look right at home with a toy dog on his lap!  If you look close at that old dog, it's teeth are missing and its tongue just flops right out the side of its mouth!  I'm pretty sure this is Lola of Lolasboutiquetoyou.
How many times has a woman given you the ultimatum, it's me or the car or it's me or the bike?  Well as you can see here, the car has outlasted the ladies!  The driver's door has one name painted on it and it simply reads, ASSHOLE!  Great shop I was invited to see in Atlanta Ga, Simms I believe.
NO, YOU CAN'T SWIM IN THE LAKE!  We left at 4:44am to cross the desert and beat the blistering AZ heat.  We arrived after only brief sleep to crazy hot temps.  Set up camp and were about to dive in the lake when we were told that we couldn't!  Yet you can boat on it?  What if we rent a boat and fall in?
This shot was taken around 5:30 in the afternoon.  Only 20 minutes earlier, it was a bright, beautiful sunny day.  This was the day that Haboob 2011 blanketed all of AZ in a cover of dust and dirt!  Wild!  Only a few hours before, I washed the truck, the GTI, the FXR and washed and waxed the bagger that I had borrowed from my buddy Daryl! 

I just happened to have my camera in hand at the Spoke when I turned around to see this!  How could I not take the shot?  He was about to beat her with a Pizza paddle!  I laughed for 20 minutes after this!
I rode to California to meet up with Million Miles Squire at the BAD Ride.  He didn't show up because he was in bad shape at the hospital.  Afterwards, I took a ride for the first time ever to Cooks Corner bar.  The place was packed, bikes were parked everywhere up and down the road.  While shooting some video, this guy comes up to me and says "sorry it's a slow day for the crowds".  Really?  Holy shit
Matt from Wheels through Time museum on a very rare day off at the BMR.  Nothing brings a smile to ones face like shooting shit.  This double barrel potato cannon on a spinning mount was Chris Callen from Cycle Source's offering.  It was bad ass and then we couldn't get it to work anymore!
What?  You never seen a 5 passenger Shovelhead before?  I think at one point they came around and actually had six people on it!  Leave it to Teach! Boys will be boys given the chance!
The two guys on the right brought photos with them to California just in case they ran in to Teach from Minnesota, to show them the old man's knuckle from way back.  I love this shot because of how very genuine Teach is with everyone and his passion for knuckles is second to none!  These guys were so happy and honored to meet Teach they took a whole bunch of pics and brought him over the their bikes.
Diane and Chopper Doll.  I get chills thinking about the damage these two could do if left to their own devices.  I have to say we are honored to call her our dear friend.  She truly is the real deal!
Yeah sure it's a bad ass knuck but what really caught my eye was the sticker on the oil bag!  Ha!
We stop for gas in the middle of fucking nowhere in California and there are all these old trucks and tractors lined up at an abandoned gas station.  Old gas pumps and all kinds of cool shit.  I'd never ever before even noticed the exit!  This is where the boys ate the transmission chicken, I did not!
Riding around the campground the day after I arrived at the Broken Spoke Campground and I looked in the mirror and saw Bear Butte there.  The shot was just lined up perfectly, I had to take it.  In the end, it became one of my most favorite shots of not only the rally, but the entire year!
 Very few things that Diane hates more than when I take pics from weird angles!  This was on her birthday and she is rocking her bracelet that Chopper Doll made!
 My t shirt made it on the number one rock tour of the year, Five Finger Death Punch!  Guitar player from the band Rains wearing his shit shirt proudly!  Thank you man, I'm humbled!  Rock on!
Finally, our friends Pat and Mario!  I captured this shot two days before Christmas while we were out house shopping.  I was screwing with them and snapped this shot from about 75 feet away.  I forgot all about it and was going through some uploads when I found it.  She looks so happy and he just looks GANGSTA!  These are two of the finest people we know!

So now the year is quickly coming to a close.  We will continue the good fight and try to push forward and make even more memories and great shots for next year to share with you all.  I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and sharing the blog.  It really has turned in to something that I never expected it would be.  Hell, part of me hoped it would fail and then I wouldn't have to worry about it!  If we were together at some rally or met up somewhere on the road this year and you captured a few shots of us, feel free to email them to me, I'd love to see them.  May this upcoming New Year, bring us each and all, nothing but health, joy, love, loyalty and friendships that will stand the test of time.

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit


  1. Love the read + the PIX! Great shots! Great Stories...Keep 'em comin'!

  2. A great sum up of the year. Here`s to a better year for 2012!

  3. This was fun to see and read with all the comments. Wishing you Health, Happiness and Joy for the New Year to you and Diane ♥

  4. Thanks for sharing your year with us Jack! looking forward to seeing what 2012 has to offer...hope to see you at the Spoke in Sturgis this summer!!!

  5. great pics man hope 2012 brings you and your gal happiness and good health you both earned it eh