It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Check out this little Gem!

Back in the old days, in what now seems like a former life, my beautiful angel of a wife left the restaurant business and became a full time realtor.  We've always loved homes!  Different styles, designs and especially the radical ones!  Once we shut down the restaurant and she no longer worked 25 hours per day, 8 days per week, she had time to invest in something she loved.  She loved real estate and as it is today, she loves helping people.  Most people purchase a home, raise a family in it and then when the kids are gone, all grown up, married with their own children, they sell it and move on.  Memories are made, tragedies occur and things we wish to never forget or wish we could happen in those properties and it was Diane's mission to fight like a tiger to get her clients dreams fulfilled!  It just so happened that all of those years that I was in sales and a sales trainer and I made her "role play" with me..... and NO, not that kind of role playing you sick bastards, she actually took in all of that sales training.  She was like a beautiful Italian Sponge!  Normally, when you sell someone something, a used car for example, the buyer ends up with pure hatred towards the seller.  In Diane's first year as a realtor back in Jersey she sold 13 homes.  This was not bad since she had only began in July and the market was not insane like it had been a few years ago.  It was actually quite the feat to have done this.  She was awarded Rookie of the Year honors by her company and that company was huge.  That year I saw something happen that I had never witnessed as a person in sales.  When the holidays came, 11 of those people for whom she found their homes, each GAVE HER a gift!  Some of those gifts were pretty awesome!  Moving forward, Diane became a STONE KILLER in her field.  Month after month, year after year for a decade, Diane was awarded Top Listing Agent, Top Marketing Agent, Top Sales Agent and each year, Agent of the Year. To say that I was proud was an understatement.  The greatest respect, yes, there is that word again, was paid to her by each of her past clients referring her to their friends, to their family, to the people they loved.  A funny thing happened along the way.  We turned poor people in to rich people.  Through our network of professionals and hard money lenders, we were able to get people in to homes that could not even get rentals and within a year or so, they held multiple properties, they became empowered!  We were making people wealthy.  I can't believe how long it took before we realized the opportunities that we had missed by giving these homes to strangers.  We began to buy them and before it was in fashion, we flipped them.  Back then, most only needed carpet and paint, not like today!  Holy Shit did we make money!  Life was great for a good while and we wanted for nothing but for Diane's health to come back!  Move forward, everyone is now flipping homes and buying them up regardless of price, fixing and flipping and holding multiple properties that were mortgaged to the hilt!  We sold off all but one investment and that one we only purchased to save someone from losing it!  That is the one that bit us on the ass and screwed us all up, but no matter what, looking back, we saved someone we loved and you can't put a price on that.  Now we find ourselves in current times!  We are in the worst real estate market since the great depression.  Now here is the kicker, we are at it again.  We are helping people get their lives back in order and build back up.  We find homes, get them fixed up and sell them off.  We do this for a great many people again and hopefully one day soon, we will be flush with cash again and we can once again, do it for ourselves. 

I wanted you guys to see this house as we took the keys to it.  Yes my friends, it is fucked!  Check this beast out!

Pretty much deep shit right?  Well in one month from now, I am going to post up new pictures and show you what the phrase "seeing the forest through the trees" means!  Watch what we do to this house.  Sure the days of making stupid money on each and every house are surely over but if you are not a pig and don't get greedy and are willing to make 10, 20 or 30 grand on a house, you can start raking it in!  The one thing that I can guarantee is that this little wreck of a home will be beautiful and a family will come in and they will make memories that they wish they would never forget or ones that they wish they could!  Life happens and we get people the homes where they can sit in the front row and watch it unfold!  Life is too short, times are too uncertain and people are afraid.  You can't achieve greatness by sitting on the side lines.  You will never be a hero unless you get in to the battle.  You can't help people by wishing that the world was a better place, you have to go out and make it a better place!  The crazy part is that it is contagious.  Doing right, doing good catches on like a brush fire and soon it becomes a forest fire and then it is very hard to stop.  We don't look at this like, well right now we don't have the cash to make this happen for us, so screw everyone else!  We say, let's fire up the old Karma Train and help some people make their lives better and put some cash in their pockets!  Hopefully, it will come back to us!  HOPEFULLY! 

I'm going to make sure that the property looks the way it deserves to look as well.  The potential of this back yard is endless!

..... and oh yeah, Diane sells spectacular homes that you can come down with your bike and park it in the garage, your flippers and snorkel and hop right in the pool or your sex toys and move right on in to the bedroom of your dreams as well.  After all, it is not like we only involve ourselves in crack houses!  What a great name for a company though, "GOOD AFTERNOON, THANK YOU FOR CALLING CRACK HOUSE REALTY, how may I direct your call"? 

So you keep on watching and I'll remind you when this Sweet Little Gem is about to have her "rebirth" and I will share it with you all.  If you are interested in buying a home in Az., don't hesitate to reach out to my girl, it will be the best and smartest decision you've made in a long time!  People always laughed and said that for her clients, Diane would take the pennies off of a dead man's eyes!  She is a tiger and fights just like one protecting her young for her clients, it is amazing to watch! 

Yeah I know this is not comedy and this is not bike related and this is far from my typical writing but i like to let you guys in on each and every, well, nearly every aspect of our lives.  Total, brutal honesty, always, that is the plan and we are sticking with it!  You tell me, what other realtor is going to take you home shopping on Harleys?

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back,
The Man off your Ass
and hopefully a little cash in all of our pockets!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

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