It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Another Pony Added to the Shit Family Stable

It's a happy day here at the Shit Ranch today!  For the first time in roughly 7 years, Mrs. Shit will be back in the wind on her own!  The chopper project doesn't seem to be moving at quite the pace it should be.  My friend who was hand building the frame for the XS chop has literally dropped off the face of the earth!  I have no idea if something happened to him, it's like he just doesn't exist anymore.  I had to make a move and make one quick!  If you guys remember, last month I took Diane out on the FXRS and pulled over and said more or less, "let's go, your riding, I'm riding bitch"!  She was so happy about riding again that it was killing me to not see her in the wind, back on her own scooter!  I put the word out that the chopper project was going bust for now and to keep an eye out for a great Sporty at an even better price!  Every few days friends would send me links to bikes for sale.  Of course, the best ones were always gone and the shitty ones you see on there for months on end are still available!

While we were in California a bike came up and Brother Adam sent me the link to it.  Of course I could not get it as I was on the road.  When I came back and saw the bike, the year, the mileage, the extra shit that came with it and more importantly the price, I knew it was the bike for Diane!  I called the guy and of course, it was gone!  He had taken a deposit on it and the guy would not have the money till Thursday.  He was leaving early on Friday morning to go to the lake and said to give him a shout on Tuesday after the holiday.  TUESDAY?  How the hell am I supposed to wait until Tuesday?  Diane had seen the link over my shoulder and flipped out over the bike.  I told her the story and she was really bummed out.  "I REALLY LOVE THAT BIKE BABY" she said with a sad tone!  Well I am not going to allow her to be sad if there is anything on earth that can be done to change it! 

So this morning I woke up, called the guy back and told him that we are together 25 years and I love my girl.  I told him that it was our anniversary and that in the past each time that I got jammed up for money that I sold her bike out from under her.  Always with the promise to get her another one!  I told him that rather than wait till Thursday for the guy to call and ask for more time, I would be there the moment he got back from work, cash in hand and I would give him 200 bucks more than the other guy offered!  Well, I guess he is a romantic because he was blown away at what I was trying to do for my girl.  "I'll see you at 6pm" he said!  Really?  "Yes sir" he said.  So I asked about the guy with the deposit and he told me not to worry about it, that he would deal with the heat that came from it!  What a nice guy he turned out to be.  He was so happy to see Diane with that bike and told me that he was really glad that he had done what he did!  He thought the other guy was going to buy it and flip it anyway.  The look on Diane's face when I told her that the bike was hers is something that I won't forget, she was so genuinely happy!

When Diane is happy, I am happy and her happiness is all that matters to me.  Everyone always asks me why we don't save our money.  Well quite simply, Diane has Multiple Sclerosis and we go to sleep each night and never know what tomorrow will bring.  She could wake up one day and not be able to walk or wake up and be blind again like when she had her first attack and who knows, maybe this time she won't get her sight back.  We live each and every single day like there won't be a tomorrow!  It may not be for everyone but it damn sure works for us!  Why wait and then have to look back and ask what if we had done this, or what if we had gone there?  We will no longer do that, we live each and every single day to the fullest!  WE LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!  One day there will not be and I don't want to look back and have regrets. 

I rode the bike home from the guy's house and I was stunned at the power that this little Sporty had!  It is a 1993, 1200 Sportster with 6388 original miles on it!  He through in all kinds of extra parts, a brand new battery, changed the oil and even filled the tank with gas.  Like I said, what a truly nice guy!  I jammed through the gears and when Diane caught up to me at a traffic light, I was smiles from ear to ear, there was no way to even wipe it off of my face!  On the way there I said "oh shit, I forgot my helmet"!  Diane said "but you never wear a helmet around town"!  "I need it so nobody sees me riding this damn thing" I said!  By the time I was halfway home, I was smiling at people and proud like a peacock!  I could care less that the bike was Wineberry Sunglo!  After feeling that lil rocket ship take off, I could not care if it said "COCKMASTER" on the side of the tank, I was having a blast!  We got back to the house and all Diane wanted to do was ride.  It has been so long since she has ridden and riding in Phoenix is so hard core and so fucking dangerous that I suggested that she take the rider safety course and shockingly she agreed!  I told her that I had total faith in her ability but would feel so much better if she just freshened up on her skills.  Again, she thought this was a great idea!  I was stunned!

So we get the bike home and I grab the camera and take a few pics of my baby, with her new baby!  She goes inside the house, a few minutes pass and Diane comes out with a helmet and boots on!  "What are you doing" I asked?  "I'm going for a ride" she said!  ????????  What happened to taking the course?  "Oh I'm still going to take it, but first, I'm going for a ride" was her answer!  With that, she fired up the bike, pulled in the clutch and kicked it down in to first gear.  Well, okay I guess but first, I want you to remember .......... and then I saw the back of her head and her pony tail blowing in the wind!  She took off and was out of sight in 15 seconds.  I now know how the dad feels as he watches his child ride off for the first time on the bicycle.  I was worried to death to say the least.  After what seemed to be an eternity, she came rolling back up with the brightest smile that I have seen on her face and she was all glowing!  You would think that she came back pregnant by how radiant she looked!  All night tonight she just walks by me smiling!  I love that she is so happy!

So if you can, do something nice for someone.  No matter how big or how small it is, because it will make you feel as good as it makes them feel!  If I died tomorrow, I would go a happy man!  The funniest thing she said upon her return was, "it's like I never stopped riding, like I've never been off a motorcycle".  I said where do you think the phrase "it's like riding a bike came from"?  It looks like our stable of murder sickles is growing again.  Now all I have to do is keep her from getting a cooler knuckle then me and we'll be okay!

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back (or in this case in the wind)
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

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