It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Friday, July 15, 2011

The Circumcission of the Pickle Sickle!

As so many of you fine folks who actually ride those bad Murder Sickles you own know all well and good, sometimes you have to really get a good look at your machine before a big trip.  As you guys also know, that up until this FXRS came in to my life, my newest bike I owned was a 47' Knuck!  So you can imagine my surprise when I found all this new fangled shit on this "new" bike.  Well, this 19 year new bike!  When I came across this bike, the deal that I got on it was far too good to even consider letting it go to some one else, it just WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!  Unfortunately, the bike had sat outside for a year and who ever took this bike from stock, back in the day and "whored it up" cut a great many corners!  Some of those cuts could have been really dangerous.  In my experience and in my current physical condition, about 500 miles is the magic number for me to ride on that nearly 70 year old Rigid Bike!  This one however was made to just eat asphalt and shit it right back out!  So being in the business that I am in, you need to get around and to go on the road you need to be able to pack accordingly and when all you have is one tall sissy bar to tie shit to and handlebars to roll up a jacket, that just don't cut it.  So you have to have a bagger.  This Green Pickle Sickle is in the process of becoming just that.  But how do you turn an FXRS low rider convertible in to one?

With lots of tools!  Patience from your knowledgeable friends and a stack of parts!  It was on Bitch!  It was time to Circumcise the Pickle Sickle!

First and foremost you hook up with the most knowledgeable FXR guy I've ever known.  Mr. Keith Cole is that guy!  Then you call in some favors from friends and ask for help and then finally, "how the hell do I do this"....  Then you determine what is right and good and what is bad and must go.  That is what we began to do!  Start the chopping!  We were fully ready to torch, cut and weld to make this girl sexy and functional.  Here is how we got started!
As you guys know, one of the things you think about most with a new girl is "what's she hiding under that skirt?  Well I had to get a look and believe me, it was a big, long and thick skirt!  Because the bike began its life as an FXRS convertible, there are only one set of saddle bags on earth that fit the bike because of the angle of the rear shocks.  We had to remove the shocks, the fender, the struts, the rear pegs, the mid pegs and the forward controls the controls, the bars, front and rear pipes, tranny cover, cables and a shit ton of wiring  we found that we could not figure out for the life of us what it was and what it did, so we cut it all out?
The rear wheel is out of alignment, we snapped the plastic elbow off of the CV Carb and believe me that was a motherfucker to fix while the carb was still on the bike!  While riding in California near Palm springs I thought that the front end was just going to snap off or that I had two flats.  As it turns out, it was just horrible California Deathways, uhm, freeways!  So today I also drained and replaced the fork oil.  My God was that shit horrid looking.  I swear had I put it in two different containers to collect it, you would think it came from two different bikes, it was SO FUCKING BAD!  No matter what we did with changing the bars and risers, the clutch cable barely reached, 4 sets of bars and 4 sets of risers just to get it right!  That was about where we got to last night, here are a few pics from the tear down.

 We were afraid that we were going to have to cut, but upon removing the existing struts, we found all the holes that we needed were already in the frame.  What a time and work saver that turned out to be!  We had to remove the belt guard (permanently) because we relocated the rear shocks! 
 Brother Roadside, or Roadside Marty from Flat Broke Customs down in Florida was kind enough to donate these mother of all floorboards, the holy grail of fxr parts, mid control boards to my project.  I'll forever be grateful, thank you my friend.  You guys should check out Flat Broke too, Roadside puts out some sick scoots!
 In order to fit the Floor Boards to the bike and make them work, we had to first make the front exhaust pipe fit again.  So we heated that fucker up to glowing and took 3 whacks at it with the hammer.  We figured that would give us a good idea of what we needed to do.  Boy was I wrong about that!  3 whacks and it was the perfect fit!  So we cooled it down Arizona style by putting it in front of a portable swamp cooler and then test fit it.  IT FIT PERFECT!
 On the trip to Cali, the maiden voyage for the fxrs and I, I noticed a serious lack of power at the top end.  As you can see, the pipes were no where near being close to the same length.  I think that may have had something to do with the performance.  Like so many things from the 90's, they looked cool, it was form over function.  So Mr. Cole cut down an 11" piece of steel,
 We eyed it up, it looked right and he took it down to AZ True Wheel this morning and welded that bad boy up for me.  Now the pipes are nearly the same length and you can see all of the discoloring in the pipes and I love that shit!  We got a bunch of shit done today but we were at a dead stand still.  When you are making your own bagger, there are two things you need that you can't have missing.  Do you know what they are?  You guessed it, THE DAMN BAGS!  My buddy Milwaukee Mike was decent enough to pick up a bunch of fxrP parts for us a few months ago and he shipped some of it to me now to make this happen.  The box was delivered while we weren't there so we had to go and stalk the mail men down at the post office until they finally took it off the mail man's truck at 10 minutes to 5, as they were closing!  SCORE!  Now we were ready to get going.
 We had to get rid of the lovely Pickle's rear fender to mount the new shocks and re install the tail light and plate bracket.  Keith was kind enough to donate this fender to the project so Whiskey John spent the afternoon priming and painting it.  I'll always have a little of him in this bike to remember him by.  2 of his beard hairs fell off in to the wet paint and will be there for eternity!
 We got the frame rails for the cop bags all mocked up and began installing them.  This took some doing and another trip to the lowes for some more nuts and bolts!  But we were moving.  Tail light installed and re wired, with a quick connect for future removal.
 One down, one to go and then the rear rail, yes, the one every one always leaves off because it never, ever fits right.  Don't ask me how, but I got that fucker to fit right on the first shot! 
 The little woman was wondering where the hell her man had been for the last 3 days so even she came down to check on the project.  She was quite pleased.  She offered a hand here and there and even corrected me on a big mistake I was going to make!  THAT'S MY GIRL!
 We were doing so well, it was time for Brother Skoog who was installing a 3" Primo Belt Drive on to his fxr for Sturgis, to start cracking some beers.  I was so pleased with my progress that I too shared a beer with him and the lil woman!

Okay, I'm not being totally truthful there.  Let's just say it was time for Brother Skoog to open another beer and we will leave it with that!  It was ice cold and tasty for the record and it is really very rarely that I have beer at all, but this one was victorious and delightful!

With both bags on, we were really kicking ass.  All that is left to do is straighten out that rear wheel, tighten up some loose shit, put some washers where I forgot and install the lic. plate bracket and then she rolls off of the lift!  It was a lot of work but it was well worth it.  I look forward to installing the fixed fairing!
 Even the lil woman was pleased with the turnout!  Here she is sitting aside the bike that is going to carry her man and all his shit for about 3 thousand miles next month!  When I return home from Sturgis, this beautiful girl is going to carry both me and my beautiful girl on a much over due California trip for both of us!  I just want to thank;

Keith Cole
Ken Schmoldt
Roadside Marty
Milwaukee Mike
The boys from Foundry Moto
Diane of course
Whiskey John
Brother Adam (and you know why)
and anyone else that I am forgetting, hey, it's 3 am and I am really tired right now!

Till we see each other on the road, hopefully Sturgis,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass.

Your happy friend,
Jack Shit


  1. It's shapin up decent brother, I'm glad your happy with the boards and I can't wait to put some miles down riding beside you on it up in Sturgis, thanks for the props..your one of the good ones Jack and I'm fortunate to have you and Diane in my life! Love, Loyalty and Respect Roadside Marty