It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

No bullshit here, this is "hands down" the best I have ever had!

Every now and again I come across a place that is a must see, a road that is a must ride, a person who is a must know, an artist who is a must check out and on the very rare occasion, a product that is a must have!  I have come across one of those products and I want to share it with you guys, my friends.  Now understand from the get go, no one is paying me to do this, there is no promise of a hand job if I say something nice, nothing like it at all, but now that I said that, I'm thinking it's not such a bad idea, anyway,  I just know when something is good and when something is shit!  Typically, if it is Shit, I say nothing!  I am not in the business of hurting people's feelings.  Oh wait, I am a stand up comic, so that may not be fully the truth.  Let's say for the most part, I am not in business of doing it and I don't normally take pleasure in it, normally!

I got mine nearly a year ago and I never ride without them, NEVER!  NO it's not a 64" front wheel, and no it's not some amazing new braking system because God knows, I don't use them because hell, I don't really even have them.  I call what I have, Suggested Retail Rear Brakes, they are not all they are cracked up to be and honestly worth less than a third of what they are valued at!  What I am talking about is something that we take for granted and just grab any old pair.  Now I know where your mind is going and again, NO, I am not now talking about TITS either.  Although now that I am a bit older and have my very own pair to play with any time I like, they are not nearly all they are cracked up to be either!  Hey, at least I don't need a bra yet or that just may be the next product I bring to you.

Last June I think it was, I was riding cross country on the Horse Magazine's Long Road.  I had planned on going for months.  I was going to ride out to New Mexico with George The Painter, Brother Porn and Jay, party with them for 2 days and then ride on off solo to Rockingham, N.C..  As the day of departure neared I started to have second thoughts about riding the Knuck all that distance at such a break neck speed, balls out if you will.  I began to count myself out on the trip.  Turns out that just prior to leaving I got hit with a huge expense and it damn near wiped us out for the month.  How do I justify then leaving for a cross country trip?  My dear friend Daryl could see the disappointment on my face and pulled me aside and said listen man, of all people on earth, it is killing me to see you down, you are there for everybody, always, without fail and now I want to be there for you!  Really, what do you mean?  He said he was going out of town for two weeks and that there would be no way for him to ride, so "just take my new bike and go man"!  Are you shitting me?  Really?  You mean rather than ride a rigid, 64 year old chopper 5k miles, you want me to ride your brandy new Bike?  Let me think for a second, okay!  This is what he gave me!

That bike was damn near brand spanking new.  I think it only had 2500 miles on it!  Some of you may not know the shape that this old scooter jockey is in, but I'll say this, it ain't the best!  5 knee surgeries, a surgically reconstructed hand and wrist and a few ruptured discs take their toll on a guy.  Not to mention my plethora of head injuries and living each day in horrible pain.  What at first felt a little like cheating, riding a bagger on a chopper ride began to feel like a stroke of mad genius!  I took him up on the offer and thought, hell, I'll get off that bike each day and feel like I've never even been on one..... boy oh boy was I mistaken there.  100+ temps matched with 100% humidity at 100 mph will take it's toll on anyone, much less a guy like me.  There were times that my hand and wrist were so bad that I could barely hold on to the bars.  By the time I got to Memphis I wasn't sure what I was going to do.  Take a day to get the feeling back in my left hand and then head back maybe, a BROKEN BITCH!  Well thanks to a new friend that didn't happen.

While sitting at the bar in Memphis, I was hanging out with the one and only Bean're.  C'mon, would you expect less?  He had met a good friend of his there, her name was Lynn.  While we were hanging out she took a look at the brace on my wrist and said "what's that all about", I explained.  She asked if it made it difficult to ride?  I began to explain, "funny you ask but yes, sometimes it does".  We talked back and forth and I began to explain what was wrong with it and how it was repaired.  I told her how bad it was and that I had even thought about turning back.  She told me not to move, that she would be right back, so I didn't.  She returned and asked me about what kind of glove I wore riding.  I don't know, I wear glove, gloves!  What do you mean?  Leather gloves, I wear leather gloves.  Well check this out she said.  She handed me what looked to be a pretty strange pair of gloves.  Different than anything I had ever seen.  Now we have all seen gloves with a pad here or some corny shit that is supposed to help you ride and they actually make it damn near impossible to even hold onto the grips.  You realize you just pissed away more money on shit gloves.  I was blown away by them.  She explained to me that her friend was an orthopedic surgeon and he too rode.  She explained in great detail about the parts of the wrist and hands that get beat up extra hard when riding and holding on to the bars.  Every part of the hand and wrist she mentioned is what was hurt and repaired on mine, what are the odds?  That's why it hurt so damn much!  I told her that I loved them and they felt great and I wished her good luck with them.  I meant it too, they felt pretty good.  She asked if I wanted a pair?  Of course I did but like I said before, cash was really tight and I was on a shoe string budget.  She said that she didn't want me to suffer any longer and she heard in my voice how much I didn't want to turn back.  She said, "TAKE THEM, THEY ARE NOW YOURS"!  Really?  Are you shitting me?  I was blown away!

I got on that bike the next morning and said to hell with it, I am just going to point the bike east and go as far as I could.  About 250 miles in to the trip that day, I all of a sudden realized, WOW, my hand don't hurt and as a matter of fact, neither does my wrist!  HOLY SHIT!  Further on and on, the miles melted away and no pain in the wrist and hand, not only was it incredible, but it was the first time ever that I rode without serious pain, EVER!  I am going to load up a pic so you guys can see these bad lil bitches!

If you click on the pic it blows up full size.  Take a close look at these.  This is not a padded glove by any stretch of the imagination.  These are designed by a specialist!

The back of the gloves are perforated so that you have amazing air flow over them.  Mine are leather on the palms and the backs but they are offered in other ways and materials as well.

Notice that the shape and placement of each pad are designed to hold on to handle bars
and help to keep an extremely tight grip.

I have ridden with these gloves on every single ride since June.  They got me from Memphis, Tenn. to Rockingham, N.C. without hand and wrist pain and without question SAVED MY TRIP!  I met some amazing people in person for the first time on that trip rather than on silly facebook or myspace.  I made business contacts on that trip that will last a life time.  I had one of the most incredible rides that I have ever experienced and none of it would have at all been possible had I not stopped in Memphis and met this dear friend of Bean's named Lynn Rowe.  I believe that the universe puts people in your path for a reason and what you do from there is up to you.  No, they don't all live up to the standards that we have set but you have to take a chance and if they don't, screw em, cut em loose, life is too short to surround yourself with assholes or leeches who suck the very life from you!  I almost said too short to surround yourself with Shit, but that would have cut me right out of all of your lives! 

So now, I want you to do us both a favor.  I want you to go to and check these things out.  They have nine, yes nine, different styles of glove just for riding.  They also make driving gloves and bicycle gloves amongst other things.  The truck drivers that I have turned on to these gloves say that they changed their lives as well.  Also, here on Facebook, you can find my friend Lynn Rowe, ask to add her as a friend and you won't regret it, this lady is first class!  I could go on and on about these gloves but the web site is really the most informative and will answer any question you have.  They have every glove in ever size from xxs to xxl, they will have a glove for you.  Don't forget to tell them that your friend Jack Shit sent ya. 

I have made it clear to Lynn just how grateful I truly am for her generosity and I want you to feel the same way towards me after you have yours.  Remember on that next ride, when you get off of your bike and your fingers still work well enough to dig out that frozen snottsickle, I want you to think of me!

All bullshit aside, check these out, they will forever change your riding for the better.  Whether you ride rigid or you are riding a big road sofa it don't matter, these things are amazing.  Thanks for checking them out and the next time I come across something amazing that has grown to mean something to me, I'll let you guys all know!

Here is the link again;

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