It's been a good ride so far!

Since I was just a kid all I have ever wanted to do was to make people laugh or just smile. As a child, an educator sent a note home to my parents. It read; If your son thinks he is going to get through life making people laugh he is in for a RUDE AWAKENING! He is not living up to his potential. WELL, I'M STILL NOT! But at this site you will at least see me try. From the heart, thank you for even being interested, it means the world to me. I always say, I have not a single fan but many a friend!



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

What will you find when you look inside?

Well I guess that we all have to start sometime.  In keeping with the times, I have finally taken up "blogging". 

I am not your average guy, I fall a little to the right of the Bullseye.  In my 43 years living in JackShit's world, I have experienced life altering highs, soul crushing lows and have had periods of melancholy that would make Dr. Jack Kevorkian kill himself.  Through these times I have been blessed to have a partner in crime for nearly 25 years.  She is often the voice of reason and one early morning in an emergency room parking lot told me the greatest advice anyone had ever given to me at the worst moment in my life, "Jack!", "don't say anything, not one fuckin word to these scumbags!"  That advice and her strength in crisis has afforded me the ability to live the life I am leading, FREE and not through 2 inch thick bullet proof glass!

I am lucky enough to be surrounded by the finest people that my money can rent.  See that I didn't say buy?  That's because like so many in this country, the last few years have been "lean" to say the very least.  I was sure that when I left New Jersey I would never have another person in my life that I could trust with my life.  As luck would have it I was completely wrong and have had the great honor in the last 6 years to surround myself with amazing people.  Not all though.  Some of the "fine folks" that entered our lives here in Arizona have fallen into the category of "I wouldn't piss in their mouth if their teeth were on fire".  When you live someplace tropical you tend to get a great number of people who move there with big dreams and end up there with one hell of a dope habit and would crush a girl scout and her cookies just to "get" something for themselves.  We have learned how to weed these pieces of pure trash out of our lives but on occasion one or two of these complete sociopath fucktards finds there way through our security system.  As of yet, by the grace of God, we have not had to shoot any of these trespassers of sanity. 

I have been lucky enough to travel to some pretty amazing places outside of JackShit's world and I plan to share the memories of those trips with you here.  For example the story and the photos of the giant zit and open sore covered ass and thighs and big monster bush that I awoke with my face damn near in on the beach in Hawaii.  It seems that I damn near always have a camera of some sort on me and manage to capture some crazy shit.

In my time I have had so many "jobs" and I have done so many fantastic things that I promise to finally tell the tales, with total disregard for protecting the guilty involved in them.  So keep that in mind next time you are on a cocaine induced murderous hooker killing night on the town and you ask me to come.  I won't stop you, I just may blog about it once the statute of limitations no longer applies.  I just checked and so many of these statutes have just recently passed so be ready to be shocked, appauled, disgusted, enthralled and perhaps even left wanting more.

I love motorcycles.  I love all motorcycles... well okay, that's bullshit!  I love damn near most bikes.  Like I said above, I will never lie to you.  I love everything about them and I love to see handbuilt bikes.  Forged with the inspiration of many sleepless nights and people telling you that it can't be done or better yet, people asking you why you would ever want to do that to a perfectly good looking bike.  I live in a place where bike night is 365 nights a year.  I have been known to ride to the strip club down the street or ride damn near ocean to ocean and those adventures I just can't wait to share with you all.

I am a writer an emcee an ordained minister (yeah really) and most importantly I am a Comedian!  Everytime I tell someone this or someone introduces me as such, someone without fail says really, tell me a joke or oh yeah, MAKE ME LAUGH THEN!  Well that I can't.  I know only one joke that I can remember.  I don't tell jokes on-stage!  I just get up, introduce myself with my tried and true WHAT'S UP MOTHERFUCKERS? From there on, I just tell the truth and nothing but the truth.  I talk about what's going on in the outside world and moreso, what's happening in JACKSHIT'S WORLD....  so join me, tell your friends about this blog and help me make it a success.  Although I don't really even know what a successful blog is?  oh well, thank you so much for even checking this out.  Until we see each other on the road sometime,
KEEP THE WIND IN YOUR FACE, TITTIES IN YOUR BACK AND THE MAN OFF YOUR ASS!
ps.  I sure hope this is what blog is even supposed to be?

8 comments:

  1. ALL I can say is...."THERE IS NOTHING LIKE LIVING in JACKSHIT'S WORLD." Ya never know what tomorrow will bring. I can definately tell you it's a hell of a lot more fun being Jack. If he only tells you about half the crazy shit he has put me thru through-out the years, part of you will be thanking god you're not me and part of you will be wishing you were.

    ReplyDelete
  2. To know Jack is to love Jack. Jack Shit is The Shit. Keep us laughing Jack!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good start! I can read it without my glasses! Now if I could figure out how to scroll down your page without setting my coffee or cigarette down I would be set!

    ReplyDelete
  4. thank you guys for the support. This project for me is long overdue and it feels great to be writing again. See ya all on the road soon.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shit Jack...oops, haha...you're a good man and I always enjoy reading your shit.

    Cash payments only please, 10% discount if you get it to me by the 1st...Love ya man! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. just let me know where to send the payments.... any press is good press right? Even if you have to pay for it I guess... lol thanks again.

    ReplyDelete
  7. PLEEEEEZ!!! You're my hero Jack, and I'm honored to call you my friend. Merrily I will sing your praises...you're GOOD people! :)

    ReplyDelete