Well that is a lesson that lately I can't seem to learn! I'm pretty sure that it was less than 24 hours before I left for Daytona when I made the announcement to the universe, in a somewhat mocking tone, "I haven't been sick, had the flu or even so much as a cold in close to a decade"! As with everything else in our lives, the Universe quickly responded by crushing my nuts in to dust again!
The worse thing that can happen to someone with an auto immune disease is to get sick! So now not only did I bring Diane home a few Broken Spoke t' shirts but I also managed to get her incredibly sick as well. Oh yeah, I'm such a gift to have in her life! We spent the morning yesterday going to the doctor so that I could find some kind of miracle cure and get me ready for another 9 days of speaking on the mic and another 9 days of minimal rest and food. The doctor took one look at Diane and made her get up on the table. 99.8 fever and she is only at the beginning of this Goat Fucker Flu or whatever the hell it is that I brought home with me! I got so many needles in my ass yesterday and for the record, I don't know why the bitch didn't move her target area around at all, she seemed to have put them all right next to each other, anyway, that I now have a lump so big in my ass I can barely sit! Whatever was going on actually settled in to my knee as well. I guess this thing goes after the weakest parts of your body. "We've got a shot for that too", well, stick it on in there! What the doctor forgot to mention was that within a few hours, Gulden's brown mustard would be spraying out of my ass like holding your thumb over the end of a garden hose on full blast! That was a special bonus of it all!
Now as far as my angel goes, we learned nothing! The tests that they ran at the hospital while she was in the midst of the worst of it all were all wrong! As a matter of fact, nothing they did was right! After an hour with the specialist we learned that we need to see a great many other specialists. It could be the MS rearing its ugly head in a way that we have yet to see or a whole gaggle of other reasons that we have yet to check off of the list! Only time and a few grand will tell. Well hopefully it will tell! I feel horrible for her! In nearly 26 years, I can count on one hand the times that I've seen Diane taken completely out of the picture and laid out and this is one of them. The "brain pain" has decreased thank God but everything else is the same. We've been in bed more or less since Sunday night so it is hard to say if she is passing out at all because I've been asleep on and off through most of it. Anyway, so many of you have sent messages and asked about her, I thought I would do my best to keep you up to date. One way or another, she will be okay because she will not accept any other option.
I can say this though, she sure had a smile on her face when we got home yesterday to find flowers, a card and some chicken soup at the door! Thanks Suzy! You fucking rock!
Until we see each other on the road again or perhaps at AZ Bike Week,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!
Your friend,
Jack Shit
I have had so many of you fine folks tell me how much you guys enjoy the wild, strange & sometimes manic life I lead and love hearing the stories about it and the people I share it with. Here's where I plan to spill it! Know this, YOU WILL GET NOTHING BUT BRUTAL HONESTY FROM ME, so expect nothing less!
God bless brother, you are both in my prayers
ReplyDelete