What the hell happened?

So it seems that every important date in our lives falls during the dates of a big motorcycle rally.  Our wedding anniversary is during the Laughlin River Rally, my birthday falls during the Sturgis Rally and Diane's birthday is during Daytona Bike Week.  This particular year was Diane's 45th and a pretty special milestone!  The problem was that I had no choice, I had to be in Daytona for the rally.  We devised a plan for Diane not to be alone on her special day and had a friend fly in from Jersey that she missed dearly and had not gotten to see in a very long time.  I pulled in some favors and made some calls to make her day a memorable one.  The plan was to send them both to Vegas for her birthday.  They would get to hang there for 2.5 days and get in as much fun as possible while there.  I even have a friend who works with Chris Angel hook them up big time and got them sick seats for his show.  Diane would take me to the airport on Friday early and then go back and pick up her friend later the same day.  For a few days before I left, Diane just didn't seem right.  I thought that maybe she was just bummed that we were going to be apart for so long again, but there seemed to be something more underlying. 

Here is the thing that you may not know about Diane, she will not allow me to worry about things and she does all in her power to keep me from knowing bad shit until I absolutely have to know.  We spoke from Friday night until Monday when they left for Vegas and I could hear something off in her voice but she just said that she was tired.  As so many of you know, Diane takes her shot on Monday night and I was concerned about how that would go.  I could say that it went perfectly because there was no bad reaction but that would not be accurate.  As it turns out, there was no bad reaction because she NEVER took her shot that Monday night!  I only found this out on Thursday of this past week.  Here is another thing that you would not know about Diane.  If I am away on the road, she tells me everything is great no matter how bad things are.  Here is a perfect example.  If she was home, the house was burning and her legs were on fire and I asked how are things at home?  She would answer "oh not too bad, it's a little bit warm here"!  I would never know anything had happened until she picks me up at the airport and drops the bomb on me!  With each time that I spoke to her this past week, she kept telling me that all was well, but I could hear in her voice that things were absolutely not okay.  No matter how hard I pushed, she would just tell me that she was just really tired and that there was nothing to worry about. 

It is so loud between the bands and the bikes at these events that most of our contact is done with text messages.  You can only imagine my shock when the answer to a text I sent reading, "how's my baby today", came back with "I think something is really, really wrong"!  My heart sank instantly!  I ran down towards the highway so that I could get away from the noise but it only cut it down by half.  Did she just tell me something is really wrong?  The girl who would lie through her teeth so not to make me worry just told me something is really wrong?  Something must be incredibly wrong for her to hit me with this.  She began to explain the symptoms that she was having.  Legs, back, neck, vision, blinding head pain and she swore had she not been at home, she would have believed that she had been dosed.  She said she felt as if she were blind drunk and could not walk or keep her balance and then she would pass out.  I was crushed!  I am more than 2000 miles away from home and there is nothing that I can do to help her.  We would text or speak as the night went on and I finally convinced her to try and get some rest and she apologized for making me worry!  Can you imagine, she is saying sorry to me?

I told her to call me the moment that she woke up and if anything happened during the night to call me immediately.  There is a 3 hour time difference between Florida and AZ and the better part of the day had gone by and I had heard nothing.  Finally I sent a text, praying that the answer would be good in any way shape or form.  The answer was not!  I called and got her on the phone and in the nearly 26 years that we have been together, I've never heard her sound so bad!  I could barely make out anything that she was saying and then she would drop the phone and go throw up.  With each call, her condition worsened.  Now this woman is not the girl who cries wolf!  For her to even admit that something is wrong is epic.  My last call with Diane ended at 3:30pm when she got really sick again and told me she would call me right back.  By 5:15 pm, you can only imagine how scared to death I was.  I could not get her back on the phone.  I could not get anyone on the phone, anywhere.  No one I called answered.  I could not even think clearly and then I managed to get our friend Kimberly on the phone.  She left her kids at home and raced over to the house.  I asked her to check on her because the last thing Diane said was, "I need to get to the hospital" and then she was gone.  "Please tell me what you see when you get there" is all I could ask.  When she got here, she confirmed that Diane was in really bad shape but she could not get up long enough to even make it to the bedroom door much less to the car.  Money has been so tight these last few years that we have become so accustomed to not wasting money, that Diane would not allow her to call an ambulance because of the massive cost of it!  Can you imagine?  I could have killed her myself for that one!  I got her parents on the phone and they raced over.

Diane spent about 9 hours in the hospital, maybe longer and was given all kinds of IV meds to help with all the symptoms she was having and she recvd. a CT Scan as well.  Of course they never tell you the actual results of what the test shows and because it was the weekend, there was no one there to read them and explain the results.  All we know is that there is some type of mass in the front of her skull and the pressure from that could be what is causing the massive head pain and migraines.  I made it home by Sunday night and she was much better but still pretty bad.  I tried to get more answers from Diane but she just could not explain what had happened, she had very little recollection of a great deal of it.  On Monday night, I spoke to the girl that she went to Vegas with and boy oh boy did I get an earful.  It seems that the entire time leading up to, during and after the trip, Diane would just pass out while talking to her.  She said that she could see Diane's face change, her eyes sink, her mouth drop and then she would just be out cold.  30-40 minutes later, she would be wide awake, complaining about a migraine and have no idea what just happened.  She took the time to explain in detail all the times that she could remember this happening while she was here.  I was just stunned to say the least!

So we have an appointment tomorrow at the neurologist and I pray that we can get some answers as to what is going on, what may be causing this.  I don't know if this happened because she missed her shot so not to ruin her friends trip?  This was the very first time that she ever went without her meds.  But the more I think about it, this had already begun before shot night.  Did missing the shot add to this?  As of now it is all a great mystery to us both.

I just wanted to keep you guys up to date on where she is with all of this.  The amount of messages that I have received, the calls that I've gotten and the love and support that everyone showed me while I was away will never be forgotten.  Thank you all.  The outpouring of love for Diane was just nothing short of overwhelming!  Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Love unconditionally, your friend,

Jack Shit

Welcome to Daytona Boat Week!

Or at least that is what the sign should have read last night!  Holy sweet baby Jesus!  I have not seen rain like that in years!  Even in Az during monsoon season, I can't remember seeing it come down like that and it was just relentless!  Looks like the sun is fighting to push through and make another appearance.  So far, even with the crazy rain, we are still of to one hell of a start!  So many amazing people on property for this rally!  Make sure you come on down to the Spoke, have a drink and chill with us for a bit!  So far, I'd say it's just the tip!  But you know to never believe it will only be just the tip!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know!  It's been some time since I've posted and I'm sorry for that.  I can't even begin to comprehend where the last few weeks have gone.  It truly seems like yesterday that anytime someone asked me, "hey man, when do you head to Daytona"?  The answer was always six weeks.  No matter how many times that I was asked that question, the answer was always six weeks.  Now in like 15 hours, I head for the airport and I'm off to Daytona Beach for Bike Week.  I went from having six weeks to get ready and doing nothing to panic mode as I try to get my ass in gear, packed up and on the plane!  For the next 10 days, I will be laying it all out on the line to try and bring a smile to the faces of you fine folks that show up at the Spoke to party, have a great time and build some memories.

I've gotten so many "I'll see ya there" messages that if only half of you show up, I'll be thrilled.  Although I am surrounded by people all day and I keep a break neck pace and NEVER even sit down while I'm working, I feel sometimes like a man on an island.  I feel all alone in a see of faces that I don't know and when I see someone I know come riding through those gates it makes me so happy.  I can't begin to express just how very happy I am when you maniacs show up to party with us!  On the flip side of the coin, I get really bummed when I watch you fuckers ride away too!  We have a massive week planned for you all in Daytona and it seems that even though the event is quite literally upon us, we are still adding to it!  So check out the Broken Spoke Saloon's face book by clicking right here,  Spoke's FACEBOOK PAGE, page for updates throughout the day and the week.  Also, don't forget to go to The Spoke's Web Site for an entire list of events, artists, builders and runs that we have planned for you!

For those of you who sent me messages about Jack Shit shirts, yes, I will have them in Daytona.  I'm bringing lots of men's and lady's t's and tanks but I can only bring a few Hoodies with me.  If you want a hoodie, you better get your ass down there early in the week!  If you have been waiting for shirts that were back ordered, they all went out today and I thank you for your patience.

As I said in the opening paragraph, I truly don't know where the last few weeks have gone and looking back, I can't figure out even what I did that ate up so much time.  My email in boxes are damn near maxed out and although I had big plans all week to try and play catch up, I am still way behind.  Here is a word of advice for you my friends;  If you upload Skype, make sure to check your setting on other accounts afterwards.  Not only does it now allow instant messaging that I've always had turned off, but I now receive an email anytime anyone that I know does anything on facebook.  I mean damn near anything.  I opened up my in box to over 9000 emails the other day and that was just on one account.  I would hit delete all but then I would miss the real emails that are lost in the sea of bullshit!  So I said it the other day and I'll say it again, if you sent me a message and I have not gotten back to you and it was important or time sensitive, please re send it to me so that it is on top of the list!

That's it for now folks, it's time to get my shit together and get my head ready for 9/ 15-16 hour days, all to bring a smile to your faces.  I'm going to throw a flyer on here below this so you have an idea of what is going on, but like I said, make sure you check the sites for up to the minute info!

 Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I blame it on the WEED!

This blog has been changed from its original posting.  A photo was added as well as an additional paragraph in red.  Thanks!

Hey everyone! I trust all is well for you fine folks that take the time from your lives to share in what is going on in mine.  I've been busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!  I was going to say busier than a One Legged Blonde (my friend Cat) but she is by far much more busy than I, so it really would not have worked there!  I don't know where the time goes and wish that I could grab some of it back and change history, but sadly, I can't, none of us can.  I've gotten all of your messages asking where the hell I was and if Diane and I were okay and just to let you know, we are well and I thank you for them.  It truly does humble me that we have grown in to part of your lives.  Again, thank you.  There were several reasons behind my most recent hiatus from the world wide web and my most recent disappearing act.  The biggest obstacle that I ran in to was that I let my property go to hell!  Those of you who have followed me or this blog for any length of time know that I love to garden and landscape.  It helps take me away from drama or trouble and I clear the cob webs from my mind.  Well I guess the cob webs really got thick because for the longest time, I ignored the property all together.  Whenever I would go outside or see it through the window, I would say to myself, "you better get right on that tomorrow"!  The next day would come and I would have done nothing and this went on for some time!  Finally, I had no choice but to get at it.  The front of my home began to look like a foreclosure and the weeds in the back yard had managed to become chest high!  I've been at them now for a few hours a day for the last 8 or 9 days, maybe even longer, I can't even remember now.

I've also been getting ready, working on Daytona Bike Week and I've been blessed once again to be part of the team over at Jay Allen's, World Famous, Broken Spoke Saloon and I am pumped about it!  It's been far too long since I've seen a great many of you and I think that is what I look forward to most with each of these rallies that I am lucky enough to be part of.  For those of you who are heading to Daytona Bike Week, I can't wait to see you, so make sure you stop on in at the Spoke to say hello.  We've got a Shit Ton planned for you and yes, a Shit Ton, is an actual measurement!  Here is a quick run down of what we have going on, there is so much more and with each day that gets closer to rally time, I will keep you posted and up to date, so then, I'll see you at the Spoke!

Not only do we have great live music and performances, bike shows and builders, actually building live on property as well as hosting a ride to benefit the Wounded Warriors,  but we have something really special planned for you all.  The Spoke will be hosting the one and only, Miss G String International Contest.  This as I understand is something that you don't want to miss and it is going to be an amazing night!

As I was getting my shit together and getting my fat ass ready and in to rally mode, I got a phone call from the one and only Chris Callen of Cycle Source Magazine and was given an amazing opportunity.  I was tasked with writing the "story of" the mag for the 15th anniversary issue!  This was not only to me a great honor but the biggest piece I've ever written in my life.  The real kicker was that this opportunity had been given to me on Wednesday or Thursday, looking back I can't even recall now and the story had to be written, proofed and to ready to be laid out for print by Monday!  The story of writing the story, took on its own life and became its own story.  Watch for that in and of itself on the Cycle Source Magazine's World Report!  I worked until 4 or 5 am each and every day on that story and I believe it is one of my favorite tales I've ever told.  I'm really proud of it!  That issue, the very special 15th anniversary, the biggest issue ever put out by The Source has just now hit the news stands so go on out and grab one while you can!  I look forward to hearing your feedback on it!  That right there ate up days upon days of my life.

 I found out after I posted this original blog last night that the Mag is at its last stop before making it to the news stands.  Those of you who have subscriptions already have their hot little hands on it, for those of you who don't, why not subscribe and you won't have to worry about waiting for it!  Just a thought?

Right after I return from Florida and the Daytona Rally, I catch a few days to rest up and repeat the entire scenario all over again at a different venue!  As you guys know, my home at AZ Bike Week is the one and only Dirty Dogg Saloon up in Scottsdale and I'm honored that they have chosen to have me back!  Thanks to all at the Dogg who never hesitate to make me feel like I am part of the Dogg Family!  When I finally did break "radio silence" and turn my damn computer back on, one of the very first things I saw was this ad for AZ Bike Week and I laughed my ass off!  Each time I see this, I just can't help but smile!

We've had a dear friend in town from Milwaukee to close on what can only be described as "A DREAM HOME" and that was in Diane's exact words, "the hardest deal I've ever been involved in"!  It seems that no matter how well you are positioned, how great your credit or how much you are putting down, banks these days will do anything that they can to NOT GIVE LOANS!  Diane has been in Real Estate now for 15 years which means that I too have been in Real Estate for 15 years by association and I have never seen anything like this!  Too bad for the bank, every hoop that we were asked to jump through, whether they be on fire or tiny lil hoops, we jumped through them!  The deal on this home so amazing, you would almost begin to think that they hoped it would fall through so that someone on that end could grab it up for themselves!  No matter what though, in the end, the home closed, our friend's trip was not a waste and every single day that she has been here, we've all worked our asses off to make happen and know that when she leaves, everything will be either done or ready to be done and the next time they fly in, they will have a spectacular, finished home to chill out in!  At 11pm last night, I stood on the roof top patio of this home and witnessed the most incredible city light views I've ever seen!  We are so happy for them!  I wish you all many happy years and glorious memories in this home!

So the T' Shirt order has been placed and will be in hand by Wednesday for both rallies.  If you have shirts ordered that were not in stock, they will ship before I leave for Florida.  The last two weeks or so have been a non stop run of hard work and persistence and it is all beginning to pay off.  The house looks a lot less like a foreclosure, we can have guests back again without being afraid that they would be bitten by a snake in the back yard, we've done a few good deeds, spent some time with friends old and new, took one afternoon off and rode the hell out of the bike, got an incredible review of the story that I wrote by the very person that I wrote it for and now I get to do what I love more than anything in the world and that is to entertain people and bring some Smiles Across The Miles!  I know a whole bunch of you have sent messages and I am slowly but surely working my way through them.  As I said in a face book post yesterday, if you sent me something of importance or that is time sensitive, please send it again.  I'll try to get them all opened and answered before I leave for Florida.  So now if you still have questions as to why and where I disappeared to for a week, I BLAME IT ON THE WEEDS!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I am so pumped over this!

So you guys know that I have been crazy busy with all the writing and other things I got going on. With all that, I'm getting ready for Daytona Beach Bike Week where I'll once again have the great honor of hosting Jay Allen's World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon then I shoot right back to AZ for Arizona Bike Week. We are always working to make these events better for all who attend. I get advance notice of course of all the things that we are working on but until they are written in stone, I can't say anything. You have no idea how hard that is sometimes. Well the stone has been carved and this is official, the one and only Uncle Kracker will be performing at the Broken Spoke Camp Ground in Sturgis for the 72nd Sturgis Motorcycle Rally! So make your plans, book your camping space and get ready for one hell of a rally! I grabbed up this video clip because I love this damn song! If I don't get to see you in Daytona or Arizona, I better damn well see you in Sturgis!



Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Stunned I tell ya, fucking stunned!

No, I'm not stunned by the fact that Ms. Jasmine Cain will be once again rocking the stage at the Broken Spoke Saloon nor am I stunned that I am honored to be once again hosting the Broken Spoke for Daytona Bike Week.  What I am stunned and thrilled by is an achievement that I just noticed.  I've been away from the blog for some time now and I apologize to you for that but I have been busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.  In trying to keep up with what I call "real life", the every day shit we have to endure just to survive and getting my shit straight for both Daytona and AZ Bike Week, which this year come back to back and then being tasked to write the biggest story of my career, I have just not had to time to work on the blog.  I appreciate all the "where the fuck are you" mail and the "is everything okay" that comes in when I pull these disappearing acts, thank you guys so very much!  I assure you, all is well.

Now, what is the big damn deal you ask?  Well in my absence, my tiny lil blog here that began almost on a dare has now achieved regular readers in 100 countries!  This may not seem like a big deal to you and I'm sure it is not, but for me, I feel amazing over this!  It's all your damn fault anyway for sharing my writing and ranting with your friends, you sick bastards are the ones responsible for spreading Jack Shit's World, around the world so you only have yourselves to blame!

I've been spending countless hours a day on the phone, on the computer and typing my ass off trying to get this story together and I really feel like I am so very close.  I'll let you know when I get it done.  Oh hell, you guys will know because shit will begin to appear on this damn blog again!  In the mean time, if you are heading to either Daytona or AZ Bike Weeks, please make sure you come on down, say hello and have a drink with me....

In the next few days, I'll post up all of the details of all the events that I'm doing in the next few weeks.

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

The Only Hippies I Ever Liked!

So right from the very beginning, I gave you my word that I would always be totally straight with you and never lie. For better or worse, I would give you brutal honesty. So here is a bit of honesty. Since I have somehow over the last few years found myself with a small bit of notoriety, both people and companies think they can offer me free shit, or products to test out and market those products to my friends and dare I say it, "fan base". The same as the silly videos that I post on you tube and this very blog itself, I've had offers to monetize it. In other words, they want to run ads on the side of my page hoping that you guys will click on it and buy there shit. Because it is on my page, it would seem as if I endorse it. I won't have that!

My Momma always said, "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all". That is the philosophy that I've stayed true to when it comes to these situations. I'm often blessed with companies offering me their products to try out. If I find that they do what they say and live up to their hype, I'll take the time to share it with you folks. If I find out that they are crap, I say nothing rather then hurt the company or tell you fine folks, my friends, some line of bullshit! Sometimes I just find things on my own while out and about this great land of ours and have such a great experience with it, that I feel the need to share it with you all!

If you guys were following face book at all today, then you know how I made the post about taking Diane out to dinner tonight. Because of the fact that it had not only a wild name but the fact that it was a burger joint seemed to have smashed the living shit of some of your funny bones! As much as I made light of it all, like I was the worst husband or least romantic guy on earth, this truly is a place that I really wanted to take Diane for some time and tonight was the night. So we loaded up the ol' Ford Flex in the freezing 54 degree AZ temps and we headed for Phoenix, 44th St and Thomas Road to be exact. The place we were going to was called Two Hippies Gnarly Burger Joint. I had only been there once right around Christmas time to drop off some I Know Jack Shit hoodies and I fell in love with the joint. I have wanted to go back so many times but just could not find the time to go. Well I decided in the middle of the night, that today would be the day! I told Diane and she looked at me like I was nuts. Then after a few moments of staring, I reminded her of my talking about the place around the holidays and she remembered and she was in!

When we got there we were welcomed and treated like family. I mean how the hell can you beat that? We were given a tour of the place and I was blown away. I thought that it was just a tiny lil joint but that it wasn't. The food was incredible and the atmosphere ruled. You could look at the walls for hours with all the cool shit that they have hung up there. So I pulled out my Go Pro and shot some video so that you guys could actually see the place for yourself. This was hands down, the very best burger that I have had in a tremendously long time! Diane, who is allergic to beef went with a Portobello Mushroom Sandwich that she said was the best she has EVER had. The kicker to the whole thing was that the prices were so damn fair. So I want you to do this for me if you will. Go and check these folks out. Stop in the Joint and tell them your friend Jack Shit sent you. I promise you that you will not regret this choice! Two Hippies Gnarly Burger Joint, it's a no brainer! Get your ass over there and change your life! Thank you to the owner Sherl for treating us so nice and making us feel like family!



Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

My Devil Years

Although there were a great many events and rides that I got to go on this past year that were in fact amazing, the flip side of that coin is there were quite a few that I had big plans to attend that I was not able to make it. Two examples of this were the now infamous Slab City Riot that got an epic screwing from THE MAN and the grand opening of the Perri Ink Cartel. The latter of those two, the folks from Cycle Source made the trip out and hosted the bike show. If you would like to see more coverage of the event, hit up some you tube and just search Rally TV or Perri Ink Cartel and I'm sure the vids will come up. I was truly bummed about missing those two. It is one thing to find out about an event after the fact and say "oh shit man, that sounds amazing, sorry I missed it", but it is another to have planned on going for weeks and then not make it. Some of you may remember, Slab City was the event that Charlie the Nomad and his ol' lady Jill crashed out at and they are both still healing to this day from that wreck.

A friend of mine sent me this video a few days ago in my inbox in face book of all places. If you guys know anything about me, you know that my face book inbox is like my personal albatros! I nearly missed this link but I'm so glad that I didn't. Perri Ink Cartel put this video out, it's called My Devil Years and everyone who needs to be mentioned here are in the credits. I think this is truly well done and a pleasure to view, with the exception of course that the damn thing was filmed in, on, to, from and at what in the end became Slab City this year! Just when it was out of my mind, nearly forgotten and didn't hurt as bad to think about, this video pops up and pours salt in that old wound! Mad props for this video, I loved it. If there is one video that I have seen that puts our "riding life" and "style" in to prospective, this short film captures it. I recognized quite a few faces in this and oddly enough, I recognized even more of the bikes then I did the people! Just goes to show where my priorities are.

So take a few minutes, enjoy this film and by all means, check out Perri Ink Cartel out in L.A. when you are in town!



Until we see each other on the road again, or in a few weeks down in Daytona,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Thought I'd shit myself!

I know that it's been a while since I posted up anything on the blog, but I've been experiencing a complete and total lack of anything good lately. I have a memory like an elephant when it doesn't matter and a memory like a crackhead when it does. I have come to the conclusion that I experience these lows and desperate lacks of creativity after Diane experiences really awful reactions to her shots. When things are good, it all seems to flow, when she gets a bad reaction, it is like someone or something builds a wall and blocks any happy thought. Oh well, what can you do... they say the universe never gives you more than you can handle. I would however like to meet the "they" who say it so that I can kick them in the teeth and choke them until they turn blue and repeat this mantra right back to them!

On a happier note, DAYTONA BIKE WEEK AT THE WORLD FAMOUS BROKEN SPOKE SALOON is only a few short weeks away and I damn well better see you there! I will be taking and recording attendance and if you don't show up, I will put this on your permanent record and you know how serious that is! It will follow you throughout your entire life! That being said, I've been instructed to find some art work and some good shots for promo use. One would think that after all of my years as an entertainer, I would have oh I don't know, perhaps at least ONE FUCKING HEAD SHOT, but I do not! The other problem with this is, although I quite literally have thousands of photos, I have very few photos of me! The whole reason that I have so many photos is because I take them with friends and people that I meet on the road or at rallies. The simple fact that people like to have their photo taken with me will forever both humble and dumbfound me! So about two months or so ago, I began dumping everything off the hard drive of my lap top and putting the pics on to a mobile storage device. Last night, before dinner, I began searching and searching for some decent photos of myself. I did not find any, but I did take a long walk down memory lane. I found pics from as far back as a few days after I was born right up to this past weekend. I also found a mislabeled folder in a wrongly named album entitled MY FAV VIDS. In that file, I found some great shit and I mean great shit. One of those great little videos that I found is the video I've put in this very post. If you have never happened upon one of these beasts you can't quite imagine the horror. If you have never near blindly stepped on the middle of one of these evil fuckers back, you can't quite imagine the horror. How about plainly, you just can't imagine the horror in realizing that you are easily 35 miles from the nearest hospital as you nearly did the things I just mentioned a moment ago, you guessed it, horrifying.

Allow me to set it up real quick for you so that you can feel the moment as I experienced it. Diane had sold our friends this incredible dream home. This home was in the Superstition Wilderness, only feet away from the National Forest Fence Line. When you looked up, a near 6000 foot high mountain was directly in front of you. I don't mean off in the distance, "hey look at the mountain over there", I mean you can't see anything, BUT the mountain. The Superstition Mountains are truly spectacular, if you ever have a chance to visit, trust me, go and visit. So they closed on the house and had yet to move in to it. We were there to celebrate the sale with them and we are walking around the property which has insane 360 degree views. These particular people would laugh at me each time I saw some wild animal because I got so excited. Now I don't mean OMG, LOOK AT THE SQUIRREL! I mean HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT THE BOB CAT or LOOK AT THOSE TWO EAGLES SITTING ON THE CACTUS! You hear what I'm saying? FUCKING EAGLES!!!! So as I'm marveling at these Eagles, three Mule Deer come walking right in to the back yard! These things are huge! That's it, I am so damn near giddy that I announce that I can't take it and I'm running to the driveway to get the camera out of the car. I ran through the house as fast as I could because I didn't want to miss the shot. I walked over to the car, opened the door, grabbed the camera, turned it to the right setting, slammed the door and was staring at the screen as I walked around the truck parked next to us. As I spun around to take a step, I heard THE UNMISTAKABLE SOUND! Watch the video below and you will see what caused that very sound.....

I believe that the narration and the description that I give while the camera was rolling is all that will be needed to truly capture the moment. I hope you enjoy this and if you only learn one thing from your pal Jack Shit, let it be this...... LOOK DOWN AT THE FUCKING GROUND WHEN WALKING IN THE DESERT!



I truly do hope to see as many of you as possible at this upcoming Daytona Bike Week and do not send me a message afterwards saying "oh yeah, I saw you at the Spoke but didn't want to bother you"! That pisses me off!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

Jack Shit's Biker Day Camp

It's funny, these days I'm not quite the photographer that I use to be. There was a time that you never found me without a camera in my hand or on my person. I loved to shoot video and pics, I saw things, I saw beauty, I saw things that others may not have and I always tried to capture it. I don't know if that part of my brain has been on vacation of late, but I'm just not seeing it anymore. At any given time, I at least have my droid on me and that actually takes a pretty decent photo, but at the very least have my still camera, which also shoots video and now the Go Pro, yet I never seem to turn them on anymore. This past week, we literally had a house full of international guests and quite a few days and nights of great ol' American partying... I CAPTURED NONE OF IT! It seems to me that the only shots I ever seem to get these days are as the last guest rolls away.... Once again, after all this, it is the only shot that I got. Diane picked me up a Samsung Tablet for me to travel with rather than my lap top, thinking it would be easier. I really have no idea how the damn thing works and since I had it in my hand, I thought I may as well see how it shoots video, so here it is. The only shot of all of my house guests.... lol... This is Taco and he is from London, England and he is heading back to Cali. It was great to see the bike up, running and firing on only one kick. That fucker died on Friday night at 75 mph in the fast lane, just flat out died... he was lucky that he was not killed! The guys from Knockout got the bike straightened out and as I understand it ran great all the way to San Diego.



Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

BIG MOUNTAIN RUN

Tonight, or really this morning, I realized that on you tube, you can link and edit videos that you have loaded up together and shit.... who knew? Anyway, here is the first one that I screwed with and with spring time and another BMR coming soon enough, I thought I'd post it up for you guys to see. Enjoy. Now I that know I can do this... this adds a new dimension to what I have in mind....

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Quite Simply, Bad Ass!

So it's got to be 7 years ago now when my buddy Richie Pan from Dark Star Tattoo in Jersey called me up in AZ and said "hey man, I want you to hook up with this cat Todd from Iron Horse Magazine". They are looking for a sick bike and I told him about your knuckle.  To make a short story even shorter, we hooked up and my knuckle had a 5 page spread if memory serves me correctly.  NO it didn't get the cover if you can imagine that but I'm willing to overlook that lil fact right now.  More importantly, the story is about the relationships you build in this life of ours that we have chosen to live.  The key to lasting is not to burn bridges or to be an asshole!   What you put out in the world comes back to you.  If you do good things, people do good things by you!  Todd did me a solid and ran a feature on Koko for Iron Horse so now I'm going to do him a solid and share his insanely good band, King Giant with all of you, more than 90 countries worth of you maniacs.  I hope you enjoy this!  The album was officially released today and this video, which to me is just like a kick ass mini move is the first from the album.  So I hope you enjoy it, buy some shit and support local music and send these fuckers over the top!

Sometimes you can believe what you see

My buddy Joey Chop always seems to find the coolest shit on the web.  Today he posted up a photo on facebook that made me laugh out loud, yeah, really.  I believe the saying, "believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see"!  Since photos can be so easily altered these days, even photographic proof don't mean a damn thing anymore.  This photo though I believe falls under the category Truth In Advertising at the very least.  I won't go on anymore, I just wanted to share another of Joey's great finds!

This guy ain't kidding!  I know a whole bunch of people who get STATEMENTS tatt'd up on them that are truly difficult to believe.  I guess when you have a tattoo that reads "Hard 2 Kill" someone may just want you to prove it!  Look at the size of that fucking knife in his face!  You have got to be pretty pissed off to stick a knife that big up someones nose!  I love that instead of helping him, everyone around him is taking pics! 

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back,
The Man off your ASS
and I hope you stay, HARD 2 KILL

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Pinky Pancake of Sacred Skin working on Jack Shit

It really is pretty amazing what will be discussed while being tattooed! This conversation went from new camera technology to how desperately I was holding in a fart and how I had lost said fart somewhere in my body from holding it in. Most importantly, none of it phased Pinky in any way shape or form. She just drilled away! I'm glad we remembered to turn the camera on for some of it. You guys really need to check out SacredSkinTattoo.com and see the catalog of amazing work that they have put out, take a tour of their gorgeous shop and start planning your next piece.

Once again, Pinky and Long Jon for being such great friends, well fuck that, such great family because that is what you are to us! You maniacs are our family and you are stuck with us! Enjoy watching this incredible artist at work.



Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

MY NEW BADASS TATTOO

It has been more than 7 years since I got some ink. I know, madness right? How can that be? I've asked myself that very same question repeatedly. There was not much of an answer to be had. Perhaps laziness, perhaps lack of inspiration who knows. I do know that I hadn't really been in the right place at the right time with cash in my pocket either. As things around here became tougher and tougher money wise over those last few years, the last thing that was on my mind was oh poor me, I'm not getting any ink.... Whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa. Soon it was just something I didn't think about it at all. I'd seen a ton of my friends getting some good work done but I'm not much of the jealous type.

At one point a few years ago, I had become sort of anti tattoo. Back in the day, people would not even walk up to a tatt'd up biker for fear of having their head stomped. Now tattoos are so common place that I've actually seen and heard a guy walk up to a patch holder in Sturgis and say and I shit you not "wow, look all those tear drops, did you really kill all those people"? Can you imagine. I watched every frat boy and girl with big monster tribal tats running up and down their bodies and I was just disgusted. If I could have turned back time, I would have every single tattoo removed or have never gotten them, just so I would not be like these other douchebags! I'm sure that my personal rant is just dribble to you right now but hey, you screwed up and clicked the damn link to get here so it's your own fault and you are stuck now! As you may have figured out by now from my writing, I'm one of those people who tends to think far too much! I look too deep in to these topics and who am I to judge anyone who wants to get a tattoo? With that being said, I knew it was time again. While on the ride to Sturgis, I came up with this idea for a tattoo, but I could not figure out a way to describe it. On the ride home from Sturgis, I stopped in at Sacred Skin Tattoo in Payson, AZ just to say hello to Long Jon and Pinky Pancake, two people that have become dear friends to Diane and myself over the last few years.

I had not put much more thought in to the ink since that day. Every now and again I would think about how I wanted to lay it out and I would draw a blank. On New Years eve, we had a small gathering of great friends and Pinky showed up bearing gifts. She had taken it upon herself to draw up the piece that I had been trying to explain. The only thing was, she had taken to the next level and further. She drew this original piece and framed it and gave it to me as a gift! I was blown away. I have not been able to stop thinking about it since. Well I finally made an appointment, found the time to get up there and get it done. I thought when looking at it framed that it was the coolest thing ever. I was never more wrong because as cool as it may have been framed as art, it does not even come close to what this piece looks like immortalized in ink on my arm! I arrived home last night after midnight with a migraine that was blinding me. I tried to get a good shot but could not! I took one with my phone, it was okay but not a great photo. I took a quick shot with my camera and that too was not bad, but did it no justice. So today, I grabbed the go pro real quick and shot a little bit of it. Check out how bad ass this new ink of mine is!



Until we see each other on the road again, make sure you stop at Sacred Skin and get some bad ass ink of your own and oh yeah,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Gran Torino - Every Clint Eastwood Insult

I had to re share this with everyone! Old people although slow and stinky can still be of a use to us. They can be used as an example. An example of funny shit! When Clint said these lines during the movie they were funny as hell. All put together in this compilation is damn near side splitting. Not sure if I've ever heard "eggroll" used so many times in my life! It just goes to show you how only a few years back was an entirely "different time". Before the hate mail and shit starts, take this for what it is and that is, just plain funny! If you know the movie, then you will understand all of this, if you don't, you won't get this at all!



Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Dreams Really Do Come True

WEll if you read my last blog post about my trip to Milwaukee for the Shed Party, you know what an amazing trip it was. What I did not get in to it all that much detail was the party itself. I put together this little video from the trip, I hope you enjoy.

Again, I want to thank everyone who made this trip so incredible. As you know, I've wanted to go to a Shed Party since the first time I'd ever heard it mentioned. Over the last 6 or 7 years, this family, the Shed family has become my family, so it was only fitting that I finally make it! Boy oh boy did we make it. I would run down the list of all the people who made the trip possible, who housed us, who fed us, who welcomed us and loved us, but you guys know who you are and I don't want to mention your names because I don't want people coming up to you and saying, "can I stay at your place"? "What do you mean no, you let Jack Shit and GTP stay there"! I still find it difficult to wipe the smile off of my face and the party was 4 days ago! From the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping me wipe an item off of my bucket list! You guys know who you are and you know that my home is your home.... and the door is always open, there is always beer in the fridge and a hardy meal for your bellies!

I hope you guys, my friends who were not able to make it to this life altering event enjoy what little of it I was able to get on film. These memories will last with me forever!




Until we see each other again on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I CAN CHECK THIS ONE RIGHT OFF MY BUCKET LIST! NEXT ITEM PLEASE!

THIS POST HAS CHANGED SLIGHTLY FROM ITS ORIGINAL FORM AS FOR SOME REASON, AN ENTIRE PARAGRAPH HAS DISAPPEARED SOMEHOW.  I TOLD YOU I NEVER READ THIS SHIT, I JUST CLICK PUBLISH POST!

Quite simply, I'm not a man with big hopes or grandiose dreams.  There are very few things that I hope and pray for.  Mostly, if I'm having a one on one with the big man up in the stars, I just ask for him to make Diane's burden less!  I do however still have a list of things that I'd like to do before I die, that's not so selfish right?  I don't announce to the world what those things are because I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me if I don't achieve them.  I'll stick with only Diane feeling sorry for me each time that I pull my pants down.  Well, I guess that may be the only time she feels sorry for herself as well.  This past weekend, I got to take my big fat imaginary sharpie and cross an item right off of my mental bucket list.  I would actually write it down on paper but I'd be afraid someone would find it and it would be evidence enough to show intent and I would be locked up forever, so for now, it stays locked up in the only place that I can stay out of trouble, in my mind!

A few weeks ago, I had toyed with the idea of making this item happen but as our luck and our life would happen, we got nailed with a few unexpected expenses and they were each close to a grand.   By the grace of God, we had the funds on hand to cover them but it wiped us out of "screw around" money.  Hell, this one almost took us back to Ramen Noodles for a few days, luckily it did not.  A few dinner invitations and a little fasting and we made it through!  It looked like it wasn't going to happen and I was okay with that.  It's not like I had hard plans and after all, it's not called a bucket list item for nothing, right?  There is always next year!  It is an annual event and if the world does not come to a crashing halt on 12/21/12, then the odds are good that this event will still continue.  It was only a few days out when I got the call from a friend....  "hey man, I was thinking bout having GTP come up to Milwaukee to shoot some pics and paint a portrait of me and my brothers before I leave the country".  Part of me was instantly a little tiny bit jealous but nearly all of me was thrilled for GTP, really, I swear!  I told him that I thought that it was a great idea and that I'm sure he would love the end result.

His next statement hit me smack in the nuts.  He said "why don't you come with him"?  I would love to, of course I would love to.  I'd only been talking about it for A FEW FUCKING YEARS, but I could not, money was far too tight".  "Doesn't George need someone to help him and hold the flash or carry his cameras around or something"?  Well, yes, I do believe he does....  WELL THEN, THAT SETTLES IT, you are coming too, I could use the extra Sky Miles!  I sat stunned.  I tried, I honestly tried to talk him out of it.  I am really great at being a giver, I love it but I am really bad at receiving gifts and the more generous they are, the harder it is for me to take!  No for an answer was not going to be taken, I too was on my way to Milwaukee!  Right now, you have to be thinking, what kind of twisted sick fuck would have going to Milwaukee in the winter on a bucket list?  Well this twisted sick fuck would and in a second, you will understand why!

So your friend Jack Shit, the comedian, the host, the writer was now Jack Shit, camera case holder and designated drunk passenger and I would not have had it any other way.  We began our travel day on just about 2 hours sleep.  I think GTP got an hour more than me but hey, the little woman wanted to say goodbye, ya hear what I'm saying?  The looks on the faces of the people in the airport as the two of us fucktards made our way through were priceless.  The look on the TSA agents faces when we passed security screening without so much as a cavity search even greater!  You just know that they wanted a piece of us!  I knew it as I watched as the people in front of us passed through the metal detector and nobody even looked at them.  They just stared at us as they snapped their latex gloves on to their hands!  But we showed them.  We hid all the dope in a little old lady's bag that went right before us and then we pick pocketed it right back after we passed security!  Okay, we didn't do that, George did!  We had to fly to Minneapolis where we would have a layover for a bit over an hour and then hop on to our final destination.  The question was, what would we do with that time?  The answer?  Run like mother fuckers through the airport!  Our plane was late and now this!  Picture two crippled old bikers running for their lives, dragging briefcases and camera bags as fast as our busted backs could go.  Imagine the sight of us running down the moving sidewalks?  It was not pretty but people sure did move out of our way!  We made it to the next plane as they were boarding, the Universe was kind this day and had delayed the connecting flights arrival.  George and I make friends every where we go if you can believe that.

Brother Mario was going to meet us just past the last TSA Checkpoint.  Lo and behold, he sees a friend and the guys first words to him were, "I think two of your friends were on my flight"?  Really?  How do you know?  "I just know" was his answer.  Sure as shit, IT WAS US!  We stick out like a pig at a Muslim convention!  As we approached he was already laughing and within moments of hearing this we were laughing too.  Right up until the airport doors automatically slid open.  WE WERE NOT LAUGHING ANY MORE!  Remember how I said that the Universe had given us a break?  Well I guess you only get one of those per day.  It was like getting hit with a sledge hammer to the forehead!  I thought that the PA system on the plane was malfunctioning when we landed and the pilot spoke.  Did he say we were at terminal one?  NOPE!  As it turns out, what he had said was, "the current TEMPERATURE IS ONE"!  Yes, that is correct, ONE MOTHER FUCKING DEGREE!  At this very same time, it was 77 degrees in Phoenix, that is a 76 degree temp drop.....  and this is the very first thing that we saw as we landed.

Interesting, our airport does not have white pavement?  As it turns out, neither does Milwaukee!  Brother Mario picked us up and just laughed at us all the way to the truck.  We had planned for cold and we had gone long underwear shopping the night before.  Picture George and I dragging Diane through the stores for this.  I really don't know why she puts up with us?  She just laughed the entire time, especially as I video taped George pulling his pants down in the middle of a store called Dick's.  I guess it just seemed appropriate to him.  I have to admit, it sort of seemed reasonable to me to at the time.  Our first stop on the trip was to a store to load up on beer and then off to Ken and Darlene Baas' house.  If that name sounds familiar to you, that is because it should, that is our dear friend, the one and only Kevin "Teach" Baas' mom and dad!  We were going to hang out in their garage, do some drinking, do some bike talking and just soak in the lovely Wisconsin temps!  On this 80 acre snow covered farm, we were welcomed and treated like family!  These two amazing people have been living this life that we love and building and riding MurderSickles before many of us were even born!  I will go on the record and say this, THESE PEOPLE ARE NOTHING BUT CLASS!  We were going to drop by for a beer or two and wait for Biker Jym to come pick us up.  He would be there in 45 minutes!  As the second 24 pack was opened and we wondered where the hell Jym was, the phone rang.  He was stuck at the bottom of the farm driveway and his four wheel drive was not working!  We are off to help!  Outside we all run and for the first minute, with the lights shining and the snow falling it was just gorgeous.  The way the headlights hit that big old red barn was straight out of a movie.  By minutes two and three, the beauty had long since passed and my nuts were racing up in to my body for some place warm to hide!  I quickly pretended that I was really happy to see Jym and jumped in his truck for some "quality time"!  His four wheel may not be working, but his heater sure as shit was!

Milwaukee Mike was the guest bartender down town at this kick ass lil joint in a row of houses and we were going to see him but first a nice dinner.  We drove back to Mario's place where we were to stay and it was just gorgeous!  The way the house looked with all the fresh snow in front made it look like a post card.  Right then, I knew that having to stay in conditions like this was going to be really rough but I was going to do what I had to do!  Well here, I'll show you and you can judge for yourself just how bad we had it!  I mean don't get me wrong, it wasn't like sleeping in a cardboard box, but close!  We knuckled up and just made the best of it.  For example, I only had 7 pillows on my bed, can you imagine having to spend time under these conditions?

If you see the conditions that we were forced to endure, then I'm sure you can only imagine the meal that we were forced to eat that night as well.  I mean really, Fillet Mignon and Wine?  What are we savages?  We spent the next hour or so looking for kitty litter, that is an entire blog in and of itself, so I will just move on past this subject.  I will however tell you though that it was at exactly 10:04 pm that the heat in the truck suddenly stopped working!  For the fine folks who live there, a mere inconvenience, for us two AZ pussies, you would have thought we were dropped in to a ice filled horse trough!  I stepped outside the truck to smoke and figured it would be so damn cold outside that the truck would feel warm.  It did, for a moment or two.... then, not so much!  As we pulled away, kitty litter in hand, the heat kicked back on!  Back to the house to spend some quality time in the garage while we awaited a few more bar goers.  So now you've seen the squalor like conditions that we have to sleep in, you've heard about the awful food we had to eat, wait till you see the work conditions in the garage.  I mean how are you supposed to function with that big heater blowing over your heads warming the arctic air and allowing your fingers the dexterity to actually hold on to a tool?  I know, awful right?  Then, to add insult to injury we had to get stuck in the middle of the quadrangle of hell between the two Knuckleheads, the Panhead and the fridge full of anything and everything one could ever need to drink while working on bikes.  It was horrible!  Oh yeah, did I tell you that this God awful garage had every tool you could ever imagine?  No?  Then I won't!  Well, see for yourself what we were forced to endure!

 Here is a quick shot I was able to capture of our cruel host!  This was taken right in between beatings!

We finally loaded our sorry asses in to the F 350 and off we went.  To add insult to injury and what nearly ruined the entire trip was when the rear back up camera that is built in to the rear view mirror malfunctioned!  It nearly sent us packing and right back to AZ, but George and I endured!  Hey, it was the very least we could do, right?  We rolled on in to down town, parked and entered the bar which was filled asses to elbows with the greatest people God ever put on this crazy ass planet we live on.  I have to tell you what really chapped my ass was how rude everyone was.  I mean they just walked right up and without even asking permission to touch you, wrapped their arms around you with these big ass bear hugs and would not let go!  It was awful to say the very least!  We arrived around midnight and were going to stay for one drink just to show our support for Milwaukee Mike.  So at 2:15 when we were thrown out of the damn bar by the staff who was equally as horrible as the patrons there was no place left for us to go but home......  oh yeah, there was one place we could go and we decided to do just that.  The plan was set in to motion.  It was a simple plan, "ONE AND WERE DONE".  One drink and we'd be right out the door.  Where did we go you ask?  Well we went to the one and only, world fucking famous, SHED!  Oh yeah bitches, we are in Milwaukee and it is SHED PARTY weekend!  One and done, we are sticking with the plan.  It took about ten minutes from the bar to get there and we left the bar by 2:20 am.  So as we rolled in to the house at 5:15 am we tried to figure out where and when the plan went to hell?  We fired up the plasma cutter and cut our names in to a nice piece of steel that will be leaving the country for Amsterdam.  6 am and we are still awake.  We are now up for with the exception of the 2 hours of sleep, somewhere near 45 or so hours and I am loving it!

We had HUGE PLANS for the next day.  Saturday night was the Shed Party.... holy shit, I'm in Milwaukee for the Shed Party!  I won't cross it off the bucket list quite yet as I haven't quite made it to the party, but damn, this is the closest I've ever come to attending.  We were going to go spend the day at the Harley Museum, then go over and see Warren's shop and visit Lil Ben, pick up a trailer at the Shed and bring it back to pick up Mario's knuckle, what could go wrong?  Well, I guess quite a bit when you put GTP and I in charge of it and you don't go to bed until 7 am.  We did make it to see Warren and Lil Ben so screw the museum.  I didn't want to be that jerkoff with the camera just snapping away but man oh man, the shop was just awful!  Here we are again, having to deal with these sub human conditions.  Yet another shop where I have no earthly idea of how anyone could ever get anything done.  I mean with distractions like the "break room" with it's bar and pool table if my memory serves me correctly, right on down to the photo studio and the second story line up of gorgeous bikes for all to have to suffer through viewing!  I mean Jesus, here is another place where you just can't walk straight through, you have to step around a Panhead here and a Norton there and oh, well, I guess you get the idea.  All the other things that make these places miserable like one off tanks and helmets hanging on the walls and from the rafters!  I won't go crazy showing you pictures because I don't want you guys to have to suffer as we did but I will share with you the truly hard to endure moments and things that were particularly painful to witness.

Like I said, just terrible.  We were running out of time and like Cinderella, I had to get GTP to the ball!  It was the night of the one and only SHED PARTY and I was excited like a school girl on prom night!  All we had to do was drive back to the house, get the camera and head back to the SHED.  What could possibly go wrong?  All we had to do was follow the GPS in the truck, it's technology, it could never lead us astray!  Well I guess that would be true if had someone not changed the settings to avoid freeways!  So we had only about 40 or so miles to go, roughly 30 minutes on the freeway.  Oh yeah, that's right, we never got to see one of them.  40 miles, traffic light to traffic light to traffic light.  Did I also forget to mention that not one person on those surface streets ever drives more than 35 mph?  We arrived back at the house and I hadn't torn the steering wheel off with my bare hands so we had that going for us.  Our plan for a couple long hot showers, fresh change of clothes and maybe even a nap turned in to running through the house, changing socks and shirt, grabbing the cameras, running down stairs, out to the driveway, smoke a cigarette as fast as humanly possible and then jump right back in to the truck!  We outsmarted the GPS by not using the one in the truck!  I waited until after we got on the freeway and used my phone to get us there.  SHED PARTY 2012, here we come!  Eat your hearts out world!  We made it on time, George got everyone lined up for the portrait shot and the evening got under way in style.  You guys ready for what happened next?  Do you want to hear what happened on the night that I got to cross off a long over due item on my bucket list?

I bet you do, but what happens at the SHED PARTY stays at the fucking SHED PARTY!  So sorry but that's how it goes!  I can tell you that it was hands down, one of the greatest parties that I have ever been to in my life held at one of the coolest places that I have ever been at, where I was invited by people who I love.  I was welcomed like family and treated even better.  I had bruises on my back from the hugs and back slaps that I was lucky enough to receive all weekend long.  One day, maybe you too will be invited to the SHED!  Maybe? 

Roughly shy of 7 years ago, the Milwaukee crew rode their crazy choppers right on in to our lives and in to our hearts and they will remain there until the day that I die.  This party was more than just an annual offering to the demons, it was so much more.  Jimmy Giggles was leaving Milwaukee to make a fresh start in Virginia and it is hands down the right thing to do.  Brother Mario is leaving, wait, correct that, has already left to live in Amsterdam for a few years!  This party was both a welcome to the SHED and a going away for brothers who helped to make the SHED the world famous place that it is today!  A place where legendary bikes roll out, legendary people roll in and LOVE, LOYALTY, HONOR AND RESPECT are not just words but a way of life!  They are a family, a brotherhood and a world unto itself!  I will forever cherish what we share as friends and brothers and do all I can to only make what we share the very best it can be.  I am honored that these crazy fuckers welcomed me in to their home, their house, their lives!  I no longer have to worry about making it one day to the SHED PARTY as a bucket list item but just when do I book my flight for the next one!  This party has gone from my attending being a dream to having a place forever etched in to my calender!  I can't thank everyone in Milwaukee enough for the hospitality and the generosity that you showed to me.  I never forget these things, ever!  I'd run down a list of those names, but that would be evidence that others were there.

I know you are saying to yourself, I can't believe that this prick made us read all this shit and then gave us no details of the party and no pics either!  Well if you are thinking that you are right, I will not post any pics and I won't write a single detail.  I am however working on the SHED PARTY MOVIE so keep your eyes out for that, it's coming soon!  DID YOU FUCKERS REALLY THINK THAT I WOULD LET YOU DOWN?  C'mon, it's your pal Jack Shit.... I'd never do that to you!  I'll let you know when the movie is done!

Again, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart to all of you lunatics in that frozen tundra known as Milwaukee, THANK YOU!  Now I have replaced this item with the Knuckle Shuffle on that Bucket list of mine.... who knows, I may just make a spring time return!

Until we meet on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Well that was a first for me and I like it!

So last year, as many of you fine folks know, I got to go to my first BMR and while down there I got to meet this good ol' boy named Jeremy, all thanks to our mutual good ol' boy friend Mailman.  It was like a good ol' boy festival down there.  When I first met him, I could sense a bit of apprehension from him about me, after all, I am a Yankee.  I was once taken aside while down in Georgia by yet another good ol' boy who explained to me that I was a Yankee and that there are three kinds of Yankees.  There are Yankees, no good Yankees and NO GOOD GOD DAMNED YANKEES!  I respect a guy who doesn't just blindly like or trust someone because another friend brought them around.  We all know that weeds grow in between the cracks and sometimes those weeds, if not dealt with right away are really difficult to pull and they keep coming back.  You pretty much need to spray them with like Napalm or something to keep them away forever and you guys know they don't sell Napalm at the Home Depot!  Anyway, it took a bit of time, but eventually we hit it off.  From then on, we would cross paths at a rally or online and without fail, this maniac would just make me laugh.  They say that sales people are the hardest to sell and by that theory, comedians are the hardest to make laugh.  This guy, MAKES ME LAUGH!

So I often see him post up links on face book about a radio show that he does.  Times have changed and I didn't realize that it is what I guess you would call an internet radio show?  I'm still not sure if that is what it is called.  Here I thought, damn, if I lived in Georgia, I could hear this damn thing.  Today, the universe aligned and I just happen to be online when he posted up the link.  I clicked on it and realized that I didn't have to be in Georgia to hear.  Oh hell, I'll check it out, it's something new for me.  It took me a few minutes to navigate around the page and figure out how the hell to turn it on, the show was already under way.  I can't tell you what they normally do or what the format for the show is, but I can tell you that it is really funny and more importantly, IT IS REALLY HONEST!  You all know how I feel about that right?  Shit, there should not have even been a question mark at the end of that last sentence! 

While listening to the show, I could not help but think that this was obviously a bike related show, that goes without saying but it was more like sitting by the fire at a run after a day of riding, drink in hand and story telling.  With the show being on the net, you can send them messages, call in and it is all live.  The more that I listened, the more I liked it!  The show was not what I thought, it was not about the proper gap for a spark plug, but I'm sure if you call them and ask, they will tell ya, but it was about current shit in our lives.  The MurderSickle life that we all love so much!  The topics current and although serious, it was non stop laughter.  The host laughing at us and himself and that my friends is the formula for greatness!  If you can't laugh at yourself, you are in the wrong business!  In just the brief time that I was able to catch the show, quite a few people in the industry were both on the phone and hammering away on the keys leaving comments in real time.  It was the first that I've ever experienced anything like this!  I really dug it.  At the end of the show, I got to call in and say something that I've always wanted to say....  are you ready to hear it?  Okay, here it goes......  I thought my head was going to explode as I awaited the chance to use these very words......  "Long time listener, first time caller"!  I hear that on every damn show and always wanted to say it and I finally got to.  I did add the disclaimer that it was not true that it was the first time that I heard the show, yeah, right back to that honest thing again!  I am going to call in again next week and have a bit of fun with these fine southern folk!  So if you get a chance, you have got to check these guys out, trust me, YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!  Just remember in a few years, when you are still listening, that your friend, your pal, Jack Shit turned you on to Garage Seventy One!  So click on this link that I'm going to post and do yourself a favor and check this shit out!


Garage Seventy One

I can't get over it.  I am blown away with the entire concept of this shit now!  A few friends have already forwarded me links to other shows that are their favorites.  If you have some, send them my way.  I don't even know where to begin to look for this shit!  So check out the station or the show, hell, I'm not even sure what to call it, just go ahead and do it, you will love it as much as I do!  For many of you who are stuck in the middle of ice cold and snowy winter, it is a great way to feel the warmth of riding again and have the crackle of the campfire play in your head as you listen.

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,

and The Man off your ASS!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit

One degree? One God Damn Degree?

Shed Party!

At this point, very little to say except thank you to everyone who made this one of the most memorable trips of my life!  At this point, I can't put in to words or express the gratitude that I have... 

AT THIS POINT!  Soon though, I will, I just need to marinate in it for a bit!

Thank you all again!  

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and the Man off your ASS!

...........and oh yeah, I once again have gained much respect for you fine folks who have to live in this kind of weather!  I'd forgotten how bad this shit is!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

This Ain't No Crack House! Not yet anyway!

Well for those of you who love to follow the homes that we come across and fix up and flip, then this one will be of particular interest to you. First I took you on the journey of the home in Phoenix that was just a total shit hole that we turned in to a gorgeous home to raise a family, diving pool and all.

Then you guys may remember the home that had been gutted and every thing stolen from it. When I say EVERYTHING stolen, I mean EVERYTHING. They took the old electrical lines because they were made of copper, they took the old plumbing because that was made of copper, the furnace, the a/c, the windows and yes, they even took the pool. Ring a bell now?

Well this time we are not fixing and flipping, nor have we found our client a crack house to fix up and move in. This time, we weren't even looking to sell anyone a house and they weren't looking to buy a house. Our friends had come down for the holidays and they own a home here in AZ that they have used for the last few years as a getaway and their spring trip down to ride during our traditional ANTI- ARIZONA Bike Week time. They also came down to get that home ready to go on the market. Diane listed the house for sale and I've got to tell you, it is a beautiful home. We wanted to take them around, look at 10 houses or so and give them an idea of what is on the market for the money that they want to spend. With this market here in AZ and all the foreclosures over the past few years, home values and the the deals are like nothing you have ever seen. Imagine getting a million dollar or million and a half dollar home for less than a third of its value? Well that is how it is here these days. If you have ever wanted to own a vacation home or an investment property in the Southwest, NOW IS THE TIME. So the next to last home that we looked at on this day stunned us to say the very least! As we pulled up to it, I looked at Diane and she at I and at the same time, we each said and I quote, "holy fucking shit". The value of this home, compared to the asking price was incredible. We left, looked at another home and then went to dinner but none of us could stop thinking and talking about this home. A few days later, an hour before they had to catch their flight home, we went back and looked at it again. When we arrived, the front of the home was lined up with Range Rovers and the driveway had a Range Rover and an Escalade parked in it. Ut oh, they are going to buy it and we will not be able to get it. Now it went from a warm thought of owning the home to these sons a bitches are going to buy our home!!! Well Diane and I were not about to let that happen, if our friends want this house, by damn they are going to get it, so we jumped in to action...... NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT IS NOW THEIR HOME! So check it out.

Once they allow all the dirty ass bikers they hang out with to start coming to the new home, with any luck, we can turn this one in to a crack house!




Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

MELTDOWN! Sick Cop loses his mind!

Yet another post from the Protect and Serve files!  Holy Sweet Baby Jesus, can you imagine getting pulled over by this lunatic?  I've seen cops do and say some nutty shit before but this guy takes the cake.  I think at one point as he was walking back to the car he may have been crying...  I HAVE TO ASK?  WHAT THE HELL EVER HAPPENED TO THE PSYCH EXAM?

CROSS YOUR FINGERS

Well there sure as hell ain't much else to say about the video below other than, well, it speaks for itself. Hands down, one of the highlights of my riding life. I wrote about riding this beauty the other day and I had gotten some messages about folks wanting to get a better look at her. I forgot that I even shot this and just found it on the camera. For you antique iron guys like me, I hope you enjoy. For those of you who believe that these old bikes can't be ridden, you could not be more wrong!

Thanks Brother Mario!




Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass.

Your friend,
Jack Shit

No Bullshit, This Video May Save Your ASS!

This is no bullshit, this may literally save your life one day! THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE is what we are brought up to believe. Always tell the truth and nothing bad can happen to you. Well let me tell you something from someone who knows what it's like to get wrongfully caught up in the system because of a crooked cop who has devoted himself to sending you away for the rest of your natural life. All the truth will do is give a crooked cop or a dirty prosecutor the hurdles that they need to jump over to send you away forever!

I've posted this up on FaceBook and I've posted this on an old Blog way back in the day that I use to drop in and "guest" write a piece for now and again. This could quite possibly be the most important video that you or your loved ones have ever seen. I implore you that you watch all of it! I implore you that you watch this with your kids, your parents, your friends and anyone who matters to you even a tiny little bit. Oh that can never happen to me, right? You have no idea my friends, you have no idea what this can do to your life. Getting caught up in the legal system and being an innocent person does not mean a damn thing to the person bringing the charges or looking to "solve" a case! You see all the videos that have made their way on to the net these days of vicious cops beating people for no reason or even worse yet, the cop who believes with all his heart that YOU ARE THE ONE and he is wrong but will spend every waking moment of his life to end yours! Yes, it happens. Until you've seen your life savings taken away by your defense attorneys and then if you are lucky by the grace of God Almighty, a jury of people who are too stupid to not get out of jury duty will decide your fate and find you innocent, you will never know the pain and the heartache this can cause! If you are found not guilty and notice that I didn't say innocent, you are never found to be innocent, just NOT GUILTY, there is nothing you can do because the cops and the prosecutors are immune from prosecution and law suits themselves.

If you don't believe me, or you don't believe what you see in this video, that at the end by the way is confirmed to be DEAD ACCURATE by the Detective who is supposed to argue THE OTHER SIDE of the debate, then I say just do a search for WM3 or The West Memphis 3! These three boys, 16, 17 and 18 years old I believe have just been released after 20 years in prison, one, Damien Echols sentenced TO DIE BY LETHAL INJECTION all based on TALKING TO THE POLICE and believing that ALL THEY HAD TO DO WAS TELL THE TRUTH! It is one of the worse cases of police and prosecutor gross misconduct that I have ever seen or heard of! After 20 years of Rock Stars, Country Stars, Huge Hollywood Stars, tens of thousands of people around the world screaming for justice and millions of dollars donated to the FINEST LAWYERS MONEY CAN BUY and DNA evidence, they didn't even get released as either Not Guilty nor Innocent. Ask yourself, when I'm wrongfully convicted of a crime, will these people be there for 20 years to fight to free me? NO, THEY SURE AS HELL WILL NOT!

AGAIN, I BEG YOU, WATCH THIS ENTIRE VIDEO! SHARE THIS VIDEO WITH EVERYONE! WE AS AMERICANS HAVE THESE RIGHTS FOR THIS VERY REASON! We've had soldiers by the tens of thousands die to protect these rights, don't just wave them or give them up without even knowing it!
We have the right to remain silent, THE RIGHT, to remain silent.... I plead with you to use it!




Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back,
The Man off your Ass
and by all means, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Your friend,
Jack Shit