The end of decent literature!

If the event that has just taken place had happened a few thousand years ago, one might surmise that this is what wiped the Mayan people off of planet earth.  Fast forward a few thousand years and one could reasonably draw the conclusion that this is the cause for "global climate change" if in fact it really even exists.  This release had to be timed to come after the holidays so that they would not be ruined for children and adults alike for all time.  What was this event?  What was released upon the world to create such chaos and fear?

Probably not what you were thinking right?  Many of you know George for different reasons like, his world famous motorcycle, the Leaky Latowski, his mind blowing original oil paintings, his warm and fuzzy personality perhaps or for most it is George's writing that sets him galaxies apart from the relatively normal folks in society.  Hell, it distances him from the lunatics of the world who read his writing and say "that fucker is nuts"!  Many, like myself actually got to meet and know George having never read a single word that he has written, only finding out later that he was even a writer with a huge loyal following.  Once you find out that George is a writer and you get your first taste of his personal brand of ______________,  you can't seem to get enough.  You've got to be asking why there is a blank space there?  I don't know what to call what he does and I would hate to even attempt to label it, so I leave it up to you to do that.  The thing I have heard from people once they have found his writing is how much they would have loved to have been able to read his earlier work.  Here is that chance.  George always said that his writing, his monthly column in The Horse Back Street Choppers was at best, good for taking a dump and at the very best, two dumps.  There is something special that comes from being the person who is responsible for giving the world great bowel movements and she should be very proud of that!

If you go to this fucking page right here, you can order your book now!  The name of the page is AMERICAN MOTHERFUCKER . COM and I could not imagine a more accurate name for a website for George.  If you order now, not only will you get the first run, first edition of this book but you will get your book signed by the man himself.  Who knows, knowing GTP, you never know what he will sign his name in?  Will it be 50 wt motor oil?  Will it be feces?  Maybe he will sign your book in blood?  The odds are that it will be plain ol' ink but hey, you just never know!  If you've never had the chance to enjoy the ramblings of this great American artist now is your shot!  Get them while the getting is good!  Tell him when ya order that your pal Jack Shit sent ya and you will get absolutely nothing extra for doing it!!!!  While you are on the site, check out his amazing work on canvas in oil and hell, buy some of that shit too!  There is only so much Dinty Moore beef stew that one man can eat before he snaps!  This book is yet another lifestyle book from the great folks at Wolfgang Publications, make sure to check them out and see the other titles they have offered to our community!

Until we see each other on the road again;

keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back and
The Man Off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

GTP LIGHTS OUR FIRE!

It's the very first time that we remember the most, isn't that what everyone always says?  You never forget your first?  Do you remember some of these milestones in your life?  The first time a chick fell for the "I'll just put the tip in" line or the first time you tried with all your heart and soul to walk in the house shit faced drunk and convince your parents that someone must have dosed you because you would never drink or the first time that your girl leaned over while you were driving and put her head in your lap or the first time you were out deep in the woods in the dead of winter at keg party and your girl and her best friend get in an argument over who gives the best head and decide that this debate must be settled right there and then?  The first time you were released from the back of a police car and the cop said, "now get the fuck out of here or next time I catch you, I'LL CALL YOUR FATHER", the first time you got the front wheel up on a motorcycle and you rode that shit out and didn't crash your buddies bike doing it or the first time you took a chance, went for it and didn't hear, WRONG HOLE, WRONG HOLE, WRONG HOLE!!!!  Ah yes, so now we are on the same page of those special times we all hold so dear in our hearts and in our memory!

Tonight was one of those special nights I won't soon forget!  It's Christmas time and I have to admit coming into the season, I was one miserable ass som bitch!  Somehow we managed to salvage the holiday and it actually turned out pretty decent.  On Christmas day, George the Painter jumped on his Leaky Latowski and rode down the mountain from Payson to come join us in our celebration of the birth of Baby Jesus.... or perhaps he took the ride because he was going bat shit crazy up there all by himself, we may never actually know the truth!  Since we were in the spirit of the day, we decided to make one of Diane's wishes come true.  We've lived in our house now for 3 years and one of the reasons we chose this house was the fact the home had two gorgeous fireplaces!  Oh the fantasies that those things inspired in us.... well 3 years have gone by and till this day, we've never lit the fireplace in our bed room or in our family room.  Well wish no more!  Today I sent GTP up on to the roof like god damned Spiderman to unblock the flue while all the neighbors wondered who that skinny prick was on my roof yelling down, it looks clear to me, but it has a bend in it!!!  Shine the flashlight up the hole!  Oh yeah, I don't think my heavily Mormon populated hood had any idea what hit them!  They must have thought the biker scum were filming another dirty movie at the house on the corner!  So we did it, we lit the fireplace for the first time ever and Diane has a big ass happy smile on her face!

If I would have had any idea that if you do what she wants and things that make her happy, she busts my balls a whole lot less and I GET REWARDED!!!  That video WILL NOT follow!

Until we see each other on the road again;

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man Off Your ASS!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit