A GREAT MEMORY IS THE BEST ANTI DEPRESSANT EVER!

Some days, no matter how good things are going in your life, no matter how good your health may be, no matter what, you still feel a little bit down.  Sometime there is just no rhyme or reason as to why you feel the way you do.  For me, all can be great but if I don't see the sun shining brightly I feel shitty.  Give me a few days with no sunshine and I am like a junkie who has gone cold turkey and is desperately in need of a fix.  Today, I NEED MY FIX!  I'm in Arizona damnit!  Where the hell is the sun?   I can remember years ago, in my first home, I was laid up post surgical and really a mess.  I had to sleep on the living room floor for a few weeks as I could barely move.  I would just lay there, feeling down and in all kinds of pain and one day I rolled over and looked up at my wall.  What began as a huge blank wall with one photo in the center had grown in to a 20 foot wide collage of blown up photos from great moments captured in time.  The longer I looked at it, the better I felt.  I could stare at each photo and I was transported back to the moment that it was captured and I could feel the happiness that I was feeling that day and you know what, it eased the pain and the sadness.  I didn't look at them and think woes me, I looked at them and thought "what a day" and I can't wait to make more memories like that!  Staring up at those photos on the wall carried me through that horrible time.  I no longer have a wall of photos like that in my home now, but I do have my lap top and a few years of incredible memories captured in split seconds of time!  I take a walk down memory lane without ever even having to stand up and it makes me feel great.  So when you feel a bit blue, grab that box of old pics, you remember those right?  Take them out, remember great times and then go out and make more!  Here are a few shots from this last year that bring back great feelings and motivate me to go out and make new friends and new memories that will carry me through other rough patches, I hope you enjoy these shots!

I got to ride an amazing journey with my dearest friends!

Nothing like taking a pic of the greatest bike lifestyle photographer on earth,

 taking a pic of you at the same time.

I got to carry a war hero's fake leg and put it someplace safe.  But forgot to tell

him exactly where I put it!  Woops!

Met my first Tuba Ho in Memphis Tenn.  I still have the

dent in my head from where that tuba whacked it!

Spent Christmas with dear friends and family in my new home.

Got to see one of my oldest friends in the world after not seeing him for 20 years

rip the roof off a joint.  Black Label Society was amazing.

I got to host one of the greatest bars on earth during the

greatest bike rally on earth.  That is my knuckle logo on the banners.

They were all over Sturgis!

A great friend did one of the sickest burnouts ever on an

incredible knucklehead at The World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon

and did it for me!  Thanks Brother Teach!

One of the highlights of my life, I had a Doobie Brother tell me,

He enjoyed my performance, can you imagine?  What a classy guy he is too!

There are times in your career where you must just keep going and going

to make sure that you have done it right!  Hours and hours of this is brutal!

Salvation Mountain, Slab City, Niland California.  One of the most

amazing labors of love I have ever witnessed.  That is a hand painted mountain!

Chopper ride down to the town too tough to die to visit brothers.

Tombstone, Arizona with our family!

What can I possibly say about this?  This one speaks for itself.  You know

ladies love outlaws!

An amazing family visit and a day spent shooting in the desert.

I won't soon forget this day.

It's not often that the family actually gets to be together.

Shot in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere,

at the Slab City Riot in California

I hope you enjoyed these photos.  These were but a few of the great memories I have been able to make

over this last year.  I could have posted hundreds of pics but there was no need.  By the time I had gone through the files to find these, they did their job and I already feel better! 

So go out, live life and make memories that will last forever.  No photo that you capture is ever stupid and may one day give you the strength to pick yourself up and carry on!  Love your life, Love your friends and whatever you have to do, LOVE YOURSELF!

UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER ON THE ROAD;

KEEP THE WIND IN YOUR FACE,

TITS IN YOUR BACK

AND THE MAN OFF YOUR ASS!

KARMA AIN'T ALWAYS A BITCH !

As you guys know, I picked up that FXRS last week.  As you guys may also know that modern bikes aren't really my style.  The problem with runin old iron is the wear and tear that it puts on them.  Running a nice day ride and putting two hundred miles on her is a good day.  Once you get going and you begin to hit in the 3 and 4 hundred mile mark on the odometer not only does your ass begin to hurt but your brain starts drifting in to the what if scenarios?  What if running hard at 85-90 mph is just more than this old girl was really ever meant to handle?  Now that I am 250 miles out in the middle of the desert, what the hell do I do if I need parts for a 64 year old bike?  Although nearly every time my old girl makes these trips loud and proud that worrisome little bug still gnaws away in the back of my brain.  Sometimes you need to hit the miles hard and make both time and distance and doing it on a knucklehead isn't the best option. 

So I got this FXRS to take over the duty of the "road bike".  A bike that I can just hop on without any real worries and go bang out 500 miles at 100 mph and still no that not only will I not be pissing blood but maybe I can even walk when I get where I am going!  The problem is that right now this particular bike is not really set up for this type of riding.  I have always been a real fan of the FXRT and P because of the fixed fairing and the tour packs.  The funny thing is that when these bikes came out nobody wanted them because they looked too much like jap bikes.  Now, good luck finding the parts for all this shit! 

That is where the title of the post comes in to play.  As you guys know from my other writings, I am always there for others, without fail.  I have never, not once in my life, fucked anyone over and I can say that with 100 percent certainty.  My family, like a great many in America these days finds ourselves fighting the good fight to survive.  The bills are big and the income at times quite small.  Add to that the insane cost of a family dealing with illness and most months there is just not an extra penny to be had.  I often ask, when is this shit going to turn around for us?  The old saying, if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have none at all seems more and more to be more than an old saying but more like my personal motto!  We have amazing Karma, good pure Karma, when will it come back around on us?  Well it appears that it may be doing just that.  Are things swinging our way?  Seems that since getting this bike, so many people have reached out to me with part after part to try and help me get the bike set up for doing some long hard miles.  I get calls like, I got this and I got that and all you have to do is come and pick it up... When I ask what they want for the parts, they just say, I didn't offer to sell them to you, I said, COME PICK THEM UP!  Then you got a guy like Roadside Marty, check out his blog, www.flatbrokecustoms.blogspot.com and check out the amazing bikes he builds.  Who calls me now nearly each day now to tell me of another part that he has found for me.  I could go on and on with stories like this that have been happening all week.  I am blown away.  All of this just so that my friends can help get me back in the wind.  Touched and humbled doesn't come nearly close to how I am feeling about this all.

I don't know if my good Karma has finally come full circle and has worked it's way back to me so I try not to question it!  But here is the way that my sick mind has grown to work over the years.  I am that guy who has gotten so screwed over, so abused by the system that I am conditioned to just expect the worst!  So now as each of these good things begin to happen for both myself and my family, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Is this a tease?  Seems that each time I take one step forward, I get pushed 3 steps back.  No matter what, I knuckle up, keep my chin down and keep on fighting, giving up is not in the cards but it does make me wonder.  Is the Universe fucking with me again.  Is it giving me a little taste of good, just so it can haul off and kick me in the balls again?  I don't know the answer to this and I guess only time will tell what it is going to be.  When I know, you will too! 

My wife asks me why I am not happy about the way things are going?  I tell her it's not that I am not happy, I am just worried that on the scale of the good that is happening to us lately, I just worry that the scale of bad that usually follows may be worse than ever!  For now, I am coming to grips with the good.  I am not a taker, I am a giver.  Nothing warms my heart more than helping  someone out or being able to give an amazing gift to someone, but to this day I find it very difficult to accept gifts and nice gestures.  For me, it is definitely better to give than receive!  But I could really get use to good things happening as long as it's not the Universe setting me up for another practical joke.....  oh well, these were just my thoughts as I sit here tonight, once again after midnight trying to figure out the meaning of life and once again finding no answers.  I guess after living through bad for so long, I am conditioned to not only expect it, but to accept it.  I believe if you don't get yourself all worked up with hope, you won't be disappointed when you don't get it!  It is nice to see things turning around, I just can't remember how to deal with good things, I am just so use to the bad!

I hope that these tough times turn around for each and every single one of us.  Keep putting up the good fight, it has to pay off in the end right?

I am honored!

I turned on my blog a short time ago just to see how it's doing.  Once I start up on something I can get a bit obsessed.  I had been told for so long by so many to start a blog.  I was afraid to, the very same way I was before I started doing stand up.  What if I do it and nobody laughs?  With the blog all I could think of was what if I write it and nobody gives a shit?  I had a new friend who works for my favorite Cycle Rag and I got a message saying how much they enjoyed my writing and I should really do it.  That was what I needed to hear.  Someone who writes and "reads" telling me that my writings were worth enough for people to want to not only read them, but share them.  That was it, I started one and I went in Blind!

I took a look at a few friends blogs and saw how they were laid out and what a blog even was.  They had followers and posts and lots and lots of page views or "hits".  I set a goal that I would write it for a year and slowly build it up.  If I could get 20 followers and 1000 page views in that first year, I would continue it.  I began the blog, I believe in the middle of December.  In the short 3 months since I began writing and sharing on this blog the stories of my life with my friends I could not believe the responses I have received.  In just 3 months I have nearly 75 fine folks following it and I am fast approaching 10,000 page views or "hits".  I am so honored and truly humbled that you guys read it and send me the most amazing messages about it.  But I must say what truly blows my mind is when I get a message saying that someone shared it with them.  Or they saw it on a facebook page linked by someone I didn't even know liked it.  I just wanted to say thank you so very much.  You guys may never know what this means to me.  If you promise to keep reading it, I promise to keep it coming at you with 100% brutal honesty!

Yesterday I posted up on facebook info from here that I just couldn't believe.  My blog has now been viewed and shared in the USA, Canada, United Kingdom, Ireland, Italy, France, Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland, Czech Republic, Philippines, Australia, India, Portugal, Spain, Vietnam, and Denmark.  When I first started it, I had a few readers in Dubai, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates and even one girl in Iran.  Soon after,  my blog was banned there and turned off.  I was so proud.  Well today when I turned it on, there were five page views from Saudi Arabia!  Maybe it's back on or some folks just got real crafty in getting it!

I also saw today in those stats and info that a dear friend of mine and Cycle Source Mags, Motorcycling's Man of the Year, the shop teacher that I only dreamed of having, the founder of Chopper Class with Mr. Baas, the one and only Kevin "Teach" Baas has signed up to follow us and check in and keep up with what's going on in Jack Shit's World.  Welcome and thank you so much Brother Teach!  I am once again honored my friend that you joined us here.

That picture above was taken on one of the best days of my life.  It was my birthday and I was hosting the festivities at the one and only world famous Broken Spoke Saloon in Sturgis for the 70th anniversary.  The day was huge, we had so much going on that even Radical Randy from Florida came in to help keep the madness under control.  Not only did we have the Easy Rider Ride In Chopper Show, but we had the winners from the girls high school chopper builders, build a bike from scratch right up on the stage in one day and fire it up.  We had contests, we had playmates of the year, music all day and night, it was great.  Mike Lichter came down and spent the day with us and told Jay Allen that he wanted to shoot some burnouts.  Jay relayed this to me and I said let me see what I can do.  It's the world famous Spoke, we can't just have any ol' burnouts.  Well both Teach and Roadside Marty crushed in the Easy Rider show with stunning bikes but they then turned them loose in the burnout pit and did INSANE ALL GEAR BURNOUTS!  They each told me in the end that they did it for me, to support me at my gig there and it touched my heart.  These guys are the definition of class!

In the few years that I have gotten to know Teach and his lovely wife Amy we have gotten to spend some good quality time together and each year I look forward to them coming to see us in Arizona again.  Since the first time I have met him, I have never heard a bad word spoken of him, the man is truly a gentleman and does it all FOR THE KIDS!   They say that a man can often be judged by the company he keeps and since meeting Teach, I was lucky enough to meet and become friends with all those he surrounds himself with and they are some of the finest people I have ever had the privilege to know.

Both Roadside Marty's FLAT BROKE CUSTOMS and Teach's blogs are over there on the right side of my page and they are both phenomenal, you will love them.  If you are in to any thing bikes you will think they are cool, if you are passionate about bikes and choppers they you just may drool.  Let em know I sent ya.

Again, for each of you who has taken the time to read this blog, thank you.  For each of you who has shared this blog, thank God for you!  Let's build this up together and please, don't ever hesitate to let me know of some cool shit to share with all of our friends.  Hope the weekend was incredible for all my friends and let's knock this thing over the 10,000 hits mark and I'll send you all .............. well, nothing really but a great big thanks!

I'm telling you, this shit really works!

So the other day I had written about always doing the right thing, at any cost and I truly try to live by it.  I also received comments about the Karma Truck backing up to my front door and unloading and I said oh yeah that day is long over due.  You get a bit disheartened sometimes no matter how much good you do.   Everyone always says that it is better to give than receive and I too believe that from the bottom of my heart but, sometimes it just feels good to be recognized or thanked. 

Now about this shit really working, here is a perfect example.  You all know about "Panda" getting killed on the bike right?  Even though I didn't know him, I still performed the memorial service to help ease the pain of some friends.  A week or so later, I volunteered my time to host the benefit to raise money for the boys he left behind.  See, doing good things right?  So while there, a friend from facebook and hell, maybe even myspace that I had never met in person walks up and introduces herself.  We had photo comments and such but never really much conversation.  Since we really never met, what did we have to talk about right?  She turned out to be really very nice in person.  As luck would have it, I got pulled away and our time was cut short.  The Microphone called!  Now this fine lady is helping another friend who lives here in Az.  He is going through a world of shit and I mean a WORLD OF SHIT!  To make a long story short on this part, the state put this poor bastard on the rack and stretched him until he nearly broke!  In this glorious process, he has damn near lost everything.  The fine lady that I mentioned earlier invited him to stay with her and gave him a roof over his head.... that's good shit to do for someone!  MORE GOOD DEEDS HAPPENING NOW!

So less than 48 hours after meeting this lovely lady I get a message.  Her ex is jammed up and is really getting it good from the system.  Like so many, he is beat down and near busted from the world we are all living in right now.  He has a bike, a good bike and he needs to get rid of it.  One friend suggested to another that they reach out to me.  "Jack Shit is asshole deep in this shit" he said, if anyone can help you get this done quick, it's him!  I got the message and took a look at a pic taken by cell phone online.  It was hard to tell how it really looked, hell, it was at least intact!  I reached out to the ex and made arrangements to check it out.  When we got there, we got to talking about all the shit going on in every one's lives.  I explained that we too had been beaten down hard over the last few years and suggested he just keep knuckling up and pushing forward.  Here is the bike that he had to sell

Imagine my surprise when I got there and saw that not only was it an FXR but a FXRSC, yeup, the ever elusive Convertible.  I was no longer interested in helping these fine folks to move a bike that had to go and find someone to take it.... it was taken!  The person was found!  Now although the paint and shiny stuff is not at all my style, THIS BITCH IS BAD!  So while bullshitting in the back yard, we negotiated a fair price for both of us.  This guy was dynamite, he knew what he had, but knew too well that it had to go and go quick, with no getting jerked around and he was a realist when it comes to what used bikes are worth.  He was such a nice guy that we decided that we would do not only a good deed for him but a great deed.  Here is another picture of the bike and then I'll tell ya.

So now it was quite hard to come up to the number he wanted and it was quite hard for him to come down to the number I wanted so we found a happy medium and the deal was done.  After just learning what my new friend was going through we put our expertise in gear and we explained to him how in a deal that he was involved in, he could make an extra, 2-3 thousand dollars and come out ahead of the game by using this little known trick.  Turns out that he didn't know and it felt great to help him find out about it!  So by him not being a dick when we came together on the price, what we taught him will put far more money in his pocket than what he came off on the price of the bike. 

See where I am going with this all?  When you do nice, good things and do right by people, maybe the universe does kick it back every now and again?  Had I not helped my friends in their desperate time of loss, I would never have been at the benefit, had I not been at the benefit I would not have met this friend in person, had she not met me in person, I would not have come up in the minds of my friends when they thought about the bike, had I not been a good friend to the friend living with her I would not have been suggested, had I not been a good person the guy with the bike would have thought me a scum bag and not made a deal with me, had he not made a deal with me I still would have told him about how to do better for himself but I may not have felt as good as I did about it!  lol... 

I always say just do the right thing and do it for just that very reason, because it is the right thing!  It is just that simple!  I will say though that it does feel really good to have something good happen back for you.  I really began to forget about what it felt like when that happened.  Don't get me wrong, I have exceptional friends that would do anything to help us anytime we asked, the thing is, we virtually never ask.  What makes this so great is that this happened and I never asked for it to......   and THAT SHIT ROCKS!  So, ya wanna see her ass?  I thought so, here you go, hope you enjoy it.

I will not say the who's who or the who did what's or why but I will just say thank you to;  Coty, Ed, Tracy, Diane, Byron, Mario and Panda, the friend I never got to have.  You each had a SIGNIFICANT SPOT in the direct line of GOOD DEEDS AND GESTURES that made this all work out for the very best.  Beginning sadly with the loss of a friend to me back on the road with a reliable scooter and putting me hard in to the wind again!  Now everyone, get out there and do some good!

 I'm telling you, it pays off in the end in more ways than one.  I guess I'll not only be seeing you on the road, but I'll be seeing you on roads much further away!

No bullshit here, this is "hands down" the best I have ever had!

Every now and again I come across a place that is a must see, a road that is a must ride, a person who is a must know, an artist who is a must check out and on the very rare occasion, a product that is a must have!  I have come across one of those products and I want to share it with you guys, my friends.  Now understand from the get go, no one is paying me to do this, there is no promise of a hand job if I say something nice, nothing like it at all, but now that I said that, I'm thinking it's not such a bad idea, anyway,  I just know when something is good and when something is shit!  Typically, if it is Shit, I say nothing!  I am not in the business of hurting people's feelings.  Oh wait, I am a stand up comic, so that may not be fully the truth.  Let's say for the most part, I am not in business of doing it and I don't normally take pleasure in it, normally!

I got mine nearly a year ago and I never ride without them, NEVER!  NO it's not a 64" front wheel, and no it's not some amazing new braking system because God knows, I don't use them because hell, I don't really even have them.  I call what I have, Suggested Retail Rear Brakes, they are not all they are cracked up to be and honestly worth less than a third of what they are valued at!  What I am talking about is something that we take for granted and just grab any old pair.  Now I know where your mind is going and again, NO, I am not now talking about TITS either.  Although now that I am a bit older and have my very own pair to play with any time I like, they are not nearly all they are cracked up to be either!  Hey, at least I don't need a bra yet or that just may be the next product I bring to you.

Last June I think it was, I was riding cross country on the Horse Magazine's Long Road.  I had planned on going for months.  I was going to ride out to New Mexico with George The Painter, Brother Porn and Jay, party with them for 2 days and then ride on off solo to Rockingham, N.C..  As the day of departure neared I started to have second thoughts about riding the Knuck all that distance at such a break neck speed, balls out if you will.  I began to count myself out on the trip.  Turns out that just prior to leaving I got hit with a huge expense and it damn near wiped us out for the month.  How do I justify then leaving for a cross country trip?  My dear friend Daryl could see the disappointment on my face and pulled me aside and said listen man, of all people on earth, it is killing me to see you down, you are there for everybody, always, without fail and now I want to be there for you!  Really, what do you mean?  He said he was going out of town for two weeks and that there would be no way for him to ride, so "just take my new bike and go man"!  Are you shitting me?  Really?  You mean rather than ride a rigid, 64 year old chopper 5k miles, you want me to ride your brandy new Bike?  Let me think for a second, okay!  This is what he gave me!

That bike was damn near brand spanking new.  I think it only had 2500 miles on it!  Some of you may not know the shape that this old scooter jockey is in, but I'll say this, it ain't the best!  5 knee surgeries, a surgically reconstructed hand and wrist and a few ruptured discs take their toll on a guy.  Not to mention my plethora of head injuries and living each day in horrible pain.  What at first felt a little like cheating, riding a bagger on a chopper ride began to feel like a stroke of mad genius!  I took him up on the offer and thought, hell, I'll get off that bike each day and feel like I've never even been on one..... boy oh boy was I mistaken there.  100+ temps matched with 100% humidity at 100 mph will take it's toll on anyone, much less a guy like me.  There were times that my hand and wrist were so bad that I could barely hold on to the bars.  By the time I got to Memphis I wasn't sure what I was going to do.  Take a day to get the feeling back in my left hand and then head back maybe, a BROKEN BITCH!  Well thanks to a new friend that didn't happen.

While sitting at the bar in Memphis, I was hanging out with the one and only Bean're.  C'mon, would you expect less?  He had met a good friend of his there, her name was Lynn.  While we were hanging out she took a look at the brace on my wrist and said "what's that all about", I explained.  She asked if it made it difficult to ride?  I began to explain, "funny you ask but yes, sometimes it does".  We talked back and forth and I began to explain what was wrong with it and how it was repaired.  I told her how bad it was and that I had even thought about turning back.  She told me not to move, that she would be right back, so I didn't.  She returned and asked me about what kind of glove I wore riding.  I don't know, I wear glove, gloves!  What do you mean?  Leather gloves, I wear leather gloves.  Well check this out she said.  She handed me what looked to be a pretty strange pair of gloves.  Different than anything I had ever seen.  Now we have all seen gloves with a pad here or some corny shit that is supposed to help you ride and they actually make it damn near impossible to even hold onto the grips.  You realize you just pissed away more money on shit gloves.  I was blown away by them.  She explained to me that her friend was an orthopedic surgeon and he too rode.  She explained in great detail about the parts of the wrist and hands that get beat up extra hard when riding and holding on to the bars.  Every part of the hand and wrist she mentioned is what was hurt and repaired on mine, what are the odds?  That's why it hurt so damn much!  I told her that I loved them and they felt great and I wished her good luck with them.  I meant it too, they felt pretty good.  She asked if I wanted a pair?  Of course I did but like I said before, cash was really tight and I was on a shoe string budget.  She said that she didn't want me to suffer any longer and she heard in my voice how much I didn't want to turn back.  She said, "TAKE THEM, THEY ARE NOW YOURS"!  Really?  Are you shitting me?  I was blown away!

I got on that bike the next morning and said to hell with it, I am just going to point the bike east and go as far as I could.  About 250 miles in to the trip that day, I all of a sudden realized, WOW, my hand don't hurt and as a matter of fact, neither does my wrist!  HOLY SHIT!  Further on and on, the miles melted away and no pain in the wrist and hand, not only was it incredible, but it was the first time ever that I rode without serious pain, EVER!  I am going to load up a pic so you guys can see these bad lil bitches!

If you click on the pic it blows up full size.  Take a close look at these.  This is not a padded glove by any stretch of the imagination.  These are designed by a specialist!

The back of the gloves are perforated so that you have amazing air flow over them.  Mine are leather on the palms and the backs but they are offered in other ways and materials as well.

Notice that the shape and placement of each pad are designed to hold on to handle bars

and help to keep an extremely tight grip.

I have ridden with these gloves on every single ride since June.  They got me from Memphis, Tenn. to Rockingham, N.C. without hand and wrist pain and without question SAVED MY TRIP!  I met some amazing people in person for the first time on that trip rather than on silly facebook or myspace.  I made business contacts on that trip that will last a life time.  I had one of the most incredible rides that I have ever experienced and none of it would have at all been possible had I not stopped in Memphis and met this dear friend of Bean's named Lynn Rowe.  I believe that the universe puts people in your path for a reason and what you do from there is up to you.  No, they don't all live up to the standards that we have set but you have to take a chance and if they don't, screw em, cut em loose, life is too short to surround yourself with assholes or leeches who suck the very life from you!  I almost said too short to surround yourself with Shit, but that would have cut me right out of all of your lives! 

So now, I want you to do us both a favor.  I want you to go to http://www.qwinerveprotector.com/ and check these things out.  They have nine, yes nine, different styles of glove just for riding.  They also make driving gloves and bicycle gloves amongst other things.  The truck drivers that I have turned on to these gloves say that they changed their lives as well.  Also, here on Facebook, you can find my friend Lynn Rowe, ask to add her as a friend and you won't regret it, this lady is first class!  I could go on and on about these gloves but the web site is really the most informative and will answer any question you have.  They have every glove in ever size from xxs to xxl, they will have a glove for you.  Don't forget to tell them that your friend Jack Shit sent ya. 

I have made it clear to Lynn just how grateful I truly am for her generosity and I want you to feel the same way towards me after you have yours.  Remember on that next ride, when you get off of your bike and your fingers still work well enough to dig out that frozen snottsickle, I want you to think of me!

All bullshit aside, check these out, they will forever change your riding for the better.  Whether you ride rigid or you are riding a big road sofa it don't matter, these things are amazing.  Thanks for checking them out and the next time I come across something amazing that has grown to mean something to me, I'll let you guys all know!

Here is the link again;  http://www.qwinerveprotector.com/

When I do GOOD, no one remembers but when I do BAD no one forgets!

.....the answer is YES if you are wondering if that is the one and only Randy Pants, one of the fighters from Choppertown Camparound!  While we are on that subject let me just say that motorcycle events in general have changed so very much in the last few years that some are barely recognizable as such.  Not Choppertown!  This is the shit, the real deal, strap what you can on your bike because you don't need any more kind of party on the side of a mountain in Arizona and it's second annual is just around the corner!  Please google that shit!  The date is earlier this year and it's during AZ Bike Week, so if you want a touch of what "riding and brotherhood" use to be about and still lives on here, then grab a tent or your sleeping bag and get your asses up there, this you will not regret!

Now on to the subject line, the title of this blog post.  Very few things in life I have found to be more true than those very words above.  This holds especially true if the evidence lends itself to show that you are a biker.  For years this really pissed me off to no end.  Why is it that you can stop your bike at an accident, smash windows to pull people out of their wrecked, gas leaking vehicles, get them away before the cars burst into flames and then go sit on the side of the road to drink some water and have one of our fine public servants, yes, they are supposed to protect and serve us, the people, come over and read you the riot act because of where your bike is parked?  Then after being accused of causing the accident, obviously because you are a scum bag biker, this fine officer notices that the registration tag on your plate expired two days prior and writes you a ticket while people are shouting for him to help out the injured, but he just continues on, checking your vin number, because the piece of shit you obviously must be, must have clearly stolen that fine piece of American Iron that you are riding.  It must be stolen of course because no one who looks like us could possibly be capable of holding down a job or better yet a career and be a productive part of society, right?  I could go on and on with stories like these that I have experienced personally or have been shared with me but I won't, I am sure you guys must get the point, right?  I have decided to go the other direction and this is why.

A few years ago I found myself in the battle of my life, fighting for my life and my freedom.  The  reason that I was  forced into this battle was the very fact alone that I was a "BIKER".  The lowest of the low, a gang member that must be swiftly and with extreme prejudice, removed from the streets for the safety of the community and the security of our nation!  I CALL BULLSHIT!  We put up the fight of our lives and although I can't really say we won, because in no uncertain terms, we DID NOT, I am free to live, to love and to learn.  The first lesson that I learned back then was that there is NO JUSTICE, in the JUSTICE SYSTEM!  The entire system is flawed if not totally fucked!  I am not going to go in to any further details of the who's, the what's or the why's all this happened, you will have to wait for the book for that one and believe me when I tell you, you will want to read this story.  What I will go into is the aftermath of it all.  I turned myself off.  I removed myself from the BIKER WORLD and I just disappeared and moved out west.  When you have a crooked cop who is on a mission to ruin your entire life and you get a chance to run, YOU RUN FAST and that is just what I did.  I was tired of being pre-judged because of the way I looked so I cut off my 16' goatee and gave locs of love a 31" pony tail for the kids with cancer.  Which for the record is the 3rd time this SCUMBAG BIKER has done this.  I slipped into the world of the CLEAN CUT for the first time since I was 13 years old.  I went from being this guy;

To being this guy; For the record I was actually a bit scruffy below from travelling cross country.  My hair was growing in and my goatee was thickening up again.

I had changed what I looked like on the outside but nothing about me had changed.  I was still the very same person on the inside.  Boy oh boy did it all change after the haircut and leaving the life.  Strangers would smile at me walking past, old ladies wouldn't clutch their purses as I passed, people stopped trying to run me off the road while on my bike and the biggest thing, no one tried to kill me anymore!  All this changed because I cut my hair and trimmed my beard?  Is the world that screwed up?  For the first year, I spoke to barely a soul.  I stopped attending toy runs, charity events or anything else for that matter.  I just slipped away.  Over time I found that there was a great big hole in my soul.  I wasn't sure what was missing? 

I slowly got back out in to society and rather than ride alone, I began to meet folks out here.  That old Knucklehead of mine is sure good at breaking the ice with like minded chopper jockeys.  The more I rode her around, the more people I met and many of those people are in my life to this day.  Had I let them keep me down or I had I given up on who I truly was, I would have missed out on so many great memories and so many amazing people!  I slowly began my return to charity events.  Diane and I rode on our first Arizona toy run and were stone, blown away by the sheer size of it.  When we reached the end point and saw hundreds of down and out kids receiving those donated toys, I damn near cried.  For the record, those donated toys were donated by us Scum Bags.... Diane was picked from the crowd to go up on to the stage and hand those toys out to these children and the strangest feeling came over me.... I was warm, I was happy, I was content and I was at ease and I hadn't been any of these things for 3 years by this time.  When we left that day I noticed that my rodeo bike that we rode there was leaking oil and you know what?  I didn't care!  We had no idea where we were because we rode in with a pack of nearly 800 bikes and now we were alone and lost and you know what?  I didn't care!  The sun was setting, we were under dressed and it was getting cold and you know what?  I didn't care!  We rode home and we each had a smile on our faces from ear to ear and right there and then I realized.....  I DO CARE!  I care about my friends, I care about my brothers, I care about my family, I care about my community, I care about homeless soldiers, I care about people who have lost homes to fires, I care about strangers who have less than I do, I JUST CARED!  After having had it beaten, quite literally beaten out of me, again, I cared!

I opened up my mind again to helping others without worrying about going to jail for it!  I once again was able to live my life without looking over my shoulder for a crooked cop who may just kill me.  Most importantly, I opened up my heart again and allowed people the opportunity to earn a place in it and you know what?  It felt amazing!  From that moment on, all I wanted to do was once again, go back to being the person that I truly am.  No more hiding under short hair and a shave.  I once again became INVOLVED in the world around me and tried to personally correct some of the wrongs that happen to people.  I gave as big as I could, I gave till it hurt.  I never once turned away anyone who came to me in need, not one single time and you know what?  It really made me feel good.  I came to the conclusion that I really didn't give a shit what people thought of me because anyone who is willing to judge someone based on their appearance was not someone I could care about what they thought nor would I allow them to ever again influence one single solitary thought.

This has all come freshly to the forefront of my thoughts because of what I did yesterday.  Rather, I should say because of what so many did yesterday.  I had written previously about "the best friend I never had", a cat named Kenny "Panda" Rohrer, a person whom I had never even met.  He was killed a few weeks ago on his bike.  The accident so bad he couldn't even have an open casket.  I had gotten a call from a dear friend who was absolutely devastated by the loss.  She asked if I would help with the memorial service.  I didn't know this man, but I did know this friend and if I could help in any tiny little way, how could I refuse?  So I did the service and it again lit a fire in my heart.  So many people hugged me, said thank you and cried on my shoulder.  After the service, I was informed about a benefit to be held to help out his 3 sons who were left without a dad, a role model or a hero and asked if I could help.  How could I say no?  Will you host it?  Of course I will.  Will you perform?  Well, I'll try to make people laugh, no promises! 

Yesterday the benefit was held and it was nothing short of incredible.  The weather, the turnout, the donations and the love shown to this family were overwhelming!  I was honored to be a part of it.  What I always assumed to be a waste of time and effort, "the bike wash", raised over 500 bucks alone for these boys.  That silly bike wash was worked nearly all day and in to the afternoon almost entirely by two ladies who broke their asses to help out.  Shit, my fat ass is exhausted after cleaning out my truck and I am sure they must have been too, but they just kept going.  They worked so hard that on several occasions they didn't even realize that one or both of their boobs had fallen out.  Now that is devotion! 

 One of the 50/50's, the big one, was won by a woman named Michelle and she promptly returned all of her winnings, there's another 500 bucks for the kids!  I don't know in the end what was raised for these boys and it's really none of our business.  I know that not only were they left a bit more financially secure, but they got to see the love, the honor and respect that people had for their dad!  Kenny did a lot of bad things, made some mistakes, hell, we all do.  But more importantly he did so many more GOOD THINGS....  There is a big hole in this Universe that needs to be filled, I hope we each step up a bit more and try to fill that void!

In closing, I have come to the conclusion that I don't give a shit if you remember the good that I do and I don't care if you ever forget the bad that I have "allegedly of course" done, I am good with me and I am surrounded by people who love me, are loyal to me and respect me and I need nothing more.  In the end, remember that it is better to be judged by 12 than to be carried by 6!  Do whatever you must to remain true to the person that you are.  As I walked out to my bike last night before knowing how the day would end, I wondered if Kenny would have enjoyed the day and I looked up and saw this;

Right then and there, I knew in my heart that not only would he have enjoyed it, but in fact he DID ENJOY IT, because he gave us this gorgeous day and ended it with this spectacular sky!

Long may we all run!

UNTIL WE ALL MEET AGAIN ON THE ROAD,

KEEP THE WIND IN YOUR FACE

TITS IN YOUR BACK

AND THE MAN OFF YOUR ASS!

Ride Safe and Ride Free my friends!

I didn't take many pics yesterday because I was a busy lil beaver, but I captured a few so I thought I would just add them here in the end, no explanation, just a few shots. 

 

ACTIONS SPEAK MUCH LOUDER THAN WORDS

More often than not, life's not too bad for us all.  As many of you now are just getting to know Jack Shit and once you do, no one can ever again tell you that you DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT, may not know that I have been through some heavy shit in my life.  At times a brutal childhood, through the years, hard work and even harder living have left me living each and every day in agonizing pain.  Some days are so bad it's difficult to stand or walk, other days you would never know anything is wrong with me.  As you know by now my wife is battling Multiple Sclerosis and putting up one incredible fight!  Rather than sit on the couch side by side and cry woes me, woes me, we have one thought that we live by and gauge every single bad thing that happens to us in our lives.... it's simple..... SOMEONE HAS ALWAYS GOT IT WORSE THAN WE DO!  Knowing that no matter how bad a day we are having, it could be SO MUCH WORSE!  Armed with that knowledge it is hard to feel bad for yourself.  I want you to all think about this as we each face so much hardship these days.  Loss of jobs, hell, loss of careers! Pensions gone because some asshole on Wall Street was playing craps with all of our lives.  So many of us face losing our homes or are just barely getting through each month.  I have heard people say, well we had to get rid of our big house and now we live in this tiny shit hole.....TINY SHIT HOLE?  We have American Soldiers living in FUCKING CARDBOARD BOXES!  Compare that to your tiny shit hole, you at least have a place to call a shit hole!

Someone always has it worse than you do!  When I am at my lowest and believe me, I get low!  You folks I am sure have heard the phrase, Tears of a Clown?  That's what life is like inside my twisted brain.  I raise myself up by helping someone else.  It doesn't matter if I walk across the street and help the old guy pick up branches that broke off of his tree from the last storm, or diving into a bar fight to help protect someone who does not deserve what is happening to them.  I have foolishly done this on more than one occasion and the results are never really good no matter how the fight turns out!  The good that comes from helping someone for me is damn near immeasurable.  It honestly makes me feel high!  When you stop or don't do something that seems virtually insignificant to you, may be lifting the proverbial weight of that final straw that may just break that camel's back.  There is only so much a person can handle. 

We see these stories on the news or hear them from friends about folks who have taken their own lives.  You hear just a tiny bit of what they were going through and we tend to call them weak for doing it.  Yet we know not what demons they carry around, what past mis-deeds torture their very souls or what gives them such overwhelming sadness that they give up completely, they have the will to fight no more.   We all suffer or hurt from something and it sure feels good when a friend lends a hand but it is damn near mind blowing when a complete stranger does it.

As you guys have come to know, not only do I write, but I am a comedian, yes, a professional comedian (that means I get paid for it) and I too am an emcee.  I get compensated pretty damn well for coming to an event, taking over and making damn sure that every single person leaves there feeling like they just had the best time ever and can't wait to come back again and make it even better!  Tomorrow, I will be hosting an event that although we want people to feel like it was a great event but we need them to remember why they are there.  SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE.  Two weeks ago or so, I wrote a few blogs about a guy named Panda, who we lost in a terrible bike accident, as if there were any other kind.  Well this is someone who lived by this very credo, HELP SOMEONE IN NEED!  This amazing man left behind a devastated group of friends but more so, he left behind his boys.  Now not only have they lost their dad, but they also lost their provider, their role model, their hero and their best friend.  Tomorrow I will be able to forget how much it hurts when I first stand up in the morning.  Tomorrow I will forget how much my back hurts from standing for 12 hours, tomorrow I will forget all that is bad and wrong in my life because tomorrow I will help a family desperately in need of love, help and support. 

Yes, tomorrow I will volunteer my service, my skills and my heart.  I will not be paid but I will be compensated tremendously!  Take a moment from your hectic life and just do something good for someone else, you will be blown away at how it makes you feel.  I mean shit folks, stop and help someone with a flat, give someone thirsty a bottle of water, JUST DO SOMETHING!

I don't ever want to sound like I am preaching to anyone, ever!  I won't do it, it's not my style.  I am just sharing with you, my friends, what helps to get me through my bad days and I swear to you that it works, just give it a try.  SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE THAN YOU DO and that is a fact my friends.

Rise out of your own personal hell by doing something heavenly!  Pay this shit forward and this world that is racing out of control may just slow it's pace and once again, over time get back to the things that matter most, friendship, family, honor, trust and most importantly, RESPECT!

Please don't get me wrong, I AM IN NO WAY A SAINT.... I may do this all for purely selfish reasons.  They say what you put out in the Universe comes back on you.  That you keep positive Karma and it comes back on you.  You do good and it comes back 10 fold....  Well, WE ARE WAITING!  I am not greedy, I don't need 10 fold, I would however like to see some of this start coming back at EVEN MONEY, I am cool with that.  I love to do good things, but we are long overdue for some good to happen to us.  So we just keep pushing forward and staying positive, one day, we will be rewarded!  Hell, I should have died a few times over already, maybe I've already been paid and I'm just paying that back, who knows?

HEY, IT WORKS FOR ME!

Jack Shit!

Shit Shirts are coming !

EVEN GARY COLEMAN LOVED HIS!  I just wanted to say thank you all so very much.  I can't begin to tell you how much it warms my heart to see someone wearing one of these shirts so proudly.  At the end of last week I announced on facebook that I have caved in and was placing a new order for shirts and that I was sorry that it took so very long to place a new order.  I was beginning to get threats like, "if I don't get a Jack Shit shirt soon, I am coming to Arizona and taking yours"!  Well, I only have one and I love mine, so out of pure fear, I am placing an order.  I had intended on placing the order on Monday but since I put up the post about ordering them, you guys have just blown up my mailbox with orders.  I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!  Truly, from the bottom of my heart.

For the longest time, I just sold them, took a pic with each person for the album and went on my way.  I really never told anyone what I did with the money from the proceeds.  Well one night, exhausted on facebook, I let it slip and the cat was out of the bag.  Once people found out what I did with the cash the orders sky rocketed.  For those of you who don't know, I'll tell ya now. 

My angel of a wife is just coming into her 11th year fighting her battle with Multiple Sclerosis and it is a battle that I would not wish on my enemies.  It is a slowly progressing disease that just eats away at your body and leaves very little left in the end.  It is what is known as an Auto Immune Disease, which in simple terms means that the disease causes her own body to attack her own body.  Her immune system is constantly at war with the rest of her body.  It is fighting to the death an enemy that doesn't really exist.  As in any war, there are many scars left and that is in fact what Sclerosis means, SCARS, Multiple SCARS.... 

As you may imagine, the costs of the meds and other treatments are crushing.   Right around the nine year mark of her having MS, we were trying to figure out why we had no money left.  We had moved to Az. with a couple hundred grand in the bank, where the hell did it go?  So while sitting outside on the patio we began to add up all the money that we had spent since she was diagnosed.  Well that explained where the money went!  At the 9 year mark, we estimated that we were close to 400 thousand dollars into it!  Can you imagine?  The real kick in the balls is that we have health insurance!  Her one medicine co-pay was $1200 per month and that was her CO-PAY!  Two months per year, she had to pay in full for it.  It wasn't long after moving to Az, that her ruthless insurance company made her co-pay that began at 400 bucks a month go up to 2000 bucks per month!  It is a crime. They wanted to cut her loose but couldn't just cancel her, so they beat her down through attrition.  They would hit her for a grand a month to have insurance and then the 2000 dollar co-pay until she just gave up.  Once you have a disease like this you will never, ever get insured again.  I'm sure throughout the healthcare battle you guys heard about Pre existing conditions and such right?   Well don't be fooled!  They say that no one with one can be refused coverage.  Well of course, if you are willing to pay 2500 bucks a month, you can have insurance.  The way the system is now, is that once you go without insurance, you will never ever again be covered or even be able to purchase it!  It's twisted!  So no matter what happens in America with all this health care SHIT, it really won't help anyone who is actually sick!

So when I say thank you for buying these silly t-shirts and the patches and stickers and such, I mean it from the deepest depths of my soul.  I don't want you guys to take this as a PLEA to buy shit, but take it for what it is, genuine gratitude!  Okay, since we are being totally honest here, sometimes I take her to P.F. Chang's as well, good food means good living and she loves her some Chang's!

So this afternoon, the shirt order goes in with a final count.  If you haven't ordered one, then hurry up and order five!  Okay, just kidding, but really I'm not!  Again, thank you all and I wish you all, my friends, a very HEALTHY and HAPPY 2011 and beyond.  No matter what we all face, make sure you face it head on with dignity and perseverance, never give up the fight.  Anything worth having is worth fighting for!

So now in closing, remember the rules.... once you get your shirt, take your pic and send it to me for the album.  I have some friends that take their Shit Shirts every where they go.  They find some strange, wild or spectacular place and take pics wearing it and send them to me..... and that makes me really honored and touched and just plain happy.  So get out there with your Shit Shirt and take some damn pics!  I am truly blessed to have so many amazing friends and you all know how I cherish friendship!


Here is an example of a photo taken in a strange and magical place!  Can you top this one?  Well I guess we will see now won't we?

The Event Invite Said Shitty Art Show

...... and it didn't lie!  This weekend I was able to sneak away down to Tombstone, Arizona to help support a dear friend when he opened the doors of his Shitty Studio to the world.  The hard packed dirt of 4th Street in Tombstone has seen more blood spilled on it than many entire cities have.  Now on that very street between Toughnut and Allen Streets a new senseless tragedy has occurred!  My friend George the Painter has moved in and opened shop!  For the very first time in his career he has managed to amass an entire wall's length of GTP originals and in all in one location at the same time, it may not happen again for all of eternity.  That is because come 2012 we're all dead anyway right?  The location so amazing only a town like Tombstone could host the dirt bags, street urchin's, whack jobs and misfits that passed through the door of the studio on Saturday. 

I pulled up to the building to immediately see all kinds of no good characters milling about and a smile crept across my mouth.  Fantastic, George is getting a good turnout.  Well why wouldn't he you may be thinking?  Well for the first time in a great many years, thanks to La Nina', a wicked Mexican bitch, WINTER HIT ARIZONA!  On the rare occasion that it does, it comes like a bitch slap from God!   Just a little reminder of who's in charge.  I had to park 5 blocks away from the studio as the town was packed.  A few of the hardcore knuckled up and rode the average distance of 200 miles to this Shitty Show.  You know who you are!  Some quite frankly rode the rubber off the tires to get there. 

Like I said you see all kinds of folks walking the streets of Tombstone and nearly all of them still alive.  As I approached the studio I walked straight into Curly Bill Brocious, one of the most well known Bad Asses to ever raise holy hell here in town.  He was known for being insane fast on the draw but a notoriously bad shot so I had no choice but to grab that Smoke Wagon before he had a chance to skin it.  That's a Tombstone the Movie Reference!  Much to my surprise though, I was not the only one impressed with this fine cowboy.  One of the lovely ladies of Tombstone just could not resist, you know what they say, LADIES LOVE OUTLAWS right?

This Shitty art show wasn't looking so Shitty after all and I hadn't even made it off of the sidewalk yet.  I couldn't wait to get inside.  Once I crossed the threashold from reality to insanity I knew that George meant business and nothing but business when I saw what was hands down, the Shittiest Buffet that I have ever had the pleasure to dig into.  Maybe it wasn't Shitty enough for you, but it was certainly Shitty enough for me and it fit right into the "Theme" of the show.  Maybe I'm not being fair, you judge for yourself.

Ritz Crackers, squeeze Cheeeeze and some type of lips and assholes packaged in skin, matched wonderfully with both Pink and Blue Boone's Farm Wine.....  I told you it was Shitty!  It was perfect!

 I have had the pleasure of getting to not only see more GTP paintings than any human should but I have seen them through the process and it is an amazing sight.  But to see them all lined up against a 140 year old wall was totally surreal.  What a sight, what an accomplishment.  Although there were several portraits there, which I believe capture people like I've never seen before there were two originals, total originals and they were spectacular.  I won't post full up shots of the paintings here as that is not really for me to do, but I did manage to still capture fantastic shots for you to see.  The first original was a tribute to every American Soldier who has given the ultimate sacrifice, his life, on the battlefield and it is moving.

The next original which was not complete but a twisted masterpiece in progress was a piece aptly named

"when the Monkey shines".  I must tell you that although there is absolutely nothing graphic in the painting whatsoever, this painting is so disturbing to look at.  Comment after comment were the same, you didn't want to look at it, you consciously tried not to, but you had to look back in the corner just to make sure she hadn't jumped from the canvas and was coming to sleep over at your place for the night, truly horrifying.  There is no question that he captured the sheer lunacy of his subject.

To say that an eclectic mix attended the event would be like saying Illegal Drug Dealers are just amateur pharmacists.  It was just not entirely accurate.  He had cowboys, he had drunk pretend cowboys, he had tweakers, he had French Canadians which I personally dragged off of the street and inside and an entire gaggle of Fine Art for White Trash lovers.  The event scheduled from noon to six p.m. ended for the last of us around 4:30 a.m..  Here are just a few shots that I captured as the evening progressed and madness ensued.  I wish that I could post them all but I can't.  I have already been banned in the Middle East, don't want to get banned in the USA too.

Below is a shot of Curly Bill or as we call him Brother Porn checking out the Arizona Hwys mag that he was quoted in.  It was a special edition of 50 great weekend getaways in Arizona, I believe he is in trip number 30.  Check it out while on line at the grocery store next time.

All that I can say is this, IT AIN'T A PARTY TILL YOU ALL PLAY STRIP 9 BALL WITH A NUN!

OR.... until the girls start kissing.  Then you know that you have achieved something.

Nearing the first attempt at ending the night you could see the look of accomplishment on our faces.  We survived George the Painters first Shitty Art Show!

and of course you know it was a good time when someone finally has to pee in a garbage can.

I will say this to you my friends.  If you have never had the opportunity to check out the work in oil of this great artist and bike community treasure then make the time to do it, find a way to do it and if you have the means order a portrait while he is still considering painting them.  The weekend was fantastic, the show kick ass and the people just what you would expect from the Town Too Tough To Die!  Get on your bikes and ride on down to Tombstone.  GTP also assured me that his deal is still on for bikers.  If you ride your bike down to his studio he will give you a discount on your painting, now how can you beat that shit?  Basically getting paid to ride your bike.  When you get there, go in the door quietly or you will get screamed at, but by all means, go through that door and you make sure that you tell George that your friend JACK SHIT sent you and you read about his work at Jack Shit's World.  He will probably give you an extra hard kick in the ass!  Hey, I never claimed him to be a great humanitarian, just a great artist! 

I want to thank George the Painter for having us all down to his sacred studio and for being an exceptional friend.  You have surprised me much Grasshopper!  They say that life is art, so go live it large and create great works.  Till I see you on the road again, I am Jack Shit and I remind you to KEEP THE WIND IN YOUR FACE, TITS IN YOUR BACK AND THE MAN OFF YOUR ASS!  Live each day BIG, it may be your last!