Paying It Forward

So it's a good time to share this with you.  I mentioned this a few weeks ago and had a pretty overwhelming response, but I only did it on Face Book.  I reach a much smaller audience there than I do here.  We had come up with this idea prior to The Sturgis Rally this past August but didn't have time to implement it before the event took place, but we still have time to pull it off now!

Are you an artist, a jewelry maker, a parts designer/manufacturer, a leather worker, and engraver, a bike builder, do you pinstripe, have you developed a motorcycle related product that will change the world and you are just starting out and can't really afford to come to the MEGA rallies and rent space to become a vendor and share your work with the world?  Are you a charity or do you represent a charity and you want to get your message to the masses?  What would you do if I told you that The Broken Spoke Saloon wants to help you?  It's our time to give back!  THE BROKEN SPOKE GIVES BACK is the official position that we have taken going in to Biketoberfest in Daytona next month!  We are expecting huge crowds once again for this upcoming rally and we want to help you to become part of it.

I've met so many people throughout the years that work out of their garages, storage spaces, in tiny little sheds in the back yard and even on the dining room table trying to chase their dream and produce a final product that they can be proud to call their very own.  A great many times these folks don't make it, although their creations were amazing, very few people ever learned of them.  We want to help you show the world exactly how amazing those creations are!  How are we going to do that?  We can do this because it is our place, we can say who sets up shop on the property and who doesn't and the best part is, we can decide exactly what that costs!  What will that cost you?  You will be stunned when you find out, so it is up to you to ask the question.  Perhaps your reading this right now and are saying well I'm not one of those people you mentioned above, but, my brother is, my sister is, the fabricator who hasn't even heard of the internet yet is, well I call on you to make them aware of this opportunity we are affording them.  THE BROKEN SPOKE WANTS TO GIVE BACK!  Do you know of a veterans charity that needs to have their voice heard, now is your chance to do something to give back to the troops as well!  We are opening up our hearts and our doors to all of you.  Don't miss out on this opportunity

Now don't go thinking "ut oh, The Spoke doesn't have anybody on the property this rally" because you would be so very wrong.  We've recently done a total re-vamp on the lay out of how the property will be set up for this rally and realized that we've got some space now to do something that we've been talking about wanting to do for some time now and we are doing it!  We have builders, artists, the tattoo shop will be up and running and your favorite vendors whom you've come to know and love will once again be at The Spoke with us for this party too and before you get worried and start thinking, "Jack Shit didn't mention the bikini bike wash girls", well now I have and YES they will be back too!  We've also added a motorcycle rodeo to help keep everyone entertained and what would a bike party be without bike games?  Yes we will be hosting a huge bike show with a very special addition this year, we are also hosting a Trike Show, aptly named, Triketoberfest.  We'll be having insane contests once again that you have also come to know, love and expect and I give you my word that we are doing everything in our powers to make this the very best Biketoberfest that you have ever attended!

So the countdown is on and we have only one mission for this event and that mission is to help you dirty ol' bikers make some of the greatest memories you've ever made.

If you missed a previous post that I made last week about "only being as good as your word", you can find that post on the right side of the main page.  What was it about you ask?  It was about The Spoke keeping its promise to you, a promise that we tried to make and were not able to pull it off and now we have, the following image will serve as one hell of a good hint.

So by now you've got to be thinking to yourself, "self, this is a pretty friggin cool thing that The Spoke is doing but how do I become part of this"?  I'm going to tell you right now.  If you would like to be part of this rally and have the chance that you have never before had and may never again have, then all you need to do is contact us.  Leave a comment here with your contact info, send me an email at Jackschit@brokenspoke.com or reach out to one of our head honchos at heather@brokenspoke.com and say "hey, what do I have to do to take part in The Broken Spoke Gives Back" and you will get all the info you need!

We are going to once again throw one hellified biker party for you and we look forward to serving your every wicked need and twisted request, as allowed by law of course.  We can't break them, but we are quite talented at bending them pretty well!  As we get closer to the event, we will be dropping more and more info on you folks to further excite and entice you.  Like I said above, this is an opportunity that has never before been offered by anyone, anywhere and we are doing it because there is never the wrong time to do the right thing and we are PAYING IT FORWARD as our way of saying thank you to all the riders of the world and for those who get em up and out on the road too!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off Your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I have finally figured out exactly how to win at the bike show!

THE BEST WAY TO WIN, IS TO NOT EVEN ENTER!  AT LEAST THAT IS HOW I DO IT!

It's been forever, or well at least it seems like forever since just me and my girl hopped on the bike and just took a ride.  I had told my buddy that I would get up early, yes, me, get up early.  I know it's like telling you that I saw a unicorn while riding a lightning bolt holding my 14 inch penis in my golden fist.... IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT IT'S TRUE!  I did it!  I went to bed at 2:30 am and got up at 8:30 am and hopped right up and out of bed, it's virtually unheard of for me!  I let the dogs out, got my shit together and did it all super quiet so not to wake up the lil woman.  I took the bike out of the garage and rolled it in to it's pre trip spot on the driveway.  I noticed that Bean're was already gone, that sneaky, sneaky bastard!  I began to gather all the things I normally need to go for a ride and realized I didn't need shit, it's already 86 degrees out and spectacular!  I need sunglasses and my wallet, man I love Arizona!

I'll never just hop on the bike without saying goodbye because, hey, you never know what can happen, riding these things can be pretty dangerous and it may be my last ride.  I want that last kiss good bye.... and ya never know, I may get lucky and wake her up in the middle of one of those "special dreams" and reap the rewards.... I woke her up with my traditional "HEY SUGAR TITS, YOU AWAKE"?  No, I'm sleeping.... You want to go to the swap meet with me?  NO!  You want to take a ride on the bike with me and go to the swap meet?  YES!  Well I'm supposed to be there at 10am, it's 10:07 now, how fast can you be ready?  10:30.... and sure as shit, the time came and she was ready to go.... Why is it that every other time it takes 3 times as long?  So we hopped on the bike and took a ride to Phoenix to the Shriner's swap meet.

We pulled in to the swap meet and broke each and every single rule that they had.  Guys in orange vests would wave left and we would go right.  They would point for us to park and we would keep on going.  I rode right up and in to the swap meet and parked under virtually the one and only tree!  PERFECT!  As we rode in and parked, I looked up to see Brother Adam, Keith Cole, Elvis and Bean're not 15 feet away from us!  I got off the bike, turned off the petcock and walked over.  As I walked over Keith Cole was on his phone and said here man, listen to this message, it's about you.  ABOUT ME?  Ut oh, who did I piss off now?  On the other end leaving a message was the one and only Milwaukee Mike and he was calling from the Woodstock Swap Meet oddly enough, but he was in Wisconsin!  He had found everything that I need to make the fxr in to a full blown mile melting machine and had it all for a sick price!  Wow, what a day already.  I got my girl on the back of the bike, my friends by my side, and motorcycle parts coming my way without even having to ask!  I give him back the phone and realize that I forgot my smokes in the saddle bag.  I looked across the lot, all 20 feet of it now and I see something hanging from my bike.  What the fuck is that?  Who would walk up and have the audacity to hang something on some one's bike?  Talk about just plain rude!  I am not on the property for 5 minutes and some jerkoff is hanging shit on my bike!  As I walked towards it I started to make it out.  Is that a ribbon?  NO, can't be.... it couldn't have been Bean're getting pay back for me putting the I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, NO STRINGS ATTACHED, NO QUESTIONS ASKED NOTE IN HIS SADDLE BAG, could it?  Nah, he was standing right next to me, he couldn't have gotten over there and back that fast!  I soon found out what it was.....

This Photo was not in the original post but a friend sent it to me.  This is what I found when I walked up to the bike.  I just laughed my ass off and shook my head and thought, SO THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!

I WON!  I WON!  I WON THE PARKING LOT AWARD!  I dont' know what it is or how it got on my bike.  While I walked over to my bike, so many people were standing around it that I thought it was on fire or something.  They were taking pics and pointing to shit, I had no idea what was going on.  I guess one of those fine folks named me parking lot winner!  First time ever.  So I guess the BEST WAY to win at the BIKE SHOW is to simply NOT ENTER IT!  I just walked over, shook my head, smiled for a few pics, grabbed my smokes and walked back over to my friends laughing.  They asked what was going on over there and I simply said, I think I won a parking lot but I'm not sure?  How can this day get any better?  I got my girl, my friends and now I won a parking lot!  I wonder what I will do with it.  It is close to the airport, maybe I'll use it as a park and fly, hell, maybe I'll open up a shuttle service too!  It can't get any better than this right?  Wrong....

Within just a few minutes of being at the swap, I ran in to some more friends.  The guys from Foundry Moto were there and they were offering up some of their fine Harley parts for sale.  We all shook hands and hugged and I said how good it was to see them and they said thank you for writing such a great piece about their party.  I said well thank you for throwing such a great party, I could not write any thing but great stuff about it because it was hands down the best party that I had been to in two years.  By the way, how much is that sporty fender right there?  Why, you don't have a sporty?  NO, but I have an FXRS now and I need that fender so that I can move the tail light back to where it belongs so I can put saddle bags on it to use it as my touring bike.  Well that fender is on special today for special customers, for you Jack, it's free!  Get out of here, really?  Wow!  I was blown away.  The only thing is, the tail light on that is busted.  Oh that's okay, thank you so much.  With that, I am handed a tail light to replace it.  Really?  FXR you say, you don't happen to need stock side covers do you?  Actually, yes I do!  What kind of mirrors do you have on it?  Well actually, I don't have any mirrors, I need mirrors too.  Foundry Moto, your one stop shop!  Okay, what do I owe you guys....?  Nothing!  Are you kidding me, really?  They were dead serious, they loaded me up with parts to get me on the road for no other reason than the fact that we were friends.  That is what it's all about folks, pay it forward.....

As I walked around I said to Diane, shit, my camera is on my bike, I want to take a few pics.  So I ran back to the bike and who do I see over by it?  Joey Chopper Chamberlain and what a surprise it was.  We too shook hands and checked on what each were up to and he said, "hey, you think you can get those saddle bags home on that"?  Sure can, why, you got em with ya?  Sure do, I'll be right back, I got to go grab em.  Well I'll be right back too, meet you right here at the bike.  I ran over to Diane, gave her the camera and said I'll be right back.  Joey had gotten a set of bags for me to help me get on the road faster than waiting for the bags that I need.  Sure as shit, I go back to the bike and sitting next to it are this kick ass set of leather bags.  He gives me the once over on how they work and shakes my hand.  We had made a deal for them.  He would give me the bags and we would go have coffee, only problem is, I don't drink coffee, so I said you come over and I'll make you and your lovely wife dinner.  I still haven't gotten him to commit to that one, I think he is afraid if he comes over, BEAN'RE will do the cooking.  I assured him that it would be me, but he was still not ready to sign up for this end of the bargain! 

There was no way that I could get my treasure trove of swap meet "gifts" back home on my bike, not without my girl trying to hold on to it all on the freeway at 80 so brother Adam said he would go get the truck and load it up for us.  Thank you my friend, I'll go with you.  Don't sweat it man, I'll go get the truck, why carry it all.  I'll meet you over at the Foundry guys in a few minutes.  Done deal!  So we went back over to our friends from Foundry and being the true gentlemen that they are, they promptly offered up the most kick ass folding chair that I have ever seen for Diane to sit and get out of the now BLAZING sun!

So Adam went and got the truck, I got to get my angel out of the sun before the ride home and got to hang with my boys from Foundry for a little while longer.  The last time that I got to see them was at the party and spending quality time that night was hardly possible, so it was cool to just hang for a bit and bullshit.

As far as the swap meet goes, well, it was small, there was some cool shit there but nothing truly great and the stuff that was worth having was of course way over priced.  There was a honda elsinore 125 from 1977 that looked as if it had never been ridden and that brought back a flood of childhood memories of running from the cops.  Oh to be a kid again!  In the end though, it was truly a great day.  I got to take a bad ass chopper for a great ride with a beautiful girl on the back.  I got to enjoy a spectacular Arizona day with great friends and we talked bikes and bike shit.  I left with arms full of parts that great friends all kicked up to the cause and once again proved that bikers are truly the most generous people on earth!  I came home, cleaned up the big ass king / queen seat that I picked up when I got Diane's xs650 yesterday and ate some left over PF Changs food from the night the car broke down!  I can't say it was the perfect day, but I can say it was damn near close to it.  Once again allow me to say, no rather SCREAM, that I am blessed to have not only the greatest friends any one person can ask for, but I got a smokin hot ol' lady to share it all with! 

Till I see you on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

ACTIONS SPEAK MUCH LOUDER THAN WORDS

More often than not, life's not too bad for us all.  As many of you now are just getting to know Jack Shit and once you do, no one can ever again tell you that you DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT, may not know that I have been through some heavy shit in my life.  At times a brutal childhood, through the years, hard work and even harder living have left me living each and every day in agonizing pain.  Some days are so bad it's difficult to stand or walk, other days you would never know anything is wrong with me.  As you know by now my wife is battling Multiple Sclerosis and putting up one incredible fight!  Rather than sit on the couch side by side and cry woes me, woes me, we have one thought that we live by and gauge every single bad thing that happens to us in our lives.... it's simple..... SOMEONE HAS ALWAYS GOT IT WORSE THAN WE DO!  Knowing that no matter how bad a day we are having, it could be SO MUCH WORSE!  Armed with that knowledge it is hard to feel bad for yourself.  I want you to all think about this as we each face so much hardship these days.  Loss of jobs, hell, loss of careers! Pensions gone because some asshole on Wall Street was playing craps with all of our lives.  So many of us face losing our homes or are just barely getting through each month.  I have heard people say, well we had to get rid of our big house and now we live in this tiny shit hole.....TINY SHIT HOLE?  We have American Soldiers living in FUCKING CARDBOARD BOXES!  Compare that to your tiny shit hole, you at least have a place to call a shit hole!

Someone always has it worse than you do!  When I am at my lowest and believe me, I get low!  You folks I am sure have heard the phrase, Tears of a Clown?  That's what life is like inside my twisted brain.  I raise myself up by helping someone else.  It doesn't matter if I walk across the street and help the old guy pick up branches that broke off of his tree from the last storm, or diving into a bar fight to help protect someone who does not deserve what is happening to them.  I have foolishly done this on more than one occasion and the results are never really good no matter how the fight turns out!  The good that comes from helping someone for me is damn near immeasurable.  It honestly makes me feel high!  When you stop or don't do something that seems virtually insignificant to you, may be lifting the proverbial weight of that final straw that may just break that camel's back.  There is only so much a person can handle. 

We see these stories on the news or hear them from friends about folks who have taken their own lives.  You hear just a tiny bit of what they were going through and we tend to call them weak for doing it.  Yet we know not what demons they carry around, what past mis-deeds torture their very souls or what gives them such overwhelming sadness that they give up completely, they have the will to fight no more.   We all suffer or hurt from something and it sure feels good when a friend lends a hand but it is damn near mind blowing when a complete stranger does it.

As you guys have come to know, not only do I write, but I am a comedian, yes, a professional comedian (that means I get paid for it) and I too am an emcee.  I get compensated pretty damn well for coming to an event, taking over and making damn sure that every single person leaves there feeling like they just had the best time ever and can't wait to come back again and make it even better!  Tomorrow, I will be hosting an event that although we want people to feel like it was a great event but we need them to remember why they are there.  SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE.  Two weeks ago or so, I wrote a few blogs about a guy named Panda, who we lost in a terrible bike accident, as if there were any other kind.  Well this is someone who lived by this very credo, HELP SOMEONE IN NEED!  This amazing man left behind a devastated group of friends but more so, he left behind his boys.  Now not only have they lost their dad, but they also lost their provider, their role model, their hero and their best friend.  Tomorrow I will be able to forget how much it hurts when I first stand up in the morning.  Tomorrow I will forget how much my back hurts from standing for 12 hours, tomorrow I will forget all that is bad and wrong in my life because tomorrow I will help a family desperately in need of love, help and support. 

Yes, tomorrow I will volunteer my service, my skills and my heart.  I will not be paid but I will be compensated tremendously!  Take a moment from your hectic life and just do something good for someone else, you will be blown away at how it makes you feel.  I mean shit folks, stop and help someone with a flat, give someone thirsty a bottle of water, JUST DO SOMETHING!

I don't ever want to sound like I am preaching to anyone, ever!  I won't do it, it's not my style.  I am just sharing with you, my friends, what helps to get me through my bad days and I swear to you that it works, just give it a try.  SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE THAN YOU DO and that is a fact my friends.

Rise out of your own personal hell by doing something heavenly!  Pay this shit forward and this world that is racing out of control may just slow it's pace and once again, over time get back to the things that matter most, friendship, family, honor, trust and most importantly, RESPECT!

Please don't get me wrong, I AM IN NO WAY A SAINT.... I may do this all for purely selfish reasons.  They say what you put out in the Universe comes back on you.  That you keep positive Karma and it comes back on you.  You do good and it comes back 10 fold....  Well, WE ARE WAITING!  I am not greedy, I don't need 10 fold, I would however like to see some of this start coming back at EVEN MONEY, I am cool with that.  I love to do good things, but we are long overdue for some good to happen to us.  So we just keep pushing forward and staying positive, one day, we will be rewarded!  Hell, I should have died a few times over already, maybe I've already been paid and I'm just paying that back, who knows?

HEY, IT WORKS FOR ME!

Jack Shit!