You may want to seek forgiveness in advance!

We are now only days away from the official start of the 72nd annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and I am strangely calm.  I've been trying to rest up, save my voice as best as possible and get my shit together.  It's easy to throw a great party when it is an anniversary year at a rally such as this.  After all, Sturgis is Mecca to us bikers and each and every year anywhere between 400,000 to nearly a million people show up to party!  On the non anniversary years,  the crowds are to the lower side of that estimate and we are forced to work twice as hard to entertain you all.  As the rally ends, everyone takes a bit of time off and then the planning for the next rally begins.  Everyone at the BROKEN SPOKE has worked tirelessly this year to make this the most amazing time you've ever had in Sturgis.  When they are not expecting record numbers or MASSIVE crowds, the rallies are referred to as "soft rallies" and to me, those are my favorite.  Because we are not overrun, I get to actually spend a bit of time with my friends who've come to the Spoke to hang out!  As of this moment, I've yet to have ever even dipped a toe in to the giant pool at the Spoke.  YES, REALLY!!!  Not even a single damn toe, this year, that is going to change.  There are many things that made me fall in love with the COUNTY LINE BROKEN SPOKE SALOON but what I think did it more than anything is the actual property itself.  More than 600 acres of rolling green grass watched over by the mystical and magical Bear Butte welcome you as you arrive.  There is no way to explain the feeling that overtakes you as you enter that property.  As the event begins and you see the property that lays dormant for 11 months of the year come back to life and the mini city begin to grow from the great lawns an anticipation comes over me that is difficult to put in to words.

Last year was the very first time that I had the opportunity and the great honor of hosting the Sturgis Rally at the Campground and it was one of the highlights of my life.  Now I pulled that off not even knowing the proverbial lay of the land and now my friends, I do!  People were stunned with the shit that I pulled last year and for the first time ever, I heard a phrase repeated to me over and over again.  It caught me so off guard that I even spoke to the boss about it.  I'm use to being told, great run, great ride, great event etc, etc, etc, but a phrase that I've never heard uttered so many times, by so many different people struck my heart last year, that phrase was GREAT PARTY!  Great party man, kick ass fucking party man, best party I've ever been to and things like that.  I realized that we weren't just the host of a gathering but we were the people throwing the best party in Sturgis and that my friends fucking rocks!  With great power comes great responsibility and we've taken the responsibility of showing you all the very best time you've ever had.  Jay Allen told me the very first time that I came to work for him, "Jack, what we do here at the BROKEN SPOKEBroken Spoke is make memories" and I have never forgotten those words that he spoke to me.  He also told me when I asked him what he expected of me and that answer was just as moving, "Jack, I want you to welcome each of these people as if you were welcoming them in to your own home, these are our guests, our home is their home" and this is the philosophy that I take in to each and every single event that I'm lucky enough to do with the Broken Spoke Saloon.  Great lessons learned from a great man and I will never forget them.  So just what do we have planned for you this year at the Campground?  Well funny you ask, allow me to give you just a hint.

For the last few weeks I've been getting messages about camping from people who have never camped with us at The Spoke such as, if I get in late, will there be a place for me to camp?  I just laugh a little and explain to them that no matter what, we will always have room for anyone who shows up!  One of my favorite things and I know that it is many people's favorite thing is the fact that when you check in, you are not given a ten by ten camp spot with a number, you get your wristband, go through the gate and you are free to set up camp damn near anyplace you like, take as much room as you need or want and stake your claim!  Some like to be in the thick of things and set up camp to be the first in the pool in the morning or closest to the main bar.  Others like to set up camp down by hot rod lake and others who are huge fans of our spotless bathrooms like to set up near the bath houses and laundry rooms.  Another great thing that I love about The Spoke is that we don't ask you how many times do you think you will take a shower while you are with us and then charge you for it.  I mean fucking really folks, when is enough, enough?  Do you think you will be taking a shit each day?  Okay, well that is another 19 dollars.  I say fuck that shit!  I'm asked "Jack, how much does it cost to park a bike at The Spoke?  Here is another thing that makes me fucking nuts....  it is after all a motorcycle rally, how the fuck do you charge people to park a bike?  So the answer to that is NOTHING, we never charge to park bikes, that is just ridiculous!  The question that I've been asked most though is "what are you going to pull off this year you sick bastard"?  Well don't worry, I've got some serious debauchery planned for you twisted maniacs!  First and foremost though is the entertainment and holy good God have we got an incredible rally planned for you all!  The hardest working, best team in Sturgis has already been working for months to knock this out of the park for you guys. 

HERE IS A LINK TO ALL THINGS ENTERTAINMENT THIS YEAR.

The one and only Uncle Kracker will be blowing up the main stage.

We've also brought in one of the most rocking bands of all time that has been blowing up bike rallies again for the last few years and we are honored to have NIGHTRANGER decimating the main stage of The Spoke!

Now don't worry country music fans, we've got you covered too!  Country music superstar Joe Nichols will be joining us on the main stage in the great field of The Spoke.  If the name doesn't quite ring a bell for some of you rockers, everyone knows his hits like Tequila Makes Her Clothes Come Off!  Brothers, let me offer you some advice here even if you are not a huge fan of country music and that advice is this.....  BE THERE FOR THIS SHOW because I can only imagine the mass volume of lovely ladies who will be turned on from watching this show and looking for a bad ass on a Harley to take them for a ride afterwards!  For some reason, the ladies seem to love this guy, I've not quite put my finger on why they lose their minds over him yet, but I have a feeling I'll know soon enough.

We've also brought back a band that is one of the best live performance bands that I've ever had the pleasure to work with.  The very first time that I got to see them perform live I was stunned.  I had no idea of how many of their songs I even knew.  Very rarely at an event do I ever stop working.  When the headline band comes on, I usually run off to work on something else or prepare for when the show ends and it is once again my turn to take the mic.  The first time I was working and these guys began to play, I had no choice but to stop and just listen and enjoy the show.  THE BROKEN SPOKE SALOON is proud to announce the return of the one and only, Kentucky Head Hunters!

So I was going to throw up a whole bunch more pics and links and shit to so much more in the works for the party but it seems that Google just bitch slapped me and said that I am allowed no more space and that I have used my free quota of space up.....  damn, I thought we were over this shit already!

So allow me to just remind you that we are hosting the first annual, MISS BROKEN SPOKE CONTEST and I am telling you that right now, we have at least 25 stunning contestants lined up for this contest!  The entire property will be staffed once again by the best bar staff in the industry, our lovely ladies, our Bad Ass Marine and our own fire breathing bar tenders will all be there from open to close to serve you.  Daily contests like tricycle races, The Spoke Summer Suck Off, That's my man - I think, Honey I'm home and Swing your hose just to name a few!  The Chopping Block who joined us for the first time during Daytona Bike Week is making a triumphant return to THE SPOKE and hosting a bike show, party and hell, they even have their own bar!  The only THE POOL in Sturgis does our pool no justice whatsoever!  We are proud and humbled once again to be the host to THE WALL THAT HEALS, the rolling VietNam memorial wall.  Unless you have been in its presence, I can't begin to tell you the power that it holds.  Returning to THE SPOKE our dear friends, America's original extreme sport, The American Motordrome's WALL OF DEATH and in my opinion these guys are the hardest working team in the industry!  I could go on and on and on but I don't want you guys to have to read a novel here, I just want to let you know a few of the things we've got planned for you at the WORLD FAMOUS BROKEN SPOKE SALOON!

I can't wait to see you all again, we are going to have a blast.  If half the people who have told me that they are coming to stay with us at THE SPOKE show up, we are in for some serious shit!  So as the post of this title reads, you may want to head off to church or have a nice long talk with whatever higher power you hold dear and let them know that you are going to lose your mind and probably do some really inappropriate shit!  Do as I do and get forgiven before you even fire the bike up!  This way, you are covered.  Upon your return, if you get away with it all, throw an extra 20 in the collection plate next time it comes around, look up to the sky and throw the big man a wink!!!  You know that with his long hair and beard, Jesus would have been a biker and he'd  be rolling in on the sickest Knuckle in the universe if he weren't so busy these days!

So we are only a few days away.  For all of you who are making the pilgrimage to Mecca, be safe, have an amazing ride, stop and smell the 50 weight and start making memories right away!  All of us at The Spoke will be awaiting your arrival with ice cold beer all ready for you to suck down!

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

What have I done to deserve this?

There are days that I just can't get over how fortunate Diane and I are to be surrounded by such incredible people.  People who at a moments notice would drop everything to lend a hand when you are in need.  People who will listen to you complain even when they have their own troubles in life to deal with.  People who would give you the shirt off of their backs or the very bikes they ride from under their ass!  They say what you put out in to the world comes back.  For the longest time, we had wondered if this was true and if it was, we were patiently waiting for this to happen.  Over the last few years it has happened with gestures as small as stopping by out of the blue with my favorite desert to gestures as grand as friends giving me their motorcycles to ride when my bike was down!  Some of you may know that my trailer was stolen a few months back now and it really sucks.  I was telling a friend this story when he told me that our mutual friend, Brother Mario, yes, Dirty Sanchez, that Mario had just had his trailer stolen from the one and only Shed in Milwaukee!  I couldn't help but think to myself, why do such bad things happen to such good people?  Well Mario was here this past week for a short trip to AZ before he has to head back to Amsterdam and it was incredible to get to hang out with both him and his lovely wife Pat.  We all went out and had drinks and an unbelievable meal with another set of friends.  We laughed until we damn near cried.  Once again, as we sat there, I could not help but to think how blessed we are.

A few days later, we are on the phone and he tells me "you'll never fucking believe this, but guess what?"  What?  He gets a call from a mutual friend, the one and only Kevin "Teach" Baas.  Teach had received an email from out of the blue telling him that if he did not remove his trailer from where it was parked, that the guy would have no choice but to have it towed.  Teach said, "I don't have a trailer in Wisconsin"!  Can you describe the trailer or send me a pic so I know what you are talking about he asked the guy.  Sure enough, the guy emails him pics and it is Brother Mario's trailer, dumped on some back country road in Wisconsin.  Now why would someone go through the trouble to steal a trailer and then just leave it somewhere?  Because the trailer had this massive BAAS METALCRAFT STICKER on it and no matter how hard they tried, they could not get it off!  Painting over it would not have worked and with all the stickers it was too recognizable so they just dumped it.  That very sticker had Teach's website on it.  So the moral of the story is, BAAS METALCRAFT stickers are good luck!  So I was speaking with Teach about this the very next day and we were laughing.  He told me that I was having trouble with my knuck because it didn't have a sticker on it!  I told him that I was out of Baas stickers and not only that, but I was having a hell of a time trying to find the "CHANGE YOUR LUCK, RIDE A KNUCK" stickers.  He said he would look to see if he had one and if he did, he would send me one when he got a chance.  Today, Diane says, "are you waiting on a package from Teach?"  It took me a second and then it dawned on me.... why yes, yes I am....  I was so excited!  I tore in to that package like a kid at Christmas and boy oh boy was I surprised!  Not only did he hook me up with new Baas stickers but.......... oh hell, I'll show ya!

Now if only this package had gotten here two days ago, maybe I would not have to pull the motor out of my 65 year old Knucklehead.....  damn U.S. Postal service!!!!  So not only did he send me the "Change your luck" sticker but also a Knuckleheads Forever Sticker, an old school, Evel style HD sticker, a few Baas MC stickers but he also included a Knuck Motor Patch!  Something so silly as this envelope filled with a few trinkets if you will brought me so much joy and once again hammered home to me just how lucky I have it!  No matter how shitty things get, no matter how broke we are at times, we will always be wealthy because we have people like the ones that I mentioned in this post in our lives!  So look around you, take an inventory of your life and see what you are surrounded with.  If you are surrounded by those who just take and take and take and never give from the heart, no matter what the gesture, it may be time to reevaluate, take stock and clean house!  I do believe in karma, I do believe that what you put out comes back ten fold and I do believe in always doing the right thing at any cost!  So cherish the ones you love, give till it hurts and always trust your gut, it's usually right!

In the next week, I'll be leaving for the one and only Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and while there, I'll be blessed with getting to spend time with people that I love from all around the world and that is the biggest part of my compensation for working the event!  So if you are heading to Sturgis, make sure you come up and see me at the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon and make my day!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Troops Ordered To Kill All Americans Who Do Not Turn In Guns

At first, when I saw the headline above, the title of this post I thought "yeah, okay, sure?"  Another sensationalized story to create and spread fear among the people that would get spread around the net like a wild fire.  No matter what these posts are, I keep an open mind when I watch the video or read the story and I make an educated decision FOR MYSELF on whether I believe what is in front of me.  I didn't change the title of this post from its original story from Info Wars.  Hell, I'd never even heard of Info Wars before this.  I was never a journalism student so I hope that I've given enough credit where credit is due here.  If you believe that this is fear mongering then so be it, but when you can see the documents in front of you how can you deny it?  When you see ARMORED PERSONNEL CARRIERS rolling down the streets of your town and they do not belong to the Army National Guard on their way to training, but they belong to the local Sheriff and PD, you have got to ask, what the hell is going on and you must wonder, what the hell is in store for us?  What do the people who make the deals, the decisions and OWN OUR LIVES know that we do not?  Well the answer is in this video.  I try to never get real political with this blog or on FaceBook with my posts unless it strikes at the core of my very being or at the core of being an American!  THIS IS A DIRECT ATTACK ON OUR RIGHTS.  The rights that hundreds of thousands of Americans have died to protect since we became the once truly great nation of the United States.   I know many people will say fuck that, they will have to take my gun from my cold dead hand and you know what, you are right, that is just where it will be taken from if you do not submit!  THIS IS A MUST WATCH VIDEO, yes, the entire video.  Until we see each other on the road again,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

What a day!

I can't begin to tell you how very difficult it was to wipe the smile off of my face today.  I had some running around to do to hustle up an air tank so that I could fill up my front tire.  I was going to run it the way it was down to the gas station but I knew that I would probably pop the tube or waste the sidewall on the tire.  Luckily I found one, filled that bitch up and raced home to fill Koko with air.  I rolled her out on to the driveway and she fired on the very first kick!  She was ready to run and run she did.  To be honest, it has been at least 16 months since I've ridden her and the last time I parked her she had a God awful noise in the bottom end.  I hopped on her, threw my boy Adam's tank bag on the tank, filled with water, smokes and my phone, just in case the old girl wanted to teach me a lesson for not riding her and take a full on shit out in the desert.  Although the water came in handy at a stop light on the way home, I never had to bust out the emergency kit!  I rode her for 40 miles, damn near in circles, never getting more than 5 miles from the house in case I had to push her home.  Each time I stopped at a light, I'd look down for leaks, smoke or fire......  there was a little of everything but fire and you know what?  I didn't care!  The smell of that fresh 50 weight seeping ever so slightly out between the jugs evoked great memories of rides past.  The first five of those forty miles were horrifying to me.  The sounds that come from this old girl I had not heard in a long, long time.  Each and every single one of them sounded like something was terribly wrong with her.  With each bump in the road, with each jockey shifted change of gears they all came back to me.  The high pitched jingle on the lower right side, fuck, what is that?  Oh yeah, that is my Fabricator Kevin Brass Knuckle kicker pedal, once you hit 60 mph it taps the external oil filter.... What the hell was that?  Oh yeah, it's okay, that is the sound of the springs in the ol' springer compressing.  With each mile that passed under her tires, I could feel her coming in to her stride and each sound a familiar memory to me.  At first I didn't break 50 mph but that sure as hell didn't last long.  Last night I put 1 gallon of gas in her just in case I had to drain the tanks again.  After the first five miles, I rode her straight to the gas station and filled the tanks to the brim!  I rode her out in to the desert, parked her, running, in the middle of a traffic island and stepped back to take a look at my beautiful mistress in all her bad ass, sexy glory!  NO LEAKS worth mentioning, idling perfectly in the desert heat and ready to go.  I rode her back to the house and pulled up in front of the garage, took a few steps back and shot the photo above.  I could not get the smile off of my face!

I can't explain the joy that old bikes bring me, all of them.  To see an old knuck, pan or flattie engine even sitting on a shelf touches somewhere down deep in my soul and makes me dream of what that bike was and what it could be.  There are no ugly old bikes!  They are each beautiful and magical to me.  They all have a story to tell if only they could.  To see them going down the road makes me crazy and I chase them down, but to ride one is like nothing you have ever known.  There is just something so mystical about twisting the throttle on an antique piece of iron, stepping on the foot clutch and hand shifting through the gears and wondering what you would do if you really had to stop quickly, it is near impossible to put into words.  I stood there for a moment, just listening to her run today and thought that life is good.  No matter what the universe throws at us, no matter how hard the times, my knuck is back on the road and will bring me so much more joy!  I could not stop thinking about how proud I was to have this old girl in my garage but I was damn near 3/4's hard looking at her outside of it! 

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your Friend,
Jack Shit

Kookoo for Koko Knuck ! ! !

It's been nearly a year and a half since the last time I rode the knuckle.  I can't remember what rally I came home from but the weather had broken and it was gorgeous out.  I grabbed up the ol' lady and threw her on the back of the bike and we headed off to the annual Shriner's swap meet here in Phx.  On the ride home, I felt like the bike was lacking in its normal power and I heard a funny noise in the lower end.  The last thing I wanted to do was blow up my knuckle so I parked it.  When I had the time and the space to take a good look at her I would, very first time.  Well I'm sure many of you had said the same thing.  I'll get right around to that and never do.  My garage looks as if a bomb blew up in it and shit is everywhere.  I still have tools spread all over from the renovation work on the house.  I am horrible at losing parts when I take something apart and don't put it back together immediately, so I held off on doing anything.  Of course we ran in to some big time money troubles like so many others have in this suck ass economy and my mistress sat in a dark garage, lonely and un-ridden.  Each time that I went in to the garage to get something or to pull out another bike, I would touch the bars or the tank and tell her that I loved her and promise that one day soon, I'll be riding her again.  Well I could not take the thought of her sitting in that garage any longer. It was time for Koko to fire back to life.  Today was the day!  I didn't know what to expect, she usually makes me pay dearly for ignoring her.  Sturgis, here we come!  See you all at the Broken Spoke!

The Spoke's Spring Suck Off

In Laconia this year we hosted a few nights of oil wrestling and it was a big hit.  Each night we would auction off the right to oil down the girls.  The third night of the oil wrestling was to be our big night.  I had promoted it all day long and the crowd was hungry for some girl on girl battling.  We were all set, the pool was inflated, the oil was on hand and the crowd was jammed around the ring.  With 15 minutes before we were to start my boss came over, said "look at me, I've got something to tell you and I don't want you to get upset, I want you to fix it; the girls are not coming"!  What girls I asked?  THE WRESTLERS!  Holy shit, there is going to be a riot, what the hell do we do to entertain this crowd that is now packed to the gills?  Then the idea popped in to my head as I looked across the property in despair.  I saw the Pizza sign from our food vendor and remembered that they sold sausage and pepper sandwiches.  Holy shit, what if we just put some money on it and bring women out of the crowd to do their best simulated Suck off?  To say that it was a huge success would be to sell it short of what it was.  EVERYONE LOVED IT.  Here is a quick video clip my buddy Rodeo captured of the event!  I hope you enjoy it! 

Until we see each other on the road again,  Keep the wind in your face, tits in your back and the man off your ass!  Your pal, Jack Shit

I'm so sick of this shit!

Where does the greed end?  To fly from Arizona to Sturgis any other time of the year runs between $39 - $59 bucks each direction depending on what day you fly.  Now that is a direct flight from Mesa to Rapid City.  Those flights are going up each day as the rally gets closer.  I can understand that demand drives cost, it is the way of the world but when is enough, enough?  The round trip flight, if booked now is just under $400.  Here is the kicker now, so pay attention.  Those prices are on a small, regional carrier and it takes about 2.5 hours to fly there.  If you fly out of Phoenix, depending on what time you leave, it takes between 16 -20 hours to get to Rapid City with at least one layover, some flights two layovers and the cost is anywhere between $640 - $900!  Does this make any sense to anyone?  It takes about 16-20 hours to drive there!  Perhaps that is just what happens, the plane actually never takes off and it just follows the freeways to Rapid City. 

I had hoped that Diane would be able to join me for a few days early in the week before the rally got too busy and too intense to spend any time with her.  If she takes the less expensive flight, she is gone for 5 days and that is far too long to be away from home and work.  My niece who is moving in with us from Jersey just scored a great job here and begins on August 6th in Tempe and she has to be home for that.  This is the very reason why I try not to make plans and get excited about them as someone or something always screws them up! 

Speaking of Sturgis, check this shit out; Click on this damn link!  We've got some pretty big plans to entertain you all this year and I am looking forward to trying to bring some much needed smiles to your face!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Just Bend Over And Take It......

So today, I decided that it was time to freshen up the ol' blog.  Move some shit around, delete some pics, add some pics, you know, keep it up to date.  When I tried to delete a photo and add another to the main page, I received a bright red warning message telling me that I have exceeded my limit of storage space on Picassa.  Really I thought, WHAT THE FUCK IS PICASSA and add it to the list of things that I have taken too far as of late!  So using common sense, I went and found my account and figured if I have used up too much space for storage, I'll just delete a shit ton of pics and that will make more space and I can add one simple fucking photo!  Apparently this is not the way the world works.  So they now have me by the balls.  I would use the old traditional phrase, "they got me by the short and curly's" but since my balls are shaven it would be far from the truth and by now, you all know how I feel about the truth, it's all or nothing on this end!  Man this pisses me off, I really must admit it.  I can "purchase" more storage from Google for X number of dollars but I've yet to figure out the formula and God knows how fast I will use that shit up.  These fuckers are like dope dealers, they first give you a taste, then they get you using, followed up by getting hooked and then they got ya!  They got ya on the comeback!

Now the purpose of this post was to see if I was first off able to even make one, then to see if I could add a photo to it and sure as shit, I can.  Well then again, I've yet to try and post it, so I guess you and I will find out at the very same time.  So I have enough space left in my mysterious Picassa account to post a pic in a blog post but not enough to change a photo on SAID BLOG!  I'm as confused as a baby in a rubber nipple factory!

The photo at the top of this post was one of the mysterious pics from that damn storage account and it was taken by the one and only Uli at the Broken Spoke last year at the Rally in Sturgis.  It was shot without my knowledge from a pretty good distance as I rolled up in front of the bar to talk with GTP.  It is one of my favorite shots that I've seen of myself.  The moment that I see the photo, it takes me instantly back to the very moment that it was shot.  This is the morning after my infamous dirt track racing with the fine folks from the Wall of Death.  Here is some advice from your old pal Jack Shit;  Never get on your bike after slamming a few Jager Bombs and go flat track racing on a track that has chest high grass and has not been groomed in a year,  add that it was 4am and most importantly, NEVER, EVER, do it with a bunch of guys who have DEATH in their damn names!  It is an honest to God miracle that I did not break my neck or my nuts and believe me, I came close to breaking all three!  I awoke bruised, dirty, swollen, sore and with clumps of dry grass from my bike frame to the back of my jeans!  The bike would barely run as I rode up to the front of the bar where George the Painter was standing and he just looked at me, laughed and shook his head!  I'll never forget that night, those guys or my first Sturgis Rally hosting the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon, County Line!  I figured what the hell, this is the perfect photo to try and post with the Rally now less than 3 weeks out!

I've decided that although the FXR performed flawlessly on the ride there and back and just like an old CR 250 on the track, it is time for the Knuckle to return to Sturgis, so tomorrow, amongst all of the other things I have to do to get my ass in gear and ready for the 72nd annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, I will begin the process of getting the Knuck up and running and ready for the road!  Wish me luck.  For those of you who have never seen my pride and joy, the second love of my life, here is a pic of the ol' girl.  Keep an eye out for it when you come to the Spoke and know this; if you see that ol' red 47' Knuck, I won't be far from her!

I call this shot simply, 46', 47' 48'.  That's my Knuck on the right side of the pic.  So now as I sit here at nearly 1:30 am trying to figure this all out, I am left with two choices and they are to start completely from scratch with a brand new blog with a different host or just bend over and take it from good ol' Google.  Hell, I didn't even know Blogger was part of Google.  I would imagine that I will just bend over and take it.  The only thing that I can hope for is that our friends at Google are kind enough to spit in my ass crack before they drive balls deep in to my "special place"!  The place that I've always prided myself on as being an exit only ramp on the freeway of my body is looking like it may turn out to be an HOV lane, an express lane right from Google's cyber cock to my 43 year old virgin ass!  Well unless of course we count that drunken night when I slipped trying to climb the fence in flip flops... but hell, that is another story all together!  I hope to see as many of you as possible up in Sturgis.

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Don't miss out on this shit!

Well by the photo at the top of this post you probably already have an idea of what this is going to be about, or so you thought you did.  Read on and find out, it's not exactly what you would expect it to be.  Sure the Broken Spoke is going out of their way to once again do everything in their power to show you the greatest time you've ever had while at the rally but they got a little something else up their sleeves as well for fans, friends and followers or your dear pal Jack Shit!  I have to admit that since the very first time that I ever stepped foot on to the Spoke property, I've been treated like a gentleman and with total respect, well by the folks at the Spoke that is, there were a few drunks and "graffiti artists" that are no longer fans of mine, but who gives a flying monkey fuck about them anyway?  As you guys know, for the last few years, I've been selling the traditional I Know Jack Shit shirts at rallies and off of this very blog.  A great many of you already own them.  If you don't, there is a link on the bottom right side of this very page to order them. 

When the powers to be at the top of the Broken Spoke food chain found out that the proceeds went to help me cover the massive costs of Diane's medical bills from the MS they came up with a great idea.  They also know that I am notorious for throwing free shit out to the crowd at every single rally and they've learned of the crowd's chanting of Jack Shit - Free Shit, Jack Shit - Free Shit. 
They wanted to continue on in the spirit of giving away free shit and came up with this kick ass idea.  What if for one week, beginning tonight at midnight, for all my friends who book their camping at the WORLD FAMOUS BROKEN SPOKE SALOON right up until midnight of July 13th, everyone got a limited edition, one time only, one run print, I Know Jack Shit shirt that has never before been seen and will never again be reprinted.  I thought that was fucking awesome of them and then they stepped up the deal.  Anyone who books during that time period, a portion of their camping proceeds will also go towards helping Diane with the crazy costs of her meds.  I must say that I was stunned by this offer and humbled once again by the generosity of the Broken Spoke towards both myself and my family!  So do you guys want to see the rough run of the shirt?  Well check this shit out.  Since you guys know that I'm most notably known for my brutal honesty, I wanted the shirt to be as in your face as possible without the bosses telling me to drop dead!  George the Painter took this shot of me last year right in the Sturgis BROKEN SPOKE so it could not be more appropriate.  Well that's enough of that shit, here ya go, check out the shirt.

It is just the BROKEN SPOKE'S way of saying a very special thank you to the great many of you amazing folks who support me no matter where it is that I go and I am blown away by it!  So when you book your tent or rv space, in the notes section of the order, type in I KNOW JACK SHIT or anything JACK SHIT related and the shirts are yours!  If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.  I know some of you guys are going to flip the fuck out because you booked yesterday or two days ago or weeks ago....  just hit me up and let me see what I can do about that for ya.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your undying support, you guys never let me down and I am blessed to have you all as friends.  I've already been asked, I can't make it to Sturgis, but I want to buy that shirt..... I'M VERY SORRY BUT As of right this moment,YOU CAN'T!  This is only for the folks camping with us this rally and as I said above, it will never be reprinted again.  Any of you who know me, know that my onstage and well off stage antics for that matter could get me fired at damn near anytime so this would then fall in to the "collectors item" category!!!

If you have never been to the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon and wonder what it is like, allow me to offer you this example;

If there is anything that I can absolutely guarantee you, that is that you will have the time of your life and as Jay Allen always says, "we make memories at the Broken Spoke", some come and make some that will last a life time and get this I know Jack Shit limited edition shirt to boot!  Do me a favor if you would and share the link to this page and the link to the world famous BROKEN SPOKE SALOON

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

This is going to BE HUGE!

Ladies, this is the one!  This is not your $100 wet t contest, this is the real deal!  There are more than $11,000 in cash and prizes up for grabs.  You need to sign up right now.  A little bit nervous about entering, than grab up one or more of your smoking hot friends and enter together!  All you have to do is go right here Miss Broken Spoke, click that link and your are already half way there!

Now guys, if you know me in any way, shape or form, you know I put on one hell of a show and this one will not disappoint!  I've seen the entries that have already been approved and they are gorgeous!  So you need to hit up your girls and say "baby, it's time to go earn some money for the family", hell, look at it like going to Sturgis for the next few years for free!  If you know some other ladies that can represent, let them know about this, it's going to be an epic event!  I'll keep you all up to date as we get closer and closer to the rally, we are adding events and entertainment each and every single day.  Just wait to you see what your pal Jack Shit has in store for you guys this year in Sturgis!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Like A Tumor On the Balls of Society, I'm Back!

Jack's back bitches!  You can now stop the hate mail, the death threats and the go fuck yourself messages!  I won't abandon you again!  As you can see by the above photo, I've been a busy guy lately.  I just noticed that the very last post I made here was on April 8th and the posts prior to that were quite simply put, "dog shit!"  I didn't want the blog to just die and I was crazy busy with work and taking care of my girl so I just put up some pics, vids and random bullshit.  Those of you who have followed my writings and my life know pretty well that my angel of a wife suffers from Multiple Sclerosis and those of you who didn't know, now do.  Back in March while hosting Daytona Bike week at the Broken Spoke, Diane fell pretty ill.  Upon my return home, we immediately went to the neurologist to find out what the hell happened and he had no answers.  He gave us a list of specialists that SHE HAD TO SEE as soon as possible.  This should not be so difficult to achieve right?  WRONG!  We now pay $661 per month for insurance for Diane only and since March, the insurance company has yet to approve her visits to these doctors and it is an absolute disgrace!  I'm happy to report that her symptoms have lessened but many still lurk around these days, so we have just learned to expect the worst and pray for the best.  I'll keep you posted if and when these sick fucks allow her to actually see the doctors or allow her to have the tests that she desperately needs. As much as all this sucked the life out of me and threw a wet towel on the week, Daytona was a huge success for both myself and the Broken Spoke.  The numbers were through the roof and I was blessed to have so many people that I love come down and support me there.  I always say that the best part of what I do is getting to finally meet all of you amazing people from around the world who show up at The Spoke, a great many of you wearing your I know Jack Shit shirts.  I can't begin to describe the joy this brings me.

 The lovely lady you see in the photo above was from a small town in France and that was her old man behind us.  By the time she left The Spoke, which I might add, she was at every single day, she spoke two phrases in English, I LOVE AMERICA & I KNOW JACK SHIT!

 The Broken Spoke Saloon's own fire breathing bartender Joe Morton.  He never ceases to light up the crowd and make them go nuts!  This is one bad ass bartender and I'm proud to call him a friend.

 I had not seen these two since high school and all of a sudden they come walking up the driveway of The Spoke.  Another couple who once they arrived virtually never left.  For days, I had not eaten shit until Johnny showed up with all kinds of home made Italian Food.  I ate for days after that!

 You meet the most amazing people at The Broken Spoke.  I would share what this women does but I'm not sure it is really for me to say.  I know she reads the blog, so if you see this pic, feel free to comment on this one for everyone if you so choose.

 Truly some of the finest ladies to ever throw a leg over a bike!  The work they do is much needed in this lifestyle that we have chosen.  Thank you so very much for always supporting me at work!

 This was a proud moment for me.  These guys are combat engineers and they are the survivors of one of the worst terrorist attacks since the war in Afghanistan began and when they got home, they came damn near straight to The Broken Spoke.  We were honored to serve them, as they have served all of us!

 If you know anything about the bike community then you know everyone in this pic!  This was by far, the best night of the rally for me as so many people I love came to hang out!

 Rocking her replacement Jack Shit shirt after someone stole her other one!  Love these ladies!

 Friends old and new all came to hang with me.  You've got to love it.  True friendship recognizes neither time nor distance!

The one and only, Mr. Ricky Lewis of Rick's Cycle Parts spent a few evenings at The Spoke with me.


I've been away from this for so long now that the entire format on blogger has changed and I had to figure out how to even work this damn thing again.   Immediately after Daytona, I returned home to AZ and hosted Arizona Bike Week at the one and only Dirty Dogg Saloon in Scottsdale.  I also had the great pleasure of hosting the kick off party for AZ Bike Week at the all new HD of Scottsdale with a free concert from Brett Michaels.  I've got to admit that it didn't suck at all and in fact, although I had great plans to dislike the man, I found it impossible as he turned out to be one hell of a nice guy.  If I've told you about this already, I'm sorry but I can't remember the last thing I wrote about.

After that, I had both the horror and the privilege of writing the 15th anniversary feature for Cycle Source Magazine and I have to honestly admit that it was the most difficult piece that I've ever written as it was a big stretch from my "fire side story telling style" as it's been come to be known as.  Each and every night, I called up Chris Callen, the man behind the magazine who is in Pa., a three hour time difference and we stayed on the phone and Skype all night and he shared the entire history of the mag.  What a story it was and I was honored to have been chosen to write the tale!  If you have not had the chance to read it, grab a friends copy or reach out to Cycle Source and subscribe and I give you my word, you won't regret it.  Here is a shot of the cover of this historic issue.

In the down time that I've had very little of, I managed to get in some riding, very little work done on any of the bikes but that will be remedied soon and I've done very little writing.  What I have done is spend some much overdue time with the woman that I love.  I've still been doing events but just one off shows and events.  I got to host the anniversary of the Dirty Dogg Saloon and also the first Friday rides from HD of Scottsdale to the Dogg to party and pick the future Calender Girls for Go AZ Motorcycles, so I assure you, I am not complaining.  I also had the good fortune thanks to my friend Ron Starrantino, to spend an evening with Dee Snider!  I've got to tell you that this guy is nothing but class and was another example of the furthest thing from what I expected.  I have yet to figure out how to write the interview as it went for nearly 40 minutes.  Luckily for me, I video'd the entire interview.

For the record, it is one hell of a good read and written in a brutally honest way!  Pick this book up! 


The weeks seem to fly by and I really have no idea where the time goes.  In what seemed like the blink of an eye, I was off on a plane for my first ever trip to Laconia and the 89th anniversary of the rally there!  When I arrived, I learned to my horror that each and everything that I do to entertain rally goers was 100% illegal in New Hampshire.  For the record, that whole "Live Free Or Die" bullshit they are so proud to proclaim has got to be the biggest crock of shit that I've ever seen or heard in my 43 years!  I have never seen a more screwed up place, with more screwed up laws, EVER and that is a big statement!  I also made the huge mistake prior to Laconia of listening to the folks at my dentists office.  They assured me that having major oral surgery on the Monday before the rally would in no way affect me by the following Friday when I arrived in New Hampshire.  Along with the Live Free or Die bullshit, this was the second biggest lie I've heard in some time.  I was told that by Friday, I would never even know that I had any work done.  Well it is a month later now and it still hurts.  The real bonus came when a huge piece of broken, jagged tooth that they somehow forgot to remove from under my gum line pushed up and through and sliced in to my tongue each and every time I spoke, drank, ate or took a deep breath.  Since I was on antibiotics, I could not drink to help ease this massive pain.  After a few days, I could not take it any longer.  I drank a shot of Jager, waited 15 minutes, drank another, waited 15 minutes and then went in and got the tooth out.  It felt like I had been electrocuted as it was ripped out of my mouth!  Here, check this fucking thing out.  I had to save it so that I could show the dentist and fight the temptation to kneel on his skull and drag it down his tongue just so he knew what it felt like.

 ..... and just so you know how fucking big this piece of tooth, which I liken to a hunk of broken glass was, I took a pic of it next to something so you can have a perspective on it!  Look how sharp that fucking thing is.  One month later and I'm still using liquid lidocaine on my tongue for the pain.

As I said, Laconia was brutal hard on me.  By the third day, I had contemplated giving up and calling it quits.  There was no way I had the will to go on and nothing was stopping the pain.  That is until Sunday morning.  Allow me to take you on a quick journey.  Now because I had recently had the surgery and the pain was so bad, I was eating pain meds like M&M's.  If you have ever done this, you know the next problem that arises.  YOU CAN'T TAKE A SHIT TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!  Pain meds and constipation go hand in hand.  Finally, 6 days after surgery, totally exhausted, I'm sitting on the nasty ass toilet in our 100+ year old cabin.  I'm all alone and I feel like I'm about to pull an Elvis on the bowl and drop dead from trying to take a dump.  SPLASH!  The first tiny turd exits with a sigh of relief!  Then the second golf ball drops out!  Thank God!  All the while as this is going on, Diane is on the phone asking me a million questions about where I'm staying, how I'm feeling etc.  Finally I ask if it would be okay if I called her back as I am about to burst a vein in my brain trying to pull off this dump.  Sure she says, call me later.  The wrestling match continues and now I'm in a cage match to the death, me and my asshole in an epic battle!  I'm fighting and slowly but surely, I can feel an actual full length turd making its way to the emergency exit.  Oh yes, here it comes, it's leaving the body, it's halfway out and all of a sudden, I hear the cabin door open.  I am alone there so I have the bathroom door wide open.  I put down my copy of Cycle Source and think about leaping for the door but I have a piece of shit hangin out of my ass!  With that, I hear boots walking across the floor towards me.  That is the moment that I realized that I am being robbed and I am probably going to be murdered while sitting on the bowl trying to take a long over due dump!  As I somehow manage to such this turd back up in to my now clenching asshole, I see Diane standing in the doorway to the bathroom and it takes a few good long moments for it to sink in.  DIANE IS IN LACONIA!  She flew through the day to get to Boston, then drove through the night to get to Laconia and here she stands.  I am thrilled to see her but crushed that I have now lost this magical road block turd that had been making my life a living hell!  We are a couple who prides ourselves on surprising people with nice gestures and I could not even begin to fathom how to receive a surprise so great!  As it turns out, she had already been to The Spoke and was given an incredibly warm welcome.  I think that a great many people just thought that I was delusional and that Diane was just someone that I made up as no one had ever met her before!  Now they know I'm delusional but she does exist!

 

Those of you who know me, know that I never, ever sit while I'm working an event!  I know that if I sit, my body will think the day is over and I'll never be able to get back up.  On this rare occasion that Diane made an appearance, I had to take a break and spend some time with her.  This is one of the shiny moments of the rally for me.   My buddy, our bartender Joe, sort of snuck up on us, laid down in the grass and began snapping away as Diane and I just chilled out in front of The Spoke. 

When it came time for Diane to leave, we were all a bit upset.  The one and only Jasmine Cain was so upset that we had to hold her up to keep her from collapsing from the grief!  Well it was either that or Diane and I were trying to have our way with her..... YOU DECIDE!

Laconia was so massive for us at The Spoke that on two separate occasions we sold Budweiser out of Bud Light!  At the end of the rally, the final count of empty liquor bottles was just shy of 1900.  Those are liquor bottles, not beer bottles!  An amazing feet of drinking in a place that makes it quite difficult to drink!

 Although I was thrilled to see Diane, no one gets off easy, so we immediately put her to work!

 This was the crowd damn near each and every single night!  It was an insane, non stop rally!

 This is Laura, we call her our little Spider Monkey!  Non stop ball of insane energy.

 Nothing is quite as much fun as riding the bull.  Okay, riding the bull with 4 girls is more fun!

 Probably the first time that I've ever had to read a rib cage!

 The one and only Ms. Jasmine Cain.  Captured by my friend Rick Gerrity.

To make a long few months a bit shorter on you fine folks, I'll tell you briefly what came next.  I flew home to Az. to be home with Diane for her shot night.  It was a blessing that I was there because for the first time in a long time, she had a horrible one!  The next day was hellish as well and then by the following day I was on a plane for Pittsburgh and then in a rental car off to Johnstown, Pa..  Although the rally there was a great success for us at The Spoke and I believe for the promoters, I have to admit it was really very strange.  I had the pleasure of meeting some amazing people but sadly I met some REAL MOTHERFUCKERS as well.  I will never understand why people have to be so angry and so friggin rude to others.  I hope that it was just because we were strangers in town and next year they know in advance that we are not there to screw up their party but only give it a good ol' kick in the ass!  On one very special note, I did get to host my first ever Rat's Hole Custom Bike Show and that was a huge highlight for me.

A second major smile creator for me in Johnstown was brought to me by Budweiser.  No it did not come in the way of free beer, it was much greater than that.  Our entire staff had the great honor of sitting atop the Budweiser wagon while hooked up to the Clydesdales.  C'mon now, you have to admit, if you have ever been a Bud guy, you have had the fantasy of this!  Even Brewer the Bud Dog got pretty friendly with your old pal Jack Shit and I even scored a big wet sloppy kiss too.

While I was hanging out waiting to interview Dee Snider I also had the pleasure of meeting this dude named Star.  We were all just sitting around and bullshitting when we were introduced.  He told me that he has a shop out in California.  I laughed and told him that I had been there quite a few times in the last year but that Diane was pissed at me for it.  He asked why, so I told him the reason.  Diane loves the show Sons of Anarchy and each time I leave to go to California, she tells me "don't come home if you don't get on that show!"  We just laugh and I ride away.  So as I'm telling him this story, he laughs and says "hell man, you want to be on the show, you are on it" and walks away.  I'm thinking yeah okay man......  sure thing, I'll pack up for my trip out there when I get home!  My buddy Ron says, do you know who you were just talking to?  I said yeah, I was talking to Star.  Then he asked, "you know he is the casting director on Sons of Anarchy right?"  Uhm, NO, I DIDN'T!  So you have got to be wondering what happened right?  Did I get my chance to be on the show?  Yes I did, as a matter of fact I got two chances to be on SOA.  The first chance that I got I was off in Laconia, the second chance that I got I was off in Johnstown, Pa., so I never got to be on the show, oh well, there is always next season!

I just now returned from Orange County, California and Born Free 4 and it was nothing short of spectacular!  These guys are on to something amazing.  Once again I did the ride out before 5 am while the sun was down with a few additions to the normal crew!  As always, FXR's were a plenty.  There was only one notable difference that was unlike any of these trips before and that was that this time, Diane was with me!  We had one hell of a good weekend, saw so many people that I only get to rarely see and watched a well put together event etch its way in to the ranks of the greatest bike shows ever!  Have you ever seen a water cooled Knucklehead engine?  Have you ever seen one in a bike?  Have you ever seen two in the same place?  No?  Well I did and I was damn near speechless!

In the end, we stayed at the very same place we stayed last year.  The very place that treated us so well and earned our business again.  Here is the wrench in the spokes..... we were treated like dog shit on a shoe.  I can not get over the disgraceful way the people at Irvine Lake Campground treated the 10 of us who chose to come back again.  I can assure you, this will be the last visit to this fucking joint!

So there you have it, I'm sure that I have left out a ton of stuff over these last few months but I tried to play catch up as fast as possible.  Again I'm sorry that I dropped off the face of the earth for a bit there but hey, REAL LIFE HAPPENS every now and again and you have to go out and live it.

Next stop, THE STURGIS MOTORCYCLE RALLY and once again I'll be hosting the event at the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon, come on up and party with me!  I can guarantee you that this is going to be one hell of a year!  Keep an eye out for a very special offer coming your way from The Spoke for those of you who have not yet booked!

Until we see each other again,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit