Sometimes you just need a damn break, no matter how short it is!

So I loaded up the Pickle Sickle and kept my promise!  I had told Diane that when I returned home from Sturgis, we would hop on the bike and I would take her to California.  She has been working so very hard for so very long and has not had a break in what seems like forever!  With the pressure of constantly working and worrying about how to bring in the next buck.  When you are in Real Estate these days, it doesn't matter how great at it you are, it is a crazy fickle market and buyers are not beating down your door, you have to hunt them down and she is the great Italian Hunter!  When you are use to traveling like we always have, not taking a vacation for a while really makes you miss getting away.  So the plan was on and I have to give her credit for sticking to it.  In order to beat the heat, you must leave the Valley of the Sun by 5am at the very latest to cross the desert or you will wish you were dead!  I knew after only a few hours of sleep, waking her was going to be the most difficult part of the entire trip.  I got up nearly an hour early and at 3 am I was double checking the pack and the bike.  I told her that she had to be up and at it by 4 am, not a minute later.  I feared having to wake her!  I came back to the bedroom at 4:01 to hear the shower running and see her bouncing around, man, she really did need to get away! 

We pulled out late of course but at least we were on the road just after 5 am.  We jammed across the desert for all the Pickle Sickle was worth and even as the temps rose, not a single complaint from my girl.  We were off to Southern California to see our friends Chopper Doll, Qian, Betsy and maybe even throw a Bart in there as well, do some riding and spend at least one day being totally lazy on the beach.  Within the first 50 miles of the ride, my sciatic nerve got tweaked and no matter what I did, I could not squeeze my legs together to keep them on the floorboards.  I did all that I could do to hang on the bike!  We were about a 125 miles outside of Seal Beach and we gave a shout to C.D. and told her what was up.  "I'll fire up the spa and it will be ready when you get here"!  Now that's what I'm talking about!  We arrived after stopping at Starbucks to get Diane a monster size drink and load her up with caffeine to keep her going.  We were welcomed at her house like we had been friends for 20 years.  Within 20 minutes, I was floating like a tea bag in her spa and it literally saved my ass!  We chilled for a bit, caught up on some gossip... okay, the girls caught up on some gossip, I just listened from the jacuzzi!  Then our friend took us to this kick ass joint right on the beach for lunch!  Day one of our mini vacation was off to a great start!  By this time though, Diane was about full on running out of gas!  I had just enough time to race back to the house, grab my Pickle Sickle and head off to the I RIDE movie premier.  I arrived there with nearly 3 minutes to spare, this weekend was going perfectly!

The movie is about the Fryed Brothers Band and their lives and most importantly, about their lives behind bars.  Handlebars that is!  It was a great movie and it had a pretty damn good turnout for the Long Beach premier.  I ran in to old friends, met some new ones and we are going to work on putting on a Phoenix Premier of the movie, so I'll keep you posted on that as it moves forward.  I think my favorite part of the movie was seeing brother Miles Squire up there on the screen, healthy, happy and full of life!  Squire truly loved the Fryed Brothers Band and when you see the movie, you will see how very much.  I got to see guys like Beatnik and Kim Peterson from Biker and In the Wind magazines and friends like Will and Richard who showed up with a hard backed poster of Squire and everyone signed it.  It was a nice moment.  It was the same one that we hung up on the wall at the Broken Spoke Saloon after Squire's memorial there!

When the movie ended I walked outside to grab a smoke from my saddle bag and get some fresh air as I kept falling asleep during the movie.  Don't get me wrong, the movie was great, it's just that I was so fuckin exhausted from getting up at 3 am and riding 400 miles, then eating a big, late lunch and the theater was so cold and nice.  I get to the street and the bikes next to me are parked so damn close to mine I had to lean over from the left side of the bike to reach the right side bag.  I'm thinkin, what kind of an ass would park his bike this close?  I know that a lot of bikes were parked out front and no one wants to park across the street or around the block but what was so damned important about getting in to this spot in front of the theater?  Then common sense took over and my eyes began to work and I thought, okay, I'll give them a break this one time.  First off, the two bikes that were jammed in next to me were both FXR's and you know my new love for them but it was the paint job on the tank mostly that caused me to give them a bit of leeway!

I guess that they were running a bit late for their own movie premier and had to slip on in to any space that was available, so they put two FXR's in one spot and with the Pickle Sickle there, that made three.  How often do you get to see FXR's lined up like that?  Well, if you are me, often but not for most people.  Wait, I'll show you from another angle, this shit was tight!

It looks like I am carrying his luggage!  His bag was literally laying over the top of my saddle bag lid!  No there was not that much space available when they pulled in, it was lined with bikes!  We walked around the side street, hung out after the movie was over and I watched as everyone had a "safety meeting".  We shot some video interviews for the Squire tribute movie and then we all headed over to the Gas Lamp on Pacific Coast Hwy for the after party.  I hung out for about 45 minutes, but since Diane was not with me and this trip was all about her, I had to get back to Chopper Doll's house!  I raced there as fast as I could and got there only to realize that I wasn't missed much at all, go figure!  So being the loyal, loving man that I am, I plopped down on the couch and sat quietly while the girls watched Millionaire Matchmaker and I didn't complain not even once.  I do believe I did shout WHORE at the screen a few times....... or more even.  I know I promised to take lots of pics from this trip but looking back now, I barely took any.  We ate some Chinese food, and I passed out on the couch.  Which in the end was a lot more comfortable than the concrete sidewalk next to her garage where I had planned on staying!

Sunday came and we had originally made plans to ride on up to Hollywood and attend a benefit with the entire cast of Sons Of Anarchy.  They were helping out with a benefit for soldiers and you guys know how passionate I am on that cause!  Later we planned on heading from there over to see our friends Qian and Betsy who was luckily in town at the same time we were!  Like they say, plans are meant to be broken and that is just what we did.  We slept in and moved like 90 year olds with our depends under garments filled with shit!  We never even fired up the bikes until after 1:30 that afternoon!  Looks like Hollywood was out!  Miss Chopper Doll had us covered and took us on a gorgeous ride through some canyons and through the Cleavland National Forest or some shit.  Why anyone in California would name a national forest after Cleavland I have no fuckin idea.  Let's name something beautiful after something ugly.  Then I thought maybe it's named after President Cleavland and the same thought prevailed, yeup, still fuckin ugly!  We rode our asses off and arrived at this bad ass lil bar in the middle of nowhere called Hells Kitchen.  The concrete walls were made in the form of human skulls and the walls were cut flames.  Well, here, check it out!

We arrived dying of thirst and starving.  We got off the bike, stood in the sun which only made us even more thirsty and shot some pics.  We walked in to the bar and it was dark as hell.  Awesome, I love dark lil hole in the wall bars but this one was REALLY dark.  Then I heard the girls voices "Jack, the power is out"!  Okay, so we drink and eat outside.  Well we can't get anything to drink from the fountain because that needs power and we can't get any condiments because with the power out, the coffin can't be opened and because....... wait, DID YOU SAY THE COFFIN CAN'T BE OPENED?  That matters to us why?  Does a vampire make drinks and cook the food?  "No, we store all the condiments in the casket" the bar maid said.... oh well, that makes complete sense, where else would anyone store condiments? 

Eventually the power came back on and I could not help but go open and close the casket!  Hey, a guy needs bbq sauce!  We sat there and watched as every few minutes a bike cop took off from his little hiding spot between two trees and chased people down to give them tickets.  FUCKIN CALIFORNIA trying to make up for their budget shortfalls on the backs of their citizens!  It's a disgrace.  Needless to say, when we pulled out, we rode with a little less aggression than we did on the way in.  Especially after receiving the warnings from others in the lot that cops were both up and down the hill and they had been there all day.  Shit, did we blow right past them on the way in?  We took off and then headed down the hill and through the canyons back down to Cook's Corner to see if we could still catch the Fryed Brothers on stage.  We didn't but we did manage to catch them in the parking lot, not as good but nice anyway.  We hung out and as Diane and Chopper Doll began to look on in disgust at the drunken parents who had brought their infant baby to the bar and were speaking of how great it was to be out of prison, especially after being violated so many times by parole officers, I decided to suck down my Jack and Coke and beat a hasty retreat before they ended up back in prison for choking me to death!

You can see the devious looks on their faces here.  I knew that they were going to be up to no good so I set up he camera on the timer just to capture this moment while was face was pretty much still reasonably attractive and didn't have boot prints on the side of it yet!  The ride out of there through the canyons and then down towards the ocean absolutely rocked!  We rode out in to a southern California sunset and it was truly gorgeous.  We made it to the freeway, cut across 5 lanes of traffic to the HOV lane and until we hit the exit never once had a single car in front of us!  It could not have been more perfect.  It had gotten late and now there was no way on earth to make it up to the valley to have dinner with Qian and Betsy so I sent a text saying sorry for missing them.  I decided that since it was Diane's vacation, she had the night off and I ran over on the bike to the supermarket, picked up some shit and then came back and destroyed Chopper Doll's kitchen!  I whipped up some of my famous Rigatoni w/ vodka sauce alla Jack Shit and we had a kick ass dinner together.  Okay, so Diane was not totally off duty, when we were done, being the amazing girl she is, jumped up and cleaned the kitchen and the mess I had made of the most beautiful Viking Stove, thank God, I would not have known where to even start cleaning that shit!  We followed it up by eating cookies on the couch and watching more reality tv.  Tonight's viewing, Real Housewives Of New Jersey..... shit, I'm married to one, why the fuck do I need to watch it on tv?  But being a good man, I sat and we all made fun of these Jersey Bitches!  I have not seen that much drama in Jersey since the first party that I attended at Diane's house when we started dating!  Our host had to get up early for work and finally told us that we no longer had to sleep outside the garage on the sidewalk and if we wanted to, we could move right on in to the garage, so that was really nice!  Hey, I told you she treated us really well didn't I?  She went off to bed and Diane and I both fell asleep!  That garage was really warm and comfy.  We slept so well that we didn't even wake up until near 11am.

To the beach to the beach to the beach we go!  We hopped on the bike and rode on down to Seal Beach which for the record, I still, in three trips now have yet to see one fucking seal!  So I think there may be some bullshit going on here!  I'll keep you posted as my investigation furthers!  If you have never been to Seal Beach, you should really get over and check it out.  You may remember it from my writing about Born Free Chopper Show and the after party at Chicago Will's place.  As it turns out, he lives only two blocks from the ocean.  Main St. there is filled with great little shops and restaurant bars.  Definitely worth checking out and your ladies will thank you for it, trust me!  The beach is like the beaches that I am use to back east.  Big and beautiful and a long walk to the water.  Great sand and lots of people having a great time made the afternoon perfect.  We planted our asses down and staked a claim!

All done with our 2 slice one drink lunch special and ready to hit the beach!

The Beach had a great view.  Funny thing is, the sun was so bright that I was shooting the pier and could not see the screen on the camera so I zoomed a bit and hit the button.  I laughed afterwards when I saw this!

Sorry, just a Baywatch moment!  No Pamela though.... or CJ I think was her name.  Hell, no Carmen Electra either, just these three wannabe rockers!

Self Beach Portrait.  I was bored, Diane was working!

Even on the beach, even on vacation and even 400 miles from home and she is still on the phone working but this time she is doing it with a smile on her face!  That makes me really happy!

By the time we left, this is what the beach looked like and nope, still no damn seals!

One last shot before loading up the bike to split the beach.

We had planned to head back to Chopper Doll's house where she said we could clean up.  She was even willing to hit us with the pressure washer in the garage or our guest room as it is now being called.  We were going to roll out just prior to sunset and hit the desert in the dark as temps were still supposed to be over 100 degrees.  By 7 pm we are out the door and rolling down the road, that was the plan!  I was really worried about the heat from the engine and the pipes along with the heat from the desert and how it would affect Diane so I was pretty intent on sticking to the plan!  I guess plans are made to be broken!  As we were just finishing dinner around 8:30 at the restaurant and I had yet to pack up our shit and clean the garage, I knew we were going to be very late getting home.  Yes, we cleaned up the garage, after all, we are good house guests.  You can't stay at some one's place and not leave it clean.  Too bad we didn't have any laundry to do because the washer and dryer were right there in the garage.  It was nice too because I like to leave a light on when I sleep and all I had to do was open up the door on the dryer and there it was, night light, perfect!

So now here we are, running late and having a big dinner!  We are staying with a friend and rather than give her a gift, she is giving them to us.  What a sweetheart!  If you guys remember a few months ago, we did the necklace and bracelet giveaway.  If you ordered some I know Jack Shit shirts you were entered to win.  Well Chopper Doll was the one who donated that jewelry for our cause and I won't forget that!  You guys should check her out at lolasboutique2u.com, the stuff is gorgeous!  The bracelet and the necklace that you guys always ask me about are pieces that she made, they are so fucking cool!  Well she gave Diane the baddest necklace and made me for my birthday, the sickest wallet chain you have ever seen!  Thank you so very much Chopper Doll, you rock! 

I got all dressed up for our last meal and rocked my new Wall of Death T'shirt!  Damn I'm sexy!  Oh yeah, the girls, they sort of looked okay too.

It was a really, really long ride to the restaurant so we had to shoot some pics on the way to keep us occupied.  I wish I could have driven so that I could at least say I was driving Miss Daisy.  Next time maybe.

A little pre dinner, pre gift shot!  What a really great weekend, it sucked that it was so short! 

Diane was so happy all weekend!

Diane rocking her new necklace!  Thank you Chopper Doll!

So we chowed down like animals and shot back to the house for our middle of the night blast home!  Packed up our shit, cleaned up our socks and underwear off the garage floor and said our goodbyes!  We took off down the road and we were just getting in to the ride when this maniac pulled up next to us.  I thought this crazy California lunatic was going to shoot out the window at us or something but luckily we made it out safely.  Each time I see a white BMW I will get chills and watch my back from now on, you never know when that maniac will be back!  Our 1am arrival at home turned in to a 4 am arrival and you know what?  It didn't matter even in the least!  We both have been working our asses off and we needed the break.  Our no work rule for the trip was almost followed.  Hey, we can't be expected to stop cold turkey ya know.  So I did some work at a movie premier and Diane negotiated contracts from the beach, no harm, no foul!  I will look back on this August and have fond memories.  I knocked it right the fuck out of the park at the Broken Spoke, kept my word to my girl and took her away, made some amazing contacts and I didn't even go and talk to any of those tv guys in LA.....  hell, tv will always be there, we needed a break!

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and The Man off your ass.

Your friend,

Jack Shit

Fortitude, strength and dignity barely describe it!

The above photo was taken at 4:30 in the morning.  That is my mom, my sister, her seeing eye dog Dorothy and myself.  I had taken a late night flight and arrived only moments before she had to leave to go to the hospital to have surgery to try and beat cancer.  It's a few years now and it looks like it was a success, thank God.  I know, how can I only have pics of my mom and my sister that are a few years old in this day and age when damn near everything we own has a camera built in to it?  I have not seen them in that long.  Yes, I am a monster!  I don't know how the time goes by but somehow it does.  They still live in New Jersey and I have not been back since this emergency trip. 

As you guys know from my facebook post that some bad shit came down on my big sister yesterday.  So here is the deal and it will help you to understand a bit more and then when I tell you that I spoke to her today, she is fine and laughing you will not think that I exaggerated or am nuts!  My sister, Colleen, yes the Shit family has Irish roots, is an amazing individual.  She was born with Juvenile Diabetes and she was born in 1965.  The average life span for someone with this condition, born at that time was roughly about 25-29 years of age.  It's just the way it was back then.  The doctors would say that each day that she made it past that age was a gift.  While growing up, it was a time that you rarely ever questioned the doctor.  What the doctor said was correct and you went with it.  During her childhood we became quite use to my sister being literally at death's door and pounding on it a minimum of 2 times per year.  One was always around Christmas and the other around spring.  Don't get me wrong, there were other times and other years when it seemed that every few months, she would go in to what my mom called "insulin shock" and be rushed to the hospital at break neck speed because the orange juice or the candy didn't bring her back.  You would think that trauma like this would really screw a kid up, but it only made her a stronger, better person.

To make a REALLY long story shorter, let's jump ahead to later in her high school years.  She began to have all kinds of troubles that people with diabetes have when they are 70, not 17.  She began to have kidney trouble, she began to bleed behind her eyes, all kinds of horrible stuff.  As it turns out, that doctor nobody ever questioned had pretty much given her the wrong dosage of insulin her whole life!  Because of that, it had really taken a toll on her young body.  The blood vessels behind her eyes began to either collapse or burst.  They had given her some pain and some pressure but we had no idea at the time.  So here she is, 17 years old driving her bad ass Camaro Rally Sport, Judas Priest blaring on her 500 watt stereo rolling down the highway, lil 14 year old brother in the passenger seat smiling ear to ear feeling more cool than he had ever felt when suddenly she shot to the side of the road and pulled over!  "EVERYTHING IS RED" she said!  I laughed and said, "you are wearing rose colored glasses dumbass"!  But upon taking a second look, she had taken them off!  She would hold her hand over one eye and it would be crystal clear then the other eye and everything was like looking through a red lens!  It was not long after that it was both eyes!

Fast forward a bit and she graduates at the top of her class.  She goes off to college and is number one on the dean's list.  She was truly brilliant and an incredibly hard worker.  By the time she was 18 years old, she was a buyer for a department store back east called Bradlees.  She also began to have laser treatments to cauterize the bleeding blood vessels.  By this time, my parents had long been divorced and the only time we ever saw dad was when he would come down to take my sister for these treatments.  He always hated doctors.  If you remember an old post of mine that I wrote about him that went something like, "IF YOU NEVER GO TO THE DOCTOR, YOU WILL NEVER BE SICK".  This one day that he came down, they were sitting in the waiting room and it was standing room only.  The doctor was not in but there was a doctor covering for him.  He was way behind in his appointments!  My sister just kept saying, I don't feel good about this and that is all dad needed to hear, "let's get the hell out of here" he would say.  But my sister thought, he came all the way down here and if we leave, he would soon leave as well.  She said "no, we are here, let's just do it".  If only she had gotten up and left!  She went in to the treatment room where prior to the treatment, small injections of lidocaine would be delivered in to the retina to numb it for the laser.  A series of 3 or 4 shots each deeper than the last would numb it all the way to the core.  But the doctor was behind, he was in a rush so he pushed the needle in to her good eye, and pushed all of the lidocaine in, in one single shot.  HE MISSED THE RETINA AND GONE STRAIGHT IN TO HER EYE!  My sister felt nothing because he had numbed her but she knew something was wrong by the way the doctor screamed at the top of his lungs "NURSE"!  At the very same time, she heard my father gasp and fall back against the wall and collapse!  Now you have to understand, my father was a detective and the head of homicide for the city of Newark, New Jersey.  When he took the job, Newark had the highest crime rate on earth, it was quite an achievement.  There was nothing that he had not seen, nothing!  That is until it was his own daughter.  My sister's eye had blown up to the size of a lemon and was sticking straight out of the socket, barely hanging on by the retina!  FROM THAT MOMENT ON, my 18 year old sister would be blind!  My father blamed himself for not taking her out of the office of course!  My parents kept the doctors name from me because I was a maniac kid who wanted blood for this.  If he had just taken his time, if he had just checked where he was placing the needle, if he had just waited and done a little bit at a time like he was supposed to, but he didn't.  One month later, that doctor, under such incredible stress died from a massive heart attack and you know what?  HE GOT OFF EASY!  UNFORTUNATELY, THESE THINGS HAPPEN SOMETIMES!   That was the response from the Doctor's office, the attorneys involved and the insurance company.  She has diabetes and they would have happened eventually anyway, she never received a penny for this.

I don't know what I would have done if this was me.  At that age, I think I would have curled up and died or played the woes me card, but not her!  She just adapted.  To show her that she was no different to us, my friends and I would move the furniture around from it's normal location and then hide.  You would hear her scream as she would bang her knees or stub her toes, "Jackie, you mother fucker"!  We would laugh and then later so would she!  11 surgeries later at Will's Eye Hospital in Philly and they were not able to give her any of her sight back, not one tiny bit.  To this day, if she looks directly in to the mid day sun, all she can see is the needle hole of light that passes through from where the injection went in.  Also during this time, from all of the different meds that she was on, she developed a kidney infection from being in the hospital.  It has been non stop trouble from there.  Nearly 20 years now they have been saying that she will need a transplant one day.  It appears that the day is fast approaching and when it does, I will make up for all of the furniture moving and for being a shitty brother.  I just pray that I am a match! 

Rather than curl up and die, she tried all that she could to stay in college but there was no way for her to get there.  She later enrolled in the school for the blind and we all raised money for her to get a seeing eye dog.  She was not giving up.  While there, she met another person who had lost most of his sight from being sick and they hit it off.  After a few years of separation but keeping in touch, they began to date and later got married.  They produced the most beautiful boy, who is growing up to be an amazing young man.  The neighborhood that we grew up in is where she still lives to this day.  She knows each and every street and she walks all over.  Her son, my nephew promises that he won't let anything happen to her and has been in karate for nearly 6 years now and at 12 already holds a black belt!  I believe that he won't let anything happen to her!  This past year, her beloved seeing eye dog Dorothy got cancer and had to be put down.  So now, she is trapped in the house unless someone comes and takes her out.  I can't imagine how she does it, yet each and every day, no matter how sick she is, no matter how bad she feels and no matter how much pain she is in, she gets up, faces the day and ALWAYS puts people before herself!  She is truly an angel walking this earth, I have never known anyone like her and I have known a great many people!  She has held and broken the record twice now for the lowest blood sugar ever recorded without brain damage!  Each time she falls in to one of these comas, she laughs afterward and says, "I could really feel my brain sizzling on this one". 

So this last time was no different, her blood sugar dropped to 24 and after a direct injection of glucose it rose to 36 and that is when they revived her and put her in the ambulance.  Her body temp was below the lowest numbers on a thermometer and it took over 3 hours to raise her temp up to 96 degrees and that is with a hot water blanket on her.  The type they use if you fell through the ice in to the water.  Shortly after reaching 96 it began to drop again.  Yesterday was a real battle for her.  Each time this happens, she can hear everything going on but can't respond, she calls them her "low sugar dreams".  This time, she was dreaming that for some crazy reason, Gordon Ramsey was yelling her name and screaming at her.  She could not answer and didn't know why he was so damn mad.  After bringing her blood sugar up to a level where she was pulled from the coma she realized that one of her paramedics was Australian!  It wasn't Gordon Ramsey yelling at her, but a paramedic yelling to her that she was going to be okay and that they were there!  She laughed her ass off about this today!

All I can say is that when the time comes that I need to be the toughest I ever have to be, that I have half the strength, courage and fearlessness that she exhibits each and every single day!  Her battle is not over, it never will be and she knows this.  She just faces it each and every day with dignity and faith!  So now again, today she feels a bit hungover, but she is okay.  Your messages to me were overwhelming and I can't thank you all enough, from the bottom of my heart I swear I am so lucky to have you each in my life!  So say a prayer for the ones you love and hope to God that no one you care about ever has to live like she does.

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Hardest Working Guys In The Business!

Most times, before we ever arrive at a rally, the WALL OF DEATH crew is already on property.  Often rolling in during the middle of the night!  As we complain about having to set up our tent or blow up our air mattress, the guys have the daunting undertaking of building THE WALL!  I only watched part of this process but by no means was it any less than back breaking!  They are the first to come and the very last to leave!  I had never really gotten to know any of the Wall crew prior to hosting this year at the Broken Spoke Campground and now wish I had taken the time earlier!  NOTHING BUT CLASS!  While on my ride to the Spoke, I had stopped to get gas about 40 miles or so outside of Deadwood and I was beat.  It would be a 687 mile day for us.  I turned on my phone as I had it off to conserve the battery and I had some messages.  One of those messages was from George The Painter and he had a real tone of concern in his voice.  "Hey man, where you at, we are having some insane weather here", "hope you are okay"!  Yes, GTP does have a heart!  50 weight pumps through it, but all in all, it is a heart.  Well that weather put the guys from the Wall well behind in their construction.  If that wall is not operational, they don't make a dime, if they don't make a dime, how do they even make it to the next event?  THEY DON'T!  The following day, they were still building the wall when it was announced that the Rolling Vietnam Memorial was on property, the opening ceremony would take place shortly but they needed volunteers to help construct it.  The guys from the wall stopped what they were doing instantly!  Now remember, no Wall, no money!  Each and every one of them went down the hill, behind the general store and went to work building the memorial wall.  I had nothing but mad respect for these guys before this, now, forget it, I can't put in to words the RESPECT, yes, there is that word again, that I have for these guys.  They put their work down, they put their income at risk and they went to help!  Fuck that's cool as shit! 

There is no insurance company on earth that will insure a Wall of Death rider and that sucks big time.  You guys know what the cost is when you go to the emergency room because you twisted your ankle, now imagine riding 50mph on a 16' high, 30' round wall of a cylinder and having something catastrophic happen!  I would bet the ranch you don't want that bill!  So they have a fund that they keep for when someone gets hurt.  Yes, they take care of their own, they are a family, the way this shit is supposed to be!  We watch these guys jump dirt bikes and we see the X games on tv, but this is the shit folks, this was America's first extreme sport and they are keeping it alive and well..... okay, maybe not well, but sure as hell alive!  Not well you ask?  Nope!  These are hands down some of the craziest bastards that I have ever had the pleasure to call my friends!  The word Death isn't in the name for no reason ya know!  On a side note, NEVER, EVER, go flat track racing, drunk, at 4am with anyone who has DEATH in their name!  It just doesn't work out in your favor.  One of the highlights of the rally and yes, I have a list of them, was following Mikey in his two wheel drive sidehack and the Jeremiah Weed nuts in their dune buggy on steroids and Jeremiah Lightning on his insane sporty off to HELP FLATTEN the overgrown flat track.  Mikey said "Jack, it's in bad shape", asshole me says, "well we should go see, right now"!  MISTAKE NUMBER ONE FOR STURGIS 2011 on my part!  Did you know that inside the oval of the flat track at the Broken Spoke County Line, there is a motocross track?  No?  Well neither did I!  But guess what?  IN FOURTH GEAR, WHILE CHASING THESE MANIACS, I FOUND IT!  I can also say that I now know for sure that the FXR is the most amazing modern bike Harley ever put out and did you know that they can fly too?  Yeah, I do now too!  Your friend Jack Shit nearly had Death is his title too!  One huge jump, one brutal landing and what I swore were two broken thumbs, I had to heed Jeremiah's warning of "this is really stupid man, really fuckin stupid" and ride back to the lot!

As the week went on I did all I could to make sure that people got to take in at least one wall show and each person that I sent over came right back to me and said "that's the baddest thing I've ever seen"!  They too were absolutely correct!  My schedule was so hectic there that I barely had a moment to get my head straight and I had given the FXR a serious smack down on the flat track.  Well on the part of it that I   managed to find anyway.  The bike was barely running, I blew a fork seal and to make matters worse, the carb was pissing gas out of it!  I had really done a job on her.  With 15 minute breaks between band sets, it is really hard to put your bike back together and with the property being so massive, it took me half that long to walk from one place to another (up until flat track night I had ridden to all these places).  Handsome Charlie Ransom repeatedly told me, "Jack, get that fucking thing over here and let me get a look at it" so I did, then 30 minutes later, I would fire her up and take off, sputtering and spitting my way up the hill!  Eventually, I made it back to the Wall, pulled off the carb and had to run back to work.  Upon my return, I found the entire bike put back together, filled with gas and ready to go.  What an amazing gesture of friendship!  I have got to tell you that being around these guys was amazing.  They truly made my Sturgis Rally 2011.

I can't think of a single night that once the work was done at the Wall, that I did not turn around to be handed a drink or given a hug or to hear my name being screamed at the top of one or more of these maniacs lungs!  They supported me like nothing I have ever seen and I will never forget it!  I was sure as hell not the only one who woke up in the morning more than once with no voice!  I will never forget these guys!  It more or less became a running joke, I would scream "WALL OF DEATH IN THE HOUSE" and they would scream "JACK SHIT".  Incredible memories!

Hands down, one of the highlights of not only the Sturgis Rally at the Broken Spoke but no bullshit, of my life, was when Wahl E. Walker, man I love that name, invited me in to see the show from inside the Wall!  If you have seen the show from the top, you know how amazing it is.  This pales in comparison to being able to see the show from inside.  I know most everyone will never get to experience this and that is truly too bad because it is mind blowing.   These guys are men of honor, respect and loyalty!  They have been at the Spoke for years now on nothing more than a hand shake deal and if you can't RESPECT that, what can you RESPECT?  People who mean what they say and say what they mean, hell, it's virtually unheard of anymore!  This is one cohesive unit, one family and it shows!  Hell, on the final night of the rally, after the food vendors had packed up their tents and trucks these guys even fed me dinner!  Tell me where can you get Spaghetti at a bike rally?  AT THE FUCKING WALL OF DEATH THAT'S WHERE! 

 On the last night of the rally, we were all hanging up on the VIP balcony next to the stage and J. Lightning was killing me with limericks and "poetry" so to speak.  I mean here is this guy who has seen it all, who barely spoke and then in a fury, spit out some of the fastest and funniest shit that I have ever heard in my life!  There are days that I can't remember my phone number and here he is remembering 75 lines from something that he learned as a young guy, incredible!  The entire time there, a documentary was being filmed on the Wall crew and I can't wait to see it, these guys deserve all the good that come their way!

I bet you guys thought that I would forget the FOX IN THE BOX.  Hell no!  What a sweetheart and hard worker as well.  "Don't forget the garlic bread" she said and my night was made!

So next time you see these guys at a fair or a bike rally, dig deep in that pocket, hold your money over the top rail and let them come snatch right out of your hot little hand!  This Sturgis Rally at the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon would have never been the same without the crew from the Wall of Death.  As a friend said to me 2 nights ago, "I applaud and RESPECT YOU"! 

WALL OF DEATH IN THE HOUSE!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

Respect man, plain and simple! How fucking hard is that to understand?

For nearly a year now there has been something just gnawing away at my soul.  I have spoken to friends about this issue and each offered me advice of what they thought I should do, what they thought I should say as well as the advice of "fuck it man, leave it be" or "do nothing man, it will all work out in the end".  For the longest time I had done just that, NOTHING!  I had said nothing, I had done nothing and it has eaten me alive!  As you guys know from reading my writing, I have one very simple hard core belief that guides my life.  I live my life by four letters.  I wrote about them last night.  L, L, H & R, Love, Loyalty, Honor and FUCKING RESPECT!  For me, it just can't be any more plain and simple!  I can understand if all people don't live by each and every single one of these letters, it takes time to get the whole theory but I am appalled by those who can't seem to manage to live by any of them!  I am disgusted by people who are users, by people who put themselves above all others and mostly by PHONY people who will step on the necks of those who they pretend to be friends with just so that they can climb a few inches higher so that they can try and grab shit that they have neither earned nor deserve!  They just step on the necks of those around them because they see something that they want!  It is disgusting and it makes me fucking ill!

For one to be loved, one must give love!  For one to have loyalty from others they must first be loyal to someone, to anyone!  For a person to be honored he must first do something honorable!  Most importantly of all this, is for one to EVER be respected, that person must first show respect, to have respect to give respect and truly important is to have some SELF RESPECT! 

If you have been holding this in for so long Jack, what makes you finally spit it out tonight?  What was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back?  Well humor me for a moment and you may understand.  I moved in to my new house about 18 months ago.  You guys have heard me talk about the neighborhood and the people who live here.  Directly across the street from me is an old couple.  He is 91 and she is 94.  Everyday this beautiful woman walks up and down the street holding on to her walker.  Most days, her husband is right by her side, holding her hand, loving her.  When she needs to stop, he does not get bothered by this, he RESPECTS her and waits until she has the strength to carry on.  He is loyal enough not to leave her side after 70 + years together and tonight as I watched the coroner wheel her out of the house on a stretcher to take her to her final resting place, I watched as he honored her by helping to hold the blanket over her as the Dust Storm tried to blow it off.  Once secured, as they placed her body in the van, I watched as in a final act of L,L,H & R, he placed one last red rose on her body.  At the same time that I was touched to my core to witness this, I was infuriated by the lack of respect of others, for others!  How can some people be so amazing and some people be so disgusting?

You guys know well and good that I have been away in Sturgis and I have only just returned.  The first time that I was invited to come to be part of the Spoke Family, Jay Allen told me that this was our home and we were to make each and every guest who walked through the door feel welcome and make them feel as if they were part of our family.  "Jack, I want these people treated with total RESPECT", that is what Jay asked me to do and that is what the Broken Spoke Saloon is based on, what it was built on, RESPECT!  These were my marching orders and believe me when I tell you, they were the easiest instructions that I have ever been given, I RESPECT everyone until the time comes that they have lost my RESPECT!

For so many, the Broken Spoke Saloon Campground is a sacred place.  The walls are adorned by the great ones who have come and gone before us.  On one wall above the stage, Indian Larry will forever watch down upon all who enter the Spoke, on another, the one and only Johnny Chop, a person that in my entire time around this life we have chosen to live, I've never heard one single person speak one bad word about the man!  On a third wall, the incredible Samantha Morgan is honored and this past rally on another wall we added the one and only Million Miles Squire.  The Spoke's walls are covered in greatness, they are covered with people for whom we could only wish to aspire to be like!  Also on these walls are personal belongings from Jay Allen.  Items that he chose to take from his personal collection of memories and share them with his extended family at the Spoke.  None of these items have ever been stolen and none have ever been defaced because everyone who enters the sacred walls of the Broken Spoke have enough RESPECT for this man, for his property and for his dream!  On the first morning after my arrival this year at the Spoke I entered the main building.  I had never before spent any time there and had never had the privilege of being able to walk every square inch of the place.  With each moment that I spent there, I became more humbled by the energy of those who have passed through the doors before me.  I looked at those huge prints of the names I mentioned earlier and I was moved! 

Over the years, for a great many years, Jay has been a huge part of our culture whether you knew it or not.  His generosity is overwhelming and while there this past two weeks I learned of more and more that he has done to help others.  This is a man who deserves to be treated with respect and his property deserves to be treated equally with the very same respect!  After some time touring the building, getting the lay of the land and trying to figure out how I was going to pull off the mammoth undertaking that I had gotten myself in to by hosting such a hallowed place, I needed to use the bathroom.  I walked in, stood at the urinal and took one hellified piss.  As I turned around, pulled up my zipper and looked up at the wall, my FUCKING HEART SANK!  For one of the very first times in my life, I was truly speechless.  I could not believe my eyes!

On the wall hung an original Discovery Channel Biker Build Off banner!  Now I don't care if you loved those shows or if you hated those shows, they have become a huge part of our recent history and showcased some of the finest people who have ever turned a wrench on bikes.  Now I'm not sure if this banner was from Larry or Johnny, but I know that it was special and it was hung on that wall for all to enjoy and share in.  It was there for all to know that Jay and the Spoke were also part of that history and it was taken from a personal collection and shared with our extended family to enjoy and because they were our extended family, it was there for them to take pride in as well!  Since the day that it had been hung there, it had been unmolested, untouched and unscathed because people understand RESPECT!  Well, some people understand RESPECT!  Why did your heart sink Jack?  Because when I turned around, this is what I saw.

Understand that this photo was taken at the end of the rally this year.  The large I AM DON WOOD was the only thing written on this banner when I arrived on the property.  As the week progressed, seeing that the banner had been written on, for the first time in years, other people added their names to it.  But on day one of the 71st annual Sturgis Rally, this banner had but one name, one thing written with TOTAL AND COMPLETE LACK OF RESPECT for our history, for others property and for the people who gave up everything to follow the life we lead and to follow the dream of what they love!  For me this is inexcusable, unforgivable and just shows the world the kind of person he is!  In the last year I have witnessed a total lack of respect for others.  For other people, for other people's old ladies for anyone in general who he did not think that he could get something out of that would move him up or to help him reach the "FAME" that he so desperately seeks.  Well you have done it Don, you are known now for exactly who and what you are.  For being someone who has a total lack of respect, a total disregard for anyone and everything around him.  You have no idea the world that you have snaked and deceived your way in to.  This Sturgis Rally, you have shown everyone just who you are, what you are capable of and proven to all that you have ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA of the codes that we live by..... let me remind you again, L, L, H & R! 

While at the Broken Spoke, with no warning at all, Don walked back stage, then on to the stage, pulled the microphone mid song from the lead singers hand of the HEAD LINE BAND and stopped them dead in their tracks because he felt the need to make an announcement.  We have one strict policy at the Spoke, we don't stop the band, EVER!  Everything, EVERY DETAIL OF EVERY DAY is timed to the minute.  These guys were being paid a lot of money to play and entertain the guests of the Spoke and they were prevented from doing that.  The crowd was angry, the band was angry, the bosses were angry and I AM FUCKIN ANGRY!  This egomaniac was so afraid that he may lose a moment of camera time or not be able to stand on stage in front of a crowd and shout I AM DON WOOD, which is exactly what he shouted first!  The only smile that I was able to muster up was because the moment he shouted it in to the mic, someone from the crowd shouted, WHO GIVES A FUCK!  I share the very same feeling now!  You may be saying now, "but Jack man, you were running the show at the Spoke, how did you let this get past you in the first place"?  Funny, it was the same question my boss asked me.  I was tricked out of the building by being told that there was a big surprise birthday party for me up at the pool and all my friends in the world were up there waiting for me.  I had to go up there immediately if not sooner!  Oddly enough, as I walked past friend after friend on the way to the pool to quite literally find no one up there but two drunks, I was not surprised, I only assumed it was a practical joke.  On the way back I asked one of my friends and they said oh no man, Don told us 20 minutes ago that we were to be inside the main building, we were wondering why you were going up to the pool!  When I arrived back to the building is pretty much when Don pulled this scam to get up on stage.  He used the guise of Aidan has a Posse to do this.  He put on this bullshit, fake, caring, humble voice and whispered in to the mic, not one person there had a single idea of what he was saying and were shouting for him to speak up, but why would he listen, he knows it all right?  I believe the total raised by pulling this bullshit was a bit over $100.  In 15 minutes, I raised nearly 800 bucks for a titty contest and this guy could not raise shit for a deathly ill child!  So he tricked me, broke the number one rule at the Spoke and cheated a family out of desperately needed funds, NICELY DONE DON!  Your ego is writing checks that you can't cash man!  All you had to do is notify me or any other person at the Spoke of what your plan was and we would have made it happen, at the right time, in front of the right people and raised a shit ton of money, but I guess someone else may have gotten the attention rather than you.  That's what this was about right?  Drawing attention to yourself?  Well you got that attention now man!


This is but just a brief tale of the events that took place this year and believe me when I tell you and you know you can because I always tell the truth, there is so much more!  The bike community is done with you Don.  You have burned all your bridges faster than anything that I have ever seen and I have been around a long time now!  EVERYONE IS DONE WITH YOU!  Some have their 15 minutes of fame, you man, now have your 15 minutes of SHAME!  Look inside yourself man, become a better person or your life will suck forever!


I have never before in my life called someone out like this and the decision to do it did not come easy and I didn't take it lightly.  Like I said earlier, I have been sick over this for months about what to do, or say or to just leave it be, but this was the final straw, I could not just let this go any longer!  It was your actions that drove me to this. 


If there are any of you who disagree with what I have done than tell me so.  In return, I will share with you some of the other amazing and appalling things that have recently taken place.  I will no longer hold back, those days are now long gone.  I've tried my damndest to just let each and every incident go but what you did this week at the Broken Spoke is unforgivable on a great many levels! You should no longer be welcome on any Broken Spoke Property, anywhere!  Congratulations!

For all of the rest of you amazing people that share in our lives, I am sorry for even posting something like this but my head was about to explode and it had to be said.   Until we see each other on the road again,


Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!


Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart and with absolute brutal honesty, I AM YOUR FRIEND,
Jack Shit

NO BIGGER COMPLIMENT!

As you fine folks have probably figured out by now, I am a pretty humble guy!  I live my life by four simple letters; L,L,H&R!  LOVE, LOYALTY, HONOR AND RESPECT and to me, there is no other way to live it!  If you follow these four letters, to the letter, you will get the very same back.  Of course there is always the Classless Buffoon who feels that these letters mean nothing at all and that they are a "slogan" of sorts and don't apply to them.  They will soon find out that they apply TO ALL OF US!  You get back exactly what you put out in to this world we live in.  Sometimes it comes back on you in an instant and other times it takes a bit longer.  In some cases it takes nearly a year to the day, but I digress, that is a different story for another time.  I will say however, that when I get to see a person who puts themselves above all others have shit come crashing down on top of them, I do get an evil little smile across my lips and it reaffirms my faith in humanity and in the universe!

In this case though, what I am speaking of put a joyous smile on my face!  I believe that the universe puts people in our paths for a reason and what we decide to do in that moment forever changes the course of our lives.  Some of these choices bring us much joy and some of them bring us much heartache, but nobody gets them right all the time, so I say go ahead and make those choices because normally the good outweighs the bad.  I walk in the main bar at the Broken Spoke Campground and I immediately begin to see so many familiar faces and my heart warms a bit.  These are all people that I had the great honor to work with last year or to meet on the road at other events, good people!  Each of them walk across the floor to shake my hand or hug me and tell me how great it is to see me again and I am touched to the core.  Here I am thinking that this can't get any better, I am bubbling over with good vibes!  I hear my name called and I turn around and I get a smile from ear to ear!  What greater honor can there be than when the band that has shown up to perform, have shown up wearing I KNOW JACK SHIT t shirts?  If you want to speak of an experience that humbles you, this was one of them!  I don't believe a bigger compliment could have been paid to me!

Ryan Rolando who looks like he is 19 years old, has been playing at the Broken Spoke and has been part of the family for over 20 years now.  I can only assume that he began playing the guitar at the Spoke when he was one or two years old!  This guy is the epitome of class!  I knew in that very moment that my time at the Spoke was going to be amazing.  I believe that the universe sends you signs or signals and it is up to us to recognize them and use the information accordingly.  In this case, in this very moment, all my nerves calmed down, all the pressure lifted up off of my shoulders and I knew that I was not alone in my mission to make this, the 71st annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally a success for my Spoke family!  Each and every single one of us was a team and we all worked towards our team being victorious.  This my friends is one first class operation that is manned by first class people who all put the Spoke ahead of themselves and any petty bullshit that comes with working with so many people from different backgrounds falls to the wayside and everyone knuckles up, it is an incredible sight to see!

For all of those that welcomed me back to the Broken Spoke I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.  It was an honor and a privilege for me to work side by side with you and I look forward to doing it again, perhaps more than I look forward to any gig!

Jay Allen, you had the faith in me to watch over your baby while you worked your ass off down town at the Original Broken Spoke Saloon and I will forever be grateful for the opportunity that you afforded me!  You sir are nothing but class and I applaud you for it!   As I type this, you are hopefully breaking yet another land speed record up on the Salt of Bonneville and I wish you nothing but greatness!  Until we all see each other again at the Spoke, I wish you all nothing but the same feeling of joy and happiness that I got to experience these past few weeks.

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

There are times that you never forget, this is one of them!

The 71st annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally is now over and I am home safe and sound from a 3 thousand mile bike ride! As with any thing in life that you put your entire heart and soul in, there will certainly be ups and downs. From the moment that I arrived at the World Famous Broken Spoke Saloon, it was non stop and at a break neck pace. The shortest day that I worked was 16 hours and that was day one, from there I became more committed and put in on average, 18 hours per day. We go to Sturgis, our holy land to experience the brotherhood, the fun and most importantly the bikes because after all, that is what this entire lifestyle we chose is about, THE BIKES. All the rest of it is just a bonus. We get to spend time with the people we love and would do just about anything for and for some of us, Sturgis is the only time we get to see each other. This was my first year hosting at the County Line Campground and it was the honor of my life to be welcomed back as part of the Broken Spoke family! Many of you have heard me say this but it bears repeating. The very first time that I met with the one and only Jay Allen about working for the Spoke I asked him what he expected of me, what did he want me to accomplish while there. I was fully ready for an hour long meeting and I had my sharpie and blank paper ready to take notes. What Jay said to me I will never forget, he said "Jack, I'm glad you asked". "I want you to welcome everyone in to our home and treat them like family". That was it, those were my entire list of instructions! This man is one class act!

The entire Spoke family is one class act. I know that I have not written much since I left for Sturgis and maybe now you understand why. One of the things that blew me away most was how they handled some very special guests. The Rolling Wall, the Vietnam Memorial, rolling wall has found its home at the Broken Spoke Campground and we were honored to have them. They will return next year and the Spoke will once again be honored to host this amazing tribute to the more than 50 thousand men who gave all in defense of freedom! When the opening ceremony of the wall begins, everything stops, EVERYTHING! The music stops, the party stops, the drinks stop and you can't so much as purchase a t shirt if you wanted to. ALL BUSINESS STOPS! I had the incredible honor and privilege to be part of this ceremony this year and it is something that I will never forget as long as I live! Being a biker, we all know a great many who survived Vietnam and returned home like so many from world war 2 and found the motorcycle and longed for freedom and peace and they found that through brotherhood and the open road! I didn't lose anyone in that war, shit, I wasn't even born until 68' but it made no difference, it touched me like I couldn't even understand. The dedication that these guys have for this memorial is second to none! On a side note, I want to mention another group of bikers that deserve credit and normally don't get it. THE WALL OF DEATH! Because of some insane weather this year it caused great delay in getting their own wall set up. They were far behind in its construction and until it is up and open, they are losing money. Every second that they are at an event and not performing, they are losing money. The time came for the opening of the wall and for the wall itself to be constructed and each and every member of the Wall of Death stopped what they were doing and went down and built the Memorial Wall! Because of the time that they spent, they were not able to even open up for business until the next day. THESE GUYS ARE NOTHING BUT CLASS AND TRUE PATRIOTS! The next time you see them, shake their hands and let them know that you appreciate the hardest working guys in the bike world!

Here is a short video that I managed to capture during the opening ceremony. The sound is not the best and the camera work may be shaky but I think you will see how powerful it was. When it came time for me to speak, I was terrified that everyone there would know that I had tears in my eyes and hear it in my voice! The Spoke was built on RESPECT and everyone involved with the Wall or who has ever given up everything to fight for this country deserves nothing less! GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN SOLDIER!




Until we see each other on the road, or at the Broken Spoke Saloon,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Nearly Home Now

The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally has come to a close now and as I make my 1500 mile ride home it has given me time to think and reflect on the last two weeks.  I had said that in my free time while I was there that I would post some blogs.  As you can see by how many posts I made, there was not much in the way of free time!  I posted zero!  It was an amazing time to say the least and informative as well.  I was able to ascertain that there are some people that I thought were friends who turn out to not really be at all and those that I thought were perhaps no more than an acquaintance turned out to be so much more.  I guess when you get your nuts put on the hot frying pan, you see who has the no stick spray and the spatula!  I will tell you guys all about the event, the people and the madness the very first chance that I get.  If all goes well with the bike and the weather, I should be rolling in to my driveway by 8pm tomorrow night the latest!

For all of you who came to visit me, thank you!  I will never forget the 71st annual Sturgis Rally and in large part, because of all of you!

Till we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and the Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

I nearly drowned!

.... or at least it sure as shit felt like it.  I know I have not posted much recently but I was getting ready for Sturgis and there was much to do.  Expect all kinds of stuff coming in the next two weeks!  I'm on my way there as we speak!  I left a half day early for the "just in case factor" and you know what, "just in case" has already happened!  In a day and a half, we have only made it 750 miles!  The rain tonight was non stop and visibility was near zero.  Each time we passed a truck, we had to wait until we knew we were in a straight away because as soon as you got next to it, a massive wave would over take you and you had to pound your way through it and pray that a bend in the road hadn't popped up!  I have no speedometer so I had no idea how fast I was going.  I thought maybe fifty or so.  We pulled off the road and a suggestion was made that maybe we could try around 60 or 65 and that they didn't think 75 or 80 was working all that well.  Well what the fuck do I know, I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio on the front of the Titanic leading the way!  Finally, after 450 miles, we just had to give up.

So now I sit in a Days Inn in Colorado City, Colorado, waiting on a pizza and blow drying not one, but two pair of boots so that I have something to put on for the ride in the morning!  Who knew it would take a week to get to the Sturgis Rally? 

As you guys know, I am the host of the rally at the WORLD FAMOUS BROKEN SPOKE SALOON CAMPGROUND, so if you are heading to Sturgis, you best come in and say hello and have a drink!  I look forward to seeing you guys there and if you are not going, I guess you will just have to keep up with my trip on here.  I have been on the road two days and have taken two pics!  I have to figure out the photo part of photo journalist!

Till we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

I am your soaking wet friend,
Jack Shit

Consider this!

So many of you have sent me messages asking me about Sturgis.  Questions ranging from where are you working, will you be working, where are you staying, are you hosting the Downtown Spoke again, what is going on with all the rumors I've heard and so many more.  In this post, I will try to answer as many of these questions as I possibly can for all of you. 

First and foremost, the questions of will you be working, where will you be working and where are you staying I can answer with one simple answer; THE ONE AND ONLY, WORLD FAMOUS BROKEN SPOKE SALOON CAMPGROUND County Line!  Once again, I have been welcomed back as part of the Broken Spoke Family and I will be the host of the 2011 Sturgis Motorcycle Rally at the Spoke.  Right now, many of you are probably scratching your head thinking, but you work downtown and Jay Allen is the host of the Campground, what gives with that?  WE ARE SWITCHING IT UP!  Jay will host the downtown Spoke and I will host the Campground for the 71st Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.

To answer the questions about all the rumors that Jay is no longer with the Broken Spoke or no longer part of the Broken Spoke, nothing on earth COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!  Jay Allen is now and will always be part owner of the Broken Spoke Saloon.  Jay built the brand in to the amazing business that it has become today, why would he ever leave that?  I've seen so many posts and gotten messages like Screw the Spoke, we are supporting Jay!  This makes the least sense of any statements that I have ever heard!  If you say you are supporting Jay Allen, then support the Broken Spoke, it is just that simple, Jay is still an owner there.  If you boycott the Spoke, then you are in fact, boycotting Jay.  Does this make any sense to you yet?  Let me put it this way.  There is a relationship between Jay and his other partners in the Broken Spoke Saloon and like any other relationship, emotions can run heavy when you are very passionate and care about that relationship more than most anything on earth!  I liken it to a couple that has been happily married for many years.  Some times in that relationship, you need a break, just that simple.  If you don't step back and step away for a brief period, you can ruin that relationship.  Like a husband and wife love each other, sometimes they can't stand being around each other.  They have ridden all of the ups and downs together for a long time and rather than throw the relationship away by making harsh decisions in heated moments, the couple decides that a break or "trial separation" may be needed.  They don't do this to end the relationship, they do it to save the relationship.  When you have a bit of distance between you, you realize just how very much you each mean to the other and you realize that although there are good times and bad, the good far outweigh the bad.  You realize that you love your other half more than you could ever imagine and come to the conclusion that neither of you can live without the other!  Separation makes the heart grow fonder and in this case, I believe it to be exactly what will happen.  EVERYONE NEEDS A BREAK EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, it is just that simple.  As relationships grow, you find that there are things that you just can't stand about your partner and there are just things about your partner that you learn that you could and would never want to live without.  You realize later that had you not stepped back and taken that much needed break, that relationship with the person, or in this case, with the "place" that you love with all of your heart and soul would have ended.  As far as I am concerned, JAY ALLEN IS THE BROKEN SPOKE and I am honored to be part of the family there.

This year at the Broken Spoke County Line, we are bringing it back to basics.  Old School biker party and camping.  We are making this event as it should be, about all of you, our extended Broken Spoke family!  It seems that over the last few years, every major company has come in to Sturgis and booked bigger and bigger bands and attractions, in my opinion, taking away from what Sturgis really is and that is about getting together to RIDE AND PARTY with dear friends that you have known forever or dear friends that you have just met and will know FOREVER!  The Spoke is going back to the way things use to be and making the event about YOU and not about us!  Go out for a ride and come back HOME to the Broken Spoke Saloon where you are always welcome.  We have so much planned for you guys this year that you won't have to go any place else.  So save yourself the DUI's and plant your ass at the Spoke and party your collective asses off with us.  The area around Sturgis has some of the most beautiful riding in America and you won't want to miss out on any of that and when that ride is over, come back, jump in the BIGGEST BIKER POOL ON EARTH and relax and get some rest because come sun down, we are going to show you the best party in Sturgis! 

Many have asked about how Jay feels that I am coming in and hosting the Broken Spoke Campground?  Let me assure you of this, Jay is my friend and I would never have taken this gig without his complete and total blessing and I HAVE THAT AND THEN SOME!  As a matter of fact, Jay was a big part in me getting the gig at the Spoke and I will be eternally grateful.  Come out and support the Broken Spoke and our friend, mine and yours, a guy who has done so much for our lifestyle, Mr. Jay Allen and don't forget to go downtown and visit Jay at the original Broken Spoke on Lazelle Street and tell em that your friend Jack Shit sent you!  You don't even have to worry about riding down and getting busted, you can take the SPOKE TO SPOKE SHUTTLE that runs from County Line directly to Downtown and drops you off right at the door of the Spoke!

For everyone who will be attending the rally, I can't wait to see you all!  There is no rally on earth like the Sturgis rally and we are all going to have a blast this year.  Even if you are staying at another campground or hotel, make sure you get your ass over to the Spoke and come say hello. 

Another question that I keep getting asked, "Jack", will I be able to pick up I know Jack Shit shirts at Sturgis again this year?  Yes you will!  I have an order that should be finished shortly and yes, I will be bringing shirts up to Sturgis, you can pick them right up at the Campground and yes, the money still goes to helping with the cost of Diane's MS meds and such!  Thank you all, I look forward to seeing each and every single one of you fine fuckers up at the BROKEN SPOKE SALOON!   

In the next few days, I will be posting event schedules and such to show you just what we have planned for you maniacs so keep an eye out for those.

Last year was my first time ever hosting at the Broken Spoke and when I arrived at the campground I immediately checked in with Jay Allen and asked him, "Jay, what do you expect from me"?  I figured I would have a 30 minute conversation with him about my duties there and so on.  That is not what happened at all.  His answer was five words!  JACK, TREAT EVERYONE LIKE FAMILY!  That was it!  Those were my duties and what Jay expected from me and that is just what I did and what I will continue to do this year!

The Circumcission of the Pickle Sickle!

As so many of you fine folks who actually ride those bad Murder Sickles you own know all well and good, sometimes you have to really get a good look at your machine before a big trip.  As you guys also know, that up until this FXRS came in to my life, my newest bike I owned was a 47' Knuck!  So you can imagine my surprise when I found all this new fangled shit on this "new" bike.  Well, this 19 year new bike!  When I came across this bike, the deal that I got on it was far too good to even consider letting it go to some one else, it just WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!  Unfortunately, the bike had sat outside for a year and who ever took this bike from stock, back in the day and "whored it up" cut a great many corners!  Some of those cuts could have been really dangerous.  In my experience and in my current physical condition, about 500 miles is the magic number for me to ride on that nearly 70 year old Rigid Bike!  This one however was made to just eat asphalt and shit it right back out!  So being in the business that I am in, you need to get around and to go on the road you need to be able to pack accordingly and when all you have is one tall sissy bar to tie shit to and handlebars to roll up a jacket, that just don't cut it.  So you have to have a bagger.  This Green Pickle Sickle is in the process of becoming just that.  But how do you turn an FXRS low rider convertible in to one?

With lots of tools!  Patience from your knowledgeable friends and a stack of parts!  It was on Bitch!  It was time to Circumcise the Pickle Sickle!

First and foremost you hook up with the most knowledgeable FXR guy I've ever known.  Mr. Keith Cole is that guy!  Then you call in some favors from friends and ask for help and then finally, "how the hell do I do this"....  Then you determine what is right and good and what is bad and must go.  That is what we began to do!  Start the chopping!  We were fully ready to torch, cut and weld to make this girl sexy and functional.  Here is how we got started!

As you guys know, one of the things you think about most with a new girl is "what's she hiding under that skirt?  Well I had to get a look and believe me, it was a big, long and thick skirt!  Because the bike began its life as an FXRS convertible, there are only one set of saddle bags on earth that fit the bike because of the angle of the rear shocks.  We had to remove the shocks, the fender, the struts, the rear pegs, the mid pegs and the forward controls the controls, the bars, front and rear pipes, tranny cover, cables and a shit ton of wiring  we found that we could not figure out for the life of us what it was and what it did, so we cut it all out?
The rear wheel is out of alignment, we snapped the plastic elbow off of the CV Carb and believe me that was a motherfucker to fix while the carb was still on the bike!  While riding in California near Palm springs I thought that the front end was just going to snap off or that I had two flats.  As it turns out, it was just horrible California Deathways, uhm, freeways!  So today I also drained and replaced the fork oil.  My God was that shit horrid looking.  I swear had I put it in two different containers to collect it, you would think it came from two different bikes, it was SO FUCKING BAD!  No matter what we did with changing the bars and risers, the clutch cable barely reached, 4 sets of bars and 4 sets of risers just to get it right!  That was about where we got to last night, here are a few pics from the tear down.

 We were afraid that we were going to have to cut, but upon removing the existing struts, we found all the holes that we needed were already in the frame.  What a time and work saver that turned out to be!  We had to remove the belt guard (permanently) because we relocated the rear shocks! 

 Brother Roadside, or Roadside Marty from Flat Broke Customs down in Florida was kind enough to donate these mother of all floorboards, the holy grail of fxr parts, mid control boards to my project.  I'll forever be grateful, thank you my friend.  You guys should check out Flat Broke too, Roadside puts out some sick scoots!

 In order to fit the Floor Boards to the bike and make them work, we had to first make the front exhaust pipe fit again.  So we heated that fucker up to glowing and took 3 whacks at it with the hammer.  We figured that would give us a good idea of what we needed to do.  Boy was I wrong about that!  3 whacks and it was the perfect fit!  So we cooled it down Arizona style by putting it in front of a portable swamp cooler and then test fit it.  IT FIT PERFECT!

 On the trip to Cali, the maiden voyage for the fxrs and I, I noticed a serious lack of power at the top end.  As you can see, the pipes were no where near being close to the same length.  I think that may have had something to do with the performance.  Like so many things from the 90's, they looked cool, it was form over function.  So Mr. Cole cut down an 11" piece of steel,

 We eyed it up, it looked right and he took it down to AZ True Wheel this morning and welded that bad boy up for me.  Now the pipes are nearly the same length and you can see all of the discoloring in the pipes and I love that shit!  We got a bunch of shit done today but we were at a dead stand still.  When you are making your own bagger, there are two things you need that you can't have missing.  Do you know what they are?  You guessed it, THE DAMN BAGS!  My buddy Milwaukee Mike was decent enough to pick up a bunch of fxrP parts for us a few months ago and he shipped some of it to me now to make this happen.  The box was delivered while we weren't there so we had to go and stalk the mail men down at the post office until they finally took it off the mail man's truck at 10 minutes to 5, as they were closing!  SCORE!  Now we were ready to get going.

 We had to get rid of the lovely Pickle's rear fender to mount the new shocks and re install the tail light and plate bracket.  Keith was kind enough to donate this fender to the project so Whiskey John spent the afternoon priming and painting it.  I'll always have a little of him in this bike to remember him by.  2 of his beard hairs fell off in to the wet paint and will be there for eternity!

 We got the frame rails for the cop bags all mocked up and began installing them.  This took some doing and another trip to the lowes for some more nuts and bolts!  But we were moving.  Tail light installed and re wired, with a quick connect for future removal.

 One down, one to go and then the rear rail, yes, the one every one always leaves off because it never, ever fits right.  Don't ask me how, but I got that fucker to fit right on the first shot! 

 The little woman was wondering where the hell her man had been for the last 3 days so even she came down to check on the project.  She was quite pleased.  She offered a hand here and there and even corrected me on a big mistake I was going to make!  THAT'S MY GIRL!

 We were doing so well, it was time for Brother Skoog who was installing a 3" Primo Belt Drive on to his fxr for Sturgis, to start cracking some beers.  I was so pleased with my progress that I too shared a beer with him and the lil woman!

Okay, I'm not being totally truthful there.  Let's just say it was time for Brother Skoog to open another beer and we will leave it with that!  It was ice cold and tasty for the record and it is really very rarely that I have beer at all, but this one was victorious and delightful!

With both bags on, we were really kicking ass.  All that is left to do is straighten out that rear wheel, tighten up some loose shit, put some washers where I forgot and install the lic. plate bracket and then she rolls off of the lift!  It was a lot of work but it was well worth it.  I look forward to installing the fixed fairing!

 Even the lil woman was pleased with the turnout!  Here she is sitting aside the bike that is going to carry her man and all his shit for about 3 thousand miles next month!  When I return home from Sturgis, this beautiful girl is going to carry both me and my beautiful girl on a much over due California trip for both of us!  I just want to thank;

Keith Cole
Ken Schmoldt
Roadside Marty
Milwaukee Mike
The boys from Foundry Moto
Diane of course
Whiskey John
Brother Adam (and you know why)
and anyone else that I am forgetting, hey, it's 3 am and I am really tired right now!

Till we see each other on the road, hopefully Sturgis,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass.

Your happy friend,
Jack Shit

It never ceases to amaze me!

One of the very first things that I noticed when I moved out to Arizona was that the Phoenix area has some of the worst drivers that I have ever seen in my life. I come from New Jersey and New York and although we have been accused of "allegedly" driving in an aggressive manor, at least we can fucking drive! The other thing that I noticed was that unlike back east, there are no such things as fender benders out here. When you have a car accident out here, YOU ARE LEAVING IN A HELICOPTER! It is damn near a guarantee. I don't think that it is because people are hurt so bad, I truly believe that it's only because they have these damn things sitting around and they have to use them so that they can make the payments. I mean hell, out here, everything is getting foreclosed on or repossessed. I think the average flight is 16 grand I believe. Anybody want to go in on a helicopter with me? Anyway, this is half of the video that I shot of just another "AZ fender bender" the other day. It happens all day long out here.

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit