Another Spectacular Day

Since I began this blog I've been blessed by growing a vast audience of incredible people all over the globe. Jack Shit's World is now viewed in more than 90 countries around the world. It's viewed regularly in places with a great big Chopper Culture and places where Freedom is the worst 4 letter word that can be spoken out loud.

Right from the get go, I gave you all my word that I would never lie to you and no matter what, I'd be straight with you no matter how painful or personal the subject. I guess that it struck a chord with quite a few people who are just sick and tired of being fucking lied to all the time by the very people whom we've put our trust in. In my heart, I believe that has been the secret to the success of this blog. I try to answer every message that I get as fast as I can and publish every comment. Well scratch that! I've published every single comment ever posted to the blog with the exception of one. There was no way on earth that I was giving that guy an open forum to spew more bullshit! So in the spirit of answering those questions, the most frequent question that I receive is about two things and they are usually in the same sentence. Is the weather in Arizona really as beautiful as you make it sound and how is the riding out there? So today, I mounted up the new Go Pro Hero 2 Hd Camera that Diane bought me for Christmas and fired up the bagger! So far, I haven't found anything that I haven't been able to mount this crazy ass camera to. I've slapped that shit on my tachometer, my gas fill lid, the mirrors, the saddlebags and even the inspection cover on my primary! I am stunned with the quality of the footage that it shoots.

So for all of you folks who take the time to read the blog and share it, I say thank you so very much for taking time out of your life, to hear about mine. So I made this video today to show you just how beautiful it truly is here in the Valley Of The Sun! It was a quick 75 miles or so and it was absolutely gorgeous out. The sun was blazing away and it had to be nearly 75 degrees and it's FUCKING JANUARY! Filming the ride ended with yet another mesmerizing Arizona sunset. So I hope this video answers your questions. For those of you who have been on the fence about coming out to AZ. for Bike Week, I hope this changes your mind and you come visit us. When you do, make sure you come see me at the Dirty Dogg Saloon and have a drink with me! Enjoy! Keep this in mind before you watch the video, I am not a videographer nor am I a film producer/editor, I'm just figuring this thing out!




Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ASS!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Drool Motherf**ckers Part 2

It took me a little bit while watching this before I realized that I had forgotten to breathe! I couldn't wait for the camera to turn the next corner! I've NEVER seen anything like this! If you are an old bike guy, you have got to watch this. If you are a chopper guy, this is truly heaven! Thank you Joey Chop for pointing these videos out to me! Okay, I can take a deep breath now! Sweet Baby Jesus, what I wouldn't give to have a pocket full of cash and a day to spend in this place!



Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

The Mythical Pink Unicorn Revealed!

You guys have always heard the stories of the PARTS PALACE.  It's the similar story to the guy who knows a guy who is friends with a guy whose sister dated a guy whose brother's Uncle's Grandfather had the Knucklehead in his garage, it has 400 miles on it and they only want 750 bucks for it.  The problem is, no one can ever produce the The Knuckle much less so much as a name.  This is the same story you hear about the guy who has an entire barn and chicken coops full of every bike part known to man.  Or you hear a story about the high rise building that is filled from the basement to the roof with nothing but old Harley shit!  Even when you find out that it is true, the chance that anyone would ever allow you in to see it is less than slim to none!  I don't know where this place is and I'm not even going to ask because I'm afraid that I'll get the answer!  I have never in my life seen anything like this!  My friend Joey Chop from here in Az. posted this video earlier on Facebook and it blew my mind.  As I watched it, I found myself saying "oh my God" and "holy shit" every few seconds! 

Well here it is folks, the mystical Pink Unicorn that up until now has only existed in fantasy, urban legend or drunken camp fire story!  The part that struck me deep in the gut was around halfway through when I hear the guy say, and there are five more floors of this!  This was truly like peering in through the gates of heaven and being able to see paradise, but not being allowed to enter!  As the video begins, a few words come on the screen and they could not be more accurate!  Thank you guys for proving to us that the Unicorn does exist!

LIKE A TUMOR ON THE BALLS OF THE WORLD

JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT'S GONE, IT COMES BACK!  You did the right thing, you did the treatments, you rubbed the creams on your sack, you let them blast you with radiation that sent your lil swimmers running for their lives and dying in the furthest reaches of your hairy boys anyway...  and still, that Tumor on your nut sack still re-appears, you just can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try!

 Well in this particular metaphor that I'm spewing out my twisted mind, The World's Nut Sack just happens to be the one and only Dirty Dogg Saloon in Scottsdale, Arizona and

I AM THAT VERY TUMOR!  

The deal is done, the contract signed and my return is set in stone!  Lock up your daughters and lock up your wives, ride them murdersickles over to the Dirty Dogg for the TIME OF YOUR LIVES!  I am back!  I will be hosting AZ Bike Week once again and bringing my own form of insanity back to the Dogg for AZ Bike Week!  Last year was completely insane and I'm looking to not only top that shit this rally but I plan to crush that shit in to submission and make last year look like we spent 8 days at church!  For those of you who are worried about such sinful activity giving you an express ticket through the gates of hell, worry not, for I am an Ordained Minister and will absolve you of all your sins each night at closing time!

So spread the word, JACK SHIT IS BACK at the one and only Dogg!  Make your plans to spend your time losing your mind with us!  I will keep you posted as to what we have in store for you as it gets nailed down.  What I've seen that is already a done deal ROCKS!  Live entertainment each and every day and once again, we will host our Annual Spring Fling on the last Saturday of the Rally!  Last year, the party was mind blowing!  It was the first time in my career that over an hour after we closed down the event, people were still lined up outside along the fence just to say hello, take a picture and thank me for showing them such an incredible time!  I was just stunned by that.

There is nothing on earth that makes me feel better than making people smile, NOTHING!  I plan to bring an ever loving fuck ton of smiles to you fine fuckers this rally!  So I will see you there, tell your friends and come hang out with me at the WORLD FAMOUS, DIRTY DOGG SALOON!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit 

Okla. Woman Shoots, Kills Intruder: 911 Operators Say It's OK to Shoot - ABC News

Once again, you tell me what would have happened to this woman and her child? There was no way on earth that the police would have ever arrived in time to save them. Her husband had died on Christmas and these scumbags tried to take advantage of knowing this woman was home alone. If this had been another state, she would either be dead or on her way to prison! Thank God that this woman had the strength and the courage to protect that child! 18 years old and she stayed calm enough to make it count. There is nothing on earth more dangerous then a mamma protecting her baby! For 20 minutes they tried to break down her door and still no police! What would you do when someone is coming at you with a 12 inch knife, oh that's right, you are supposed to wait for the police to arrive so they can take pics of your dead body and notify your relatives.


Okla. Woman Shoots, Kills Intruder: 911 Operators Say It's OK to Shoot - ABC News

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

OFF AND RUNNING ! ! !

Over the years, I've come to grips with certain factors in our life.  For example, one step forward and two steps back.  I've come to grips with the fact that in my life, no Good Deed goes unpunished.  I hear people say that the bad things in life are a test from God or the Universe or whatever that particular person who was saying it to me at the time believed in themselves.  I was just getting in to some really heavy, possible life changing thoughts, the thoughts I was working on and cultivating this very moment may very well change the world.  But holy shit, Hangover 2 just started so, I'm going to have to put those thoughts on hold!

Okay, well I'm back and although that movie was funny as hell, I've completely lost those world altering thoughts that I had earlier.  I tried to keep them fresh in my mind and I did, right up until the end of the movie when they showed the photo of the monkey who caught the ping pong ball that was shot out of the Bangkok hookers twat with his mouth!  From that moment on, all thoughts were washed from my mind and replaced with hysterical laughter!  So we will now forgo any of that magical wisdom and Jack Shitlosophy that seeps from the depths of my mind and we will get on to better things like going out and bringing in the New Year with a bang!

We in the Shit family are not much in the way of tradition.  Although Diane and I have been together now for nearly 26 years, we just roll with the punches, go with the flow or let the proverbial tide take us wherever it will.  There is one thing however that we have held pretty sacred in our lives.  That sacred thing that we cherish so very much, our one family tradition, what is it you ask?  IT'S OUR NEW YEARS EVE PARTY!  We began the tradition with just a few friend way back when we began dating.  We were more or less kids back then so it was a great way to be able to drink and party and not get in to any real trouble, not to mention that Diane's big, beautiful house was completely empty because her parents were in Italy for damn near a month!  From that day on, it became our night!  Since that first party, we've hosted New Years Eve nearly every single year since with the rare exception.  Over the years, these parties have become both famous and infamous I'm both proud and ashamed to say!  A combination of hard work and good fortune has allowed us to always have a home large enough to accommodate anyone and everyone who wanted to stay.  We've always thought that this particular night was amateur night.  I never wanted myself or anyone that I cared for to be hit head on while driving home by some pencil pusher who had a few too many wine spritzers at his mistresses house and was trying to race back home to his wife and family.  So we more or less insisted that everyone stay.  Over the years, it just became common knowledge.  Guests not only came with their favorite pillows but began to show up with motor homes, pull behind campers and some maniacs would even have the balls to sleep outside in a tent.  There were years that the overnight temps reached 0 and these lunatics would be asleep in a tent in my back yard!

My days of hosting massive house parties for this occasion are over for now.  This past year and the last few before it have been a motherfucker for us and so many.  I really have not had the excitement or enthusiasm to host the party.  Little did I know that carrying on our tradition was exactly what I needed to re-ignite that enthusiasm.  As you ladies have heard this phrase before, I decided to not go full pump, but to just "put the tip in"!  We kept the party small and had a total of 20 people or so.  Although there were some great friends who could not be there, the people who were are the closest people we have on earth.  About 3 hours before the party, instead of being wiped out from cleaning up the patio and the house, I felt more and more excited.  As you guys know, I shoot lots of photos.  I always have some type of camera on me.  This party was so damn good that I didn't shoot one single photo.  I had so much fun that it never even dawned on me to grab the camera.  Luckily for us, our friend Jill had hers and shot some great shots of the night.  Many magical moments were captured this night but hands down, my favorite shot was this one.

They have now made certain types of fireworks legal here in Arizona.  Unfortunately for us, the types the folks around us decided to blow off were not the legal ones.  My dogs were freaking out, especially the one with the green glowing eyes on the left.  That poor dog was so horrified that he would not even step outside.  Anywhere you stepped, he was behind you, next to you or jamming his head between your legs.  We had to dose him with xanex just to keep him from having a canine heart attack.  We didn't know what else to do.  As you can see here, it had long since hit and he was just totally chilled!

Look at the night time temps that we were blessed with for the party!  I know that it seems warm, yet it really did not feel that way.   That is why we had to drink so much, solely to keep warm of course.

 Discussing the art of the chopper,

I like to simply call this shot, THE NEW SPICE GIRLS!  We've had both of these dogs for a long time now.  Over all these years, neither one has ever sat still for a posed photo.  Guess the xanex helps!

Here we have Long Jon schooling me in the ways of the game of pool.  I lost and learned nothing!

 This is our friend, our neighbor and our extraordinary photographer for the evening, Ms. Jilly!

Poor Pinky Pancake, she waited and waited for that damn elevator to take her down to the basement!

Two words, Weenie Tots!  Who doesn't love Weenie Tots?  These were home made by my girl!

What struck me this year as mind blowing and different than most other parties that we have thrown was the incredible generosity of our guests.   Everyone showed up with something to take the burden off of us and some showed up with gifts that were amazing!  How do you ever go wrong with a bottle of Jack?  You can't!  Thanks Brother Adam, you rule.  Our photographer Ms. Jilly, came with gift in hand and it was like nothing I've ever seen.  If you are like me and you like to beat your meat, then you too will truly appreciate the gift that she was kind enough to bring us.  Here, I'll show ya.

Right after Sturgis, I had asked Pinky about doing a microphone tattoo on my dead arm.  All I told her was that I wanted an old mic.  I could not come across with the idea that I had in my mind.  I mean not at all.  There was no way for me to describe it.  With no input, she showed up with this piece of art, framed and it blew my mind!  This photo does it absolutely no justice!  BAD ASS!

 While hanging out in the garage with some of these fine party attendees, the one and only GTP comes strolling in and says, I got something for ya man.  He hands me a garbage bag!  I love garbage bags.  I thought he was just adding to my bike luggage collection.  Well that was until I opened it!  I am now the proud owner of a George The Painter Original piece of artwork.  Again, believe me when I tell you, these photos in no way shape or form do either of these pieces of art any justice at all!

Looking in to the eyes of this chick will send chills down your spine.  Just staring at this painting made me want to run down to the projects and score some dope!  Luckily, I don't drive on NY eve!

The party could not have gone any better than it did!  There was no drama, no bullshit, nothing but great times, hard partying and non stop laughter!  I can't put in to words how lucky I feel to have all of these amazing people in my life, in our lives!  If we truly are judged by those that we spend our time with, then I MUST BE AMAZING!

The only other tradition we have is our New Years Day bike ride.  We had planned on joining the group and riding to Cave Creek.  THAT DID NOT HAPPEN!  When it came time to leave for the ride, our house guests were just beginning to get their asses up and moving.  I didn't mind because it just gave us more time to hang out and enjoy each others company.  Later in the day, once everyone had gone home, I rolled the Road Glide out of the garage and we took off for the mountains.  It had been a good long while since the lil woman and I just took a ride.  A ride with no real destination or arrival time set in stone, just a ride to nowhere and it was great.  We use to live on Superstition Mountain and it is the only thing I miss about our last home.  That is where I pointed the bike and that is where we ended up.  The Goldfield Ghost Town was a perfect spot to walk and talk and sit down and have a beer, not to mention that the riding and the view is just plain spectacular!

We took a whole bunch of pics that day.  Every single shot came out perfect but one.  Oddly enough, only a portion of one photo was screwed up.  I guess they don't call this area a Ghost Town for no good reason.  I don't really believe in all that shit because I know of no proof positive that any of this exists.  I do recognize things that are very difficult to explain.  We were sitting at the table and I had the camera on a mini tripod.  I held it out in front of us and shot the pic.  I just couldn't get the angle right.  I thought I would put it on the table, set the timer and shoot a better photo.  I set the timer for 10 seconds and stood next to Diane.  All of a sudden, I got this crazy chill.  Now mind you, it was nearly 80 degrees in the heat of the day.  At the same time, I got a bit sick to my stomach.  I didn't think much of it, after all, I partied the night before like it was my last day on earth.  In as fast as the feelings came, they left.  I remember the very moment that it happened because it was just as I set the timer.  Look closely at the photo and look at my head and face.  Look at the ORB floating in front of my face. Not one other photo had this.  None before and none after!

Did you notice that it is not in front of my shirt, that it is not in front of Diane's face or that it is not anywhere else?  Pretty damn strange if you ask me!

The sun would soon fall out of the sky and beautiful day or not, the temps would drop quickly.  Even though our total ride that day was only around 70 miles or so, I wanted to ride out in to the desert before the sun set and get one great shot of the day, of our ride and capture for eternity, just how happy I was this first day of 2012.  I wanted to capture it for those days ahead that I won't be so happy on.  On those days, I will be able to look back at it, remember that feeling and hopefully re-capture it.  We hopped on the bike and rode off towards the setting sun.  I took a 20 mile detour hoping for the perfect hill, the perfect back drop and all at the perfect light!  Just as our luck would have it this first day of our last year, we nailed it.

So I go through the trouble and run the risk of not getting the shot before the sun set.  I ride out in to the desert to find the perfect Saguaro Cactus to shoot in front of on the perfect stretch of road.  The road has very little traffic on it and that is why I chose it.  I can stand in the middle of the road and shoot or I can put the mini tripod down on the road and know that it won't be crushed by a passing lunatic!  So we hit everything just right.  We stop and I line the bike up directly with the setting sun.  I play the shadows and light.  I've got the perfect shot lined up, it has all paid off!  WE DID IT!  With that, in all this massive open desert, on this long, lonely stretch of road where there are hundreds of thousands if not millions of these Saguaro Cactus, this guy comes pulling up and quite literally parks right in the frame of the shot I've set up.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  He gets out of his truck, sees us shooting pics and walks right up and through the shots.  "Are you taking photos"?  UHM, NO, I'M ABOUT TO JAM THIS CAMERA AND TRIPOD UP MY ASS, YOU FUCKING MORON!    He then says, wow, I bet it will be a good one.  Hope I'm not in the way.  Well, you walked through, your shadow is in the photo now and YOUR FUCKING TRUCK IS NOW PARKED NEXT TO THE GOD DAMNED BIKE!  I will admit that it truly was a bad ass truck!  It was so damn strange.  We were just stunned.  He took a few pics of his truck, of us and then the cactus, got in his truck and drove away!  I looked at Diane, she at me and at the same time we said to each other "what the fuck was that"?  Then we just laughed and tried to beat the darkness home.

You believe that shit?  As you can see, I had the shot lined up, the shadow spreading its way across the ground and actually climbing up that cactus.  Now it is parked under his fucking truck!  We get back on the bike, laugh, shake our heads and ride away.  We don't make it a mile away and there is the guy parked on the side of the road, right next to another cactus!  Did he stop just to fuck up our photos?  Guess we will never know!

I had an amazing last day and first day of the year.  I am grateful for all the good that I have in my life because it makes me humble to know that I've been blessed and I've learned to be grateful for all the bad in my life because it builds character.  I am not going to lie to you, I told you that I never, ever would.  I would like to have more good than bad this year, I think it would be a nice change of pace once and for all!

I wish you each and every single one of you who have chosen to take this journey with me here on the blog and follow my antics and support us when times are bad, only the very best that life can offer.  I wish you each, love, health, happiness and joy in this upcoming year!  Live each and every day like it is your last and remember once again that there is never a wrong time to do the right thing!  HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE and from the bottom of my heart, I honored to have you along for the ride!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your Ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

 

Armed Homeowner Shoots Robbers During Daytime Invasion (AZ)

I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT YOU CAN'T TAKE JUSTICE IN TO YOUR OWN HANDS! I want to bang my head against a wall when I hear people say, "well, that is what the police are for"! No, it's not! I grew up with somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 men in my family. Nearly every single one of those men was a cop! I don't mean the hide behind the billboard to catch you speeding kind of cop but the kind of cops who took murderers and rapists off the street. The cops in my family were super cops! One was the head of homicide for the city of Newark, N.J., another the head of crime prevention for the city of Newark, N.J., (an impossible job) which the title in itself is pretty much an oxymoron! Sgts, Lts, Cptns, Chiefs of Police and Police Directors and they all always said the same thing. We don't stop crimes from occurring, we don't prevent crimes from occurring, we show up afterwards to take the report and then hopefully catch that person before they hurt someone else and we notify next of kin!

So now watch this video and you tell me; would this guy have even survived long enough to dial all of the numbers in 9-1-1? Perhaps he and his family would have been slaughtered or his wife and daughters kidnapped and taken to a whore house in Mexico City or just plain old school held for ransom? These guys, in broad day light, had the balls to storm this man's home and they want to take away our right to OWN A WEAPON or PROTECT OUR FAMILIES? I mean seriously, look at the fucking gun that guy is carrying, what is it, an M-16? This family would have likely been first robbed and then killed so there would be no witnesses! DON'T EVER LET THEM TAKE AWAY YOUR RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS or YOUR RIGHT TO SAVE YOUR OWN LIFE! When I questioned an old man with a gun as a young boy as to why he carried a gun, was he a policeman, he replied "no son, I'm not". Then why do you have a gun, I asked him? I will never forget the answer he gave me. More than 35 years later, I have not forgotten his answer! IT IS BETTER TO HAVE A GUN AND NEVER NEED IT, THAN TO NEED A GUN AND NEVER HAVE ONE!




I'm done venting now! Good luck, stay safe and have a great new year. Anyone who tells you that we don't have real problems down here in AZ, show them this video! For all we know, that rifle was probably one from Fast and Furious!

Until we see each other on the road again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass
and remember, it is better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

THE YEAR IN PHOTOS

The year in photos of my life that is, at least the ones that I can find!  There are so many shots that I wanted to add to this that I know I have somewhere in my lap top's memory, but for the life of me can't find them.  I can never find shit when I need to and then it pops up in random folders that have nothing to do with what I am searching for!  I'm the guy who just clicks "save" and never look at the location it is saving too.

After sitting down and writing that piece last night about this past year, I got to thinking.  Yeah I know, what a rare and strange phenomenon that must be for me?  It doesn't happen all that often, so when it does, I try to roll with it.  I re read last night's blog post and realized that although I included some excellent photos, I really didn't include my favorites.  What makes a photo qualify as "a favorite shot" is not an easy question to answer.  Some photos it is for the obvious reasons.  Perfect light, perfect subject, perfect moment or perfect mayhem, if that is possible all make up that shot.  For me though, a great photo doesn't have to even be in focus or be lit right or any of the other "photo rules" that photos are judged by.  If I look at a photo and it evokes a memory, a thought, a smile or a tear, that qualifies as "a favorite shot" in my book.  The photos that follow are some of my most favorite shots of the year and if they don't seem obvious, I'll explain why.  I hope you enjoy.

The above photo is a favorite shot of mine because it was sent to me after my blog, THIS VERY BLOG had been banned by court order all across the middle east.  I received this in an email or face book message.  I still laugh out loud sometimes when I see it.

 Well this one is self explanatory, Brother Teach in a hot rod, in a garage, talking bikes, working on bikes and drinking a beer.  Any time spent with Teach is inevitably a great time!  Keith Cole's Garage.

I rode my Knucklehead along with F Bomb up to Flagstaff to meet up with the racers of the Cannonball.  When we left, it was 109 degrees.  When we arrived in Flagstaff it was 29 magical degrees!  It was amazing to see not only these machines that have defied dying or being abandoned somewhere for nearly a hundred years but the men and women who rode them.  We rode from Flagstaff to Laughlin, Nevada as the racers arrived.  It was a sight like I had never before seen.  F.T.W., FOREVER TWO WHEELS!

 I love this shot of George the Painter.  He is up in the Legends Gallery at the County Line Broken Spoke Saloon.  He had the biggest show of his life and I have never seen him more relaxed!  The pressure was off both of us.  We had both performed above and beyond what any one ever expected or imagined that we could.  Look at the amount of people in the Spoke, it was a zoo!  If you know GTP at all, then you know this level of "chill" is rarely if ever achieved!  It was his moment of ZEN.....

It's not the fact that Diane is not in pain or feeling shitty!  It's not that Jill looks like a blow fish on Angel Dust, it's not that Jill has a big fist full of Diane's tit, what makes this shot amazing is the Brother Adam behind them.  Just look at that poor bastard!  Right now I can guarantee that he was thinking maybe Jack was right and I shouldn't have bought all those drinks when he warned me not to!  The pics got even stranger as the night went on!  What a great night this was and it led to an unbelievable story of being stopped by multiple cops, if you can imagine that!

 A shot that I actually grabbed with my cell phone believe it or not.  I had just finished doing a bit of wrenching on it in a buddies garage.  I was taking it on her maiden voyage to California and wanted to make sure she was ready for the journey.  It was one of those shots you just looked up and said, oh yeah!

 As I said above, sometimes a shot just happens, other times you see the shot in your mind and you have to set it up!  People always say that guns are phallic symbols so I put that theory to the test, you decide.

Where the fuck else but Tombstone, Arizona will you walk in to a 100+ year old bar to find a Nun bent over the pool table lining up the eight ball?  I yelled at her "PLEASE WAIT" and she kindly obliged!

 2011 will forever be the year that Brother Adam got THE GREATEST TATTOO EVER!  Pinky rocks!

Like I said, sometimes the shot is just there, you just have to open your eyes to see it.  To think that picking up a paper that blew on the rocks would lead to this shot?  The first time I cleaned the Pickle.

Like I said, great memories, great shots and great shit happens.  Sometimes it rides up to you in the middle of the woods in Tennessee in the middle of the night wearing a rebel flag bikini and smoking a cigarette.

 So picture this.  I'm laying in the grass.  It's like 125% humidity and I'm hot and tired.  I have a nice cool, refreshing bottle of water to sip on.  I put it down and wait for the first contestants of the Tramp's Triathlon to come screaming by.  I reach to my left for my water and it is not there.  I don't look back, I just blindly feel around, IT'S NOT THERE!  I turn to see this lil gangster staring at me with the "yeah!" "I took your water bitch, whatcha gonna do about it" look on his face!  One of absolute favorite shots of the entire year.  What a little bad ass!

Maybe the Bible is right?  Seek and ye shall find!  I have to say, had Bart not been seeking, he may have never found the answer.  In this case, well, the answer was written on her panties!  Guess she is not all that much in to pillow talk!  She is probably the kind of girl who wants to talk after!

 The label on the condom machine at the one and only TT's Roadhouse in Scottsdale.  It is after all, a douche bag free establishment.  On a side note, if you ever stop in, grab a stool by the cash register and take a look at all the "people banned" notes.  The descriptions are priceless! 

Apparently these days, the term, phrase and title, "LIVING LEGEND" gets tossed around pretty loosely.  If you want to know what a living legend is, then spend a few moments in this great man's presence!  This is the one and only Brother Speed!  This mother fucker has lived it all, he has seen it all, he has been part of it all and he has survived it all!  The best part is that he has ridden to it all too!  You want to know about our history, this guy knows it!  I am honored to call this man, this LIVING LEGEND my friend!  Long may you run Brother Speed, see ya at the Broken Spoke!

So now, picture this.  I go all day without eating.  We wrench on bikes all day to be up and ready for the ride to Foundry Moto in Glendale for their first party in what feels like years.  This was a pretty special occasion because the parties at Foundry are legendary and not to be missed.  We ride out in a pretty good sized pack and have a great time until the police helicopter arrives along with the SWAT team and shuts down the party.  Charlie the Nomad, Worm and I make a mad dash for home.  As we are rolling up to a light, Nomad says "hey, ya hungry"?  Fuck yeah I am!  Taco Bell, I'm buying?  Fuck yeah, I'm in!  It's late, the only thing open is the drive thru.  We walk up to the order board and they will not help us because we are not in vehicles.  We tell them the bikes are too loud and thought it would be easier.  They make us go get our bikes and then leave us at the sign and will not speak to us again.  I roll away, park the bike and say fuck it, The Nomad however WILL NOT LEAVE without his taco supreme!  He sat and sat patiently, asking in to the box, "help me, hello, I'm hungry" but still no answer.  Finally, we have 5 cars lined up behind him and he will not move!  All of a sudden, "welcome to Taco Bell, can I take our order"?  I had given up by now and was half asleep on the side walk on my back.  I never hear the bike fire up, so I gave up.  Then I hear the tell tale sound of a chain rolling over a sprocket and coming around the corner, rolling the bike with his feet, holding the bag in his teeth is Charlie the Nomad and he has the GOODS!  It was a proud moment!  Stand up for your right to be a biker and eat a taco!

 I captured this shot on top of a mountain in what I believe was Tennessee.  I have no idea because not only was the mist and the fog so thick that you could not see the tail light in front of or next to you but we had stopped, I believe 438 times to change jets in this old shovel's carb!  This is the mountain that I pissed off of on to the valley below and those fools thought it was raining!

There are several reasons this photo made my favorite list.  First off, Robert "Pinner" Hernandez was the first person I ever met on a bike in Arizona!  Second, in the 9 years since I met him, no matter how God awful cold it is out, I've never seen him with a jacket on, NEVER!  Thirdly, how can you not cherish a photo of a guy who just crawled out of a tent after a weekend of hard riding, hard partying and freezing temps, who wakes up, smells his own hand and gets that expression on his face?  You can't!

Putting a few bikes in one spot, not hard.  Putting a shit ton of bikes in to one half of one parking spot a bit more difficult.  Putting all of these bikes in half a spot on a 30 degree angle hill, getting tougher, jamming a 12 foot long chopper in the middle of it really getting difficult.  Not having the Chinese taxi drivers ride over the bikes sticking out, nearly impossible!  Post Born Free 3 on our way to Chicago Will's after party!  In this group, a knuck, a pan, a shovel, an evo two twin cams and one Pickle Sickle!

 There are very few things that bring me as much pure joy as doing the right thing, giving and seeing people smile!  While hosting the Broken Spoke in Sturgis, I met this amazing couple.  He was a recently returned vet and they just kept telling me how much they loved the Spoke.  They rode all the way there on their bike and were camping.  I asked will you be back here again next year?  They answered of course we will, we will never go any other place!  I said that is a good answer because your camping here at the Broken Spoke Saloon for the 2012 Rally is on me!  I was all smiles, they were more in shock!  I did this to several soldiers and their families and you know what?  IT FELT AMAZING!

 WHO KNEW THE ENTIRE CITY OF VENTURA WAS AVAILABLE FOR LEASE?

WHAT CAN I SAY?  I LOVE ME SOME TARDS!  OF ALL THINGS, HIS NAME WAS MATT!

Our two blue boys on the extremely rare occasion that they actually lay still.  It is so rare that I actually had to take a picture of it just to prove that it is at all possible! 

As it turns out, this was just another day at the office in 2011.  I was considering filing sexual harassment charges but decided that I did not want to get anyone in trouble or have to experience a hostile work environment afterwards!  Believe me, these ladies can get pretty rough!  Dirty Dogg Saloon

This was a great day of working on old iron up in Glendale with Pinner and Jay.  I learned a hell of a lot that day.  We just happened to have the bikes rolled out of the garage when I realized, wow, 46', 47', 48'!  It really don't get much better than this!  Pinner's Knuck was bad ass but that Pan was TITS!

So we are laying in the grass in Orange County, California waiting on others to arrive to take the ride with us up the Pacific Coast Hwy.  While laying there we started laughing about online dating sites and came up with the idea of doing G Harmony, a sight for gay bikers.  Although we were not gay, we figured it would be a way to cash in and have some extra money for the summer.  This was to be Skoog and my profile photo!  Needless to say, the idea NEVER GOT OFF THE GROUND!  Thank God!

I promised Diane that upon my return from Sturgis, we would take a much needed bike trip together.  We decided southern California would be the place.  While there, I tried to sneak in a bit of work and headed over to Long Beach for the movie premier of I RIDE, a film about the band The Fryed Brothers. 

I'm pretty sure that I have yet to see a photo of Qian that she is not giving the finger in!  These lovely ladies came up during AZ bike week to visit me while I was hosting the Dirty Dogg Saloon, thanks.

The day I brought home Diane's new 1200 Sporty!  I would give anything to see her that happy all the time.  I do mean anything.  It needs a bit of tweaking but it is just plain sick to ride! 

This was  a photo sent to me from a bike shoot in Australia.  I have shipped shirts to 17 different countries now and I love it when people send me shots of themselves wearing them while they travel.

These were my t shirt team up at the Dogg!  Holy shit did we move a hell of a lot of shirts this day!

Riding that bad ass shovel that was loaned to me for BMR by Mailman through the twisties in Georgia.

The very last photo that I took from the front porch of my cabin at the Broken Spoke Saloon in Sturgis.  I was riding off directly in the direction of that storm.  I made it to the end of the driveway of the Spoke, turned left on to 79 and within 100 feet it began to pour!  It dumped on me all the way to Deadwood and from that moment on, I never saw another drop of rain.  I raced to get ahead of the storms and it worked.

The night Diane broke her ankle.  It's funny how dogs know when you are hurt.  Normally, he would have been running around, barking, fighting with the other dog and busting your chops to play with his toy.  This night, Diane hobbled in on crutches, laid on the couch and he never made a sound, he just climbed up next to her and they both went right to sleep.  I had to wake them both up to go to bed!

The one and only Big Ben.  This guy is a beast, a monster, a vicious stone killer!  Who just happens to look right at home with a toy dog on his lap!  If you look close at that old dog, it's teeth are missing and its tongue just flops right out the side of its mouth!  I'm pretty sure this is Lola of Lolasboutiquetoyou.

How many times has a woman given you the ultimatum, it's me or the car or it's me or the bike?  Well as you can see here, the car has outlasted the ladies!  The driver's door has one name painted on it and it simply reads, ASSHOLE!  Great shop I was invited to see in Atlanta Ga, Simms I believe.

NO, YOU CAN'T SWIM IN THE LAKE!  We left at 4:44am to cross the desert and beat the blistering AZ heat.  We arrived after only brief sleep to crazy hot temps.  Set up camp and were about to dive in the lake when we were told that we couldn't!  Yet you can boat on it?  What if we rent a boat and fall in?

This shot was taken around 5:30 in the afternoon.  Only 20 minutes earlier, it was a bright, beautiful sunny day.  This was the day that Haboob 2011 blanketed all of AZ in a cover of dust and dirt!  Wild!  Only a few hours before, I washed the truck, the GTI, the FXR and washed and waxed the bagger that I had borrowed from my buddy Daryl! 

I just happened to have my camera in hand at the Spoke when I turned around to see this!  How could I not take the shot?  He was about to beat her with a Pizza paddle!  I laughed for 20 minutes after this!

I rode to California to meet up with Million Miles Squire at the BAD Ride.  He didn't show up because he was in bad shape at the hospital.  Afterwards, I took a ride for the first time ever to Cooks Corner bar.  The place was packed, bikes were parked everywhere up and down the road.  While shooting some video, this guy comes up to me and says "sorry it's a slow day for the crowds".  Really?  Holy shit

Matt from Wheels through Time museum on a very rare day off at the BMR.  Nothing brings a smile to ones face like shooting shit.  This double barrel potato cannon on a spinning mount was Chris Callen from Cycle Source's offering.  It was bad ass and then we couldn't get it to work anymore!

What?  You never seen a 5 passenger Shovelhead before?  I think at one point they came around and actually had six people on it!  Leave it to Teach! Boys will be boys given the chance!

The two guys on the right brought photos with them to California just in case they ran in to Teach from Minnesota, to show them the old man's knuckle from way back.  I love this shot because of how very genuine Teach is with everyone and his passion for knuckles is second to none!  These guys were so happy and honored to meet Teach they took a whole bunch of pics and brought him over the their bikes.

Diane and Chopper Doll.  I get chills thinking about the damage these two could do if left to their own devices.  I have to say we are honored to call her our dear friend.  She truly is the real deal!

Yeah sure it's a bad ass knuck but what really caught my eye was the sticker on the oil bag!  Ha!

We stop for gas in the middle of fucking nowhere in California and there are all these old trucks and tractors lined up at an abandoned gas station.  Old gas pumps and all kinds of cool shit.  I'd never ever before even noticed the exit!  This is where the boys ate the transmission chicken, I did not!

Riding around the campground the day after I arrived at the Broken Spoke Campground and I looked in the mirror and saw Bear Butte there.  The shot was just lined up perfectly, I had to take it.  In the end, it became one of my most favorite shots of not only the rally, but the entire year!

 Very few things that Diane hates more than when I take pics from weird angles!  This was on her birthday and she is rocking her bracelet that Chopper Doll made!  Lolasboutiquetoyou.com.

 My t shirt made it on the number one rock tour of the year, Five Finger Death Punch!  Guitar player from the band Rains wearing his shit shirt proudly!  Thank you man, I'm humbled!  Rock on!

Finally, our friends Pat and Mario!  I captured this shot two days before Christmas while we were out house shopping.  I was screwing with them and snapped this shot from about 75 feet away.  I forgot all about it and was going through some uploads when I found it.  She looks so happy and he just looks GANGSTA!  These are two of the finest people we know!

So now the year is quickly coming to a close.  We will continue the good fight and try to push forward and make even more memories and great shots for next year to share with you all.  I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and sharing the blog.  It really has turned in to something that I never expected it would be.  Hell, part of me hoped it would fail and then I wouldn't have to worry about it!  If we were together at some rally or met up somewhere on the road this year and you captured a few shots of us, feel free to email them to me, I'd love to see them.  May this upcoming New Year, bring us each and all, nothing but health, joy, love, loyalty and friendships that will stand the test of time.

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit