If only there were more like this young man!

As you guys know, if anything ever changes in one of my posts from its original form, I let you know immediately.  In the case of this post, I have a correction, you will read that I wrote this Marine was shot, when in fact his injuries were sustained from shrapnel.  This story needs to be told and it needs to be told accurately, I appologize for getting that wrong!

At 21 years old, this amazing young man, United States Marine, was stationed in Afghanistan.  While on his way with a unit of Marines and Afghan fighters to meet with "village elders or leaders" or whatever the hell they call them over there, for a pre dawn meeting.  For us, the average citizen we don't know if these soldiers were set up by those very villagers they were going to help or not and perhaps we never will know.  But the fact is that they were set up and ambushed in a tight valley.  They were going in to help rebuild a Mosque and more than 60 people were hidden on the trail that they were traveling.  The Taliban fighters and for the record, FUCK THE TALIBAN, pinned them down by firing machine guns, mortars and RPG's at them.  This Marine's name is Dakota Meyer and when he stated that he wanted to go in and help the 40 mixed soldiers that were pinned down.  I believe the number was 17 Marines and 23 Afghan fighters.  He was ordered NOT TO!  Now you guys know that an order is an order and along with another Marine, they ignored that order.  This BAD ASS MARINE along with his brother, jumped in to a humvee and he took control of the 50 cal turret and they went straight on in to the fight where his brothers were pinned down!  He had virtually no support, he went in and one by one by one took each of these men, his fellow soldiers to safety.  He repeated this OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!  He asked permission 4 times and it was denied!  Thank God he ignored those direct orders!  He made the first three trips in to the kill zone with just the driver of that gun truck!  It was only on the 4th and 5th trip in to the kill zone that other soldiers finally joined him!  He fired that 50 cal. until it no longer fired and then returned point blank fire with his rifle with enemy fighters who ran right up to the humvee.  The entire village rained fire on this unit from fortified positions and this Marine was exposed from his chest up.  I'm not sure on which trip in to the kill zone it was that Dakota was shot but I know it was not on the last!  On the 5th trip, when he finally made it to what was once the front of the line where the 4 Marines were leading the way.  These Marines had been killed in action!  In his trips in prior, he loaded up the Afghan fighters in to the humvee and they drove them out.  HE CARRIED THE MARINES OUT HIMSELF!  There are a great many details of this truly amazing story that I am leaving out because I don't want to describe them wrong but what I have just told you is dead on accurate!  This is truly one of the most amazing stories of heroism that I have ever heard!  GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN SOLDIER!  In his own words "it wasn't if we were going to die, but when"!

This young man denies claims that he is a hero!  Of the 40 soldiers that were pinned down, they were able to rescue and save the lives of 36 of them!  36 of them!  The reason he denies the claim of his heroism is partly because he didn't to it to be a hero, he did it to save his brothers and in his own words, "I'm not a hero, four Marines didn't make it back, I wasn't able to save them"!  I believe that was the quote, perhaps I may have misquoted but I'm damn sure it was, if not, it is pretty damn close to it!  THIS QUOTE HOWEVER IS DEAD ON ACCURATE, "WE ARE GOING IN TO GET THEM OR WE ARE GOING TO DIE TRYING"!  This 21 year old man, fresh from being a boy, saved the lives of 36 soldiers who were pinned down and no telling if his actions may have saved the lives of the entire unit!  On the other side of this story, what makes his actions even more incredible, an investigation had to begin because others refused to help!  They refused!  Nobody else would go in and help him until the fourth trip

The reason that America is the greatest fighting force on earth is because of men like this, because of men and women who give up everything back home and volunteer, unlike any other country on earth and go and defend freedom around the world and defend our way of life and the lives of people who don't even appreciate the sacrifice that these men and women make!

Today, this amazing United States Marine was awarded the  CONGRESSIONAL MEDAL OF HONOR!  He is the only LIVING  Marine since Viet -Nam to receive this medal!  If only there were more people back here in America and around the world for that matter, that lived by this, L, L, H, & R., that this Marine lives his life by!  Just imagine if our country, hell, the world, was once again populated by people who put others first.  Imagine if we were no longer a  people who fight amongst ourselves because someone may believe in God and they do not, or have pure hatred for each other for no reason other than the political party that they belong to or the religious sect that differs from theirs!  I know that perhaps the time for loom-by-yah moments are long since gone and they are dead but it is a nice wish to have that all of this bullshit happening in these times we are living in would just end!  Get back to everyone just living their lives and being decent human beings.  No more judgemental assholes that start shit and then draw others unwillingly in to it!  I don't pray for much and I never pray for anything for myself because that would make me a hypocrite!  I do however pray that never again will another soldier die fighting for an other's personal gain.  I pray that every single soldier, EVERYWHERE, gets to go home to their lives and to the ones that they love, safe and sound.  I have never in my life had the opportunity to serve in the military, but I truly do understand brotherhood, I understand the bonds that are formed when you have to walk in to a battle that you may not return from, I understand LOVE, LOYALTY, HONOR and RESPECT!  This United States Marine is the epitome- of each of those words, perhaps one of the finest examples of it that I have ever had the privilege to see!  What makes Cpl. Dakota Meyer even more amazing is that he is so very humble!  He deserves nothing but great things in his life and I truly hope that he gets all that he deserves.  A great many around the world forget about the battles that these young men and women face each and every day that they serve and worse yet, the battle within themselves that they must live with forever if they are lucky enough to return!  FORGET THE WAR, NEVER THE WARRIOR!  I pray that more people on this planet would act in the way that Dakota Meyer acted on that horrific day and I am sure that he acts in this manner in one way or another each day!

I have readers of this blog now in 89 countries and I am grateful for that.  I understand that you too, each have your own heroes and I respect them as well!  Remember that honor is not exclusive to the military!  We can each live our lives this way!  I am just glad that we are able to write about these heroes, to read about these acts of heroism because there are people out there around the world who become heroes while we get to sit on our asses and hear about them!  I pray that war will end an not one more person ever needs to die because of one.  I know that prayer is probably futile, but that is what we pray for, the impossible isn't it?

Since 1861, 3400 Medals of Honor have been awarded!  These soldiers never committed the acts that earned these medals because they might win one, they acted in the way they did because simply, IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!  It is never the wrong time, to do the right thing!  Stand up people, it is time that each and every single one of us, DO THE RIGHT THING!

In the chance that Dakota Meyer ever reads this, or hears about this post, I want to say this, TODAY, YOU HAVE MADE ME INCREDIBLY PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!  Today you have humbled me once again.  Today, you made every American humble and proud!  GOD BLESS OUR SOLDIERS, each and every single one of them!

Until we see each other again on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back,
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Check out this little Gem!

Back in the old days, in what now seems like a former life, my beautiful angel of a wife left the restaurant business and became a full time realtor.  We've always loved homes!  Different styles, designs and especially the radical ones!  Once we shut down the restaurant and she no longer worked 25 hours per day, 8 days per week, she had time to invest in something she loved.  She loved real estate and as it is today, she loves helping people.  Most people purchase a home, raise a family in it and then when the kids are gone, all grown up, married with their own children, they sell it and move on.  Memories are made, tragedies occur and things we wish to never forget or wish we could happen in those properties and it was Diane's mission to fight like a tiger to get her clients dreams fulfilled!  It just so happened that all of those years that I was in sales and a sales trainer and I made her "role play" with me..... and NO, not that kind of role playing you sick bastards, she actually took in all of that sales training.  She was like a beautiful Italian Sponge!  Normally, when you sell someone something, a used car for example, the buyer ends up with pure hatred towards the seller.  In Diane's first year as a realtor back in Jersey she sold 13 homes.  This was not bad since she had only began in July and the market was not insane like it had been a few years ago.  It was actually quite the feat to have done this.  She was awarded Rookie of the Year honors by her company and that company was huge.  That year I saw something happen that I had never witnessed as a person in sales.  When the holidays came, 11 of those people for whom she found their homes, each GAVE HER a gift!  Some of those gifts were pretty awesome!  Moving forward, Diane became a STONE KILLER in her field.  Month after month, year after year for a decade, Diane was awarded Top Listing Agent, Top Marketing Agent, Top Sales Agent and each year, Agent of the Year. To say that I was proud was an understatement.  The greatest respect, yes, there is that word again, was paid to her by each of her past clients referring her to their friends, to their family, to the people they loved.  A funny thing happened along the way.  We turned poor people in to rich people.  Through our network of professionals and hard money lenders, we were able to get people in to homes that could not even get rentals and within a year or so, they held multiple properties, they became empowered!  We were making people wealthy.  I can't believe how long it took before we realized the opportunities that we had missed by giving these homes to strangers.  We began to buy them and before it was in fashion, we flipped them.  Back then, most only needed carpet and paint, not like today!  Holy Shit did we make money!  Life was great for a good while and we wanted for nothing but for Diane's health to come back!  Move forward, everyone is now flipping homes and buying them up regardless of price, fixing and flipping and holding multiple properties that were mortgaged to the hilt!  We sold off all but one investment and that one we only purchased to save someone from losing it!  That is the one that bit us on the ass and screwed us all up, but no matter what, looking back, we saved someone we loved and you can't put a price on that.  Now we find ourselves in current times!  We are in the worst real estate market since the great depression.  Now here is the kicker, we are at it again.  We are helping people get their lives back in order and build back up.  We find homes, get them fixed up and sell them off.  We do this for a great many people again and hopefully one day soon, we will be flush with cash again and we can once again, do it for ourselves. 

I wanted you guys to see this house as we took the keys to it.  Yes my friends, it is fucked!  Check this beast out!

Pretty much deep shit right?  Well in one month from now, I am going to post up new pictures and show you what the phrase "seeing the forest through the trees" means!  Watch what we do to this house.  Sure the days of making stupid money on each and every house are surely over but if you are not a pig and don't get greedy and are willing to make 10, 20 or 30 grand on a house, you can start raking it in!  The one thing that I can guarantee is that this little wreck of a home will be beautiful and a family will come in and they will make memories that they wish they would never forget or ones that they wish they could!  Life happens and we get people the homes where they can sit in the front row and watch it unfold!  Life is too short, times are too uncertain and people are afraid.  You can't achieve greatness by sitting on the side lines.  You will never be a hero unless you get in to the battle.  You can't help people by wishing that the world was a better place, you have to go out and make it a better place!  The crazy part is that it is contagious.  Doing right, doing good catches on like a brush fire and soon it becomes a forest fire and then it is very hard to stop.  We don't look at this like, well right now we don't have the cash to make this happen for us, so screw everyone else!  We say, let's fire up the old Karma Train and help some people make their lives better and put some cash in their pockets!  Hopefully, it will come back to us!  HOPEFULLY! 

I'm going to make sure that the property looks the way it deserves to look as well.  The potential of this back yard is endless!

..... and oh yeah, Diane sells spectacular homes that you can come down with your bike and park it in the garage, your flippers and snorkel and hop right in the pool or your sex toys and move right on in to the bedroom of your dreams as well.  After all, it is not like we only involve ourselves in crack houses!  What a great name for a company though, "GOOD AFTERNOON, THANK YOU FOR CALLING CRACK HOUSE REALTY, how may I direct your call"? 

So you keep on watching and I'll remind you when this Sweet Little Gem is about to have her "rebirth" and I will share it with you all.  If you are interested in buying a home in Az., don't hesitate to reach out to my girl, it will be the best and smartest decision you've made in a long time!  People always laughed and said that for her clients, Diane would take the pennies off of a dead man's eyes!  She is a tiger and fights just like one protecting her young for her clients, it is amazing to watch! 

Yeah I know this is not comedy and this is not bike related and this is far from my typical writing but i like to let you guys in on each and every, well, nearly every aspect of our lives.  Total, brutal honesty, always, that is the plan and we are sticking with it!  You tell me, what other realtor is going to take you home shopping on Harleys?

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back,
The Man off your Ass
and hopefully a little cash in all of our pockets!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

IF YOU HAVE NO ENEMIES, YOU'VE NEVER STOOD FOR ANYTHING!

The title is a quote from Winston Churchill!  A few weeks ago, as you guys know I finally lost it and blew my stack and felt it necessary to call some one out!  I had never done that before in my life, well on the Internet that is.  In real life, in the real world I've done and said what has needed to be either!  Since I had never done anything like that before,I tormented myself after having hit the publish button.  I can't tell you the amount of emails, text messages, face book messages and phone calls that I received in support of my actions.  One person in particular was on the phone and said "fuck man, it is about damn time somebody said something"!  I said "thanks, wish it never came to this but I just finally lost it".  His response was "you did the right thing man" and then gave me the quote, If you go through life with no enemies, YOU HAVE NEVER STOOD FOR ANYTHING!  I thought about it and those words certainly rang true! 

I believe that a great deal of the trouble that this great nation is facing these days leads directly back to this very statement.  We have passively become a nation of chicken shits!  I don't know when it began, but at some point it did.  We began to let our most precious freedom, our freedom of speech be taken away from us.   Everyone is afraid to stand up for anything for fear of being called everything from homophobic to racist to radical to crazy.  We have been so slowly beaten back and beaten down that for fear of being ostracised or out casted or God forbid, VOTED OFF OF THE FUCKING ISLAND, we no longer speak up and rarely if ever stand up.  Stand up for what we believe, stand up for what is right, stand up for what we feel in the depths of our souls.  We quietly sit back and say and do nothing!  We have become a nation of people who rather than going out and living our life, achieving the things we've dreamed of since we were children, we sit on our fat asses and watch others do it on so called "reality tv".  Because of social networking, a few of us may find people of like mind, like belief or like heart and have "web bitch sessions".  Where we plan for that time when the moment arises and we stand up and finally make a stand.  Each time those moments do arrive, we become a nation of excuse makers and we list the reasons why we didn't make a stand.  Worse yet, we have stopped even making excuses, we sit quietly by and watch WRONG happen.  People talk a big game, I will do this, I will say that, but when the moment of truth arrives, we become cowards!  It breaks my heart to see a nation as a whole, hell a world as a whole so scared to just stand up and say THIS IS WRONG, YOU ARE WRONG, THIS IS FUCKING INSANE!  STOP, STOP IT NOW!  When something actually does happen, rather than becoming part of it, at best, most will become a witness rather than a participant, why, how, when did this all occur? 

You are probably asking yourself right now, self, WHAT THE HELL CRAWLED UP JACK SHIT'S ASS TODAY?  Well the answer is as usual, the damn news!  Watching the damn news is what got me all fired up. Not for any reason that you can imagine either.  Not because I saw people sit idly by while a tragedy happened, not because rather than help or make a stand, or worse yet, just pull out our new 4G phone and shoot some video of it happening.  Between having to relive the events of 9/11 again and catching the video that I will attach the link to below, that Winston Churchill quote rang true again.  If you have no enemies, you have never stood for anything!  We must be involved, we must get involved or folks it will all be gone.  If we do not make a stand for what we believe in, what you believe in will be gone.  I don't care if you believe in one political party over another, I don't care if you believe in NO PANTY TUESDAYS at your office, I don't care if you believe that cattle should have the right to vote, Stand up, let your voice be heard and even more importantly, let your actions be seen!  Motion, creates Emotion and that is a fact!  Be the first on your block to stand up, show someone else that you are willing to take the heat for what you believe in and soon, you won't be standing alone!  On 9/11, those first responders knew damn well that as they ran in to those buildings they may never return home to what they love, to who they love, BUT THEY DID THE RIGHT THING!  They made a stand.  They were going to help people even if it cost them the ultimate price!  For a great many, they paid that price.  The video linked below is another example of people who made a stand!  People who knew that by helping, that they too could be hurt or even worse!  They put that aside because the RIGHT THING TO DO was staring them directly in the face.  Rather than act in the way we have become conditioned to do and look down at their shoes or WAIT FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO FIX THE PROBLEM, they acted!  Because they made a stand and said STOP, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and risked life and limb, a 21 year old "boy" will see tomorrow!  This fucking kid may be the man who cures cancer, had they not done what they did, we may never know!

So I say make a stand and by God, make enemies if you must but please my friends, STAND UP FOR SOMETHING, do the right thing, a nation of sheep breeds a government of WOLVES!  I bet these people have a much better story to tell than, I stood on the sidelines and what I watched was horrific!  If only I had done something or if only our government officials arrived faster this young man would be alive!

Every single fire begins with ONE SINGLE SPARK!  Light the damn fires!  Make a stand, make your life better. I promise you this, one way or another, you will feel better. 

ON A SIDE NOTE:  I try to never, ever edit a post that I make and if it differs from the original I will inform you, just keeping it honest!  What I want to add to this post that I forgot to type before I hit publish post is a great big thank you to the person who shared this quote with me.  I know that you read these and wanted you to know that my knowledge of this great quote has changed me!  I thank you for that and did not want to mention you by name, but you know damn well who you are my friend!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/44510283#44510283


Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
tits in your back
and The Man off your ass! 

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Beautiful night for a romantic Harley ride!

So you guys know that I picked up that bad ass 1200 Sporty for Diane. The night I brought it home she took off on it for a short while. She did a few laps around the neighborhood but that was it. Since that night, she has been working like crazy and coming home late and exhausted. She has not had the chance to take one single ride. I know that it has been killing her. So we did all our running around today, waited for the blazing heat to die down and got ready to go for a ride. I pulled out my pickle.... wait, does that sound right? Well anyway, I pulled out my pickle and took out the sporty and got them all ready to go. She had some last minute shit to do before we left so I sat on the couch and fired up the ol' lap top. I just happened to catch a post from a friend about the "HOLY HAIL SHIT" that was happening out there way. She was about 15 miles or so east of us. I reached out and she said it had already passed on by but it was serious. I punched up the local radar and it looked ominous! SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING, TORNADO WARNING AND QUARTER SIZED HAIL along with 70MPH winds. The storm was east of us and heading north east! Perfect! I watched the radar for another 25 minutes and sure as shit, it was going the other way. I watched the "animated" radar map and it was confirmed. I watched the forecast for the next 6 hours, CLEAR! We went out to the driveway and there were some clouds over head and they looked kind of dark, but I was armed with Doppler radar info, how could that be wrong? It was a beautiful night for a romantic Harley ride!




Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of the tragedy that was 9/11. Never forgive - Never forget! Pray for the survivors and the families of the victims and don't forget the soldiers that are fighting to this day to protect and defend America. God bless the American soldier.

Your friend,
Jack Shit

We all need to laugh this weekend!

As this, the 10th anniversary of 9/11 arrives tomorrow, I've been overwhelmed with sadness. When I feel down, I like to look through old photos of good times and it helps raise my spirits. While going through old files I found this video. I had either forgotten that I even had it or never even knew that I had it.

I was invited to compete in a comedy contest and the winner would open for the winner of Last Comic Standing. I had never before performed a 10 minute set. I am use to doing anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour on stage. I was terrified that I would fuck it all up or god forbid, not make anyone laugh. I had set a plan of attack, all new material and I went for it. As you will see, that plan went straight to hell. I hope on this very sad day that this helps to bring a smile to your face. God bless America and please, never forget the 3000 Americans we lost on September 11th and the soldiers who have been fighting ever since!

Born Free 3 after party

If you guys read my recent piece in Cycle Source magazine titled "MAY THE FOURS BE WITH YOU", this was the culmination of that trip, well sort of! It was the culmination of Born Free 3 and it was amazing. I will tell you briefly in case you didn't read the article or in case you have not picked up this months mag yet and I don't want to ruin it for you. What we did was set a plan and then try like hell to follow and we nearly did. The plan was, 4 guys, 4 FXR's, travelling 400 miles and leaving promptly at 4am.... supposedly. Here was the kicker, we ran late and pulled out at 4:44, you can't make this shit up! Not enough fours for you, then here is one more, the temp 114 degrees! That is the reason that we had to leave at 4am to get across most of the desert before the temps rose and killed us! As many of you have read recently, I have fallen in love with the FXR from Harley, I don't know how I've gone so long in my life without one and now I know, I will never go without one again! What you also know is that I AM A CHOPPER GUY at heart and to my very core so it was difficult for me to be at Born Free 3 on a bike with suspension. What wasn't difficult was riding that fucker across the desert and not stopping every 80 miles for gas. Born free was truly an amazing event and I don't know how it can possibly remain a one day event. There was far too much to take in with only a few hours. I have been reading about plans for Born Free 4 and I am pumped. I had heard rumor that the event had grown in just three years from an alley party to a massive event and may have gotten too big! Thank God they are not true.

After we packed up camp at Irvine Lake Campground we decided to make a run up the Pacific Coast Hwy for a few hours and then work our way back down to Seal Beach. Brother Teach and his crew of iron assed maniacs had ridden 2500 miles at the minimum to be there on antique iron, some even further and as a knucklehead owner, I sort of felt redeemed when Elvis, his 47' knuck made the journey with a single issue! Well Teach and his crew were staying down in Seal Beach with Chicago Will another proud knucklehead rider at his place and that is where the after party was held. Will and his lovely wife and crew put out one hell of a bbq spread for all of us and no bullshit, the greatest mac and cheese that I have ever tasted in my life! We hung out until around 7 pm before we had to make our mad dash back across the desert. When I shot the video below of attendees at the bbq, only about 1/3 of them had arrived. I should have taken out the camera and caught more video but I was so blown away by these bikes and then the ones that rolled in afterwards, it never entered my mind to start shooting again. I want to thank Chicago Will for inviting us in to his home, Keith Cole, Milwaukee Mike and Skoog for being the 3 other FXR's in the four story, Kevin Teach Baas and Scotty, Mario the Dirty Sanchez and so many others for making this an amazing trip! There is so much more to tell but one, I don't want to bore you with it, there is a video of some sick ass choppers to look at and just in case you haven't picked up this month's Cycle Source mag yet, I don't want to ruin the story! I do however want you, my fellow chopper lovers to take a look at this video and enjoy these bikes as much as I did. Don't miss out on next years Born Free 4!



Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
tits in your back and
the Man off your Ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

IMITATION IS THE GREATEST FORM OF FLATTERY

At least that is what I've been told! For the last 15 years that I have been an ordained minister, I have done a great deal of weddings. I have written each and every single ceremony for every single couple and they are all different than any other. There is one part of the ceremony however that I have used on many occasions for the couples and the ceremonies that have meant the most to me. Like I said, I've been doing this during weddings now for 15 years. There are a few of you that read this very blog whose weddings I have performed and you will recognize this. Watch the video and start to pay special attention at 3:00 on the clock.

Like the video below, many of these weddings that I have performed have been video taped and shared around the world on places like you tube. It is no secret that I perform a great deal of biker weddings and have done quite a few "outlaw" weddings. You can imagine my surprise while watching Sons Of Anarchy tonight and heard my blessing used in Opie's wedding ceremony! I damn near shit! So if you guys watched the show tonight this will ring a bell to you. If you recorded it, go back and watch again. Should I assume that a check is in the mail? Yeah, probably not! This was a great wedding and one of my all time favorites. The links to the rest of the ceremony are also here on this YouTube page but it was part 4 that I really wanted to share with you guys. The funny thing is, if you go back through my old posts, there are two from 12-24-10 that I posted of this very ceremony.

Like they say, "IMITATION IS THE GREATEST FORM OF FLATTERY"! I hope you enjoy!



Until we see each other on the road or until someone uses another part of my life on yet another tv show,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend, "The Sinister Minister"
Jack Shit

Who are these fucking people?

I did not take one single photo last night on my trip or even once I arrived.  I did however drink all but a mouthful of an entire bottle of Jack Daniels so I never even thought to take the camera out.  Before we all met up in Tonto Village for the party and camping, the rest of "our crew" was hanging out with Long Jon and Pinky over at Sacred Skin Tattoo up in Payson, Az.  For over a year, one tattoo in particular had been discussed at great length and you are looking at it above!  I call these commitment pieces!  Why you ask?  Because you should be committed for getting it done!  I have got to say beyond what it reads, the work is kick ass and the lines are so tight!  This photo doesn't do it any justice, it truly POPS when you see it!  I give you credit Brother Adam, you got balls of steel for doing this!  Now you don't have to ever worry about being shy, you just have to shake hands with each girl you meet from here on out!  After this, they shut down the shop, everyone else met up at their new house and rode on down to the event down the road.  I wanted to wait for Diane to get home before I left.  When she is out with clients, I stay at the house and pretty much run tech support from here.  So I wanted to make sure that she didn't need me for anything before I left to do the 95 mile ride.  Usually no matter what the weather here in the valley, it is insanely different up in the mountains.  Nearly every day in the summer an afternoon monster storm rolls through and cools it all down.  By the time you hit 4000 feet on the mountain it is usually cold, even when the valley is at 115 degrees.  Last night, the temps never dropped.  I rode all the way there in just a t shirt.  I never even put on a sweatshirt the entire night until I went to my tent to sleep around 4 am or later.  You could not have asked for a better group of people to hang with.  The event was already going on for two days by the time I arrived and it went until 11pm.  I did not even enter the event until ten minutes to 10pm.  We watched a great local band called Hard Ride tear the roof off the joint.  If you guys are local here in AZ, you really should check this band out, they are really making a name for themselves these days! 

I got to the forest, and followed the road to nowhere in to the event.  The only thing that could have made hanging out there more perfect would have been if my girl was there with us all.  Long Jon, Pinky Pancake, GTP, Chris, Jokey, Keith Cole, Brother Adam, Menace and the lil woman, Walrus, Suzy Ferrington and so many others were all there partying already long before I even arrived!  It was so great to just sit around a fire, drink and just laugh our asses off.  The best part of the night was when we told everyone that came up to meet me that Jokey was me!  He's a funny and good looking guy so he pulled it off pretty damn well.  Then around 3 am we told people the truth and nobody believed us so I went to sleep and he had to remain Jack Shit for the rest of the night!  Everything was perfect, right up until..........

So at about 3:30 in the morning, this morning, I find myself in the middle of the largest Pinion Pine forest on earth, sitting around a camp fire and hanging out with my dearest friends on earth and 2 new "friends".  The two new friends came out of the shadows, flashlights in one hand, the other resting on top of their holsters!  They really snuck up on us too!  "Hey guys, welcome, want a beer" I asked!  Then "is there something that we can help you with"?  We are going to have to ask you guys to quiet down a bit, we've gotten complaints about the noise!  We are in a forest, who complained, an elk?  Apparently there are houses nearby but as it turns out, that is not who called the police!  I can't believe I am even going to say this but I'm going to, the cops weren't bad!  There I said it!  They could have been complete dicks and read us the riot act or ran our plates or asked for ID from any number of us shit faced fools but instead they just walked back in to the shadows.  As they walked away, the people in the tent across from us said to the cops, now get this shit, "IS THAT ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO"?  Can you believe that?  We are at a bike party in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere and some son of a bitch, punk ass, no respect having piece of shit called the cops to complain about the noise!  This is a first for me and I have seen some shit!

As the cops walked away they answered the RATS with a  "yeah".  That was it.... well that is until the fuck stains that called the cops got out of their tent and broke down their camp and left!  I didn't know about any of the shit with these assholes until this morning when we were talking about the cops coming up last night.  I laughed because when the sun was up, you could see the houses right across the road.  That is when everyone told me about the people in the tent!  Who goes to a biker party that was going on for 3 days, sets up their tent in the middle of all the action and then wants peace and quiet?  Who are these fucking people?  I wonder where they went?  Did they go and set up their camp near the nice and quiet bikers?  Did they leave the national forest altogether?  I wish I had seen or heard any of this because if they think they were miserable before, they would have had no idea what I would have done to them for the rest of the overnight period!  Now the funny part was that this was not even your average, run of the mill "fashion show" type of bike event.  This was put on by the MMA here in AZ.  The MMA stands for Modified Motorcycle Association, you know, choppers pretty much!  There were no $12 cups of coffee for sale, no chaps vendors, just some drinking, eating, bands and camping....  Truly the perfect combination of ingredients to cook up a great event.  That is until you get jerk offs to show up.

Everyone who did not drink a bottle of Jack Daniels got up early as the temps rose and broke down camp.  They were all heading off to Menace's joint up the mountain in Heber and then back to Long Jon and Pinky's place for a bbq and all night party!  I sure hope they don't have the cops called on them again tonight.  There are some pretty nosy elk that come right up in to the backyard!  Rather than stay and ride and party and do one more over nighter, I waited for everyone to leave and then I took my time breaking down my camp and took off in the other direction.  Diane was working again today so I wanted to get home as fast as I could and take my rightful place back in "tech support".  I also missed the hell out of my girl.  So I race home only to find out that she is out all day showing property!  Go figure!  Hey, at least I'm home sitting in the Ice Cold Air Conditioning!  The last 60 miles or so on the way home were stifling and sucked the life right out of me!

So remember now, next time you go to a multi day bike event held in the middle of nowhere, please don't forget to be very quiet, God forbid you wake up any of your neighbors by HAVING A GOOD TIME!  So again, I have to ask, WHO ARE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE and why do the even exist?  I am so sick and tired of fakes, frauds and losers who put their own misery on to others or go to places that they don't belong!  They are so unhappy that they have to ruin the good time for every one else!  The really funny part is that not one of us ever even thought that we were loud at all!  We were not revving bikes up or doing burnouts and we didn't even have any music going...... and they called the cops....  Can you picture  that 911 call and imagine the description that they gave.  911 what's your emergency?  Yes, we are at a motorcycle event and we need your help.  Has someone been injured or shot?  Well no, but the large group of bikers in the tents across the dirt road from us in the woods are being loud.  Is this a prank call?  No, really, we need you to send some officers to quiet them down.  Okay ma'am, we are sending two cars out.  How do we find you?  We are in the red tent next to where the guys found the rattle snake earlier, under the big pine tree, you can't miss me, I'LL BE THE MISERABLE RAT BITCH STANDING IN THE ROAD COMPLAINING.  Who knows, by the time you arrive I may have a boot in my ass!

There are very few people in this world that I can't stand but it is people like this that make me sick!  Obviously they don't belong.  I truly believe, TO EACH HIS OWN and I have no problem with what people do or where they want to hang out but don't be a fake a fraud or a liar, I have zero tolerance for that.  Just be who and what you are and people will eventually either take to you or send you packing but at least you were honest!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass ---- and out of your campsite!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Howdy everyone!  I am totally shot out from cleaning the garage today in 115 degree heat, to make room for our newest addition to the family!  I can't believe that I got it cleaned out enough to put not only 3 bikes in it, but 3 bikes in it side by side!  Honestly, I never thought I would see the day that this happened!  I must say though, it is nice to see "our stable" getting filled up again.  There was a time where things were so rough for us that I thought the knuckle would be my last and only bike and to be quite frank, there were times a year or so ago that I thought I would have to let her go as well!  I thank God that the day never had to come!  I am so fried out from the heat that I am falling asleep with the laptop cooking my balls!  Today, in my mail box, I found a comment that was posted on an interview that I did a while back.  I have gotten really great feedback on it, but I am sure a great many of you never got to see it!  So, I took the link from my friends blog and pasted it down here below.  I really hope that you guys enjoy it and it gives you a bit more insight in to the mental patient that you maniacs have befriended!  I wish you all an amazing Labor Day Weekend and I hope and pray that you and your loved ones all remain safe and sound!  If you guys are riding, please watch your ass and watch out for your buddies that you are riding with.  IT IS A WAR ZONE OUT THERE and I don't want anyone that I care about getting hurt or worse!  I'm not saying don't have fun, hell I'm not even suggesting that you don't go out and get twisted up, I'm just saying watch your ass!  The cops will be out in full force as well, with the economy the way it is, they have to make money some how, so watch your ass with them as well! 

Here is the link to the blog.  Once you are there, click on follow and keep an eye on this page, it really is a great blog!  I think this will take you to the main page, just scroll down a post or two.  Thanks for checking it out!


http://iowaharleygirl.blogspot.com/

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Another Pony Added to the Shit Family Stable

It's a happy day here at the Shit Ranch today!  For the first time in roughly 7 years, Mrs. Shit will be back in the wind on her own!  The chopper project doesn't seem to be moving at quite the pace it should be.  My friend who was hand building the frame for the XS chop has literally dropped off the face of the earth!  I have no idea if something happened to him, it's like he just doesn't exist anymore.  I had to make a move and make one quick!  If you guys remember, last month I took Diane out on the FXRS and pulled over and said more or less, "let's go, your riding, I'm riding bitch"!  She was so happy about riding again that it was killing me to not see her in the wind, back on her own scooter!  I put the word out that the chopper project was going bust for now and to keep an eye out for a great Sporty at an even better price!  Every few days friends would send me links to bikes for sale.  Of course, the best ones were always gone and the shitty ones you see on there for months on end are still available!

While we were in California a bike came up and Brother Adam sent me the link to it.  Of course I could not get it as I was on the road.  When I came back and saw the bike, the year, the mileage, the extra shit that came with it and more importantly the price, I knew it was the bike for Diane!  I called the guy and of course, it was gone!  He had taken a deposit on it and the guy would not have the money till Thursday.  He was leaving early on Friday morning to go to the lake and said to give him a shout on Tuesday after the holiday.  TUESDAY?  How the hell am I supposed to wait until Tuesday?  Diane had seen the link over my shoulder and flipped out over the bike.  I told her the story and she was really bummed out.  "I REALLY LOVE THAT BIKE BABY" she said with a sad tone!  Well I am not going to allow her to be sad if there is anything on earth that can be done to change it! 

So this morning I woke up, called the guy back and told him that we are together 25 years and I love my girl.  I told him that it was our anniversary and that in the past each time that I got jammed up for money that I sold her bike out from under her.  Always with the promise to get her another one!  I told him that rather than wait till Thursday for the guy to call and ask for more time, I would be there the moment he got back from work, cash in hand and I would give him 200 bucks more than the other guy offered!  Well, I guess he is a romantic because he was blown away at what I was trying to do for my girl.  "I'll see you at 6pm" he said!  Really?  "Yes sir" he said.  So I asked about the guy with the deposit and he told me not to worry about it, that he would deal with the heat that came from it!  What a nice guy he turned out to be.  He was so happy to see Diane with that bike and told me that he was really glad that he had done what he did!  He thought the other guy was going to buy it and flip it anyway.  The look on Diane's face when I told her that the bike was hers is something that I won't forget, she was so genuinely happy!

When Diane is happy, I am happy and her happiness is all that matters to me.  Everyone always asks me why we don't save our money.  Well quite simply, Diane has Multiple Sclerosis and we go to sleep each night and never know what tomorrow will bring.  She could wake up one day and not be able to walk or wake up and be blind again like when she had her first attack and who knows, maybe this time she won't get her sight back.  We live each and every single day like there won't be a tomorrow!  It may not be for everyone but it damn sure works for us!  Why wait and then have to look back and ask what if we had done this, or what if we had gone there?  We will no longer do that, we live each and every single day to the fullest!  WE LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!  One day there will not be and I don't want to look back and have regrets. 

I rode the bike home from the guy's house and I was stunned at the power that this little Sporty had!  It is a 1993, 1200 Sportster with 6388 original miles on it!  He through in all kinds of extra parts, a brand new battery, changed the oil and even filled the tank with gas.  Like I said, what a truly nice guy!  I jammed through the gears and when Diane caught up to me at a traffic light, I was smiles from ear to ear, there was no way to even wipe it off of my face!  On the way there I said "oh shit, I forgot my helmet"!  Diane said "but you never wear a helmet around town"!  "I need it so nobody sees me riding this damn thing" I said!  By the time I was halfway home, I was smiling at people and proud like a peacock!  I could care less that the bike was Wineberry Sunglo!  After feeling that lil rocket ship take off, I could not care if it said "COCKMASTER" on the side of the tank, I was having a blast!  We got back to the house and all Diane wanted to do was ride.  It has been so long since she has ridden and riding in Phoenix is so hard core and so fucking dangerous that I suggested that she take the rider safety course and shockingly she agreed!  I told her that I had total faith in her ability but would feel so much better if she just freshened up on her skills.  Again, she thought this was a great idea!  I was stunned!

So we get the bike home and I grab the camera and take a few pics of my baby, with her new baby!  She goes inside the house, a few minutes pass and Diane comes out with a helmet and boots on!  "What are you doing" I asked?  "I'm going for a ride" she said!  ????????  What happened to taking the course?  "Oh I'm still going to take it, but first, I'm going for a ride" was her answer!  With that, she fired up the bike, pulled in the clutch and kicked it down in to first gear.  Well, okay I guess but first, I want you to remember .......... and then I saw the back of her head and her pony tail blowing in the wind!  She took off and was out of sight in 15 seconds.  I now know how the dad feels as he watches his child ride off for the first time on the bicycle.  I was worried to death to say the least.  After what seemed to be an eternity, she came rolling back up with the brightest smile that I have seen on her face and she was all glowing!  You would think that she came back pregnant by how radiant she looked!  All night tonight she just walks by me smiling!  I love that she is so happy!

So if you can, do something nice for someone.  No matter how big or how small it is, because it will make you feel as good as it makes them feel!  If I died tomorrow, I would go a happy man!  The funniest thing she said upon her return was, "it's like I never stopped riding, like I've never been off a motorcycle".  I said where do you think the phrase "it's like riding a bike came from"?  It looks like our stable of murder sickles is growing again.  Now all I have to do is keep her from getting a cooler knuckle then me and we'll be okay!

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back (or in this case in the wind)
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Sometimes you just need a damn break, no matter how short it is!

So I loaded up the Pickle Sickle and kept my promise!  I had told Diane that when I returned home from Sturgis, we would hop on the bike and I would take her to California.  She has been working so very hard for so very long and has not had a break in what seems like forever!  With the pressure of constantly working and worrying about how to bring in the next buck.  When you are in Real Estate these days, it doesn't matter how great at it you are, it is a crazy fickle market and buyers are not beating down your door, you have to hunt them down and she is the great Italian Hunter!  When you are use to traveling like we always have, not taking a vacation for a while really makes you miss getting away.  So the plan was on and I have to give her credit for sticking to it.  In order to beat the heat, you must leave the Valley of the Sun by 5am at the very latest to cross the desert or you will wish you were dead!  I knew after only a few hours of sleep, waking her was going to be the most difficult part of the entire trip.  I got up nearly an hour early and at 3 am I was double checking the pack and the bike.  I told her that she had to be up and at it by 4 am, not a minute later.  I feared having to wake her!  I came back to the bedroom at 4:01 to hear the shower running and see her bouncing around, man, she really did need to get away! 

We pulled out late of course but at least we were on the road just after 5 am.  We jammed across the desert for all the Pickle Sickle was worth and even as the temps rose, not a single complaint from my girl.  We were off to Southern California to see our friends Chopper Doll, Qian, Betsy and maybe even throw a Bart in there as well, do some riding and spend at least one day being totally lazy on the beach.  Within the first 50 miles of the ride, my sciatic nerve got tweaked and no matter what I did, I could not squeeze my legs together to keep them on the floorboards.  I did all that I could do to hang on the bike!  We were about a 125 miles outside of Seal Beach and we gave a shout to C.D. and told her what was up.  "I'll fire up the spa and it will be ready when you get here"!  Now that's what I'm talking about!  We arrived after stopping at Starbucks to get Diane a monster size drink and load her up with caffeine to keep her going.  We were welcomed at her house like we had been friends for 20 years.  Within 20 minutes, I was floating like a tea bag in her spa and it literally saved my ass!  We chilled for a bit, caught up on some gossip... okay, the girls caught up on some gossip, I just listened from the jacuzzi!  Then our friend took us to this kick ass joint right on the beach for lunch!  Day one of our mini vacation was off to a great start!  By this time though, Diane was about full on running out of gas!  I had just enough time to race back to the house, grab my Pickle Sickle and head off to the I RIDE movie premier.  I arrived there with nearly 3 minutes to spare, this weekend was going perfectly!

The movie is about the Fryed Brothers Band and their lives and most importantly, about their lives behind bars.  Handlebars that is!  It was a great movie and it had a pretty damn good turnout for the Long Beach premier.  I ran in to old friends, met some new ones and we are going to work on putting on a Phoenix Premier of the movie, so I'll keep you posted on that as it moves forward.  I think my favorite part of the movie was seeing brother Miles Squire up there on the screen, healthy, happy and full of life!  Squire truly loved the Fryed Brothers Band and when you see the movie, you will see how very much.  I got to see guys like Beatnik and Kim Peterson from Biker and In the Wind magazines and friends like Will and Richard who showed up with a hard backed poster of Squire and everyone signed it.  It was a nice moment.  It was the same one that we hung up on the wall at the Broken Spoke Saloon after Squire's memorial there!

When the movie ended I walked outside to grab a smoke from my saddle bag and get some fresh air as I kept falling asleep during the movie.  Don't get me wrong, the movie was great, it's just that I was so fuckin exhausted from getting up at 3 am and riding 400 miles, then eating a big, late lunch and the theater was so cold and nice.  I get to the street and the bikes next to me are parked so damn close to mine I had to lean over from the left side of the bike to reach the right side bag.  I'm thinkin, what kind of an ass would park his bike this close?  I know that a lot of bikes were parked out front and no one wants to park across the street or around the block but what was so damned important about getting in to this spot in front of the theater?  Then common sense took over and my eyes began to work and I thought, okay, I'll give them a break this one time.  First off, the two bikes that were jammed in next to me were both FXR's and you know my new love for them but it was the paint job on the tank mostly that caused me to give them a bit of leeway!

I guess that they were running a bit late for their own movie premier and had to slip on in to any space that was available, so they put two FXR's in one spot and with the Pickle Sickle there, that made three.  How often do you get to see FXR's lined up like that?  Well, if you are me, often but not for most people.  Wait, I'll show you from another angle, this shit was tight!

It looks like I am carrying his luggage!  His bag was literally laying over the top of my saddle bag lid!  No there was not that much space available when they pulled in, it was lined with bikes!  We walked around the side street, hung out after the movie was over and I watched as everyone had a "safety meeting".  We shot some video interviews for the Squire tribute movie and then we all headed over to the Gas Lamp on Pacific Coast Hwy for the after party.  I hung out for about 45 minutes, but since Diane was not with me and this trip was all about her, I had to get back to Chopper Doll's house!  I raced there as fast as I could and got there only to realize that I wasn't missed much at all, go figure!  So being the loyal, loving man that I am, I plopped down on the couch and sat quietly while the girls watched Millionaire Matchmaker and I didn't complain not even once.  I do believe I did shout WHORE at the screen a few times....... or more even.  I know I promised to take lots of pics from this trip but looking back now, I barely took any.  We ate some Chinese food, and I passed out on the couch.  Which in the end was a lot more comfortable than the concrete sidewalk next to her garage where I had planned on staying!

Sunday came and we had originally made plans to ride on up to Hollywood and attend a benefit with the entire cast of Sons Of Anarchy.  They were helping out with a benefit for soldiers and you guys know how passionate I am on that cause!  Later we planned on heading from there over to see our friends Qian and Betsy who was luckily in town at the same time we were!  Like they say, plans are meant to be broken and that is just what we did.  We slept in and moved like 90 year olds with our depends under garments filled with shit!  We never even fired up the bikes until after 1:30 that afternoon!  Looks like Hollywood was out!  Miss Chopper Doll had us covered and took us on a gorgeous ride through some canyons and through the Cleavland National Forest or some shit.  Why anyone in California would name a national forest after Cleavland I have no fuckin idea.  Let's name something beautiful after something ugly.  Then I thought maybe it's named after President Cleavland and the same thought prevailed, yeup, still fuckin ugly!  We rode our asses off and arrived at this bad ass lil bar in the middle of nowhere called Hells Kitchen.  The concrete walls were made in the form of human skulls and the walls were cut flames.  Well, here, check it out!

We arrived dying of thirst and starving.  We got off the bike, stood in the sun which only made us even more thirsty and shot some pics.  We walked in to the bar and it was dark as hell.  Awesome, I love dark lil hole in the wall bars but this one was REALLY dark.  Then I heard the girls voices "Jack, the power is out"!  Okay, so we drink and eat outside.  Well we can't get anything to drink from the fountain because that needs power and we can't get any condiments because with the power out, the coffin can't be opened and because....... wait, DID YOU SAY THE COFFIN CAN'T BE OPENED?  That matters to us why?  Does a vampire make drinks and cook the food?  "No, we store all the condiments in the casket" the bar maid said.... oh well, that makes complete sense, where else would anyone store condiments? 

Eventually the power came back on and I could not help but go open and close the casket!  Hey, a guy needs bbq sauce!  We sat there and watched as every few minutes a bike cop took off from his little hiding spot between two trees and chased people down to give them tickets.  FUCKIN CALIFORNIA trying to make up for their budget shortfalls on the backs of their citizens!  It's a disgrace.  Needless to say, when we pulled out, we rode with a little less aggression than we did on the way in.  Especially after receiving the warnings from others in the lot that cops were both up and down the hill and they had been there all day.  Shit, did we blow right past them on the way in?  We took off and then headed down the hill and through the canyons back down to Cook's Corner to see if we could still catch the Fryed Brothers on stage.  We didn't but we did manage to catch them in the parking lot, not as good but nice anyway.  We hung out and as Diane and Chopper Doll began to look on in disgust at the drunken parents who had brought their infant baby to the bar and were speaking of how great it was to be out of prison, especially after being violated so many times by parole officers, I decided to suck down my Jack and Coke and beat a hasty retreat before they ended up back in prison for choking me to death!

You can see the devious looks on their faces here.  I knew that they were going to be up to no good so I set up he camera on the timer just to capture this moment while was face was pretty much still reasonably attractive and didn't have boot prints on the side of it yet!  The ride out of there through the canyons and then down towards the ocean absolutely rocked!  We rode out in to a southern California sunset and it was truly gorgeous.  We made it to the freeway, cut across 5 lanes of traffic to the HOV lane and until we hit the exit never once had a single car in front of us!  It could not have been more perfect.  It had gotten late and now there was no way on earth to make it up to the valley to have dinner with Qian and Betsy so I sent a text saying sorry for missing them.  I decided that since it was Diane's vacation, she had the night off and I ran over on the bike to the supermarket, picked up some shit and then came back and destroyed Chopper Doll's kitchen!  I whipped up some of my famous Rigatoni w/ vodka sauce alla Jack Shit and we had a kick ass dinner together.  Okay, so Diane was not totally off duty, when we were done, being the amazing girl she is, jumped up and cleaned the kitchen and the mess I had made of the most beautiful Viking Stove, thank God, I would not have known where to even start cleaning that shit!  We followed it up by eating cookies on the couch and watching more reality tv.  Tonight's viewing, Real Housewives Of New Jersey..... shit, I'm married to one, why the fuck do I need to watch it on tv?  But being a good man, I sat and we all made fun of these Jersey Bitches!  I have not seen that much drama in Jersey since the first party that I attended at Diane's house when we started dating!  Our host had to get up early for work and finally told us that we no longer had to sleep outside the garage on the sidewalk and if we wanted to, we could move right on in to the garage, so that was really nice!  Hey, I told you she treated us really well didn't I?  She went off to bed and Diane and I both fell asleep!  That garage was really warm and comfy.  We slept so well that we didn't even wake up until near 11am.

To the beach to the beach to the beach we go!  We hopped on the bike and rode on down to Seal Beach which for the record, I still, in three trips now have yet to see one fucking seal!  So I think there may be some bullshit going on here!  I'll keep you posted as my investigation furthers!  If you have never been to Seal Beach, you should really get over and check it out.  You may remember it from my writing about Born Free Chopper Show and the after party at Chicago Will's place.  As it turns out, he lives only two blocks from the ocean.  Main St. there is filled with great little shops and restaurant bars.  Definitely worth checking out and your ladies will thank you for it, trust me!  The beach is like the beaches that I am use to back east.  Big and beautiful and a long walk to the water.  Great sand and lots of people having a great time made the afternoon perfect.  We planted our asses down and staked a claim!

All done with our 2 slice one drink lunch special and ready to hit the beach!

The Beach had a great view.  Funny thing is, the sun was so bright that I was shooting the pier and could not see the screen on the camera so I zoomed a bit and hit the button.  I laughed afterwards when I saw this!

Sorry, just a Baywatch moment!  No Pamela though.... or CJ I think was her name.  Hell, no Carmen Electra either, just these three wannabe rockers!

Self Beach Portrait.  I was bored, Diane was working!

Even on the beach, even on vacation and even 400 miles from home and she is still on the phone working but this time she is doing it with a smile on her face!  That makes me really happy!

By the time we left, this is what the beach looked like and nope, still no damn seals!

One last shot before loading up the bike to split the beach.

We had planned to head back to Chopper Doll's house where she said we could clean up.  She was even willing to hit us with the pressure washer in the garage or our guest room as it is now being called.  We were going to roll out just prior to sunset and hit the desert in the dark as temps were still supposed to be over 100 degrees.  By 7 pm we are out the door and rolling down the road, that was the plan!  I was really worried about the heat from the engine and the pipes along with the heat from the desert and how it would affect Diane so I was pretty intent on sticking to the plan!  I guess plans are made to be broken!  As we were just finishing dinner around 8:30 at the restaurant and I had yet to pack up our shit and clean the garage, I knew we were going to be very late getting home.  Yes, we cleaned up the garage, after all, we are good house guests.  You can't stay at some one's place and not leave it clean.  Too bad we didn't have any laundry to do because the washer and dryer were right there in the garage.  It was nice too because I like to leave a light on when I sleep and all I had to do was open up the door on the dryer and there it was, night light, perfect!

So now here we are, running late and having a big dinner!  We are staying with a friend and rather than give her a gift, she is giving them to us.  What a sweetheart!  If you guys remember a few months ago, we did the necklace and bracelet giveaway.  If you ordered some I know Jack Shit shirts you were entered to win.  Well Chopper Doll was the one who donated that jewelry for our cause and I won't forget that!  You guys should check her out at lolasboutique2u.com, the stuff is gorgeous!  The bracelet and the necklace that you guys always ask me about are pieces that she made, they are so fucking cool!  Well she gave Diane the baddest necklace and made me for my birthday, the sickest wallet chain you have ever seen!  Thank you so very much Chopper Doll, you rock! 

I got all dressed up for our last meal and rocked my new Wall of Death T'shirt!  Damn I'm sexy!  Oh yeah, the girls, they sort of looked okay too.

It was a really, really long ride to the restaurant so we had to shoot some pics on the way to keep us occupied.  I wish I could have driven so that I could at least say I was driving Miss Daisy.  Next time maybe.

A little pre dinner, pre gift shot!  What a really great weekend, it sucked that it was so short! 

Diane was so happy all weekend!

Diane rocking her new necklace!  Thank you Chopper Doll!

So we chowed down like animals and shot back to the house for our middle of the night blast home!  Packed up our shit, cleaned up our socks and underwear off the garage floor and said our goodbyes!  We took off down the road and we were just getting in to the ride when this maniac pulled up next to us.  I thought this crazy California lunatic was going to shoot out the window at us or something but luckily we made it out safely.  Each time I see a white BMW I will get chills and watch my back from now on, you never know when that maniac will be back!  Our 1am arrival at home turned in to a 4 am arrival and you know what?  It didn't matter even in the least!  We both have been working our asses off and we needed the break.  Our no work rule for the trip was almost followed.  Hey, we can't be expected to stop cold turkey ya know.  So I did some work at a movie premier and Diane negotiated contracts from the beach, no harm, no foul!  I will look back on this August and have fond memories.  I knocked it right the fuck out of the park at the Broken Spoke, kept my word to my girl and took her away, made some amazing contacts and I didn't even go and talk to any of those tv guys in LA.....  hell, tv will always be there, we needed a break!

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,

Tits in your back

and The Man off your ass.

Your friend,

Jack Shit