LADIES LOVE MY PICKLE!

Before you start writing me notes, messages and leave comments oh here, wondering what ladies are loving on my pickle, I'll tell ya!   I had mixed feelings on the whole sordid affair.  My guilt was eating me alive and it was getting harder and harder to keep the entire thing a secret!  Imagine if you would that guilty pleasure of having secret sex on the side with someone who is really unattractive but the best sex that you have ever had.  Typically, you would go to one an other's home, meet in dark alley ways or at the park in the woods, LATE AT NIGHT!  This was not the girl you took out to the clubs with you or out for an expensive, romantic dinners or God forbid, take them to meet your friends but that is just what I did and I have such fond feelings that are growing in to so much more!  I am coming clean to everyone, I may have strayed and be falling in love with another! 

Our relationship became so powerful that I didn't care who knew about us!  I took her out to meet my friends.  At first I could see them leaning in to each other and whispering, then pointing and I think my mistress knew it too!  Well she was going to show them!  That ol' girl performed so flawlessly and showed me things I did not know existed!  The other guys were no longer looking at her ugly nose or bad make up but looking at the way "she strut her shit" and I found myself being less ashamed and more proud, "YEAH,THAT'S MY GIRL"!  As you may or may not know, two weeks ago I took a last minute trip to California for Born Free 3, while travelling together we learned so much more about each other.  Believe me, I know you are thinking that we can become blinded by something we don't normally experience or something we didn't even know was missing our entire life!  On occasion, that something new you are only going to do briefly, then end it and keep it a secret grabs hold of you and it's traction is so amazing that you can't break it lose if you try!   Early on, you can't stop thinking about the girl you left back at home and what would she think, how painful would it be, if she saw what we were doing ?  The problem was that not only were there an incredible amount of people at Born Free 3, but a great many who knew me and knew that my partner for the weekend was not the sexy ass bitch I normally appear with.   2 weekends ago, we became a couple and there was nothing that I could do about it!  The whole world found out.  I could keep the time we were spending together a secret anymore, hell all kinds of people took pics of us together.  Most "friends" didn't address it, others did.  Nearly every conversations would start with "so what's the deal man"?  Where's your girl? 

Being good friends, some may not have agreed with what I was doing but didn't bust my balls about it too bad.  Others questioned my judgement or said "she don't compare" and things like that.  I took it in stride.  With each moment that would pass, I would glance over and shockingly catch others checking her out.  I could feel a little bit of pride well up in me.... "yeah, she's with me".... I would think.  I cut out of Born Free 3 and head back to the campground about 25 minutes earlier than everyone else.  We got there and we were totally alone.  Looking at her cooling down next to the lake, I realized that it was hard to betray my girl but what's a guy to do.  I'm not getting any younger.  We can all agree on that right?  Show me someone who is?

We came back from Orange County and snuck back in to Phoenix in the middle of the night, just shy of 4 am.  At first, I didn't say anything.  I just watched and waited.  I waited for the emails to come and the pictures to begin popping up all over the net, but they didn't.  I think the longer that this remained largely unknown to many, to bigger the toll it took on my gut, on my heart and on my soul, it was eating me alive and this is why right here, right now, I AM COMING CLEAN TO THE WHOLE WORLD!

Today was the final straw.  What took me by total surprise today was rolling up to an event and watching the girls go ape shit for her.  I mean wow, they walked right up and said how hot she was and were rubbing their hands all over her!  I stood there, mouth open wide, in shock!  She certainly wasn't fighting it, I really believe that she loved the attention she was getting from all of these ladies!  While I didn't say anything, I call could thing was "oh hell yeah", "this is going to be an interesting event".  I was only there for a few moments when I was asked if it was okay if they did a photo shoot with my new girl and all the pinup girls.  I was speechless.  "Yeah, I guess so", "really, are you sure, you aren't fucking with me are you"?  No, they were serious.  I grabbed a beer and those who know me, know damn well, I don't drink beer.  I guess I was just a bit nervous.  They took photos, hundreds and hundreds of photos.  Without exaggeration, there had to be at least 7 cameras flashing at the same time and a few cell phones capturing a few shots casually.   I stood just out of frame and that's when I heard, hey Jack Shit, c'mon man, you are missing out, don't you want to get in the mix?  C'mon man, get in "the group"!  HOLY SHIT!  This was worth all the trouble I was going to be in!  I mean honestly folks, if this was happening to you, would you even stop to think about your girl at home?  That's what I thought! 

The secret is out to everyone now!  So many photos were taken today and they are already popping up on line and on face book.  I may as well beat everyone to it and share a few myself! 

SO I'M COMING CLEAN, and I am going to break the news to the world myself rather than read about it here or see it on TMZ.  I love my FXRS!  To my knuckehead KOKO, I'm sorry.  Not only did I stray, but I enjoyed it, hell, I loved it.  To be quite honest, I am going to do it again and again.  Hell, I may not take you for a good, long, hard ride for sometime!  The way she performed on our trip to California two weeks ago, the way I could twist her and turn her and the way I could lay her over to either side was like nothing I ever experienced before.  I didn't know this was missing from my life but now that I know it was, how can I ever be expected to stop?  I just hope that our mutual love and respect will hold us together and you find yourself willing to now live in an open relationship, because I'm open to it!  I have gotten past how she looked and fallen in love with her soul!  It's a beautiful soul!  So friends, don't hate me for what I have done, just try to understand me for it.  Please, don't judge me!

While on the trip, everyone started calling you the pickle, then the green pickle and you just shook it off, you didn't let it bother you at all.  By the end of the trip, you were the Green Pickle Sickle and you earned it!  What I find shocking is how much the ladies love my pickle?  I still can't get over it.  What I am more shocked about is how many men admire my pickle.  It is still weird to hear someone ask, do you mind if I sit on your pickle?  HELL YEAH I MIND, I hardly even know you!

Everyone have a great weekend and until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

They are still out there!

Don't give up hope!  If you allow them to find you and open the door when they knock, there are still exceptional people walking this earth.  I know that with times getting harder and harder each day, the ugly in people is really rising to the top and rearing "its ugly head", so to speak.  With each day that passes, a feeling of sadness lay in the bottom of my gut.  Every day, I hear of another story of some one, formerly a dear friend, who has thrown that away for what seems like next to nothing!  It breaks my heart to hear stories of betrayal, lies and out right deception that people share with me!  Screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice then shame on me, should be the mantra that we go through each day with.  That being said, it is difficult to be that hard nosed, heartless monster that can no longer forgive and forget but what are you supposed to do?  At what point do you draw the line in the sand and cut that person loose?  At what point do you decide that you will no longer allow anyone in your life to hurt you?  AT WHAT POINT? 

I too have gone through periods in my life where betrayal and deceit were so crushing to me that it was hard to acquire the strength the raise my head and get out of bed in the morning.  I pulled up my big boy pants and moved on with each day but could not shake the "why" question that was gnawing at the back of my brain.  You know what?  In nearly every single case, you will never know why people do what they do and that sucks.  For some time, I swore that I was done, that I had enough people in my life that I loved and that loved me and they would never, under any circumstances hurt my family.  The problem for me was simple though, I love people!  I missed meeting new people, I missed hearing new tales around a fire, I missed learning from others mistakes, oh hell, I just missed widening the circle of people that I could give back to and pay it forward!  I answered a few knocks on the door and I can say that I am glad that I did.  In the last few years, opening that door has allowed me to open my heart and in return I have gained some friends that I would not nor could not imagine not having in my life for the rest of it!  Sure, maybe one out of 100 that you meet will be one of those people who remain friends till they hold your hand, or you hold theirs at the side of a death bed!  People ask me if I think it is worth the hassle of going through the 99 and it is no easy answer but I have come to the realization that it is!  How can it be you ask?  Well it has to be, otherwise we would never find that 1 in a 100!

In what is the worst economy and the worse times since the great depression and while so many people break your heart and disappoint you, others will step up and their actions will blow your mind!  I suggest that you give some one the chance to do just that.  You can't find the diamonds without first digging through layers of rock, and dirt and shit and so on and so on, you get my point, but the pay off is, THE DIAMONDS ARE THERE!  So I say do a little mining, the pay off will be worth it.  I also suggest that once you open the mine that you have a security guard there to protect your interests and have him carry a big stick and a reliable pistol!  HEY, YA NEVER KNOW! 

That is just a little JACKSHITLOSOPHY for ya this Friday night!  I hope everyone has a great weekend and stays cool and safe out on those murdersickles.  In life, like respect, friendship is never just given, it is earned, so give some one the chance to earn yours!

In the next day or so, I will be breaking some Sturgis news that will hopefully make us all happy!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Sometimes Mother Nature just full on kicks you in the balls!

I THINK THAT PICTURE SUMS UP MY FEELINGS ON THE EVENTS OF THIS EVENING!

Since moving to AZ. 6 years ago, I have seen some incredible storms.  I have seen snow covered mountains in Phx., in April, I have seen rivers form within moments in the middle of the desert and I have seen monsoons and lightning like never before in my life.  I have also seen dust storms or as I learned tonight, HABOOBS, before as well.  But never before have I ever seen anything like tonight's storm!  If you look at my earlier posts from tonight, you can see the video of the storm rolling in and striking like Chuck Norris' balled up fist!  I had to capture some photos and I hope you enjoy them.  Also, check out the national news, this time AZ, made the news for something other than immigration laws or shootings!  The shots and videos that were taken from helicopters are nothing short of spectacular!

 This photo is of Diane's windshield only a few moments in to the storm and this was parked in a carport covered and blocked on three sides!  Oh boy was there more to come.

It actually looks like it is snowing!  It was the blizzard of the summer of 2011

Holy Bat Shit!  We also had about 14 drops of rain to turn the dust in to cement, it was a nice touch!

This was the insult to the injury!  Doesn't it look like one of those bikes you always hear about?  THE BARN BIKE, found after 70 years under some hay bales and an old cloth tarp!  Problem is, it is a 2010!

Here is the real bitch of it all!  Instead of keeping my bike in the garage, I kept my buddies bagger in there.  He was kind enough to loan me the bike so I had to safeguard it.  I pulled it out, washed it, cleaned the shit out of it and then put a nice fresh coat of wax on it.  Diane had clients in town from Canada today, so I went with them to see some condos and figured when I got home I would ride the bike back over and return it.  When I got home, my buddy Jay was waiting in the driveway for me.  We bullshitted for a bit and were hanging in the back yard and I was showing him how nice the yard and the pool came out!  We had people over yesterday for the fourth and I actually shop vac'd the patio and the concrete decking all the way around the pool.  Really wise idea as it turns out!  As you can see, I didn't quite make it over to my friend Daryl's house tonight.  Had my buddy Jay not shown up, I would have gotten on the bike and ridden directly in to that storm!

Look at the bottle of wax and the rag still sitting on the damn tank!  Boy oh boy the universe sure has some sense of humor don't it?  If you think this looks like shit, take a look at the rest of this shit!

It looks like I just drove a thousand miles in a blizzard behind ice and rock salt covered tractor trailers!

Here is the view from inside my truck!  Tonight was just insane.  I am seeing reports and videos of horrible accidents from vehicles crashing at full speed in to stopped vehicles in front of them.  I hope and pray that everyone is okay out there and all of my friends and extended family have made it home safely to the ones that they love and those that love them!

I think that this photo above pretty much sums up my feelings on the whole thing.  I just once again hung up the phone with George The Painter, he is on Jay Kroll's Road King trying to ride back from California.  So in other words, he is driving directly, head on in to it.  The truly wild part is that rather than the storm hitting and getting smaller, it is truly "snowballing" and growing larger and larger as it rolls across the desert.  Once you get past Phoenix, it is nothing but open desert for hundreds of miles and he is now in a place called Desert Center.  It is a town that literally has died.  So that skinny prick is in a ghost town, hunkered down in an abandoned building wearing his helmet and glasses and he isn't even riding.  Like the saying goes, "there are no atheists in foxholes"!  I checked the radar and told him not to worry, he doesn't have to wonder what lay ahead.  DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT LIE AHEAD!  So in that shell of a building he shall stay for a while!

The storm died down and Jay and I went outside and started shooting pics, we were stunned.  He leaned over the tour pack of the bike and blew hard and a huge cloud of dust flew in to the air.  This gave me a great idea.  I will just back the truck in to the street and tear off down the road!  Simple right?  That will blow the dirt off just as easily as it blew on.  Well, it was a great theory.  Did it work?  OF COURSE IT DIDN'T WORK.  I had forgotten about the 14 drops of rain that we got to go with the HABOOB!  That pretty much was the same as opening up a bag of quickcrete, dumping it on the truck and spraying it with the hose.  The truck is pretty much covered in cement now!

Now the truly amazing part is, I LOVE LIVING HERE!  I have never lived any place like the desert and I don't think that I would give it up.  I've seen things here that I have never seen before and each and every day brings something new.  This is now my home, so mother nature, the universe, bring it on bitches and throw at me what you will, you can not, you will not break us!  I'm not sure that my pool filter is taking the same position that I am, but hey, it's on its own!  I'll leave you with a few shots from around the valley.  First though, let me show you a shot of what happens when you just point the camera up in to the black sky, what you see here looks like a blizzard, it however is not snow, IT'S FUCKING DIRT!

It was brutal to stand outside.  You could not take a breath because you feel the weight of the silt like dust fill your lungs and you could barely open your eyes because the wind driven dirt felt as if you were being sand blasted!  I want you to keep in mind when looking at this above photo that we did not go outside to begin taking photos until the storm and its intensity had dropped by 95% at the very least.  I feel for those stuck outside in it with no where to go, GTP for example.... Here are some shots in closing....

If you have ever been to AZ., this photo above is a shot of OLD TOWN SCOTTSDALE!

Until we see each other again,
Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Incredible what a storm brings!

Storms are few and far between here in Arizona, but when they come, HOLY SHIT, do they come. Tonight we had a damn near biblical storm. As the storm was dying down, I went out back to check on damage and my pool. The damage was not nearly as bad as I thought and I was grateful. The pool is a huge mess and the yard was pretty much turned upside down. I noticed that a newspaper was about to blow in to the pool so I ran over to grab it. I was stunned with what I found! I hope you all did okay and survived this monster. Check out the blog post just prior to this if you want to see the actual storm itself. I am going to put up some photos of the aftermath as well. Check this shit out!

js

az dust storm

I will make this short and sweet.... words can't describe what we just went through!!! This was 2 thousand feet tall, 50 miles wide, about 40 miles deep and moved at between 50 - 65 mph! I only caught this by accident. I was in the back yard screwing around with the dog and I looked up and over the roof, it looked like a wall of smoke from a fire. This came without any warning at all! After you guys check this out, I am going to post some photos, you won't believe this shit! For those of you who experience snow storms and blizzards, that is what this way, but rather than snow, it was DIRT!!!

UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN,
KEEP THE WIND IN YOUR FACE
TITS IN YOUR BACK
AND THE MAN OFF YOUR ASS!

YOUR FRIEND,
JACK SHIT

ever wonder what it would be like to win a 46' Knucklehead?

Since we are having a themed night here at Jack Shit's World and that theme being raffles and giveaways, I thought you fine folks might want to know what it feels like to win a 1946 Harley Davidson Knucklehead! I captured this at Born Free 3 last weekend! The truly crazy part is that I had not purchased a ticket yet as the drum roll was being played, my insides curled up and began grumbling! I could feel the anticipation growing and I was crazy nervous! Again, I had no tickets! I can only imagine the feeling of those who did! The tickets were 25 bucks a piece and the winner............ ah hell, you can see it all here! Congrats to both the winner of the Knuck and the fine people who put on Born Free 3 because it was truly a stellar event! Next year, if the event continues, it should grow to a multi day event, it was far too incredible to take it all in over a period of only a few hours!

Until we see each other again,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

The Shit you've been dying to see!

So here you go folks, this is the moment so many of you have been waiting to see and the answer you have been waiting to hear! I want to thank the one and only Chopper Doll for being such a generous soul and having such a huge heart. None of this would have been possible without her and we will never forget the kindness that she has shown us! Visit www.lolasboutique2u.com and check out the amazing bracelets she creates! Thank you all for being part of this..... are you the winner? Someone is! Watch the video and find out, you just may be the new owner of some gorgeous bracelets!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,

Jack Shit

Born Free 3 final words!

After an incident free ride out to California with good friends to share some more miles with even more friends all good things must come to an end. There is a fantastic story to be told here and unfortunately you are going to have to wait a little bit longer for that one! That story you will be able to find either on the Cycle Source Magazine Blog or in an upcoming feature for the magazine itself, that has yet to be determined! But what I can share with you guys, my loyal readers, new followers of Jack Shit's World who have just stumbled by accident in to my world and for those I ride and share my life with is this culmination and these final words!

We broke down camp, racked and stacked our murder sickles and tried to suck down the last of the Jack Daniels that we could manage to choke down before breakfast and were about to make a run for the border! Okay, not really the border but sort of! We decided that there was no way on earth that any of us would survive the 118 to 125 degree day time temps of the desert on the ride home, so we would pack up, run the PCH (Pacific Coast Hwy) and then head on down to Chicago Will's joint for the "official" after party and bbq! We would split out around 6 or 7 and make the mad dash at the 400 mile trip back home! Before we left Irvine Lake Campground, I had to capture a bit of video and share my final thoughts on Born Free 3. I have to thank our dear friend, Mr. Keith Cole, the King of the FXR for all the work he did to get us the only two campsites left for miles and miles around and they could not have been any better! Mr. Cole, you are nothing but class sir and we are all lucky to have you around!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Today I lost a friend and our community lost a LEGEND!

It breaks my heart to announce to you guys, my friends, that this morning our community lost a legend!  Early this morning, my friend, Million Miles Squire lost his ongoing battle with cancer!  He was being cared for in California by some incredible friends, but it was time for him to make the journey back to Detroit where he was from.  He had to make one stop on the way and that was here in AZ.  Upon his arrival, as he sat down to rest, his exact words were, I'M HOME!  Not long after, he truly was taken home! 

Miles, the nickname he was given by none other than Willie G himself, lived the life that many of us could only dream of, he rode his motorcycle and that is all he did!  I may not be correct on this but as I understand it, it is my belief that Miles had the most documented miles ever ridden on a Harley Davidson and I believe it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 million!  Can you imagine that?  2 million documented miles.  Imagine how many were undocumented?  Now he will ride on throughout eternity with smooth roads, clear skies and along side all of our brothers and sisters who we have lost before!  LONG MAY YOU RUN BROTHER SQUIRE!

As of right now, no further details are available to share.  I would like to ask you guys, my friends, if you have a photo of you and Squire, please forward it to me.  As I learn more, I will share it with you all.

In the meantime, please live each day to the very best that it can be lived, love the ones that love you back even harder, cherish the good you have and try to forgive those that have wronged you in the past if you can, life is far too short not to enjoy ever moment that you can and there is far too much weight on your shoulders to carry around a grudge, eventually, it WILL break your back.  LIVE LIKE THERE MAY BE NO TOMORROW because one day, there won't be!

With regard to my life, we all must live with the decisions that we make.  A few weeks ago, as you all know, I went out to California to attend the Affliction art show and go to Rip's BAD ride, the reason I was going was because Squire called me and asked me to come.  I wanted so desperately to sit down with him and ask him all of those questions that no one ever asked him because I knew that he was sick and that cancer was a monster.  At the location where Rip's was held, there is absolutely no phone signal and unknown to me, Squire was in the hospital again and was calling and calling and calling me!  I had no choice but to return home and it wasn't until I was in Palm Springs on the ride home that I heard all of the messages that he left for me.  I knew that soon he would be back in AZ. and I would sit down with him there and I made the decision to continue on home.  I will have to live with that decision forever now and as I sit here, I deeply regret it!  Sometimes, there is no tomorrow!

Million Miles Squire, you were the only one of your kind and the void that you leave will be impossible to fill!  As you cross through the pearly gates, know that you were loved and respected and that is all any of us could ever ask for!  Ride On Man


Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

You can't ride those bikes!

I'm so fucking sick and tired of hearing people use these very words, "well it looks nice but you can't ride those god damned bikes anywhere"! You can't ride a rigid anywhere, that is why they call them "bar hoppers". I call bullshit! I have a rigid Knucklehead and I ride it anywhere I can. It's a damn near bone stock bike with a few exceptions! Back in the day there were no bikes with "suspension" and people got on them and rode them from sea to shining sea in search of the American Dream or living the American Dream of freedom. There are a great many who jumped on the rigid chop "wave" and many of them don't ride those bikes all that far. They show up at bike nights or the local bar with a bit of an attitude and mock the guy on the street glide for not being as hard core as they are. Then you have guys like you see at the beginning of this video who ride these bad ass "long bikes" everywhere. I witnessed Robert "Pinner" Hernandez ride this bike like he had been riding it for 30 years! Splitting lanes at 40 mph and tearing ass through southern California like he owned it! Big deal right? Who in southern Cali. doesn't have a rigid? The thing is, he rode this bike from Phoenix, Arizona to get to southern Cali. to do it! The bike itself is a work of art! This spectacular Panhead is rocking a 37" over Spartan Frameworks Girder that is truly a work of art! Although this video is short because the 405 could possibly be the worst road I have ever ridden a bike on, check out what it is you see here. Our little group of hooligans are tearing ass on a knucklehead, panhead, shovelhead, evo and twin cam. All we were missing was a flat head! Take a quick look at the blue fxr that comes rolling up behind the two long bikes, it is the only bike like it on earth. Both of these bikes will be featured in up coming issues of Cycle Source Magazine and they both deserve all of the accolades they receive. Even though these two bikes are truly worlds apart in their styling, they are not in their construction or the genius behind either build. I have so much to share with you fine folks, my friends in the upcoming days, regarding this trip that I need to take a bit of time to figure out how to share it all and where and when to publish it! Until I can figure it all out, I hope you enjoy this quick video of spectacular bikes being ridden by the greatest brothers any one could ever ask to share a lane with, or in this case, TO SPLIT A LANE WITH! For the record, this video was not shot from the drivers seat of a car, but rather the saddle of a scoot! Because it was the worst road I have ever ridden and thought I was going to die, the video is so short!

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Battles have been won and the end of the war is near!

 When we started this shit I didn't quite no what to expect.  Like most companies in Arizona, we were given lots of promises and I just waited for them to be broken.  They didn't live up to the horror level set forth by nearly every contractor that we have met in the last 6 years but they did manage to piss us off a few times. 

When it came time to chop the pool up, the crew showed up and it seemed like they did it in no time at all.  These guys were working like animals chipping and chopping.  Once it was all done, they then formed the steel and oddly enough, took everything that they chopped up and dumped it back in to the pool!  Then they disappeared!  This was to be expected.

As it turns out, I guess we had to wait until they chopped up two more pools so that they could dump that shit in ours as well!  Seems that we had stuff dumped in our pool from all over the valley.  I guess it was cheaper than dirt and sure as hell cheaper than concrete.  After a few days, our crew showed back up and poured some concrete that I swear, if I were shitfaced drunk and had never done it before could do a nicer job!  I had a knot in my stomach thinking that we picked the wrong company for sure!  I got photos sent to me while I was on the Cali. trip and even on my droid it looked like shit!  I got home and Diane told me that they would be here at 6 in the morning to plaster.  I laughed and said that there is no way on earth they would show up on time.  I was right, they showed up early!

I was blown away at how well this pool was coming out and with the quality of the craftsmanship that this company was bringing to the table.  I was also dumbfounded that something was going our way, I'm not used to that at all!  Everything that was outside our house was covered in an 1/8 inch of concrete dust and it was time to start cleaning up.  What is the sense of having a nice pool if you can't even sit down next to it without being covered in shit?  This should be our last MAJOR project at the house.  We've been here a year and a half now and it has taken twice as long to do the work and 3 times the projected budget, but if you've ever done any renovations, you already know how that works out!  I was now motivated as I had not been to get back to work on the yard.  The weeds near the orange tree were damn near head height or higher, there are piles of construction material all over the yard and debris from doing the new roof was every where.  It was time to roll up my sleeves and dig in.  In typical Jack Shit fashion, I never get motivated to work outside until it is over 105 degrees and this was no different.

It made no sense to start the clean up, only to make a bigger mess so I ran down to Charlie the Nomad's house and grabbed up his sawzall and did what we had discussed doing from the first time we ever even looked at the house.  I began to cut down the iron fencing around the pool and once I was at it, there was no turning back.  I cut away the iron but I have left the brick, FOR NOW!  Once I had gotten the iron down I was relieved that I had made the right choice!  Knowing that I didn't screw up for once, fueled my fire to keep going and try to make the back yard as happening as possible!  Each day, or rather after each long ass day out in the sun, I had a little more to show for my labor and was happy that it was paying off.

You can see off in the back just how bad the weeds were.  If you look closely, you can see something sticking up through the top, it's a high backed lawn chair, yeah I know, they were bad.  I set out to kick this yard ass!  Things were going so well with the pool I had to make the rest of the property look as nice.  So each day, I break my ass in the yard and Diane lays out on the chairs that I lovingly placed around and swims or floats in the pool.

In Diane's defense though, she does every now and again yell from her raft, "honey, why don't you come in the pool too"?  Because someone has to clean this place up, that's why!  By the third day, I had won a few of the battles and it was looking like the back yard war was going to be won by the Shit family!  The pool area started to really shape up as well as the surrounding area.

Now on to the battle of the weeds!  I got my weed whacker out, put on my sun glasses and actually put on work boots.  I have had a few close calls while weed whacking in flip flops!  I fired it up and headed on in to the valley of the weeds.  For about 3 minutes and all it did was keep breaking the cutting line!  These are some tough weeds!  Perhaps I should have cut them down before the stalks got so damn thick...  I was going to have to break out the heavy weaponry and go with the lawn mower.  The only problem was that some weeds were 6 feet high and as soon as you pushed the mower in to them, the mower wanted to stall out.  I must have been some sight to see.  I would bend all the way over with the handle of the mower virtually on the ground and the spinning blades spinning and hacking away like a drug crazed Samurai!  It was a huge pain in the ass and hurt like hell, but I was making progress!

I had won the weed beatdown and was feeling pretty damn good.  Then I remembered the other half of the yard was not only filled with weeds but all kinds of other shit!  Furniture, concrete fountains, pipes and a massive bar b que and bar were all still in my way.  With what little energy I had left and with my legs bleeding a slow death of a thousand cuts, I mustered up the balls to attempt the other side.  What was I going to do with all of this shit?

That bar from hell right there took 7 of us to lift up on to a lift gate of a big ass truck and the damn thing nearly snapped it off!  Brother Adam and I moved it about 45 feet across the yard at the Mountain house by ourselves but we snapped a steel hand trucks base plate clean in half and at that point we gave up and the following day I hired 5 more guys to help us!  The above photo does not do it justice, each piece is 11 feet long and nearly 7 feet wide.  At the last house we had to build a 15 foot circular concrete pad to place them and then realized that was just for the island, the bar stools didn't fit!  This thing has been the albatross of my life and the bane of my existence since we moved to AZ.  I would have thrown it out if it wasn't 15 grand!  Now half of it sits in my garage and the rest sits where the 7 of us were able to get it.  It has not moved in 18 months and won't move anytime soon.  Unless I throw a pool party and invite YOU GUYS over.  If I do, beware and bring a bathing suit and your work boots and gloves!  I got the whole yard cleaned up as darkness fell.  I was so shot out that the very last thing on earth I wanted to do was go near the pool or yard.  I had to go out and scrub the side of the pool so that the plaster continues to cure or some shit, who knows, I just do as instructed.  While doing that I could not help but to look around at what I had accomplished in 4 days and it felt pretty good.  I put down my pool brush and grabbed the camera and took these last shots.  Now, I can't wait to come back from a long ride in the blazing AZ sun and have this to come home to and yes, you my friends are always welcome at the Shit Family Resort and Spa!

So now, all we have to do is find a place to move the bar, hook it up and fill that fucker with liquor and it is party time at the SHIT FAMILY RESORT AND SPA.  I will keep you fine folks posted when the date is set for a party.  It seems that with each pic I post, I am asked repeatedly, when should we come over?  Believe me folks, once I know, you will know as well!  I will tell you this in advance so that there is never a mistake, I have only one rule when it comes to the pool.  IF YOU THROW SOME ONE IN, I THROW YOUR ASS OUT!  I don't fuck around by pools, I have seen far too many people hurt because of this stupid shit and it don't fly at the Shit House!

Until we see each other on the road or at the Shit Family Resort,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

The Shit Family Resort and Day Spa

I've been getting quite a few messages about not writing and sharing new shit with my friends for the last few days. They say when you live in Arizona, your back yard is the biggest room in your house. If that holds true then the biggest room in my house is a total shit hole! It seems that when your home is 93.5 % renovated, there are always "piles" of projects laying around. A stack of old doors here, two saw horses in another area with molding and door jams stacked up on them, my bbq island that was taken from my last house in another corner of the property, a big concrete fountain that is in 3 pieces leaning up against a tree and weeds near my orange tree that are no bullshit, as tall as me.... Every now and again, the back yard is sort of cleaned up and it looks great and we enjoy it. With the roof being done, the fascia board being replaced and painted, the only siding on the house being being torn off and replaced and everything covered in concrete dust from having the pool jack till it looked like the dark side of the moon, I guess I let it go a bit too far? So for the last few days, I have been in a showdown with the back yard. Hell, I'm feeling so good about it again, I may even turn the lawn sprinklers on. So the pool is nearly finished and I took down some of the iron fence and the gate around the perimeter of the pool. I am torn between leaving the brick columns and "mini me" wall around the base. I have also toyed with the idea of cutting an opening in them to make a walkway through, take them down altogether or leave them be just as they are. I guess time will tell. I'll keep those of you who are interested and ask me about this shit up to date on my progress. For those of you who just want me to post up half naked girl pics or chopper pics, sorry, but I'll get those to you again soon enough!

I just heard that there was another earthquake in Christ Church, New Zealand, I sure hope I heard wrong. If I am not wrong, we all need to hope and pray that nobody was hurt too bad or God forbid killed. It truly seems to me that the world is off its rocker, so to speak. I guess I'll just keep working on the yard and we will have one hell of a "kiss our asses goodbye" party in December of 2012! As a matter of fact, just in case the world really does end, I AM GOING TO BUY ALL THE PARTY SUPPLIES ON CREDIT! Everyone have a great Wednesday!


Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit

Chopper build progress

So that is it!  This is as far as we have gotten so far but we have big hopes, dreams and plans!  Can you picture it now?  Hell yeah, I can see her tearing down the street on this bad bitch right now!  Funny thing is that I said "how far we have gotten", shit, I didn't even have anything to do with this!  Brother Adam walked outside with a bug up his ass and a sawzall in his hand and this is what we ended up with!  That was yesterday, can't wait to see what tomorrow brings...  Do you want to see more pics?  Well so do I but this is all we have!  I can tell you this though, I can guarantee that it will be cool as hell!  You guys have a great night, a great week and I wish only nothing but good for each of you.

It's shot night and I am going to check on my girl.  I am absolutely exhausted from breaking my ass in the back yard trying to get the pool up and running and making it seem as if humans live in our home and not billy goats!  I am kind of proud that the weeds over near the orange tree are as tall as I am.  Do you have any idea the amount of neglect it takes to get weeds that high?  NO?  I'll tell you then, a shit ton!  That is an actual measurement by the way!

The pool is coming along really well and the poolside area is really looking sick!  It is nearly ready and up to bad porn movie standards so I am pleased with that!  Quite a few of you guys have asked to see pics of the progress so I'll shoot some tomorrow and post em up.  Yeah, yeah, I know, this is neither biker nor comedy related so what the hell am I doing?  Hey, I told you that I was tired!

I was in a really great mood tonight with all that I accomplished and then I got taken to a really strange place.  I had gotten a friend request either today or last night from a woman in Australia, names are not needed here because her story has broken my heart.  Her son was murdered at 33 years old last year and the body was hidden in a shallow grave.  It took a long time to find the criminals, yes more than one who did it and in that time, the stress has given this poor woman multiple heart attacks.  She has two other children who are horribly ill as well.  She sent me a message and told me that she desperately needed to laugh or smile at the very least.  I know only one thing!  I was not able to do it!  I spoke to her from the depths of my soul and my heart, but what can you say to someone who has suffered so much and continues to do so each and every single day.  To add insult to injury, she has to go and see these fucks in court each time.  I can't begin to imagine having to live through this.  Worse yet, I would feel tortured as she does by not being able to get my hands on the people responsible for this horrible murder!  I can't imagine being able to see the people who are responsible for killing my child and be only feet away and not be able to get my hands around their throats!  I ONLY WISH THAT I COULD HAVE MADE HER SMILE!

So now it's off to bed and tonight as I pray that Diane does not have a horrible reaction to her medicine, I will add my new friend to that list of prayers and pray that she can find some relief, some easing of her pain and that some type of vengeance is granted her!  For each of us, I can only wish that none of us ever have to feel this type or level of pain!  I believe that the Universe puts people in our paths for a reason, now the question is why has this person been put in my path and what can I do to help ease her pain?

Until we see each other on the road,

Keep the wind in your face,
Tits in your back
and The Man off your ass!

Your friend,
Jack Shit